GOD OF WINE (The Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. Book 3)

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “Oh gods, you so float my Love Boat.” Cimil jumped on top of him and began kissing him wildly.

  “Uh, ma’am?” said the valet. “Everyone’s waiting, and there are children present.”

  Not breaking from ravishing her hubby, Cimil waved him off. “Kids, out of the car! And take your toy with you.”

  “Two minutes to midnight on the East Coast.” Acan took Margarita’s hand as they stood in the middle of their large living room decorated with silver streamers and balloons, filled with his closest friends and his family. Margarita’s daughter, her purple panty friends, and quite a few celebrities from her gym had come, too. Mostly men. Grrr…He hadn’t known that Margarita had such a fan club, but it wasn’t a surprise. She was really hot.

  As for Forgetty, she still hadn’t returned, but he knew she would when she felt ready. They were like peas and carrots.

  Only now I have butter, too. He beamed down at Margarita. It was strange to have someone in your life and learn that they were the missing ingredient all along. Now that he had her, he felt content, and while he still loved doing his job, he enjoyed being alert and conscious while he did it.

  He’d even passed on making tonight one of their official party nights. It was their wedding night, after all, and he didn’t want to miss a thing.

  Acan bent down and gave Margarita a kiss on her soft lips. She looked stunning with her golden hair in soft waves falling down her back and her little white reception dress that showed off her athletic body and awesome tits. He patted himself on the back. I snagged a hotty. The hottest MILF on the planet. And if he had his way, he was going to have her around forever. There was always hope that she’d warm up to the immortal idea.

  “So tell me again why your powers spike at midnight East Coast time?” Margarita asked.

  “I’m not exactly sure.”

  “Well, I’ve been feeling your energy rising all day.” She gave him a wink.

  He had fucked her about five times this morning. Then he made love to her, nice and slow, three more times. Still, it hadn’t been enough according to her. She said it felt like her entire body just wanted to party, and since she didn’t drink, that meant she wanted her favorite vice: him.

  “Are you ready?” He smiled, feeling his body thrumming with energy while their guests increased in rowdiness, laughing and cheering.

  “Oh, I love it when you say that. Something good always happens right after,” she replied.

  The guests began the countdown and so did Acan. “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three…”

  Boom. Party time!

  Margarita turned to him, her green eyes wide. “Holy crap. That’s awesome!” She ran for the bar in the corner, plucked a bottle of champagne from one of the buckets, and poured it over her head. The guests roared with “Woohoos!”

  With a giant grin, Acan simply stood there staring as Margarita bathed herself in bubbly, howling, “Party! Party! Party!”

  “Well, well, well.” He folded his arms over his chest. “I think I found my party queen after all.”

  Zac hated the fucking ocean. He hated the salty air, he hated the movement and those stupid birds that kept following behind them, looking for a handout, and he especially hated fucking boats.

  “Can’t this piece of shit move any faster?” he growled at the captain and chucked his bottle of whisky over the side from the top deck where they sat.

  “Sorry, sir. This is as fast as she goes.”

  “Fucking hunk of junk.”

  “Ye-yes, sir. It is a hunk of ju-junk. Would you care for another bottle? There are plenty in the bar.”

  The bar? Where all of those dead bodies lay in a heap, just where he’d left them? “You go. I hate the sight of blood. Makes me queasy.”

  The captain and owner of this luxury vessel, an older gentleman with a long gray beard, looked like he might wet himself. “I would be delighted to get you a beverage. Are you able to steer?”

  “No. But if we crash, who gives a shit? You’re the only one who will die.”

  “Uh-huh, very good, sir.” The man scurried off, and Zac walked around to the railing. “Like we’re going to hit anything in the middle of the godsdamned fucking ocea…” His eyes caught a glimmer of light reflecting in the darkness, high above what appeared to be open water. He looked again, hoping his eyes weren’t playing tricks. Another shimmer of light from the front of the boat bounced off something ahead.

  “Ha. There you are, you motherfucking island.” He smiled sadistically and yelled over his shoulder, “Hey! Captain, get your ass back up here!” Zac looked back out across the dark ocean. “Think you can hide Tula from me, Cimil?” he whispered. “Think fucking again.”

  There was no corner of this Earth safe from him. Not even El Corazón Island.

