NecessaryDecision

by A. D. Christopher

  Kylar heard the last words through the most awful roaring sound in his ears. His blood was rushing way too fast through his veins. This couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t.

  They’d planned this? They’d—they’d used him?

  An act, it had all been an act. All of his hopes and dreams were the imaginings of a fool. His resolution to believe in love—no matter how many pieces made up the whole—was the stupidest thing he’d ever done. Gable and Varek had lied. Lied.

  They’d used him. They’d lied and told him they loved him, made him believe for the first time in his life that someone actually cared. And not just someone, but two someones, two incredible, smart, sexy men he’d been stupid enough to believe loved him for who he was. He’d come here tonight to announce his impending triple-warrior-mating, and they were…probably…laughing at him. Standing at the edge of the woods, watching him climb those never-ending steps and…laughing.

  No, they wouldn’t. Would they? They wouldn’t buy their freedom with his heart. His hope. His dreams.

  His love.

  He looked up, not wanting to meet Baron’s eyes but finding it impossible not to. He didn’t want to see the happiness in his father’s face, the joy that he’d managed to stab his son through the heart.

  But surprisingly, he didn’t see that, or at least not as much of it as he expected. A little sadness lurked in those eyes too, a little pity that only made the whole thing so much more awful. And it was that pity that finally convinced him that it was true. That his father wasn’t simply enjoying himself, taking pleasure from hurting his son… His father pitied him for being a fool.

  Baron’s gaze dropped to the floor and he dismissed the slaves with a curt, “You may go.” As soon as the door closed behind them, he turned to his son.

  “Well. Now you see the kind of mess you can get yourself into,” he said, rising to pace toward the fireplace. He plucked a cigar from the wooden case and rolled it between his fingers. “It’s a good thing you have a father with brains who can step in and prevent you from making these ridiculous mistakes. For heaven’s sake, Kylar, what were you thinking? Did you really think two slaves were going to love you?”

  Kylar swallowed and forced a smile. “Of course not, Father. Why would anyone love me?”

  Baron snorted and reached for his cigar clip. “Don’t be a self-indulgent fool. You should have known they had ulterior motives from the start. You’ve made the entire family look ridiculous. You’re a Grossman. And still, you planned to stoop so low as to take two mongrel Unfree into your home and give them your name.”

  “And what a name it is…” Kylar felt as if he were floating above his body. Even his father’s hard stare couldn’t seem to bring him back down to earth. He didn’t want to hit the ground again, didn’t want to be forced to acknowledge that his dreams were crumbling all around him.

  “I knew you were capable of some amazingly stupid behavior,” his father said, snatching his lighter from the mantel with an angry flick of his wrist. “But this really takes the cake.”

  “How did you find out? Did Hendrix and Job—”

  “You moved them into your home. How did you think I wouldn’t find out?” Baron shook his head in disgust. “I heard about you and the slaves, and I asked the appropriate people the appropriate questions.”

  “You went digging for gossip about them.”

  “Of course I did! What was I supposed to do?” he asked, lighting his cigar and puffing for a moment before straightening to his full height. “If I’d let you blunder into a mating like that you would have brought shame on the entire Pride. You’ve already ruined our name. How could you carry on like that in front of everyone? Sucking some slave’s filthy cock in public? If I’d allowed you continue acting in such a fashion the Elders would never have—”

  “You don’t allow me to do anything, Father. I’m a grown man. What I choose to do is my own business.”

  “Not when it concerns our family, our family name! How must your mother feel that—”

  “When is the last time Mother felt anything?” Kylar asked, his anger becoming a quiet storm inside his chest that would not be pushed away. This was it, the time to speak his truth. It had been building for years. “You drove all feeling from her years ago. You stole her hope or happiness in the name of what? Your family name? It’s just…a name, Father. What’s important is the family who bears it.”

  Baron’s eyes flashed. For a moment it looked almost as though he would start the Change and challenge his son to a full fight. Kylar’s body tensed, a part of him hoping his father would make this physical. A physical fight would be so much easier than this verbal attack.

