Oppressed

by Kira Saito

  “Oui,” she said, somewhat grudgingly.

  His face glowed at her response and he got down on one knee. “Then marry me, you beautiful spirit, and let us celebrate by spending the night dancing!”

  Chalotte’s beautiful face lit up and her blue eyes danced. “Oui, Dinclusin! Oui!”

  I looked up at Lucus and told him what had played out between the spirits. He turned to fully face me, took my other hand into his and pulled me close; so close that our forehands touched and lashes met. I could feel his heat and energy and hear the quick beat of his heart. “Close your eyes,” he whispered.

  I closed them and my body trembled.

  “From this day forward you shall be my beautiful spirit, my Chalotte, and I shall be your Dinclusin.”

  I laughed. “Are you suggesting that we’re meant to drive each other insane for eternity?”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting. We’re supposed to drive one another completely insane for eternity.”

  I let out a little laugh and opened my eyes. “Are you crazy?”

  He grinned. “Yes!”

  “You’re absolutely insane and you’ve had too much whiskey and champagne.” I forced a smile and brushed off his dramatic prediction.

  “How sweet!” Dinclusin’s voice jolted me out of my happy place.

  “What is it Dinclusin, can’t you see that I’m a little busy?” I gave Lucus an apologetic glance.

  “I don’t have a present to give to my bride-to-be, and we’re about to go to our engagement party,” he said.

  “Here, take this,” I said. I took off my diamond necklace and handed it to him.

  “Thank you!” He snatched it out of my hand and gave it to Chalotte, who gladly accepted it.

  “Lucus! Lucus Guillaume Merrieult Jacques LaPlante!!!” screamed a very loud and very angry voice.

  “It’s Maman,” said Lucus. “She’s overly protective and dramatic but I know her heart is kind.”

  I froze and a wretched dread came over me because I knew that it was time to head back to reality once again.

  “He he he!” Dinclusin laughed.

  “Good luck!” Chalotte smirked as the two slowly vanished.

  “Lucus Guillaume Merrieult Jacques LaPlante!” The voice was getting louder and louder. “I know you’re there! You cannot hide from your obligations! Stop acting like a child and start acting like a man! You’re going to be the heir to the family empire in a few years and you’re acting like a heathen!!! What will people think? What will they think about me? You need to start accepting your place in society! You’re of noble blood, not savage blood!”

  She appeared before us in a blaze of venomous rage. There was fire and pure anger in her wide eyes and her delicate cheeks were flushed in frustration. Strands of wavy dark hair sprung loose from her rigid updo and I could see that she was struggling to properly breathe due to her too-tight corset. For a moment she stood there with her hands on her hips and her cheeks started to get brighter and brighter as her eyes rested on me.

  Lucus protectively placed his arm around me. “It’s going to be alright,” he whispered. “Good evening, Maman!” He exclaimed cheerily. “Are you out for one of your evening walks? It’s a lovely night. The beautiful spirits are alive and well.” He gave me a teasing smile and my cheeks instantly became hot and I tried my best to restrain my smile.

  “Don’t start Lucus. Don’t you dare start! You were supposed to waltz with Richard’s girls! You have obligations and responsibilities and you’re out here with Edmond’s placée! He’s furious! Don’t you have any respect for your family? ” Her cheeks became even more flushed when she saw that I was wearing Lucus’ jacket. Her nails dug into his arms. “What happened here? What have you done?”

  Lucus gave her an easy smile and gently freed himself from her grip, placed his other arm around her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Maman, you look simply stunning tonight, why waste all your beauty on anger? It’s almost the New Year. It’s a time for celebrating all that we have been blessed with. Look around you just look at all we have.”

  At that second it became crystal clear that I did want him to be my Dinclusin.

  She shook herself free. “What have you two done? This was more than a walk. What kind of disgrace have you brought upon the family, Lucus, tell me. What have you done with your cousin’s placée? Don’t you understand she’s spoken for? She’s kept, Lucus! Kept!”

