A few days ago, I’d cracked that stubborn page, which had opened up far more than I’d expected. I’d thought I was almost done, but now I wasn’t so sure.
Worse, I’d come across Sierra’s and Laia’s names in his notes. Sierra, especially, seemed to infuriate Orion. He’d written a nasty amount of things about her and the “half-breed” who’d pretended she could fire a gun. That was a strange thing. Guns had infamously stopped working around shifters, and most people had resigned themselves to it. Orion had not.
There was something else that didn’t make sense, either.
Shadow-dweller, can she see them? The secrets? Invisible, deal with the devil, devils.
Secret-eater, Unseen, fears the pure elements.
Then there had been words in Arabic, which translated to, swallow the secret and behold the unseen, followed by a string of gibberish or language Orion had made up, a mix of Arabic and Latin.
“Dal hoc, vasiri arcanstrum,” I said out loud slowly. Suddenly, my throat burned, and I coughed, eyes streaming. When I got my breath back, I found myself overheating again.
Getting up, I went and pulled on boots and a jacket, then one of Kal’s hats. Instead of going out the front door, which Kal would hear, I snuck out the side door and into the crystal-like dawn.
The urge to run was growing in me, an almost primal panic, and I kept glancing over my shoulder, feeling watched. My feet slipped as I walked away from the house, trying to gather my thoughts. I found myself thinking of my mother and brother, of Tiani, who’d left me behind. The unbroken chain of lonely days before and after the Rift. The fragile bond between Kal and me.
My unrequited feelings. All my stupid hopes and dark fears.
Suddenly, I found myself near the river that ran behind Kal’s house, churning and swollen from the snow. It hissed and steamed around the rocks. Closing my eyes, I tried to listen to it and not the gnawing around my heart.
Putting a hand to my forehead, I thought of going to Kal and shook my head. No, I couldn’t burden him, I couldn’t ask him…he’d find out. “He can’t find out.”
He will.
I whirled around, my heart slamming so fast I thought it would break a rib. “What…?”
What was that? Had someone spoken?
So many burdens, unshared and swallowed deep. Unspoken by the unwanted one.
Adrenaline and fear cleared my head. Hallucinations? Or Excris? Another breach? My breath was coming in sharp, panting bursts, and I took a step back, only to realize the river was at my back.
What the hell was I doing out here? Why had I left the damn house?
Give us your fears, Secret-Keeper—we will keep them. You could satisfy us for an age…
“Who the hell are you?” I shouted and seized a sturdy branch.
There was an uneasy muttering, and I cast my eyes around. Nothing there, invisible.
“Secrets…” I breathed and choked out, “Dal hoc, vasiri arcanstrum!” Immediately, I coughed again, but it was lesser this time. The air rippled, and I forced myself to say it again. Three was usually the magic number. Then the branch fell from my nerveless fingers as I screamed.
Three horrifying, misshapen creatures had appeared, less than three feet away, hunched and curious, with a single black and insectile eye set in each of their heads. Their bodies were contorted and strange, with lines of words wrapping around their pale flesh. A slash of a mouth was set under each of their flat nostrils and sewn together with heavy black thread. No hands—instead, six hooked, spider-like limbs jutting out from their ribs.
“Kal! Kal, where are you?”
I wasn’t sure if I screamed or thought those words, but the creatures narrowed their gaze at me. I couldn’t breathe, and fear clawed its way through my chest. Followed by a crippling loneliness so great, I thought I might have gotten lost in some corner of the universe with no hope of getting home. But dimly, in the back of my mind, I thought I heard Kal’s voice.
It was enough to snap me awake, and I dodged as a hooked arm spun out at me. But it caught my side, and I slipped, plunging into the river. My scream was cut off by the water and the cold.
A bone-deep, shocking cold that burned across my skin as I burst to the surface and choked for air. I tried to swim, but the current was too swift and swept me down, knocking me against rocks and plunging me down into the depths.