  Zac pulled out a long machete from his waistband and thumbed the blade to check the sharpness. “Gods, I fucking hate mermen. This is going to be so fun.”

  TO BE CONTINUED (Muahaha…)

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Hi, all! I’ll make my note short and sweet this time (no story breakdown needed for this one. LOL). First, I hope you all enjoyed GOD OF WINE. I’m tellin’ ya, after the last few months (elections…ugh) and just plain old stressy life, I so needed to let my silly loose. I’m guessing many of you did as well. Anyway, I have three more books planned in this series, and I hope to publish two of them next year (2017): The Goddess of Forgetfulness, Brutus, and Colel (Goddess of Bees). Seriously, I keep going back and forth as to which I’ll do next, so if any of you are DYING for one or the other, let me know. Maybe you’ll help get me off the fence!

  Also, some have asked about Zac and Tula getting their own book. I have not ruled it out, but had originally planned to have their story play out over the next few novels. I’ll keep folks posted (via my newsletter) as the Goddess of Inspiration guides me! Or you can check in here for updates on new Immortal Matchmaker titles:

  www.mimijean.net/immortal_matchmakers.html

  As always, I have SIGNED BOOKMARKS (first-come basis) for those who love to collect my personally crafted swag. Be sure to mention if you took the time to show some BOOK LOVE with an awesome REVIEW (very much appreciated!) so I can include extra “thank you” swag from either this book or one of my upcoming releases (Ten Club!! Woohoo!).

  Since NEW YEAR’S EVE is coming, don’t miss the list of my readers’ all-time favorite party anthems in the back! Belch would be so proud. So many rockin’ songs, you guys!!

  Enjoy your New Year’s, everyone, and don’t forget to say a silent prayer of thanks to Belch if you find yourself filled with an insatiable need to get wild and crazy on his special night.

  Happy Reading,

  Mimi

  #Madeitdirty #Lovemyreaders #UnicornsAreEvil #PantsManPants

  Mimi’s PLAYLIST

  “Wings” by Birdy

  “Neptune” by Sleeping At Last

  “Big Jet Plane” by Angus & Julia Stone

  “On the Road” by Houndmouth

  “So What” by Pink

  “Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” by Pink

  “Can’t Feel My Face” by The Weeknd

  “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba

  “Roxanne” by The Police

  “Paper Aeroplane” by Angus & Julia Stone

  “Young And Beautiful” by Lana Del Rey

  “Prayer In C” by Robin Schulz

  “Take You Higher (Club Mix)” by The Goodwill

  “Black Crow” by Angus & Julia Stone

  “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second” by STRFKR

  “Sweet Disposition” by The Temper Trap

  “Midnight City” by M83

  “Sweater Weather” by The Neighbourhood

  “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star

  “Naïve” by The Kooks

  “When Did Your Heart Go Missing?” by Rooney

  “The Funeral” by Band of Horses

  “Something Good Can Work” by Two Door Cinema Club

/>   “Animal” by Miike Snow

  “Fantasy” by Galimatias

  What’s YOUR Biggest Party Anthem of All Time?

  I asked my readers and here were their responses!

  Ailsa Cousins: “Oops Upside Your Head” by The Gap Band

  Alicia Fleming: “Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy)” by Big and Rich

  Alison Herman Schooley: “More Than A Feeling” by Boston

  Allene Hogan: “Born In The USA” by Bruce Springsteen

  Amanda Jacqueline: “Lola’s Theme” by The Shapeshifters

  Amanda LeJeune: “Welch Bottoms Up” by Brantley Gilbert

  Amy Laura Russell: “Up All Night” by Alex Clare

  Amy Lazarus: “Rocket Scientist” by The Teddybears

  Anita Nalla: “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba

  Ann Victor: “Everybody Knows Your Name” (Theme song to Cheers) by Gary Portnoy

  Anna Brooks: “Who Let The Dogs Out” by Baha Men

  Anna Johnson: “Love Man” by Otis Redding

  Ashley Behrens: “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC

  Becky Covert: “Radar Love” by Golden Earring

  Bethany Klein: “M. O. V. E.” by Luke Bryan

  Brandy Miller: “S.O.B.” by Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

  Carmela Hazzard-Viera: “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang

  Carolyn Maciejko: “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails

  Carrie Hamilton: “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga

  Carrie Wear: “Staying Alive” by Bee Gees

  Casey Nicholson: “Can’t Stop The Feeling” by Justin Timberlake

  Casey Seiple-Faumuina: “O.M.G” by Kanye West

  Cathy Atchison: “Party All The Time” by Eddie Murphy

  Chelsea Dudley and Michele Emery Hayes: “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC

  Chinelo Chukwuka: “Back in Black” by AC/DC

  Christen Marie Salles: “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers

  Christine Poss Sturgill: “Shots ft. Lil Jon” by LMFAO

  Danielle Kostetsky: “Instant Replay” by Dan Hartman

  Deanna Young and Harriett Murray Beck: “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa

  Deby Hadfield: “Sexy And I Know It” by LMFAO

  Deidre Leus: “Pump It” by Black Eyed Peas

  Denise Gallagher McCaul: “ChaChaChaa”

  Diane Powe: “Let’s Groove” by Earth Wind and Fire

  Dina Reyna: “Give Me Everything” by Pitbull

  Erika Simek “Piano Man”

  Faye Bass: “Yeah” by Usher

  Gurt Brown: “Dancing In The Street” by David Bowie & Mick Jagger

  Hannah Roberson: “Hey Ya” by OutKast

  Helen Doogan: “Run Runaway” by Slade

  Helen Glue: “Relight My Fire” by Lulu

  Jamie McGonigle Biggs, Rebecca Mclaughlin, and Michelle Rogers: “Get The Party Started” by Pink

  Jane Kagarise: “Beast Of Burden” by Bette Midler

  Janiel Kramer and Myria Noble: “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

  Jenny Davis Bell: “She Drives Me Crazy” by The Fine Young Cannibals

  Jill Swicegood: “Dude Looks Like a Lady” by Aerosmith

  Jozanne Wihongi: “Party” by Beyoncé

  Julia De Brito: “Bulletproof” by La Roux

  Julia Stevens: “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer

  Kaleena Kaderabek: “If I Had You” by Adam Lambert

  Kat Ann and Denise Gould: “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen

  Kathryn Kirsten O’Toole: “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” by Meat Loaf

  Katie Morgan: “Carry on my Wayward Son” by Kansas

  Kelsey Dwyer Mogavero: “Party Hard” by Andrew W. K.

  Krystal Rancourt: “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd

  Kyla McNamara and Diane Dykes: “Uptown Funk” by Bruno Mars

  Laura Clark: “Dancing With Myself” by Billy Idol

  Laura Sabatino: “Kickstart My Heart” by Motley Crue

  Leah Browne: “Closer” by The Chainsmokers

  Leigha Price and Amanda Johnson: “Living On A Prayer” by Bon Jovi

  Linda Brandt: “Bad To The Bone” by George Thorogood

  Linda Davies and Carol Heisz: “Pony” by Ginuwine

  Linda Greenlees: “Primal Scream” by Rocks

  Lindsay K Lo Kolodziej: “If You Could Read My Mind” by Starz on 54

  Lisa Lockwood: “Pump Up The Volume” by M.A.R.R.S.

  Lisa Wootton: “Came here to forget” by Blake Shelton

  Lizzie Donaldson: “Victim Of Love” by Erasure

  Louise Sparrow: “Gigi D’Agostino bla bla bla” by zyxdance

  Mandy Moran, Kristi Reynolds Hammond, Kathryn Synoracki Dillard, Dawn Trampe, Jessica Ramos, and Beth Webb: “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard

  Manika Pathak: “This Is What You Came For” Calvin Harris ft Rihanna

  Martha Foman: “Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake

  Mary Schanz: “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer

  Melba Solis Zuniga: “Enter The Sandman” by Metallica

  Micelle Daly: Anita Leigh Breau: “Raise Your Glass” by Pink

  Michelle Sarra: “Walk This Way” by Aerosmith

  Monica Woodmansee: “Just Dance” by Cotton Eyed Joe

  Monique Daoust: “Dancing Queen” by Abba

  Nadine Crago: “The Boys Are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy

  Nadine Nicholson: “Old Time Rock And Roll” by Bob Seger

  Nancy Huber: “She’s A Brick House”

