Icing

by Jami Davenport

  “Yeah, so, haven’t we all been?”

  “I haven’t.”

  “Most of us aren’t as perfect as you are.” Ziggy met my gaze. He wasn’t angry now, more like frustrated. That made two of us. I didn’t know what direction to take, and I hated not having a plan. On the other hand, I wasn’t keen on taking advice from a guy who either couldn’t pay his bills or didn’t bother to pay them. Take your pick. Either one was irresponsible.

  “I can’t. I’m not living my life in your shoes. I got my own problems to deal with. But if I were you, I’d hang on to that girl with everything I had because she’s a keeper, and guys like us don’t find keepers very often.”

  “Guys like us?” What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

  “Guys who have a hard time finding a woman who likes us for who we are rather than what we have.”

  “Hmmm.” Pretty insightful for Ziggy. I hadn’t known he actually cared what his female companions wanted as long as they wanted sex and lots of it.

  My phone rang as I trudged to my bedroom. It was my mom. I’d texted her earlier, needing a sympathetic ear. Where she lived, it was the middle of the night, unless she was somewhere else, but she’d never tell me.

  “I had this suspicion you might need to talk,” she said. “I heard your girlfriend got into a little bit of trouble.”

  Now how the fuck did she always know stuff like that? Sometimes, I swore she had surveillance on me.

  “You’re not going to pile on, are you?”

  “I don’t know. Should I?”

  “No,” I said sullenly. “And she’s not my girlfriend.”

  “She isn’t? What happened?”

  “She dumped me first, but I would’ve dumped her if I’d had the chance.” I launched into a detailed account of what’d happened that day and what I’d witnessed at the protest. “She threw tomatoes at my boss, and she knew he was my boss. Who the fuck does that?”

  “Maybe what you saw wasn’t what really happened?”

  I frowned at the phone, as if Mom could see me, but she couldn’t. She didn’t like video calls. “Why do you say that?” I had this sneaking suspicion she knew something. If it were anyone else, her behavior would be stalkerish or just plain weird, but she was my mom, and I was used to her keeping tabs on me in ways I never understood how she did it.

  “I might have seen some security video of the incident.”

  “You might’ve?”

  “I might’ve. Hyacinth tried to stop her mother, rather than joining her.”

  “Are you sure?” I hadn’t witnessed that part, just the aftermath. I’d gone after Cin, wanting to talk some sense into her after she’d stormed out, and showed up as she was handcuffed and taken away.

  “Yes. Have you spoken to her? Tried to find out what happened from her point of view?”

  “Uh, no.”

  There was censure in her silence. My mom had raised me to approach issues head on, not be passive-aggressive about them, yet I’d been a dumb shit once again when it came to Cin.

  “Will I ever get this right, Mom?”

  “Not if you stop trying.”

  I heard voices in the background, and my mother responded.

  “Sorry, I need to go. Call me tomorrow. Let me know how things work out. I love you, son.”

  She ended the call before I had a chance to respond.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  The Cedar

  ~~Hyacinth~~

  Not again.

  I paused from wiping off the bar to squint past the reflection in the window. It was him.

  It’d been two days since he’d shown up here. I’d hoped he’d gotten the hint and would leave me alone. Last night he’d played a home game, and his performance had been lackluster. Don’t ask how I know that. Tonight would be a night off, and here he was. It was a dead Wednesday night, and I’d decided to call it a night. If I’d only been thirty minutes faster, I’d have been gone before he showed up.

  Steele paced on the sidewalk outside the bar. Back and forth. Back and forth. He’d stop once in a while and stare into the bar.

  The man really was a stalker. Why didn’t he just leave me alone?

  I ignored him and went about my closing chores. The bar was empty. The door was locked, and I wasn’t unlocking it for him. If he wanted to talk to me, he had to wait in the cold until I was finished. If I took long enough, hopefully he’d give up and go home.