Numbness spread through my veins, and my panic increased until suddenly I went down, plunging deeply, and then surged back up, my feet finding purchase. With a gasp, I staggered upright and let out a cry of agony at the cold. Teeth chattering, bones rattling, I sloshed towards the shore, and then those creatures reappeared.
I stopped and gasped as they waited. Turning, shivering, I saw there were three on the other side. Anger boiled up in me, and I kicked out, sending a spray of water towards them. They hissed and babbled, drawing back, eyeing the water with distaste.
“P-pure el-elements,” I murmured and kicked again.
But my strength was failing, and I was shaking with cold, struggling to keep my eyes open.
“No,” I gasped, and my chest ached. “Kal, please, help…”
You are alone, Iris Lisay.
“No, no, not again,” I said, and a scream built in my throat, but I couldn’t open my lips.
A burden, unwanted, alone, no use…what is the point, child? Come to us, let us ease your suffering. Dear little Secret-Keeper, it is the end. You will not unravel our plans.
The water was rising around me, and I couldn’t move, could barely breathe. I thought I heard something, but it was all a dream. There was nothing here. No one.
My eyes fluttered shut, and the cold receded. I was drifting away.
And no one would know I was gone.
I would!
The shout was from a distance, desperate and deep.
Iris, I would! Wake up. Open your damn eyes!
Something wouldn’t let me go—something had stopped me and was tugging me back.
Iris, please, please come back.
A big thumb brushed the corner of my mouth, and my eyes flew open to a rush of color, sound, and agony. I was standing knee-deep in icy water as though pinned there, with Kal staring down at me, wild-eyed and soaked to the bone, his hands clutching my face.
“Iris?”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kal
Sometime earlier
I jolted awake out of a nightmare of darkness and the ice-cold rush of water. Rubbing my chest around to my neck, the expanse of warm and dry skin did not reassure me. A strange weight had lodged inside of me and dragged me down.
What was worse was that I’d felt this weight before. I wasn’t sure when, or what it meant. I only had the vague sense that before, it hadn’t been as acute or desperate.
Shaking my head, I got up and dressed, mechanically, trying to bring my mind to the tasks of the day. Xander needed to see me at some point and…
“Kal!”
“Iris.” I whirled around, and my heart began to pound. No one was there. “What—” I tore out of my room and down the hall, not certain how I’d heard her so clearly, as though she’d been standing next to me. And there was a note in her voice that worsened the hum of desperation in my bones. “Iris?”
“Kal, where are you?”
I almost broke the doorknob as I flung open the door to her room. “Iris!”
It was empty.
Terror broke over me in a wave, and I was running, pounding down the stairs and following her scent outside into the cold morning. Her name left my lips in a hoarse shout. But I knew she wasn’t close by; she was—
I grabbed my chest and went down on one knee as an ice-cold spear drove through me. The shock of a winter river, burning and numbing the skin, sapping life in thirsty gulps. I knew it, and yet I was completely dry.
Iris.
Somewhere, not close but not far, she was on the brink of death.
It hit me like a crashing wave and propelled me to my feet. This wa
s the same, strange knowing I’d had all those weeks ago. The faint pull I’d followed against my will.
Now I threw myself into it and ran out of the house. Outside, I shifted, charging to the river and diving in. My size allowed me to swim and run, churning through the miles to her.
I didn’t stop to think or process it.
Iris was slipping away with every moment, and I could feel it, like razor-thin wires strangling my heart. If she was gone, I’d slip into darkness as well, and Winfyre would be lost.
Anger and frustration snarled through me. Such stupid arrogance to think it a weakness, when really it was fear. And how humbling to realize that only now, as her life flickered, a guttering candle in my mind.
Only when she was slipping over the edge, did she finally break down and call out for help, though. Her stubbornness was of a different sort, the desire not to take up room or cause trouble. Her fears were lonely ones and mirrored mine in strange ways.
We’d have words about that later because there was no way in hell she was dying on me.
With a final burst of speed, I charged down the river and came to a bend past a tumble of water where the river pooled and slowed. Standing there, staring at nothing and arms wrapped around herself, knee-deep in water and as white as snow, was Iris.