  But Baron didn’t shift into his cat form, he continued to use his very cruel, very human words. “Well, one of us has to care about our standing in the Pride. Maybe if you cared more about your reputation you wouldn’t have been outwitted by a couple of tight-assed Unfree sluts.”

  The last of Kylar’s fight seeped out of him. Even knowing his father spoke the truth, hearing him talk that way about the men he’d loved—that he still loved—ended any hope for an amicable end.

  “At least I have feelings,” he said quietly, with as much dignity as he could summon. “I do the best I can. But if I’m such a blight on the family name, consider me out of it. You can mark me out of the family Bible.”

  Baron’s eyes widened and he started to stand up. “Now hold on a minute, that’s not—”

  “I don’t care what it is.” He had to get out of there. If he stayed any longer he was going to attack his father, and the thought shamed him far more effectively than any of Baron’s words had done. The only thing worse than Baron winning was giving him the satisfaction of seeing Kylar lose the last of his control. “It just is. Goodbye…Baron.”

  Quickly, before he could be stopped or stop himself, he left the room, ran past his mother and out the door. Running for home.

  If only he knew what he would find when he got there.

  Chapter Six

  Varek checked the clock again, and Gable laughed softly. “It’s barely been an hour. We can’t expect him to walk in, announce he’s going to be triple-warrior-mated, have a celebratory drink and run back out. You know it’s going to be awhile yet.”

  Varek shook his head. The uneasy feeling in his chest had started the second Kylar left them in the woods and had only gotten worse since. Kylar had been gone only an hour. It felt like a lifetime. “I’m just worried.”

  “I know. Me too.” Gable scooted closer to him on the couch. The heat of his body against Varek’s felt good, but didn’t ease the tight feeling in his chest. “I’m worried about him too.”

  “I just wish he’d let one of us go with him. The thought of him in there alone… I can just imagine what his father must be saying about us…and about his own son.” His voice cracked. Any other time, with any other man, he might have been embarrassed by the unshed tears stinging his eyes, but not with Gable. And especially not when it came to Kylar. “He shouldn’t have to do that alone.”

  “He’s not alone anymore,” Gable reminded him, wrapping his arm around Varek’s shoulders and snuggling into him. “He has us now, and you know we make him happy. We’re going to keep making him happy. Today and every day after that.”

  Varek took a deep breath. Yes, Kylar had them now and they would try to soften whatever blows his father might throw. But would it be enough? Would he and Gable really be able to make up for the loss of Kylar’s family? No matter how optimistic Gable might be, Varek knew there was a damn good chance that Kylar’s family would shun him for his decision. “I really love him, Gable,” Varek whispered. “I never thought I would, at least not like this. But I do. The thought of him hurting…”

  “Makes you want to Change and rip whoever hurt him to shreds?” Gable finished, a smile in his voice.

  “Yeah. That’s it. Rip them up, pull out their insides and use their intestines to play jump rope.”

  Gable chuckled. “You
’re disgusting.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I know. Me too. We’re very lucky to have found him.”

  He was right. Varek knew that. He just wished he could shake the feeling that something awful was about to happen. He just wished Kylar would come home so they could touch him again.

  But it would be at least an hour or so before that happened. There was no way Kylar could be done with his family so quickly, was there?

  Suddenly, the sound of heavy breathing and feet on the tidy gravel drive outside the house drew their attention. Varek rose to his feet with Gable close behind him. It couldn’t be Kylar, could it? Varek looked at Gable and saw the same question in his eyes. They started toward the door just as it opened and Kylar walked in. They froze.

  Kylar looked awful. His hair was a mess, his dress shirt dripping with sweat and his face pink from exertion.

  But all of that was nothing compared to the wrecked look on his face, the mixture of pain, shock and anger mixing in his eyes. “Is it true?”

  Gable took a step forward but stopped when Kylar lifted a shaking hand. “Kylar, what happened? Do you want me to get you some water or—”

  “Is it true?”

