Oppressed

by Kira Saito

  OPPRESSED

  An Arelia LaRue Novel #4

  Copyright 2012

  Smashwords Edition

  by

  Kira Saito

  For those who die young and unexpectedly.

  Don't let them fool ya,

  Or even try to school ya! Oh, no!

  We've got a mind of our own,

  So go to hell if what you're thinking is not right!

  Love would never leave us alone,

  A-yin the darkness there must come out to light.

  -Bob Marley

  When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always.

  Mahatma Gandhi

  Chapter One

  The Funeral

  A wicked wind combed through my long hair, while the stars above me floated against a pale violet sky that had been just abandoned by an angry sun. The humid summer air was oblivious to my despair as I sat there half- paralyzed, reluctant to move, breathe, or even think. The smell of damp earth, freshly-cut lilies and chrysanthemums was strangely enticing and equally gruesome as it danced around the grave in front of me. I leaned against a fat oak and let its claw-like branches brush against my cheek in a consoling, almost motherly manner.

  Unsure of how I had gotten to the point I was at, I was unaware if I should move one step forward or one step backward, so I did nothing at all. Certainly doing nothing was better than searching for answers that I wasn’t ready to hear or willing to understand; or was it?

  After I had kissed Lucus good-bye the world had gone blank, as if someone or something had hit the reset button on the strange movie that was supposedly my life. Nothingness slowly transformed into an overpowering sense of dread and utter helplessness, and then without warning I found myself sitting in front of an unmarked grave in the corner of Darkwood cemetery. Around me, tombs swayed to a savage, ghostly rhythm that was all too familiar. Their strange shadows intertwined and surrounded me, tempting me to join them in their never-ending party.

  Arelia LaRue, you’ve come to party with us, haven’t you?

  Why not leave it all behind and join us on the other side?

  This world doesn’t appreciate you, it never has.

  It’s caused you nothing but pain.

  Leave it all behind and come party with us.

  You n?can join him, isn’t that what you want?

  Don’t you want to join him?

  He’s gone…

  Sabrina’s safe…

  Marie’s happy…

  But he’s gone…

  What’s the point of going on?

  I sat there like a zombie and stared at the grave, not even questioning why the world around me had suddenly vanished. I didn’t want to know why Aunt Mae, Henri, Sabrina or Grand-mere hadn’t bothered to come to his funeral. Didn’t anybody care? It didn’t matter because I didn’t want to share this moment with them.

  I fiddled with the white buttons on my ugly Darkwood blouse and bit my fingernails. The anger and frustration that had consumed so much of my life had evaporated, replaced by a profound, uninvited sadness that I thought I had been incapable of ever feeling. I grabbed a handful of dirt from the grave and enjoyed the odd sensation as it slipped through my fingers. Everything seemed to slip through my fingers.

  To me, Lucus LaPlante had been so much more than a ridiculously handsome man. He had been my personification of hope, and he had managed to do the impossible. He had stripped me of some of my cynicism and had forced me to acknowledge the beauty, wonder and love that existed in a world that I had once written off as being nothing more than an oppressive jungle. Despite my reluctance and sheer stubbornness he had somehow managed to charm his way into my heart, and I had fallen in love with him. But now, like all good things, he was dust and I was alone.

  As I stared at the grave, I questioned the purpose of it all. What was the point of coming this far only to fall in love with Lucus and then have him ripped away so quickly? Is that what Marie had wanted? Had she wanted me to kill off Lucus as some kind of sick sacrifice? Payback for the unnecessary suffering and horrors Louis had endured throughout his life? Payback for the cruelty society had inflicted on her and Jacques? Had she tricked me into believing that she actually cared for Lucus when in reality she had been out for revenge? An eye for an eye, even in the land of the dead? The thought was too depressing and shallow to bear.