Shock shifted me back, and I sloshed through the water, grabbing her. She didn’t react, didn’t even seem to see me as I stared at her. The pupils of her eyes were dilated, and her breath was coming in short, painful bursts, her lips pressed into a painful white line.
“Iris.”
My voice cracked. She was as cold as death.
I tried to pull her away, to pick her up, but I couldn’t. The foulness of Excris black magic snarled around her. She was being killed by the river’s teeth and those demons. My hands were shaking, and the cold was starting to get to me. I lifted a hand and went to touch her when I stopped.
It was covered in blood, ruby-bright and shining in the sunlight as though mocking me.
“Iris, snap out of it!” I shouted and grabbed her face. I could see the wound seeping blood on her side. She was still alive, but barely. Everything fell away, and I was nothing but a raw nerve, staring into the face of a woman trapped in a nightmare. “Iris…no, no, this…”
I cast my gaze around wildly. We were alone. How were they doing this to her? Again, I tried to pick her up, lift her, or move her, but it didn’t work. She was rooted there by some fell magic I couldn’t pierce. All I could do was stand there and watch her die.
“No,” I snarled. “Iris, you are stronger than this. Do you hear me?”
She blinked, and my heart leaped, but then her eyes fell closed, as though she were falling asleep. The anguish in my head reached a high, screaming whine, and a pained gasp escaped me. My hands cupped her face, and I was shaking, my mind blank with fear.
“No one would know I was gone,” Iris suddenly murmured.
“I would!” I all but shouted, my voice desperate and raw. “Iris, I would! Wake up,” I begged. “Open your damn eyes.”
Iris seemed to stir, as though hearing me. No, she’d heard me. I could call her back.
My hands took on a life of their own. Fingers dug into her wet hair, and thumbs traced her cheekbones. "Iris," I rasped, staring down at her and willing her to open her eyes. "Please.” Maybe I had no right to ask this, but I couldn’t lose her. The world couldn’t lose her. “Please come back.”
A thumb slipped over the corner of her mouth, and Iris pulled in a sharp breath, her eyes flying open and meeting mine. The shadows fell away at that moment.
But I couldn’t move. I couldn’t believe it had worked.
“Iris?” My voice was a ragged whisper.
“Kal,” she breathed, and sagged. Whatever had held her in place was falling away, and I held her upright as she grabbed at my shirt. “Kal, listen to me.” A hiss of pain went through her clenched teeth, and her eyes darted from side to side. “They’re still here. Pure elements can stop…”
“What?” I followed her gaze to a point on the riverbank. Nothing but white tracts of snow and fitful sunlight. “Iris, I need to get you home. What are you talking about?”
“No, they’re here—they can taste your fears. Don’t let them…” Her fingers tightened, and she let out another hiss of pain. “Say this out loud three times.” Suddenly, her lips went tight as though something were keeping her quiet, and my senses prickled, but I couldn’t pinpoint it.
Xander, I roared in my head, and I sensed my pack’s alarm. Luke was closest. Luke.
Kal, what—?
I need you. I flashed the river at them. Now.
Wrenching her lips apart, she gasped out, “Dal hoc, vasiri arcanstrum. Three times, dammit!”
There was a dark purpose to those words, but I obeyed, and the chant burned my throat as I forced it out. When I finished, my eyes went wide as I saw the creatures on the banks.
“I am going to destroy every last one of you,” I promised, my voice a savage whisper.
Our work here is almost done. The creatures leered at me, single eyes blinking and stitched mouths curving upward. You did not make it in time, Ice Bear.
“Yes, yes, he did,” Iris gasped and slid down. I picked her up and held her against me. “I’m so-sorry, Kal, I ho-hope it’s enough—to figure out the rest of his book.”
“To hell with the book,” I snarled.
Never know what you have until you lose it, do you, Bear?
“Do-don’t listen,” Iris chattered, and I started towards the shore. I’d tear them to pieces. The creatures seemed to light up with anticipation and poised themselves with long claws outstretched. “No, it won’t work. P-pure elements.”
