by E. L. Todd
He stayed where he was, his thoughts unknown.
I wanted to close the distance myself. Courage had formed in my bones and now it was pushing me forward. I decided to go for it, not afraid to see what might happen. Just as I decided to lean in, he pulled back.
“I…I should go.” He stepped back and looked away, like something just gripped him by the throat and squeezed. I hadn’t leaned in so I knew my intent hadn’t pushed him away. It was something else, something I couldn’t figure out. “Good night, Aspen.” Without waiting for me to enter my apartment, he walked away.
And I missed him.
***
Jane spoke over the intercom on my desk phone. Her voice was low. “Ms. Lane, Isabella is in the building. I just thought I should warn you.”
Just hearing that witch’s name made me angry. “Thank you, Jane.” I decided to stay in my office so there was no possibility of running into her. She was my mother’s sister’s daughter so I wasn’t sure why she was here. My father wasn’t particularly close with anyone, especially her.
I tried not to think about it, and instead thought of the man who consumed my thoughts on an hourly basis. Rhett and I had journeyed into dangerous territory the other night. I was beginning to believe there was something between us, that we could have everything I wanted.
But something held him back. I didn’t know what it was and I doubt he would tell me. I hadn’t called or sought him out since then. If he needed space to figure it out, I would give it to him. Perhaps his hesitance came from his work situation. Being romantically involved with me was breaking one of his own rules, and I’m sure he made those rules for a reason. And I couldn’t fire him as my escort because losing Rhett would sabotage my plan for the company.
“You can’t go in there!” Jane’s voice shattered my thoughts. “Ma’am?”
“Do I look old to you?” a woman hissed outside my door. It sounded just like Isabella.
Did she come all the way down here just to taunt me? That’s how pathetic she was.
“I’ll call security,” Jane threatened.
“Go ahead,” Isabella said. “See what happens to your job when you do.” She opened the door then stepped inside with the stiffness of a queen. An evil sneer was on her lips, and whatever she wanted to say would obviously bring her immense satisfaction.
I stared at her blankly like her presence didn’t affect me whatsoever.
“Hey, Aspen.” She put her hand on her hip then flipped her hair over one shoulder. “I just got my hair done. You like?”
“Is troll the new look?”
She gave me a disgusted sneer. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here…”
“No, but I am wondering when you’ll be leaving.”
“Ha,” she said sarcastically. “So funny. Aspen was always the smart one…”
“What do you want?” I asked with a bored voice.
“Oh, I don’t want anything,” she said. “I just came by to share a bit of news.”
“That face transplant has been approved?” I asked. “Good. You won’t be hideous forever.”
“How hideous can I be when John wants to fuck me instead of you?”
That was low and she knew it. But I acted like the words meant nothing to me, like they didn’t hurt me and rip me to pieces. I was over John, but I would never be over what happened.
“Your father just gave his approval to have the wedding at his mansion in Connecticut.” She gloated openly, not bothering to have any grace about it. “Isn’t that wonderful? It’s the same venue you and John had in mind. It’s interesting how things work out, huh?”
I kept a blank expression but I was livid. Isabella didn’t matter to me, but the fact my father would host a wedding to a man who was supposed to marry me was a slap in the face. He was obviously doing it to improve his public image. But he cared more about that than his daughter. Why did his heinous acts still surprise me?
Isabella smiled, knowing she got me right where it hurt. “Well, have a wonderful day.” She gave me the fakest smile I’d ever seen then waved like a princess. “I’ll be seeing you.” She walked out then laughed when she closed the door.
I rested my head on my desk for a few minutes before I pressed the intercom to speak to Jane. “Cancel all my meetings for the rest of the day and don’t bother me for any reason.”
Her voice came out sad. “Yes, Ms. Lane.”
Rhett
The stars in her eyes glittered like they were winking at me, enticing me to move in and seal my mouth against hers. The soft strands of hair framed her face, inviting me to touch them with my fingers during a heated embrace. Everything about her drew me in, from her looks to her heart, and even her smell.
I almost ruined everything.
If I leaned in, it would have changed the relationship irrevocably. It could have been damaged to the point where it was unfixable. It was becoming undeniably clear that my feelings toward Aspen weren’t friendly in nature at all. They were strong, passionate, and powerful.
But she told me, on several occasions, she wasn’t dating right now. Whatever happened in her past changed her future. She wasn’t looking for a boyfriend or anything serious. If I overstepped my boundary, I could lose her altogether.
But sometimes, I imagined that her feelings were the same. She smiled at me in a way she didn’t smile for anyone else. Her eyes were brighter than normal, and she laughed more with me than she did with Harper. Did we have a great time together because we were so similar? Or was it because of another reason?
Overall, all I knew was I’d never had a relationship like this with another woman. They were usually physical and superficial. I met tons of women I was immensely attracted to, and that steered the course of the relationship. But I never felt this way for a woman, where I wanted to hear her speak more than see her naked.
Aspen had become my best friend.
And I almost ruined that by kissing her like an idiot. When we stood in front of her door, there was tension in the air. She asked if I really said those superficial things about her being sexy with a perfect body.