  Only I didn’t take my time. I hurried through my chores; I couldn’t help myself. As I worked, I ran through multiple scenarios of why he was here. My best guess was he’d try once again to convince me to see things his way. I wasn’t backing down on my convictions, because they were bigger than the both of us. He didn’t understand what that tree represented to people who thought like I did. To him it was just a tree. The apparently irreconcilable differences between us made me sad.

  I threw on my coat and walked to the door as if I hadn’t a care in the world. I stepped outside and locked the door behind me, giving Steele my back.

  “Can I have a word with you?”

  I turned and made a show of opening my eyes wide in surprise. “Oh, I didn’t see you there.”

  He frowned and studied me, as if he couldn’t quite figure out if I was being honest or bratty. He should’ve known me better than that. I was definitely being bratty.

  “Can we talk?” He looked down at his feet in a rare display of insecurity. Steele usually exuded confidence almost to the point of cockiness. There was none of that right now.

  “Fine, what do you want?” I defensively crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my toe.

  “Not here. Come with me.” He reached for my hand, and I wasn’t able to bring myself to pull away.

  Steele pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the gate surrounding the building site. The previously ill-kept park was essentially gone with the exception of this lone giant cedar.

  “Where did you get that key?” I said in surprise. None of my group was here tonight. Probably because there weren’t any television cameras around on this chilly night.

  He lifted a brow and almost smiled. “Mina, Mr. Parker’s assistant, got it for me.”

  “She did? You must not have told her you were bringing me here.”

  “I did. She was cool with it.” As contentious as things had been between the team and my group, I found that hard to believe.

  We stepped through the mud and construction debris to the grand old cedar standing lone vigil in this now empty lot. I smiled up at the tree, craning my neck to see the top.

  “I want to know what you see in this tree. I want to understand.”

  My brain was working overtime in an effort to figure out what he was up to.

  I racked my brain for the right words to describe what this tree represented. “This tree is a few centuries old. It’s seen so much change, and somehow it’s managed to survive it all and stand tall and proud. It’s a Seattle icon. Every year, high school seniors have graduation pictures taken at its base. Happy couples pose for wedding pictures here. Various small animals are protected under its branches. It isn’t just this tree. It’s all trees. It’s our environment. When does it stop? Just one more tree and one more tree and one more tree.”

  “They paved paradise.” Steele quoted a popular sixties song. “Big Yellow Taxi, 1970.”

  I smiled at him, not having ever seen this side of him. He knew that song?

  “Shocked?” he asked with a self-satisfied smirk.

  “A little. You’ve never mentioned much about music before.”

  “I haven’t? I love music.” He turned back to the tree, leading me closer under the canopy of sweeping branches to the large trunk with its bark in strips and roots extending out toward us. I tripped over one of those roots and Steele caught me in his arms before I fell. I clung to him, and our eyes met.

  And I knew. No matter what. I knew.

  We weren’t over yet. We’d never be over.

  There was s
omething there, something between us, something indefinable that defied all logic. We were opposites, but perhaps the differences would enrich us, not tear us down if we appreciated them rather than resented them. Steele was here tonight, trying to understand what I saw in this old tree. He’d given me this gift, and I was going to make sure I was worthy.

  “I’ve missed you,” he said, his voice choked with emotion.

  I put my hands on his chest and pushed away. He misinterpreted my actions and his face fell, as if he’d been beaten down. I took his hand and led him under the branches of the old cedar. I brought our linked hands up to the rough bark of the hulking trunk.

  “Can you feel its heartbeat?” I asked, half expecting him to think I was losing it.

  “Yeah, I think I can.”

  “This tree represents so much more than a tree.”