  Varek looked at Gable, but Gable looked just as confused as he felt. “Is—”

  “Don’t do that! Don’t look at each other like that, trying to get your damn stories straight! Just tell me if it’s true or not. Just tell me.” Kylar’s voice was so raw, so thick with pain that it made Varek’s eyes sting. His meeting with his father must have been even worse than Varek had feared.

  “Come sit down,” Gable said again, reaching out to take Kylar’s hand. “We’ve been worried about you—”

  “Worried about me? Or worried that I would find out you were using me to gain your freedom? That you plotted to seduce me so you could be together and free?”

  Oh. Fuck. The blood seemed to drain from Varek’s body. He was suddenly icy cold, his eyes blurry, his legs weak. How had Kylar found out about that? How? When they’d never said a word to anyone but each other? Had Gable…

  Varek glanced at the shorter man but knew immediately that Gable had said nothing. Gable wanted this so much, even more than Varek had. At first. He never would have said anything to put their future—or Kylar’s heart—at risk. Gable loved Kylar, and so did Varek. But how to convince him of that now?

  The silence stretched on forever, so cold and scary Varek had to wrap his arms across his chest to keep from shaking. Kylar’s gaze went from Varek to Gable and back again, but no one said a word. Varek knew he was waiting for them to deny what he’d just said. But he also knew they couldn’t give him that denial. If nothing else, the man they both loved deserved the truth.

  After a few seconds that felt like hours, Gable spoke. “Kylar, it’s not like that. We love you, we really—”

  “You didn’t deny it.”

  “We love you,” Gable repeated.

  “You didn’t deny it.”

  Varek took a step forward. He wanted to take Kylar’s hand but somehow knew that if he tried Kylar would probably punch him in the face. So instead he just raised his own hands quietly into the air. “Come sit down, Kylar. Let us explain. Please.”

  Kylar shook his head and took a step back. “You used me. You were using me.”

  “No!” Gable’s voice echoed Varek’s. They spoke at almost the exact same time, then turned to look at each other in silent debate. Before they could decide who should go first Kylar’s voice cut in again.

  “See? Look at what you’re doing! You talk at the same time, you finish each other’s sentences! You love each other. You’re a couple. And you’ll never care about anyone the way you care about each other. It’s not possible. I wish I—”

  “What about Caleb, Kerrick and Mercy?” Varek asked. “Remember how happy they are, and how hopeful that made you? Triple matings—”

  “Caleb, Kerrick and Mercy are different,” Kylar spat. “Two men and a woman. At least there’s a relationship that has a biological point.” The words made Varek wince. He knew Kylar didn’t mean them. That was the sort of thing Kylar’s father would say. Kylar’s father… Varek winced. If he and Gable were responsible for turning Kylar into a junior version of Baron the Bastard, Varek knew he would never forgive himself.

  “And Mercy wasn’t using Caleb and Kerrick to gain her freedom,” Kylar continued. “She wasn’t pretending to love them so she could move out of the slave cabins!”

  “We didn’t pretend. We do love you. Please, can’t you see that? Don’t you love us too?” The pleading tone in Gable’s voice was almost too much for Varek. The pain on both of these beloved faces, the pain in their voices…he couldn’t stand it. How could this have happened?

  All he wanted to do was hold them both tight. All he wanted to do was take them both to bed. But that would probably never happen again. Just as that chilling realization sunk in Kylar spoke.

  “I think you two should leave.”

  “Kylar,” Gable said. “Please listen to us. Yes, we started out wanting a Pride-born warrior-mate to gain our freedom. But it was never about using anyone. We wanted a third to fall in love with, we wanted—”

  Kylar’s face went even redder. Varek had to force himself not to take a step back. Showing fear when Kylar was in this state would probably be a bad idea. “Just leave. Just get out. I never want to see you two again.”

  “Kylar, we love you,” Varek started, but he could see it was too late.

  “Get out!” Kylar yelled. “Get out or I’ll throw you out! Get the hell out of my house and my life.”