I didn’t deny it.
It was pointless to deny an attraction to her. She wasn’t oblivious to her looks, so if I said her appearance didn’t do anything for me, we would both know I was full of shit.
I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. My conversation with Troy came back to me.
“You’re so in love with this girl,” he said. “First, her number, now your address. You better be in love with her otherwise she’s going to murder you.”
“I’m not in love with her.” I eyed Aspen out of the corner of my eye, seeing her talk to Harper.
“Let’s cut the shit, alright?” he said. “The second you saw her it was like a scene from Romeo and Juliet. Who hugs a friend for five damn minutes?”
I didn’t have an excuse for that. When she moved into my chest and hugged me, I didn’t want to let go. The only reason I did was because she pulled away first. “We’re just…really good friends.”
Troy looked like he was going to smash a beer bottle over my head. “Nobody in this room believes that so don’t bother. If you’re into this girl, you need to terminate her as your client. You can’t keep this up.”
“She needs me. I can’t do that.”
“You’re going to get us into a lawsuit for prostitution,” he snapped. “Sleeping with her and accepting cash is prostitution.”
“I haven’t slept with her.”
“Yet,” he corrected.
“I won’t,” I said firmly.
He sighed. “Seriously, why don’t you just drop her as a client then ask her out? It’s what you want. And I admit, she is a perfect ten.”
“One, I need to finish what I promised her I would do. Two, she said, several times, that she’s not dating right now.”
“Then be fuck buddies with her.” Troy said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“She’s not like that and that’s
not what I want.”
“Just tell her how you feel. She clearly feels the same way.”
“I’m really not sure…” Sometimes I thought she did and sometimes I thought she didn’t.
“Then you’re blind,” he said simply. “Stop being a pussy and just tell her how you feel. Who cares if she rejects you? When have you ever been afraid?”
“Never,” I said. “But I’ve never felt this way about anyone before…”
“At least you admit it,” he said as he rolled his eyes.
“It’s too risky,” I said. “If she doesn’t feel the same way, I lose her altogether. If I make her uncomfortable, not only will she want nothing to do with me, but I’ll ruin her chance of getting the company. I can’t be selfish just to get what I want.”
“Then what?” he asked. “What are you going to do?”
I rubbed the back of my neck while I considered the possibilities. “When our professional relationship is over, I’ll go for it.”
“At least we’re getting somewhere,” he said.
I continued to stare at the ceiling while the clock on my nightstand clicked distantly. Aspen’s face came into my mind, and her image lulled me to sleep. When my thoughts drifted and became blurred, I knew I was asleep.
Then my dreams became livid and intense. Blinding emotions ripped through me, and the visions felt real. They were the kind of dreams I never wanted to end, the kind that made me want to remain asleep forever just to cherish.
In my dream, I lay on the bed with my back resting against the headboard. I was naked, and Aspen straddled my lap, her naked skin visible for me to enjoy. Her voluptuous tits were in my face and they shook every time she moved. Aspen gripped my shoulders while she rode me, taking in my shaft over and over. Every time I stretched her, she moaned dramatically, like sex had never felt so good in her life. My hands moved to her waist and I guided her up and down quicker, feeling the intense pleasure start at the tip of my cock and radiate everywhere. I breathed hard, and then suddenly, the vision ended and I was awoken.
I tried to catch the dream again by keeping my eyes closed but it never returned. I was suddenly aware of how warm I was. Sweat was on my chest and forehead. I kicked the blankets back and realized my cock was rock hard.
I took a deep breath, irritated my dream had faded. I still remembered the way Aspen looked while she rode me. I’d never seen something so beautiful in my life. Now my cock was throbbing and I was horny as hell. I wanted release but I wanted Aspen more. I wish she were here. I wish I could make love to her.
But she wasn’t.
I peeled off my boxers then pulled out the lotion from my nightstand. My fingers wrapped around my shaft and I gave myself long even strokes, the kind I imagined I would give Aspen. The dream was gone but I tried to replicate it in my mind. I imagined her moans as she felt me inside her. Her pace matched the movement of my hand and I pretended my palm was the inside of her. Her tits bounced with every thrust she made. Her hands gripped my shoulders as she used them to move up and down.
I felt the burn deep in my groin then the tip of my cock. I tensed everywhere as I prepared for the climax that would make me groan. Aspen moved into me harder, giving me that extra push. Her green eyes brightened to emeralds as she gave me the pleasure I wanted. That playful look was on her lips, sexy and tantalizing.
I took a deep breath then felt the greatest pleasure I’d ever known. A moan escaped my lips involuntarily. My body tensed as I released then relaxed and I filled my hand.
I lay there for minutes, feeling satisfied but guilty at the same time. Aspen was my friend and someone I really cared about. Jerking off and thinking about her made me a perverted asshole. But I couldn’t help it. She was what I wanted.
Obviously, my feelings for her were stronger than I realized. It snuck up on me, happening quickly and suddenly. The first time I saw her, she was wearing a green dress and her eyes immediately caught my notice. I wondered why a gorgeous woman like her needed to pay a man like me. I think, even then, I was falling for her.