  Natalie Person: “This Is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan

  Niamh Mc Shane: “Rock The Boat” by Hues Corporation

  Nic Smith: “Keep On Moving” by Five

  Nicola Heatley-Willis: “Better The Devil You Know” by Kylie Minogue

  Patrice Williams: “The Near Future” by Irving Berlin

  Paula Ryan: “Kiss Me Deadly” by Lita Ford

  Peggy Walther: “Up Around The Bend” by Creedence Clearwater Revival

  Rachel Goakes: “Barracuda” by Heart

  Rebecca Stoltzfus: “Formation” by Beyoncé

  Regina R Olivares: “Nobody But Me” by Michael Buble

  Rita Richards: “Animal”

  Robyn Rison: “Your Entertainment” by Adam Lambert

  Samantha Gelman: “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix A Lot

  Samantha Johnson: “Stuck in your head” by I Prevail

  Sandra Rambin Neeley: “Drink in my hand” by Eric Church

  Sandy Hammond Ambrose: “Burn It To The Ground” by Nickelback

  Sarah Cash: “Jump Around” by House of Pain

  Sherae Ballanger Brown: “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” by Bon Jovi

  Shurlea Koger: “Taking Care Of Business” by Bachman–Turner Overdrive

  Simone Abraham: “My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark” by Fall Out Boy

  Sophie Phipps: “Work It” by Missy Elliott

  Teri Berry: “I Wanna Rock N Roll All Night” by KISS

  Terri Casolaro Seminuk: “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang

  Terry Austin: “One Wild Night” by Bon Jovi

  Terry Plumart: “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO

  Tina Lynn: “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister

  Tobias Chintz: “Purity Ring” by Fineshrine

  Toni Galligan: “Party Up” by DMX

  Tonya Vertrees Jacobs: “Rockin Into The Night” by 38 special

  Tracie Tough: “Ride On Time” by Black Box

  Tracy Breed: “Let The Music Play” by Shannon

  Trenna Harris: “Rock N Roll All Night” by KISS

  Wendy Renwall: “Sanchez Sugar” by Maroon 5

  Yvette Grimes: “Yeah!” by Usher ft. Lil Jon, Ludacris

  Yvonne Nickson: “Love Shack” by The B52s

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  I can never give enough thanks to the awesome people in my life who help get these books done, but I’ll try anyway! Kylie Gilmore, Dali, Ally, Latoya, Pau
line, and Paul…THANK YOU!

  A big thank you to my Street Team, the pimp-masters and raging lunatics who keep me inspired with hotties.

  And a giant hug to my men—Javi, Seb, and Stef. Thank you for folding clothes and making sure I’m fed occasionally.

  With Love,

  Mimi

  UPCOMING RELEASES

  Get ready! Coming January 31, 2017

  The Finale of the King Series

  For BUY LINKS, EXCERPTS, AND MORE:

  www.mimijean.net/king_trilogy_books.html

  DON’T MISS OUT ON NEW IMMORTAL RELEASES!

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  Character Definitions

  The Gods

  Although every culture around the world has their own names and beliefs related to beings of worship, there are actually only fourteen gods. And since the gods are able to access the human world only through the portals called cenotes, located in the Yucatán, the Mayans were big fans.

  Another fun fact: The gods often refer to each other as brother and sister, but the truth is they are just another species of the Creator and completely unrelated.

  Acan—God of Wine and Intoxication: Also known as Belch, Acan has been drunk for many millennia. He generally wears only tightie whities, but since he’s the life of the party, he’s been known to mix it up and go naked, too. Whatever works.

  Ah-Ciliz—God of Solar Eclipses: Called A.C. by his brethren, Ah-Ciliz is generally thought of as a giant buzz kill because of his dark attitude.

  Akna—Goddess of Fertility: She is so powerful, it is said she can make inanimate objects fornicate and that anyone who gets in the same room as her ends up pregnant. She is often seen hanging out with her brother Acan at parties.

  Backlum Chaam—God of Male Virility: He’s responsible for discovering black jade and figuring out how to procreate with humans.

  Camaxtli—Goddess of the Hunt: Also once known as Fate until she was discovered to be a fake and had her powers stripped away by the Universe. She’s now referred to as “Fake.”