by Annie Rains
Then it was someone else’s turn to talk. By the time Krista arrived home, she was depleted. She crawled under her covers and was just about to doze off when her phone buzzed beside her with an incoming text. She’d forgotten to mute it so that she could sleep.
She blinked herself awake, fumbled for her phone on the nightstand, and pulled it to her.
SOS.
The text was from Joey. She hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t home when she’d arrived. But now that she thought of it, the house had been quiet. He was usually snacking in the kitchen or snoring on the couch in front of the TV.
What’s wrong? she texted back.
I’m stranded on the docks. Thought the cab was ready, but she’s not.
Krista forced herself upright. Joey had saved her butt a million times, so she owed him.
Be right there, she typed. Then she dressed and left to go get him.
—
Noah wasn’t staying at Jack’s house tonight as planned. He didn’t care if he had to take a cold shower. A cold shower was welcome if it numbed his body and his shattered emotions.
Insomnia pried him out of bed for the second night in a row. Even Beauty was sleeping down on the floor. He thought about waking her to take her for a walk, but decided to go it alone this time. The wind off the ocean pressed against his fall jacket as he walked the boardwalk, the temperature matching the one of his heart. Frigid. He felt cold and void without Krista’s warmth. Well, he better get used to it because she was out of his life. He hadn’t texted her, but he’d hoped like hell every time he checked his phone that she’d texted or called him. He guessed it was pride keeping him from contacting her, but it was also out of respect for what she’d told him she wanted. She wanted their relationship to be over because she didn’t believe he could be what she needed. She believed dating him was a waste of her time. That realization hurt like a bullet tearing through his flesh.
He picked up his pace as he walked, trying to keep warm because he wasn’t ready to head home just yet. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Hope sprang like an angel’s light over his dark mood as he pulled it out.
Gina Mandeen’s name flashed onscreen.
His dark mood returned with thunder and lightning this time, but he answered anyway. “Hey, Gina.”
“Hi, there. I hope it’s not too late to call,” his real-estate agent said.
Noah checked his watch. It was almost ten. “Not at all. What’s up?”
“The O’Hares accepted your offer on the house!” she squealed.
Noah stopped walking and turned to face the water. “They did?”
“Don’t sound so surprised.” She laughed. “That place has been for sale for months. We knew you’d get it. Just didn’t know you’d get it at such a steal.”
“Wow.”
His tone of voice must not have matched his exclamation because Gina laughed again. “This is good news, Noah. Go out and celebrate! You own a house now!”
“Yeah. Thanks,” he said, his tone still flat.
He and Gina made plans to talk the next day and then hung up. He was happy about the house. Buying it wasn’t dependent on being together with Krista. It just would’ve been sweeter if he were. He walked a few more blocks and was just about to turn back when he saw her from the corner of his eye. Over the last several days he’d thought he’d seen Krista more than once. It was a symptom of his broken heart, he guessed. This time, as he did a double take, he realized it really was her. She was standing on the other side of the street between her car and Joey’s cab. Joey closed his hood and shook his head, then walked around to get in the passenger side of Krista’s car.
She headed toward her driver’s side, but then stopped and for some reason she looked over to exactly where Noah was standing. Her body stiffened as she realized that it was him. For a moment, Noah didn’t know what to do. Did he wave? Were they on friendly terms? Did he step over and see if he could help? Did he turn and head in the opposite direction because she put the brakes on in their relationship when it couldn’t have been going better? When he was absolutely sure that he could never love anyone else as much as he loved her.
Krista made the decision for him by quickly looking away and ducking inside her car. So that’s how it was going to be between them now. They couldn’t even share space, just like Abby and Sam. This was exactly what he’d always feared in dating his best friend, the absolute worst thing he could imagine. He’d lost her. For good.