Quiet, Secret-Eater. We’ve disposed of you.
“Kal, I…" Iris lifted a hand, and then it fell against my chest, her eyes closing. She went boneless in my arms, and I automatically picked her up. My fingers tapping on her cheek got no response, and when I found her throat, there was no pulse.
She was gone.
A curious sense of detachment came over me as horror yawned through me.
“No,” I whispered.
In my mind, I reached out to Xander again, and in a flash, I sensed his understanding. He was already on his way. There was a rush of wind, and I turned, cupping Iris tightly against me as a blast of fire hit the bank. The creatures let out a shriek that was quickly lost in the blaze.
Then it was smoldering, and Xander was in the center of a blackened, smoking ruin, rising to his feet. Luke was on the other side, the words burning his throat as he circled the others and drove them into the river.
I went to walk to Xander, but he was already there.
For the first time in years, as he gripped my arms and met my eyes, I let him read more than the surface of my memories. He looked down at the unconscious woman in my arms, and his jaw went tight. There was a swirl of space, and we were back in Iris's bedroom, Beylore already there.
“I lost her,” I said and crashed to my knees, holding her against me. A howl of misery and shattered hopes choked my throat, fighting to get free. “There’s nothing…”
“Shut up,” Beylore said and grabbed me roughly by the shoulder. “She’s not gone.”
“What?” I asked.
“I’ll get Rogda,” Xander said, and I heard him leave.
“Deena!” Beylore shouted, and the girl came into the room, bemused. Then alarmed.
“Oh no,” she breathed as she crouched and drifted hands over the form in my arms.
“What is it?” I asked. Everything was such a mess inside of me, I couldn’t quite sense up from down or life from death. A pinprick of hope blossomed in the darkness. “Can you save her?”
“This isn’t like anything else I’ve ever sensed,” Beylore said grimly. “Kallen Deacon, for the love of the spirits, get your ass up and get her into bed. Rogda.”
Rogda was there, along with Xander, and her face went ashen when she saw me, a gnarled hand reaching
for my face. “Oh, Kallen,” she said, and her voice was strained in her throat. “Oh, no.”
“Iris isn’t dead yet!” Beylore snapped. “Rogda, get her undressed and dried off, and into light, warm clothes. Start massaging her to get the blood flowing. Alex, get him clean and warm, too.”
Rogda shot Xander a look as he dragged me out of the room, still reeling. He gripped my arms and then let out a surprised sound as I embraced him.
“Thank you,” I said. “And I’m sorry.”
Xander thumped me on the back. "My brother," he said in a mock-light tone, with emotion reverberating underneath. "When will you learn you never have to apologize to me?" We broke apart, and he gave me a tight smile. "Go get yourself washed up and warm."
I hesitated, glancing at the door and feeling helpless. My worst fear was this. Standing outside of something, all my skills as a warrior and protector of no use.
“I’ll stay here,” Xander said and then glanced down at himself. “Although I think I need to change now, too.” His face softened, as I must have looked as devastated as I felt. “Don’t worry. Lor can dry me off. And she won’t let your Iris die.”
Chapter Thirty
Kal
Pacing downstairs, I went from the study, where several members of the Coven were now ensconced, to the living room, to the kitchen. More than once, I heard them exclaim over Iris’s handiwork, which was apparently above and beyond what they’d been expecting.
For hours, Iris had hovered on the edge of death. Rogda and Beylore had healed the hypothermia and physical injuries, save one. The wound on her side continued to bleed, albeit more slowly and steadily. It was some dark magic they couldn't fathom and some poison that was eating through her. Now the only hope, ironically, lay in Orion's book and Iris's translation.
I dug my hands through my hair and went into the kitchen. Just last night, Iris had stood here, flushed and flustered, in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. I’d thought I’d be teasing her about that today—not praying that she wouldn’t succumb to a breed of Excris we’d never encountered before.
Ice Bear's Bid (Northbane Shifters Book 4) Page 23