  “We…”

  I shot Lucus a knowing look and cut him off before he had a chance to say anything. I didn’t want him to get into any trouble. I distanced myself from him and gave her a shy but respectful smile. “Madame it’s entirely my fault. I needed some fresh air, so I decided to take a walk but got lost. I’m terribly clumsy. Thankfully, Lucus found me and was kind enough to offer his jacket and show me the way back to my dear sweet Edmond. I’m so sorry if I caused any trouble.” I held my breath and hoped that she bought my lie. I took off Lucus’s jacket and handed it back to him. “Thank you for… Thank for your jacket.” My hands shook as I handed it back to him, and I silently cursed myself for being so discomposed. There were a million things I wanted to say and do to him at that moment and not one of them was appropriate.

  Madame LaPlante didn’t buy my lie. Her lips were still taunt and I could see the veins in her neck throbbing wildly, but despite her rage I could also see that she was struggling to regain her poise. She gave me a stiff and unconvincing smile. “I see. Edmond’s been looking all over for you. I’m sure he’ll be glad to know you’re safe.” Her voice had a hint of sarcasm to it and I was fearful that she had somehow heard everything that had taken place out in the forest.

  Lucus broke the tension. “See, everything is fine, Maman. Now, let’s go back inside and I’ll waltz with Richard’s girls and you can give me approving glances from the corner of the ballroom, doesn’t that sound like a splendid idea?”

  She shook her head started to say something but decided to keep quiet. The three of us walked back to the house in silence and I dreaded every step I took because it brought me one step closer to Edmond and one step away from Lucus.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Keep a Big Man Down

  Cecile LaNuit’s Home, Rue de Rampart

  New Orleans, 1852

  The night had been cut short at Edmond’s insistence. He had been eerily silent as we rode back to my home, and a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach told me that it was going to be a long night of ranting, which was the last thing I wanted.

  To my disappointment, I never had a chance to say good-bye to Lucus, but I knew that was for the best, because being around him and knowing that I could never actually be with him was torture. Tonight I had experienced a range of emotions and feelings that I never thought were possible. The most shocking of which was the pure and unfiltered jealousy I had felt when I secretly watched Lucus waltzing with the hyena twins. Despite his wild proclamations out in the forest, I knew that society didn’t particularly cater well to honesty, so regardless of what we felt for one another acting on those feelings would only bring shame upon those around us.

  I sat across from Edmond in my dimly-lit parlor, feeling as if I were a very small child who had misbehaved and was now waiting for her punishment. I neurotically counted the number of chrysanthemum petals that had fallen off of the flowers that rested on the heavy mahogany table, and imagined I was back at Darkwood with Lucus.

  Edmond sipped his brandy slowly, deliberately stretching out the night so that he could enjoy my unease and take pleasure in my discomfort. He annoyingly tapped his fingernail against the crystal glass and with every clink my aggravation grew. With the candles throwing ghastly light on his face he appeared to be a cruel, vengeful, and slightly grotesque caricature of himself.

  I poured myself some more brandy and drank it fast, without really tasting it, hoping that it would somehow dull the misery and uncertainty I felt. Was this how I was meant to live my entire life?

  Aft
er his third glass of brandy Edmond finally spoke. “How could you?” he asked.

  For a few moments I simply started at him and batted my eyelashes. “How could I what?” I played dumb and innocent as if I hadn’t the slightest idea to what he was referring.

  My poise and nonchalance infuriated him and I found myself secretly laughing and taking a sick and rewarding gratification in his frustration.

  “With all people, my cousin. My cousin. I take you out and introduce you to my elite circle and you act like a classless savage and embarrass me. Have you no appreciation for all that I’ve done for you? Have you no respect? There are a thousand women who would love to be in your place, yet you act as if being with me is some kind of punishment. You’re spoiled, Cecile, utterly spoiled and selfish. I don’t know who or what you think you are but you need to understand your place in this world, otherwise you’re going to be in for a rude awakening.”