Turning, he headed home—not his forever home anymore. Soon he’d be moving somewhere with an actual foundation. Somewhere with lots of room. With hot water. With a fishing pier in the backyard. He wished more than anything he could call up his best friend and tell her the good news. Man’s best friend would have to do tonight, except Beauty was still sleeping as he entered his houseboat. So instead, he grabbed a beer and headed to his lawn chair on the front of the boat to toast his new endeavor, alone.
—
“It was nice seeing you with someone at Thanksgiving,” Krista’s mom said, opening the conversation.
Krista’s stomach soured. She absolutely did not want to talk about Noah with her mother. It’d been a long time since she’d brought someone home and the relationship had already crumbled. “Yep.” Krista kept moving, making her mom work to keep up with her as they shopped. Krista hadn’t been able to go shopping when all the good sales were going on during Black Friday because she’d been working at the hospital. She liked to get her Christmas shopping done early, though, before all the good stuff disappeared off the shelves and she was stuck giving crappy gifts. “Do you think Dad will like this?” Krista pulled an ugly sweater in front of her. There was a picture of a man golfing on the front.
Her mother frowned. “Your father doesn’t golf. And you’re working hard to change the topic. Did you and Noah have a fight?”
“Not really,” Krista said, placing the sweater back on the rack.
“So everything is okay with you two?” Her mother smiled, which Krista found curious. Had her mom liked the idea of her dating Noah? Not that it mattered anymore.
“No. Actually, we broke up,” Krista said, then turned and started walking fast again.
“Krista…” Her mom was shorter and therefore was nearly running in the aisle to keep up. “What happened? You two have always been so close. I thought that this was finally it. That Noah was the one.”
Krista turned. “The one? Why would you think that?”
“Well, because he’s the reason you’ve never gotten serious with all the others, right?”
“No. No, of course not. I just never clicked with the other guys I’ve dated. Few as they were.”
“So you’re saying you didn’t click with Noah?” her mom asked. “Because you sure looked like you were clicking on Thanksgiving Day.”
“We click. We just…he’s just…” Krista shook her head. “Noah isn’t the kind of guy who marries and has kids, okay? He’s never going to have a white picket fence. I can do without the fence, but not the other stuff. It’s just not meant to be.”
Her mom’s eyes slanted sympathetically. “Are you sure?”
Krista thought of what she’d overheard at Grace and Jack’s wedding. If she hadn’t been sure of that fact before, that piece of information had solidified her sureness. “I am. And that’s okay.” Krista’s shoulders bounced as if this was no big deal. “It’s fine.”
“Aww, honey.” Her mother wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in for a big hug, which in turn made Krista want to fall apart. The truth was, she wasn’t okay without Noah. She missed him. She ached for him and she feared that she always would.
Krista pulled back and sniffled, a lump steadily rising in her throat. She directed her attention back to shopping. “Okay, let’s do this. Christmas is only a month away.”
She bought presents for her father, Joey, her coworkers, and little Adam, who Karen was actually right about—Krista had gotten way too attached. But that’s who she was. Why fight it? She loved attachi
ng herself to her pediatric patients. She loved helping their caregivers. The only part of her job she didn’t love, the part that she hated, was the paperwork. She also realized she hadn’t loved standing in for Karen when she’d been out. She was good at resolving conflict, but she didn’t want that to be her everyday job.
After shopping, Krista and her mom had lunch and then Krista stopped at the pharmacy before heading home. She walked through all the aisles to make sure no one she knew was in the store and then she lifted a pregnancy test and dropped it into her basket with shaky hands. She paid, avoiding the clerk’s curious look—or maybe that was just her being paranoid. Then she drove home, set the test on her counter, and stared at the pink and blue box. She’d never had to take one of these in all of her near twenty-nine years. She’d always been responsible when it came to sex because there was too much at stake not to be. The condom breaking was a fluke. She’d had friends that it had happened to, and none of them had ever gotten pregnant because of it. She and Noah probably hadn’t, either. There was still a question in her mind, though. She’d had a rolling nausea ever since Grace and Jack’s wedding. Nothing that pushed her into bed like it had that night. And maybe it was all in her head. Maybe her worry and excitement—because she would be excited if she were pregnant even if Noah chose not to be in the picture—had her stomach tightening.