  Varek took one last glance around the living room, the room where the three of them had had such fun, such passion, such love. Would he ever see this room again? The painting above the fireplace was new, chosen by the three of them together. A symbol of their new life together. Now that would never happen. Tears filled his eyes. He’d probably cried more today than in the past ten years combined. He was a warrior, a fighter, but he was also a man who—until today—had believed that love could be as powerful as hate. The death of that belief, and knowing that Kylar’s bitter waste of a father had won the day, made him more vulnerable than he’d ever been before.

  “Come on, Gable,” he said, putting a hand on Gable’s shoulder. “We have to do what we’re told.”

  “I don’t want to! I want to stay.” Gable pulled in a deep breath that came out as a sob. “Please, Kylar, let me stay. Let me explain it to you, all of it, and how much we love and need you and—”

  Kylar gave a short, ugly laugh. “Yes, you certainly do need me. But you won’t have me. Go find some other Pride-born to use. I’m sure you’ll manage to seduce someone before the year’s out. Now get out of my house.”

  Before either of them could reply, Kylar stalked down the hallway to the bedroom and slammed the door shut. The sound of it echoed in Varek’s head like the pounding of a hammer, a hammer smashing his hopes and dreams and the love they’d shared into pieces.

  * * * * *

  The slave quarters had never seemed so small, so dingy and smelly and downright depressing. Gable felt like he could barely walk. His body was so heavy, his legs so weary. Varek seemed to feel the same way. They trudged down the long row between the bunks holding hands. Varek’s was cold, but his was even colder. Gable felt as if he’d never be warm or happy again.

  How could this have happened? How could they have lost Kylar?

  By unspoken agreement he and Varek walked to Gable’s bed and collapsed on it together. Varek lay down and pulled Gable’s back to his front, spooning him from behind. Gable clutched at Varek’s arms, holding on tight, and entwined his legs with Varek’s. They lay still for what felt like hours. The entire time, there was only one thought that kept running through Gable’s head.

  “We hurt him,” Gable whispered. “Oh God, Varek, we hurt him so much. And we can’t help him because it’s our fault…” He bit his lip and tried his best not to start crying. If he sta
rted, he was afraid he’d never stop. “We didn’t want him to be alone and now he’s more alone than ever.”

  “I know.” Varek sounded choked. Gable imagined he had a lump in his throat too. “It’s not just that we lost him. It’s how… it’s how much we hurt him.”

  The truth was too much to hold inside him with a stiff upper lip. Gable started to cry, silent tears that flowed down his cheeks. His whole body ached. Kylar felt betrayed and alone and it was his fault. This whole thing had been his idea. Varek would never have tried something like this on his own.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Through his tears Gable saw a familiar figure standing near the bed. It was Job, who bunked across from him. Gable sniffed and swiped at his nose. “Job, can you give us a few minutes? This isn’t really a good time.”

  “I know.” Job sat down on his bunk. “I know it isn’t, and that’s my fault. I’m so sorry. He made me tell him. I couldn’t say no. But he didn’t let me explain it right, he didn’t—”

  “What?” Gable lay very still, even as dread crept quickly beneath his skin. “What are you talking about?”

  “Baron Grossman,” Job said. “He came here asking questions. He said if we didn’t tell the truth he’d have us killed. I told him what I’d heard, about you and Varek planning to seduce Kylar so you could be free.” Job’s anguished face broke Gable’s heart even more. “But he didn’t let me tell him the rest, about how many times you’ve both said you loved Kylar. He made me stop, and Kylar looked so…sick. He obviously loved you both…very much.”

  Behind Gable, Varek sat up. “Wait. You told Baron? You told Kylar?”

  “He made me,” Job said, shrinking away. Varek could be pretty terrifying when he was angry. “He said he’d have me killed if I didn’t tell. Me and Hendricks both.”

  Gable sat and slid his feet to the floor. So that was it. That was how Kylar had found out. That was what Baron had done to his own child, fed him half truths just to break Kylar’s heart. He’d probably laughed afterward. Anything that hurt others seemed to make Sire Baron very, very happy. It was part of the reason Gable had been so certain Kylar would be better off with him and Varek. Screw Kylar’s family. They might be his by blood, but he and Varek were Kylar’s by heart, by choice, by love.