  I sat on the mushy earth and felt sorry, not for myself but for the sad world that surrounded me with all its wasted potential, constant disappointments, wars, never-ending hatred and prejudices. Was the universe so utterly messed up that even the dead needed to satisfy their lust for revenge and payback? If everything good and hopeful was bound to be destroyed, what was the point of life? Ivan had been right. Nothing is fair, and nothing will ever be fair. I let out a small sigh and looked at the bright side: Sabrina was safe and unharmed.

  The wind grew stronger, making the purple lilies madly sway and do a morbid dance above the grave. Under different circumstances, the sight of them carelessly playing and meandering under the happy yellow moon would have been breathtakingly beautiful, but now, it seemed like a mockery. Another slap in the face dished out by the loa. A powerful chill ran down my spine, which told me Bade was near.

  “Go away,” I said before he could say anything.

  Sadly, I had no control over him and the wind only grew stronger, prompting a purple lily to land on my arm. I tried to ignore its sweet smell as it wafted into my nostrils.

  “Get up, Arelia. You’re in danger. Get up now,” he hissed.

  I continued to ignore him.

  “Get up, silly one,” he persisted.

  “No! I’m sick and tired of your games!” I shouted furiously as I tried to fight back the bitter tears that were quickly building. “I listened to you and all the other loa and now look where’s it’s gotten me! Absolutely nowhere!”

  In protest, I ripped the lily off my arm and threw it in the air, hoping it would smack Bade in his invisible face.

  “Stop being so dramatic, silly Arelia.”

  “No!” I leapt up from the ground and pointed my index finger in the air. “You stop being so cryptic. I’ve done absolutely everything you’ve asked. I’ve listened to your silly advice about finding love and beauty in the ugliest circumstances. I listened to Erzulie and her endless ramblings about understanding. Hell, I even let Louis whip me instead of beating him to a pulp. I gave Marie peace and reunited Lucus and Louis, and I …” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I fell to my knees and buried my head into my hands in an attempt to cover my tears.

  “And you what?”

  My body trembled as I tried to suppress the words that were on the tip of my tongue.

  “You what?” Bade hissed.

  “I fell in love… I fell in love with Lucus, and now he’s gone.”

  “You’re delusional,” Bade said simply.

  I wiped away my tears and moved my hands away from my face. I took a deep breath, and when I spoke I tried to be as rational and calm as possible. “No. I’m not delusional. I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me. I’ve always done everything I’ve been expected to do. It seems like everyone around me wants to change, re-arrange and school me, and I’m sick to death of it. I’m not a superhero, and God knows I’m not perfect, but I’ve tried and I’ve tried, and now I feel broken and defeated. Yet everyone around me expects me to keep going on as if I’m some kind of robot. Well, the truth is, I’m not a robot.

  “I have weaknesses, and maybe those weaknesses make others uncomfortable, but they’re what make me human. I refuse to be what you or anybody else wants me to be. I can’t be this a
ll-powerful Voodoo Queen who runs around helping people while totally neglecting myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy Marie has found peace and Louis found some sort of resolution, but to take Lucus’ life was cruel and unnecessary. I’m sorry if you can’t understand where I’m coming from. I can’t run or fight when I don’t even know what I’m fighting for anymore. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but Lucus was the only one who let me be me. I didn’t have to pretend around him and now that he’s gone I feel…”

  “You feel?”

  “Hopeless and confused.”

  Bade let out a low sigh. The wind got so warm that the tears streaming down my face instantly dried. “I do know how you feel, Arelia. Spirits get confused too. Do you know how many times I hear the same complaints? Bade, why another hurricane? Bade, why another tornado? Bade, why another sea storm? Bade why? Why? Why? You humans never seem to acknowledge all the good I do. Very few of you bother to appreciate the sheer beauty behind it all. How I make the leaves rustle just so. How I caress your sweaty skin on a hot day or how I make the ocean waves ripple in perfect harmony. Sometimes I feel like disappearing and letting you humans take care of your own messes. It’s not easy helping a bunch of whiners who refuse to help themselves, but I continue to do so because it’s what I’m meant to do.”