  He nodded. “I think I get it. Wait here.” He walked around the tree and came back with two folding chairs, two glasses, and a thermos. He placed the chairs under the tree, bowed low, and swept his arm toward the chair. With a giggle, I took my seat. Steele poured two mugs of hot chocolate, passing one to me. I took a sip. He’d laced the hot chocolate with peppermint schnaps. I was a bartender; I knew these things. He sat down next to me and sipped on his own chocolate. The cedar branches rustled in a slight breeze, almost as if it were talking to us.

  “I’m impressed,” I said.

  “I am a planner.”

  “Sometimes your fussiness does have its advantages.”

  “I am not fussy.” He laughed anyway and held my free hand in his.

  We sat in silence, relaxed in each other’s company, and neither one of us wanted to break this slim bond between us. The tree wrapped us in its arms, giving us a sense of being protected, as if we were in a timeless cocoon shielded from the rest of the world. I hoped Steele felt it and understood this tree was so much more than a tree.

  “Steele, this tree has stood sentinel over this area for two centuries,” I spoke, finally breaking our silence.

  “I think I get it. This is bigger than a tree. This is about a legacy. About how some things can’t have a price put on them. But you have to understand that Mr. Parker’s cause is important too. We aren’t just talking about privileged athletes getting more free perks. We’re talking about helping young men who have money for the first time in their lives and giving them tools to cope with sudden fame and fortune. We’re talking about a high school senior who did poorly in school, assuming sports would be their career, only they’re not good enough, or they’ve been injured.”

  “There are no easy answers.”

  “Not if you don’t talk about it.”

  He was right about that. I’d done a lot of soul-searching lately and had discussed my concerns at length with Delaney. She knew pieces of the puzzle I hadn’t known. She was so well educated and bright and thoughtful. She had me thinking about my future and what I wanted to do with it, how I might make the biggest contributions to my causes.

  “You never gave me a chance to explain. I stayed in the group because I had hoped to be a calming influence over the radical influence of my mother and Chris.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “I’m leaving the group. It hurts because I helped found it, but it’s not what it was. Delaney and I are meeting with Mr. Parker’s people tomorrow.”

  “Good,” he said, his gaze softened, and a slight smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

  “Did you realize no one had reached out to Mr. Parker or his staff? And when they tried to contact my mom and Chris, they wouldn’t return their calls. They had an agenda, and none of it was good.” It was true. My mom had always been radical and uncontrolled, but she’d held her causes close to her heart. This time was different. She’d crossed some invisible line. The cause no longer mattered. Attacking those she saw as the enemy and getting exposure in the press mattered more. I was sad, but I was pragmatic. My eyes had been opened.

  “I didn’t know that. I am sorry for thinking the worst of you.”

  “And I did the same to you, and I’m sorry.”

  “Do you think we can make our differences an advantage instead of a detriment?”

  “I think so.” I saw my rigid neat freak differently, in ways I’d never seen him before. He gazed up through the branches of the tree, and I watched as his expression changed from one of uncertainty to one of what almost looked like reverence.

  “I think I get it,” he said simply.

  My heart swelled so much it physically hurt, but in a good way, a really good way. He met my gaze with what appeared to be wonderment, and his lazy smile did a slow burn through my body. He squeezed my hand.

  I simply smiled back because right now I had no words. I was choked by an emotion I struggled to define, something bone-deep and wonderous, something I’d truly never felt before with any other man.

  “There’s more. Delaney has offered me a job. She’s running for Seattle City Council.”

  “Cin, that’s incredible for you.”

  “I think I’m ready to try to make changes by legislating them. My mom will never understand, but this is a move I need to make.”

  He smiled at me. “What about us? Are we a move you need to make?”

  “We?” I wasn’t sure I understood his question, but I hoped I did.

  “Will you be my girlfriend again? I won’t always agree with you, but I promise I’ll try to understand you.”

  These past couple weeks had been torture, and there was no way I’d say no. I threw my arms around him, and he held me tight. When I drew back, he had an odd look on his face.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I love you.”