She held the box with a shaky hand and read the directions, which couldn’t be more simple. Pee on the stick and wait to see a plus or a minus. Wait to see if her world was irrevocably changed forever.
“You can do this, Krista.” She pulled a deep breath into her lungs. Exhaled. Took another breath. Then another, until she was nearly hyperventilating. Then her phone lit on the counter beside the box and Abby’s name popped up on the screen.
“Hello,” Krista said shakily, grateful for the distraction.
“Are you okay?” Abby asked.
“Yes.” Krista’s voice cracked.
“I was just cooking and you popped into my brain and I couldn’t get you out. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Krista started to say yes again. Because she was strong and just fine. She took care of everyone else, not vice versa. But having people to talk to at the caregiver support group the other night had felt good. It’d felt good to lean on others. It was something she rarely did, but needed to do more of, she decided. “Actually, no. I’m the opposite of okay. Can you come over?”
“Turning my kitchen over to my sous-chefs. I’ll be right there.”
Ten minutes later, Abby was sitting across the kitchen counter and staring at the box with Krista.
“Have you told Noah yet?” Abby asked.
Krista shook her head and took another deep breath. She was seriously considering pulling out a brown paper bag to breathe into. “I don’t want to freak him out over nothing. If it’s nothing.”
Abby smiled softly. “You don’t know that he’d freak out.”
“You know about his ex in college, right?”
“Yeah.” She gave an apologetic look. “That was back when Sam told me everything. There were no secrets between us.”
It was Krista’s turn to offer an apologetic look. She wasn’t exactly sure what had happened between Abby and Sam, but she guessed that loving a Sawyer man was complicated.
Krista sighed. “He ran for the hills just as soon as he realized it was only a scare. He was off the hook. He’s finally settled here. He’s captain of the Summerly and working with Joey. He’s happy.”
“He was happier than I’ve ever seen him when he was with you,” Abby said. She reached over and squeezed Krista’s hand. “You two are good together. You can’t discard him without giving him a chance to prove himself one way or the other.”
“Everyone always tells me that I need to take care of myself. I work so hard taking care of everyone else. My friends, my family, my patients. Well, maybe this is me taking care of myself. I know Noah. I know what he wants out of life and it doesn’t match what I want. So I’m putting myself first for once.”
Abby nodded. “Okay. Well, what if you’re pregnant? You’ll have to tell him.”
Krista’s chest tightened. It felt as if she were being fitted with one of those garments that brides wore under their dresses to make them two sizes smaller. “If I’m pregnant, then I’ll tell him. And I’ll watch him run.”
Chapter 22
Noah had set out early this morning. It was Sunday, not a company work day, so it was just him. Joey was probably tinkering on his cab. Noah hadn’t had any intention of fishing, but the water was so smooth and clear, and little fish kept jumping at the surface as if trying to get away from something bigger below. What’s down there?
He lowered the bill of his hat to keep his cheeks from burning. Even though the air was chilly these days, the sun was still hot if you weren’t in motion. He set his fishing rig and dropped a line into the water. Beauty propped her feet up on the bench of the boat and looked out. She barked as another little fish cleared the water.
“Shh, girl. Gotta be quiet, remember?”
They waited. Noah wasn’t really expecting to catch anything today. Hauling in a big fish would be near impossible without another person anyway. He’d done it before, but it’d taken twice as long. Not that he had anything else to do. He was supposed to meet Gina at the real-estate office to sign the papers for his new home, but she’d had a family emergency. So they’d arranged to get together later in the week. Then he would officially be a home owner.
Noah’s heart kicked excitedly. Then the fishing line jerked. His heart kicked again for a different reason. Straightening, he grabbed the gear and started winding. Handling a rig was kind of like a dance. He let the fish below lead and when it tired, he wound the gear again, stopped and let the fish push and pull, push and pull. They continued that way for nearly an hour. This fish was a fighter, but he was going to win. He needed to win today.