  Understand my place? That enraged me, but I refused to let him see that he was getting under my skin. “Edmond, I got lost.” That was my story and I was sticking with it. “I assure you nothing happened.” Well, it hadn’t.

  His face reddened and his eyes narrowed into two dark slits. He rose from his chair and started to pace from one end of the parlor to the other while flinging his index finger in the air to no one in particular. “Don’t do that. Don’t insult my intelligence! How dare you insult my intelligence! Without me you’d be out on the streets! Is that what you want? Do you want to be out on the streets, Cecile? I assure you it’s very easy for me to make that happen,” he said threateningly. “Say the word and I’ll make it happen.”

  “No,” I whispered. I despised the silent desperation that my voice held. I despised him, but at that moment I despised myself even more. Who was this weak, pathetic person I no longer recognized? I didn’t want to depend on him and his protection for a minute longer, but fear crippled me and rendered me helpless. “No, please,” I whispered over and over again. I thought of all the horror stories I had heard of placées who had been abandoned by their protectors and had been left with nothing. Some had been so traumatized that they flung themselves off buildings or threw themselves under horse carts. They had been classified as ruined women who were shunned by the community. I imagined Maman ceaselessly crying and screaming if Edmond cut off his connection with me. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  He stopped pacing, kneeled before me and took my hands into his. His face changed from a toxic mask of contempt and rage into that of sadness. His usually cold eyes filled with sudden fire. “Did he touch you? Did my cousin touch you?”

  “No,” I whispered. “No, Edmond. Nothing happened. He was the perfect gentleman. It was all a silly misunderstanding. I got lost, that’s all.”

  He let out a giant sigh of relief. “Do you love me, Cecile?” he asked suddenly, out of nowhere. It was the last question I wanted to answer right then and there. It was even sillier for him to ask it. Did he love his wife? If so why was he here with me?

  I knew that telling the truth would only prolong the grotesque night even further and there was no point in arguing with him as it would lead nowhere. “Oui, of course I do.” Lies. I wanted to scream.

  He gently pulled me up from off the silk-covered chair. I could see the color dance in his cheeks, the intensity in his eyes and smell the strong scent of brandy on his breath as he brought his lips to mine and gave me soft kiss. “I love you, Cecile. You see I’ll do anything to make you happy. You have everything you could ever dream of, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I whispered as I tried to resist the urge to wipe away his kiss. “Yes. You’re so very generous, Edmond.”

  “Aren’t you the envy of the neighborhood?”

  “Yes,” I said numbly. “Of course.”

  “See how wonderful our match is? Let’s keep it that way, non?” He slowly brought his hands to my hair and took out the pins one by one. With every pin plucked out my heart and hopes sank lower and lower. The crash of each pin as it fell on the freshly polished floor was deafening. “As long as you don’t disgrace me and keep your place I will always protect you.”

  “Yes, let’s keep it that way. I’ll never step out of my place again,” I said robotically. My voice was foreign and devoid of any feeling but he didn’t seem to notice or care. Tante Celeste’s words ran through my mind. There are many ways to get rid of an unwanted lover.

  He kissed my neck and the heavy scent of his musky cologne suddenly became overbearing to the point that it made me nauseous. He pulled on my corset strings and with every pull I muffled a scream.

  “Let’s forget about this little incident and go to bed, oui?”

  I nodded without even thinking about it. At this point the whole thing was automatic. “Yes, Edmond. There’s nothing I would love more.”

  ***

  I lay in bed and watched as Edmond slept and snored as if nothing at all was wrong. I felt horribly disgusted with myself, yet I couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason I felt this way or what I could do to make it all go away. All I knew was that I wanted to get a piece of myself back; the piece that he was rapidly stealing. I examined him for a moment and took a sick delight in how fragile and vulnerable he appeared. His well-chiseled face was infinitely smooth under the stream of pale moonlight that fought its way through the lace curtains and his bow-shaped lips were turned up in a satisfied smile. There was something strangely fascinating about watching him sleep- with watching anyone sleep, really. I reached out and plucked out a strand of his dark hair. I had no idea what I was going to do with it, but somehow it made me feel better that I had it.