***
The game was on in the background and the lasagna was in the oven. Aspen and I hadn’t spoken in almost a week. She was on my mind constantly, and there were times when I found myself dialing her number just to talk to her. I missed playing Battleship with her. I missed looking at her.
Just as the thoughts entered my mind, my phone rang.
It was Aspen.
I cleared my throat and tried to sound cool and natural before I answered. “C3.”
“Why do you bother?”
I chuckled. “One of these days, I’ll best you.”
“You’re allowed to dream.”
I smiled even though she couldn’t see me. She always put me in a good mood. Our last interaction was awkward. I was going to kiss her but stopped myself. I hoped she didn’t know what I was thinking. If she was a mind reader, she would know how much I wanted her. And that would be bad. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.” Her voice immediately changed. It sounded different. It wasn’t upbeat like it was a moment ago. It contained a hint of sadness.
“Are you okay?”
“I just had a bad day. I’m sorry to call you…I hope I’m not bothering you.”
“You never bother me,” I said immediately. She could call me whenever she wanted. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Actually, no,” she said quietly. “It just gets me worked up all over again.”
I suspected it was about her father. No wonder she didn’t want to mention it. “I’m making lasagna. Want to come over for dinner?” I didn’t think when I spoke anymore. Being around her in the privacy of my home was probably a bad idea. But I couldn’t find the strength to remain professional. I wanted to be with her all the time. When I saw her talking to that guy in the bar, I admit I was jealous. I didn’t know how to handle the emotion since I’d never felt it before.
“Uh, sure.” She sounded hesitant.
Was it because of our last meeting? “We don’t have to watch Criminal Minds.”
She chuckled into the phone, and her voice sounded beautiful. “That’s a relief.”
“Come over,” I said. “We’ll have a good time.”
“Okay.” She sounded more enthused than before.
“I’ll come get you.”
“No, it’s okay,” she said immediately. “I can manage the walk alone. I haven’t watched anything scary lately.”
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye.”
Once I was off the phone, I tidied up my apartment and prepared the table. Half an hour later, she knocked on the door, announcing her presence. I opened it and felt my mouth stretch into a smile at the sight of her. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She lifted up a bottle of wine. “I got something good this time.”
I laughed then examined it. “It looks good.”
“And it doesn’t taste like mango,” she teased. She had another bag in her hand but she didn’t tell me what it was.
Every time I looked at her, I felt myself fall further. Her joy was refreshing, and even on a bad day, she found a reason to laugh. Without thinking, I pulled her into my chest and hugged her with one arm. Her scent came into my nose and her body felt right against mine. “I’m sorry you had a bad day.”
“It’s better now,” she said as she returned the embrace.
I reluctantly pulled away, knowing the hug would linger indefinitely if I didn’t move. “Dinner is ready.”
“A home-cooked meal? Yum.”
I put the lasagna on the kitchen table and we ate quietly.
“Is this vegetable lasagna?” she asked.
“I have to sneak vegetables into my food otherwise I won’t eat them.” I poured two glasses of wine then returned to eating.
Her lips stretched into a grin. “Pretty smart. The last time I ate lasagna, I told the waiter I wanted it extra greasy. And then I ate all of it.” She shrugged at the end and didn’t seem embarrassed.
>
“That’s hot,” I blurted.
“What?” she asked with a laugh. “A woman eating like a fatass?”
“Actually, yeah,” I said. “Most of the time, girls order salad with no dressing and just squeeze lemon on top. It’s lame.”
“I think it sounds healthy.”
I shrugged. “Do you go out to eat healthy?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever ordered a salad in my life.”
“I knew I liked you for a reason.”
Her lips pressed tightly together in a smile then she sipped her wine. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything, Aspen.” Only she had that privilege.
“Do you work out every day?”
“I box every morning except Sundays. I do weight training as well.”
“That’s dedication,” she said.
I shrugged. “I can’t be an escort unless I’m in great shape.”
“I could never do what you do. I haven’t stepped foot inside a gym since…” She thought for a moment. “I can’t even remember.”
“I would never suspect that by looking at you.” She already knew I thought she had a nice body so I didn’t see the point in hiding it.
“I jog. That saves me.”
I finished my plate then ate a piece of garlic bread.
“Can I ask you something else?”
I nodded.
“Why don’t you live with your brother? Wouldn’t that be easier?”
I shook my head immediately. “I refuse to live in the dark like he does—literally. When I go to his apartment, I can only hang around for a few hours because my eyes start to hurt. Plus, I need my own space. This phobia of his is something he makes up so I refuse to sacrifice my life to wait on him hand and foot. He needs to be independent and understand I’m not always around to help him.”
She nodded. “That’s understandable.”
“I love my brother but I couldn’t live with him.”
“He doesn’t work?”
“He does but doesn’t make enough to support himself.”
“You’re a good brother,” she said quietly.
“At the end of the day, we always have each other,” I said.
“Yeah,” she agreed. She cleared her throat and chose her next words carefully. “Have you ever…sought professional help?”