  “Why do you even bother helping us if you think we’re so whiny and useless? What’s the point? If no one seems to appreciate what you have to offer, why go on?”

  “Arelia, as much as I would love to have a philosophical debate, you need to run. You need to find him. He has the answers you’re looking for. If you don’t run right now, you’re going to be stuck in this delusion forever. You’ll be trapped on this side forever because that’s what they want. Marie needs you to find him so you can find her. No one is going to find any peace until you stop whining and do what you’re meant to do.”

  Oh God, how many more riddles, puzzles and games did Bade have up his sleeve? I laughed a deep, cynical laugh and broke my resolution of being all respectful to spirits. “This side? Clearly you’re the one who’s delusional. I’m in Darkwood Cemetery. This is reality. I’m beginning to realize that death and destruction are the only realities.”

  “No,” he hissed. “No, you’re imprisoned by your own fear and unwillingness to face the truth. None of this is real. Lucus’ body isn’t in that grave. Marie wanted you to find him so he could lead you to her. She has the answers. She’s waiting for you. How can you give up now? You’re so close… So close to the truth.”

  I lay down on the soft earth and curled up beside the grave. I arranged myself in the fetal position and ran my fingers over the damp earth. For a second, I felt like laughing at myself. Was I seriously laying in the fetal position beside an unmarked grave in a cemetery? After fighting so hard this is what it had all come to? Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. “You’re wrong. I kissed him good-bye. I heard a voice that said I needed to sacrifice something, and I know I sacrificed him. I know he’s in here.”

  “You’re wrong. He’s waiting for you. She’s waiting for you…”

  “Whoever he and she are, I don’t want to meet them. I want to stay here with him.”

  Goosebumps rippled up my bare legs as the warm wind turned icy. The hum of the swamp animals changed from subtle and sweet into wild and barbaric, making it seem as if they were singing a strange and dismal lament. The dark stench of death suddenly became overwhelming, but I didn’t mind. I wanted to be consumed by it if it meant being closer to Lucus. I wondered if the flesh had already dropped from his bones. How long did that take?

  “Silly Arelia. This isn’t about you. This is much bigger than you. Get up before it’s too late. Get up!” Bade wasn’t going to give up, was he?

  Don’t go, Arelia

  Stay with him

  You can be together

  You can be happy

  If you go you’ll experience pain like no other

  If you stay you can be happy so very happy

  “No. I’m not moving. I’m staying right here.”

  “Fine, silly little one, stay. Lose faith and be a prisoner of your own illusions and bitterness. That’s exactly what they want.”

  In a childish moment, I stuck my tongue out at the air. “I will.”

  The truth was, I was exhausted and didn’t know who or what to believe anymore. What was the point of believing in goodness when it never seemed to last? Grand-mere had taught me to believe that even in moments of terrible darkness and despair, a light would always come out to play. Where was this imaginary light? Clearly, whenever this light did come out it was snuffed out by some greater darkness that was determined to make the world a miserable place.

  “Arelia, even though you’re being tragically senseless and more selfish than that fat man, Mr. Dumpty, I will still help you,” Bade hissed, interrupting my angst-ridden nihilistic thoughts. Even though I ignored him, he continued to speak. “Listen carefully. Listen for the music. When you hear the sound of a lone guitar, you’ll know he’s near. He loves to play the guitar. He’ll help you get to her.”

  I continued to stare at the grave, refusing to acknowledge Bade. The tears started to race down my cheeks at an alarming rate, and I wished for nothing more than a sign that I would be able to climb out of this dark hole. The wind grew warm again. It gently stroked my unruly hair and wiped away my salty tears.

  “It’s okay to be confused, Arelia. No matter how dramatic you’re being right now I know you’ll keep on fighting.”

  “How? How do you know?” I asked, more curious than anything else.

