—too quickly, as it hit the ninety degree limit on its hinges and the vertebrae jerked loose, dropping the cage door closed again on the almost-free Pequod. It slammed shut on his outraged nose, causing him to hiss promises of violent death at goblins, sewers, stinky cages, and possibly the rest of the universe too, just for good measure.
“...has lotsa bones, don’t see what Shaman needs MORE for, anyway, greedy goblin...”
“Quiet! You hear something?”
“Yeah, probably something mad about waiting to turn into bones.”
“Maybe we should go eat—err, I mean ‘look’.”
“What if it’s that hell-cat again?”
“Oh, yeah... maybe we should wait some more.”
The spring-loaded latches that had once prevented it from opening now prevented it from properly closing. I darted forward and lifted the heavy door (properly, with my real hands and not the glove projections), and this time Pequod didn’t wait to be shut in a final time. As soon as the door was up, he launched himself forward onto the soft, elevated pedestal conveniently placed at the opening to his cage—which happened to be my face.
Pequod’s momentum shoved us both back, and my heels stumbled in the gutter as I tried to wrestle a face-full of cat into some more manageable position, such as the floor, but he wasn’t having any of it. He sunk his claws into my shoulders and head and yowled like a demon while I overbalanced and did a much abbreviated Backwards Waterfall into the row of cages behind me, which shuddered, slipped, and came down with a clatter of bones and bars.
“THAT not a cat!”
“Uh oh, if we lose any pieces, we’re dead!”
“Maybe it’s a—look! Squishy skin!”
Half a dozen unfamiliar goblins came hopping down the corridor parallel to Pequod’s cage. They were larger than the little grey goblins I had seen in the upper sewers and their pebbled skin had the beginnings of green tabby-like markings in it.
I stood to face them. Or tried to, anyway, my intimidation factor somewhat hampered by a huge, once-white cat who weighed half as much as I did and had attached himself to my shoulders and upper back with the determination of a gila monster.
The goblins and I stared at each other for a moment, sizing up the situation, and came to the conclusion at about the same moment that I was outnumbered, outmassed, and none of the katas I knew included a headful of cat, except of course for Backwards Waterfall. Uh oh indeed.
The lead goblin opened its mouth and snapped out its long, prehensile tongue. The sticky mass flashed forward at us, and, unable to dodge, I threw my hand in front of my face and caught the tongue by reflex. I then instantly let go, or tried to, but my fingers were encased in the gluey saliva... I braced my feet against the recoil, but when the goblin’s elastic tongue snapped back, it took with it only my glove, leaving my bare hand poised as if I were casting a spell. The goblin had also braced for a much heavier tug-of-war, and, overcompensating, fell back into the rest of the crew behind it and swallowed the glove with a surprised “ulp!”.
I took the opening, turned on one sandaled heel, and ran, bent over at the waist to accommodate the heavy weight of Pequod, who pivoted on my back to face the pursuing goblins, hissing and spitting his displeasure while he kneaded me with his claws and wrapped a fox-like tail around my face for added leverage. I pulled the strands of hair clear of my goggles and did my best to keep upright. The Talarian Sandals added spring to my step as I jumped broken cages and dodged amongst ankle-breaking bones, trying to keep a wall of cages or anything else between me and the tongue-lassos behind me. Jump, land (don’t slip on a femur), dodge for cover. Jump, land, don’t-slip, cover. Jump, land, don’t-slip, cover! Must go faster!
I made it to the cylindrical door, dodged through and behind it, and gave it a mighty heave to swing it shut, but it didn’t budge.
[Strength check: Failed (-4 penalty due to Encumbrance)]
There wasn’t time to try again. I’d gained a small lead on the goblins, but they were closing fast. Must go faster!
I bolted downstream, pulling out my lit dagger to see by, hoping the goblins would be too afraid to abandon their bone-farming task, but no such luck. I fled, they chased. Downstream, through the rocky tunnel, past the mushrooms, until the waterfall poured away beneath me into the sparkling grotto. I slid to a stop at the very edge of the tunnel.
There was nowhere else to run.
I looked down the sparking shaft beneath me, as the dark and distant water, and then back at the goblins just coming into the glow of my dagger. One of them launched a tongue at me, which I deflected again at the cost of the other glove. Pequod yowled like a mad thing.