Finally, the rig pulled the fish out of the water. His heart jumped in his throat like one of those small fish in the water. There, shimmering in the sun’s light was a heart-shaped scar on the tuna’s dorsal fin.
Mitsy.
He had Mitsy on the line, and she hadn’t broken free. He’d caught her! She was his!
Noah suddenly felt like dancing around the front of the boat, like a little child excited beyond belief. That moment passed quickly, though, and he looked at the fish with new eyes. Mitsy had fought him tirelessly. She’d fought for her freedom, and she deserved to be set free. She’d earned a free pass in his book.
Beauty barked at his side as if in agreement.
Krista had always been a catch-and-release kind of girl on the boat, and apparently in their relationship, too. She’d caught him, hook, line, and sinker, and then she’d tossed him back, finding him unworthy. It was his own fault. The guy he’d been up until now wasn’t a keeper. Apparently, he still wasn’t.
Noah steered the rig close to the boat to work on freeing Mitsy. “Enjoy your freedom, girl.” He pulled his cellphone out to snap a picture just to prove to his brothers and Joey that he wasn’t crazy. There really was a fucking heart-shaped scar on her fin. A perfect heart. He snapped the picture, slid the phone back in his pocket, then released Mitsy back into the Atlantic.
Returning to Blushing Bay later that afternoon, he docked and took Beauty home. He unleashed her as he stepped inside his houseboat, then something shiny on the rug caught his eye. He bent and looked at the golden fishhook that he’d given Krista when they were kids. It was twisted into a shape almost identical to the one on Mitsy’s fin, and if Noah was the kind to believe in magic, he’d think that Mitsy had somehow made this charm appear when he and Krista had already searched this place from top to bottom along with every other place they’d been together.
He picked the charm up. Krista had worn this thing tirelessly. She’d paid all the money in her piggy bank to have this ugly thing coated in gold. Why would she do that?
He knew the answer. It was the same rea
son he’d given her his lucky hook. The same reason he’d been terrified when he’d thought his college girlfriend was pregnant. And why he’d left college and come running home. He wasn’t running home to Blushing Bay or to his family’s fishing business. He was coming home to Krista. Because he loved her. Loved her so much that he didn’t want to be anywhere except with her. She was what anchored him to this world. She was his lucky hook and, dammit, he didn’t want to let her go. Not without a fight. He could be the man she needed him to be. He could be everything she wanted and more. If she’d let him.
He placed the charm in his pocket and grabbed his jacket to go find Krista and put this thing back around her neck where it belonged. Then he planned on kissing her until her knees melted and telling her that he loved her. He planned on making her believe it because there was nothing truer in his life.
Noah opened his front door and nearly walked straight into Joey. “Hey, man. Bad timing. I have to go.”
“Did you knock up my sister?” Joey asked, a hard edge to his voice.
Beauty barked behind them.
“What?” Noah narrowed his eyes. He was already breathless from the day. It took a moment to process what Joey was asking.
“Is that why you two broke up? Why she’s been so upset lately? You knocked her up and then left her?” Joey stepped closer to Noah, and if Noah didn’t know better, he’d think he was about to get punched square in the face.
“What are you talking about? Is Krista…?” Noah’s heart flew to the heavens at the thought. “Is she pregnant?”
Joey’s brows dropped over his dark eyes. “You didn’t know?”
Noah shook his head. “Know what? Is she pregnant?” he asked again.
Joey took a step backward. “I’m not sure. I just found the box in the trashcan. I didn’t see any stick. But she’s been acting crazy and crying at night. I thought it was because she missed you, but maybe it’s because…”
“She’s pregnant.” A smile so big and wide enveloped Noah’s heart. Excitement bloomed bigger and brighter than it ever had catching any fish. There wasn’t a shade of doubt or fear, only joy at the prospect. “I have to find her.”