  Slowly, I climbed out of bed, put on a night gown and grabbed the single white candle that rested on my dresser. Quietly, I let myself out of the room and prayed that he wouldn’t wake up. Inside, there was a fire burning and with every passing second it was getting stronger and stronger. I made my way into the kitchen and into the small pantry where I kept several altars, carefully hidden behind supplies of food.

  I kneeled on the ground and pulled out the various candles, potions, herbs and offerings. For moments I simply stared at all of the objects that lay in front of me and wondered what was it I wanted to achieve. What was it that I wanted Edmond to feel?

  I inhaled the smell of the fiery oils and bitter aloes and let out a huge sigh of relief, because I felt as if I were somehow safe. A giddiness washed over me as I touched various objects that were so valuable to me, and then I thought about how Edmond made me feel, how helpless I felt in his presence, how highly he thought of himself, and his unwillingness to even listen to my point of view. There was something about his attitude and sense of entitlement that brutalized my very soul. I didn’t want him to die; all I wanted was to knock him down a notch or two and make him feel vulnerable and weak. I knew the perfect trick to make that happen.

  Keep a Big Man Down trick was one of the many defense tactics Tante Celeste had taught me, and lucky for me it was also highly effective. If carried out properly the spell left your target frustrated and sick for as long as you wanted them to remain that way. The most important part of the trick was making sure it was prepared with the correct energy. I knew I had to transfer exactly how I wanted Edmond to feel into the doll and the ingredients.

  “Erzulie, please bless this trick,” I whispered as I pricked myself seven times with a tiny silver dagger in order to entice her.

  Afterwards, I lit a black candle and gathered the necessary ingredients, which were a doll made out of black cloth, a black pen, paper, bitter aloes, cayenne pepper, black thread, and black lace. I wrote Edmond’s name on the paper and then slashed open the doll with a small silver dagger. I closed my eyes concentrated and shoved the bitter aloes and cayenne pepper, along with the paper and strand of his hair into the doll. I quickly sewed up the slash with the black thread and then tied the doll’s hands behind its back. With the black lace I carefully constructed a mini-veil for the doll and arranged it so that it covered the doll’s face. I found
a dark corner and placed the doll on its knees. “Down on your knees, big man.”

  I laughed soundlessly and did a little victory dance. It was scary how much pleasure I was getting out of this one small act. Sometimes the smallest acts are the ones that end up being the most important.

  After making sure the Edmond doll was carefully hidden I quietly crept back into bed and watched him. Slowly but surely his mouth started to twitch and his blue eyes snapped open. He crawled out of bed and clutched his stomach and I could taste his confusion and desperation as he tried to make sense of what was happening to him. He thrashed wildly from one end of the room to another until he finally fell onto his knees.

  Down on your knees big man. Down on your knees tyrant.

  I watched with gratification as his eyes started to water and the fine veins on his temples started to swell and madly bulge. His face turned as bright as the cayenne peppers and I could see strands of sweat drip off his forehead and glisten under a thin stream of moonlight.

  He struggled to understand what was happening to him and looked at me pleadingly. He tried to say something but the words came out as a low, desperate gargle. The bitter aloes were doing their job nicely. I watched him silently and without an ounce of compassion as an inky dark stream of blood trickled from his nose and onto the waxy floor. When words finally found him his voice was hoarse and barely above a whisper. “Cecile. What has that heathen done to me?”

  His words and sheer arrogance disgusted me. He was still suspicious that Justine was conducting secret Voodoo/Hoodoo rituals in the house and had made it his personal vendetta to locate an altar just so he could sell her back into the market. Did he know he was sleeping with the real heathen? For a minute I wanted to tell him, just to see the expression on his face.

  He attempted to rise but with every attempt he fell onto his knees and his pupils started to wildly swell and dance from side to side. This went on for several minutes before I grudgingly got out of bed and kneeled down beside him.