  “It’s a mystery…”

  With those words, Bade disappeared and left me alone in darkness.

  Chapter Two

  Ghede Nibo

  I lay there for what felt like hours watching the pale violet sky as it slowly transformed into a pool of inky black. The stars above me twinkled carelessly, and the lazy yellow moon hung so low that for a moment I was fearful it would fall out of the sky and crush me. The sound of oak branches softly rubbing against the countless tombs, combined with the low hoot of owls in the distance was akin to a strange, hypnotic night lullaby that threatened to put me into a never-ending slumber. I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier…

  “He he he,” laughed a high-pitched voice from beyond a clump of oak trees. I ignored it, hoping whatever spirit it was would get a clue and leave me in peace. I wanted to enjoy my misery for as long as I could.

  “Oh, please. You can’t ignore me. How can anyone ignore the most handsome, dashing, and utterly irresistible spirit around?”

  “Go away!” I shouted, as I feebly threw some dirt in the direction of the trees. Flinging dirt. It reminded me of Lucus and I felt a wild rage building up in the pit of my stomach. Why didn’t these spirits get a clue already? “I don’t have anything to offer you. I’m all dried up.”

  The slow rustle of the oaks became more vigorous as the shadows on the tombstones shifted into thin, ghoulish faces with jagged teeth and sharp eyes. The sky above me transformed from black into a rich wine color. Sparks of purple and pink light burst from the stars and swirled over my head at a speed that made me dizzy. Flecks of gold dust fell from the sky and landed on my bare arms and legs, masking the mud stains that streaked my skin. The scent of lilies and damp earth was replaced with that of sweet white rum infused with smoky medicinal herbs and cigar smoke. I instantly knew that I was in the company of one very extravagant spirit. The one and only Ghede Nibo.

  According to legend, as a mortal Ghede Nibo had been a very handsome, lively, and charismatic young man. Sadly, his particular lifestyle wasn’t approved of by everybody, especially those who felt threatened by him. Those fearful people took matters into their own hands and violently murdered the handsome Nibo. After his death, Papa and Maman Ghede adopted him as their son, half out of pity, and half because he made a perfect addition to the crazy Ghede clan. As a spirit, Ghede Nibo hung out in cemeteries, partying, eating, and offering assistance to those soul
s who had died young and unexpectedly.

  The scariest thing about Ghede Nibo was he could literally smell when someone was lying. Basically, he was allergic to bullshit. Wait. He offered assistance to souls who had died young and unexpectedly. I shot up. Lucus, he could help Lucus. Even though Lucus wasn’t technically young, he had died unexpectedly.

  “Hello.” I cautiously walked towards the enormous oaks, which were now shaking viciously and emitting rays of purple light.

  “I told you can’t ignore me.”

  Come on, Arelia, you’ve done this countless times. Be nice and sweet. It’s not that hard. “You’re right. How could anyone ignore the most handsome, dashing and irresistible spirit around? I know I can’t.”

  A nasal sneeze came from behind the oaks. “Lies. All lies. Why are you humans all such pathological liars? Is it a disease you contract through the water you drink? No. No. I know. It must be the food you eat that makes you all so cowardly. Or is in the air you breathe?”

  Ouch. He really was allergic to bullshit. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this could be my last shot at getting Lucus back. “I’m not lying,” I said, as convincingly as I could.

  “Oh please.” There were a few more really loud sneezes. A swirl of cigar smoke seeped its way through the lush oak leaves, followed by what sounded like a slurp from a rum bottle. “I know what you really want. Why can’t you admit it already so we can skip all these fake formalities? You don’t care about me; you just want to use me for my powers.”

  “No. That’s not true,” I said quickly, as I tried to think of something that would convince him that I was worthy of his help. “I do care. I care a lot.”

  There was a moment of deafening silence. Not one sneeze came from behind the oaks, which had to be a good sign.

  “Oh you care, do you? Then ask me a question. Any question.”