  I laughed for the pure joy of laughing and hugged him harder. I was giddy with happiness. My heart swelled to almost painful proportions, and the weight on my shoulders lifted faster than Puget Sound fog on a windy day.

  “And?” he nudged.

  I blinked a few times, not getting what he was intimating. He gave me that look, and then I got it.

  “I love you too.” I giggled like a schoolgirl, which was so not me, but I didn’t care. I felt like a schoolgirl in love for the first time and ready to shout my love from the top of Mount Rainier to the roof of the Space Needle.

  Steele grinned back. His gray eyes lit with happiness. “I’ll do my best to see your point of view.”

  “I promise the same.”

  There was nothing the two of us couldn’t accomplish if we did it together. Nothing.

  Under the ancient western red cedar, we sealed our promises to each other with a kiss.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Winners

  ~~Steele~~

  My life was on track. Cin moved into my bedroom at the condo, and we were talking about a place of our own. I was still considering buying the condo, but I didn’t know what to do with Ziggy, whose behavior off the ice was increasingly disturbing. He needed the stable environment he got living with Cin and me, so for now I’d put up with his slovenly habits and currently sullen attitude.

  Cin wanted a few acres so she could raise organic vegetables, goats, and chickens. Ice had mentioned five acres for sale next to his property. We’d be taking a look at it soon with the plan to build.

  Right now, I was nervous though. Cin and Delaney were in their meeting with Mr. Parker. Kaden and I were pacing the condo floor, waiting for our girls to come home after the meeting.

  We had the hockey channel on, and Ziggy was currently slumped on the couch watching the latest pre-Christmas hockey news. He wasn’t his cheerful self but a real downer. Living with him for several more months while we built a house would be a challenge, but friends stuck together through the good and bad.

  Axel, Easton, and I hadn’t yet figured out what to do for him, but we swore we’d figure it out by the new year.

  In fact, New Year’s Eve might be the best time for Kaden to pay his penance. I was reluctant to make it too bad since I was next. So much for my getting-m
arried-in-my-thirties plan, not that Cin and I were talking marriage, but I was having a hard time seeing myself with anyone else.

  “Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Ziggy launched into a string of obscenities more powerful than I’d ever heard from our laid-back party boy.

  Kaden and I locked gazes, both confused regarding his behavior.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Ziggy.

  Ziggy pointed at the TV screen, still cussing. I read the text running along the bottom of the screen: Andrew Staples traded to the Sockeyes.

  Of course, we knew who Andrew Staples was. He was an up-and-coming rookie with tons of talent. I didn’t know him personally, but anyone who added value to the team was welcome as far as I was concerned. We’d had a few season-ending injuries this past road trip, and we needed help.

  “Sounds like a good thing. We need someone with his talent.”

  “Not him,” Ziggy brooded.

  “Yeah, what’s your beef with him?” Kaden asked.

  “I hate the bastard.”

  “You do?” I wasn’t aware Ziggy hated anyone.

  “That team isn’t big enough for the two of us.”

  Kaden and I exchanged confused looks. Ziggy had never mentioned Staples before. Even when we’d played his now former team, I’d never noticed any animosity between them. Now that I thought of it, they didn’t play on opposite lines and hadn’t been on the ice at the same time. Maybe that’s why I never picked up on Ziggy’s dislike of the rookie.

  The front door opened and interrupted my thoughts. Kaden and I forgot all about Ziggy’s issues and turned toward the door. The ladies strode in with a spring in their step and grins on their faces.

  I relaxed. This was good, really good. I wanted that old tree to survive another century. I might not defend every tree or every park, but that tree was special to Cin, and I hoped they’d worked something out with my boss.

  “We did it!” Delaney exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around Kaden and kissed him soundly on the lips. Cin launched herself at me, planting wet kisses all over my face. She was laughing and sobbing at the same time. Ziggy watched us without saying a word, while Herc danced and snorted at our feet. Drool flew everywhere, including on my neatly pressed jeans. I didn’t care.