by E. L. Todd
I would never forget the attempt. “It was a disaster.”
She stopped eating and gave me her full attention.
“I admitted him into a therapy ward for psychoanalysis. The doctors were supposed to help him overcome his fears until they disappeared altogether but…Chase didn’t make any progress. He cowered into a ball and screamed indefinitely. He didn’t eat or sleep for seven days straight because he was so scared. Doctors feared he would die if he went a few more days without food. So I took him home.”
“Why didn’t they give him a sedative?”
“I told them they couldn’t give him drugs. He just needed someone to talk to. It was painful to watch him go through that and I haven’t taken him back since. His illness reduces his quality of life but...it’s better than going through that again.”
She nodded. “I can imagine…”
“I don’t think he’ll ever get over it, unfortunately.” I tried not to let Chase’s situation weigh me down. But sometimes it made me sad. “But he seems happy. He gets laid whenever he wants, he has friends, and he does what he wants—for the most part.”
“He gets laid?” she asked in surprise.
“Oh yeah,” I said with a laugh. “The girls like him. They think he’s eccentric.” I shrugged.
She smiled. “Go, Chase.”
“He has more game than I do.”
“I find that hard to believe,” she blurted. She seemed to realize her mistake because she didn’t look at me. “I got something that might help. I hope it doesn’t offend you.”
“You could never offend me, Aspen.”
She picked up a bag that had the Target logo on it. Then she pulled out a plastic sword. The blade was yellow, and the rest of the pieces were black. “I think the best thing for Chase is to eradicate the problem altogether so he can live a normal life. But since you’ve already tried that…this might help.”
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
“He thinks he’s safe with your invisible Shadow Sword but he won’t take it from you. So, what if we left this on his doorstep? Like someone put it there? Then we’ll tell him it’s another Shadow Sword. He can wear it when he goes out, in the daylight or at night, and he won’t be afraid. It doesn’t remove the phobia altogether but at least he can live a normal life. It glows in the dark too.”
I eyed the sword on the table then picked it up. I examined it and felt its lightness in my hand. “I’ve never thought of that…”
She shrugged. “It might work. It’s worth a shot, right?”
“Yeah.” I turned it over and saw the engraving on the side. Shadow Sword. “This is a great idea.”
She smiled. “People might think it’s weird if he carries a plastic sword everywhere he goes but it’s the lesser evil.”
“It is.” I felt the sword in my hand then placed it on the table. “Want to head over there now?”
Her eyes lit up. “Okay.”
***
We set the sword on his doorstep with the Shadow Sword engraving on the surface. I knocked then we quickly ran down the hall and hid behind the corner. We listened as we heard the door crack.
I knew Chase would look through the peephole first then spot the sword on the ground. He would be too intrigued not to open the door. Wearing his blanket made of foil, he emerged then grabbed the sword.
Aspen and I peered around the corner and watched him.
He held the sword by the hilt then touched the yellow blade. His fingers rubbed against the engraving then he spun it around his wrist. His body relaxed and the foil blanket fell away slightly.
“I think it’s working,” I whispered.
Chase spun it in his fingers again then walked back into his apartment.
I turned to Aspen. “He took it. That’s a good sign.”
“He let the blanket fall,” she said. “I think he feels safe with it.”
My phone rang. When I pulled it out of my pocket, I saw Chase’s name on the screen. “It’s him.”
“Answer it,” she said quickly. She moved next to the phone so she could listen to him on the other line.
“Hey, Chase,” I said casually.
“Dude, you’ll never guess what happened.”
“You finally learned how to not pee all over the toilet seat?” I teased.
“No.” He didn’t bother insulting me back. “Someone left a Shadow Sword on my doorstep.”
Chase was incredibly intelligent and quick witted. The fact he reverted to childhood mentality when it came to this subject was difficult for me to understand. Perhaps the trauma of my parents' death affected him so deeply this was the only way he could cope. I refused to judge him for that. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he said. “It’s even engraved. And it glows in the dark.”
“Wow,” I said. “Now the shadows can’t hurt you either. That’s great.”
“Yeah…” He was quiet for a while. “This is incredible.”
“Now you can go out in the daylight freely,” I said.
“Well, I haven’t tried it out…”
“Then take it for a spin.”
“I’m not going to do that by myself,” he said immediately. “Can you come over?”
“Sure. Aspen and I just left that Chinese place we like. We’ll be there in five minutes.”
“Okay,” he said. “She’s cute so bring her. She’s single, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think she’s into guys who are afraid of the dark.”
“It’s shadows,” he said. “And I may not be anymore.”
“We’ll be there in a few minutes.” I hung up.
Aspen smiled in excitement. “This might actually work.”
“I know.” It was hard to believe. My brother was so close to having a normal life. And that was because of Aspen.
After we waited ten minutes, we knocked on his door.
It cracked like he’d been expecting us.
“Turn off the lights,” he said.
“You have the sword. You’ll be fine,” I said.
“Okay,” he said. “I’m coming out without my blanket.”
“Okay.” I tried not to laugh because this fear was so ridiculous.
He stepped out with the sword tied to his belt. He looked around like something might get him any second. His eyes were wide and his body was rigid.
“The sword works,” I said in excitement. “This is great.”
“Wait,” Chase said. “You have your sword. What if that’s why they aren’t attacking?”
“I’ll take it off in your apartment,” I said. “Then we’ll see.”
Chase looked terrified. “Uh…”
“It’ll be fine,” I said. “Worse comes to worse, I’ll run in and grab it.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Okay.”
I walked into his apartment, pretended to remove a fake sword, and then walked back into the hallway. “It’s gone.”
Chase gripped the sword and looked around, waiting for something to happen.
I crossed my arms over my chest and tried not to laugh.
Aspen looked around, like she was searching for the shadows Chase swore existed. “That’s a powerful sword,” she said. “They won’t even come near us.”
“Yeah,” I added. “That sword is stronger than mine.”
Chase seemed to relax. “They aren’t coming…”
“It’s because of the sword,” I said. “It’s undefeatable.”
“Yeah,” Chase agreed. “I think so…” He walked down the hallway and looked around. Then he came back to me. “Now they’re scared of me.”
“They should be,” I said seriously.
“Now I know how you feel,” Chase said. “Nothing can hurt you.”
“Exactly,” he said.
He released the hilt then crossed his arms over his chest. “Wow…I need to redo my apartment.”
I tried not to laugh. “Yeah…get some lights or something.”
“I can’t wai
t until the sun rises,” Chase said. “I’m going to go to Starbucks and see what all the fuss is about.”
His words made me sad. He missed out on such simple things because of this phobia. It just made me appreciate his change all the more. “Yeah…”
“And I’m going to jog in the park,” he said excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
“Yeah.” I took a deep breath and tried not to get emotional.
“Hey,” Chase said with wide eyes. “You want to get breakfast tomorrow?”
I took a deep breath and tried not to cry. “I’d love to, man.”
“Then we can walk through the park.” He paced the hallway excitedly. “Then we have to go to Little Italy.”
“Whatever you want.” I tried to keep my emotion in check.
“Sweet,” Chase said. “I can pick up girls in the daylight now.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“I’m going to go inside and start looking for a new job,” he said. “Preferably something with a window.”
“There’s no rush,” I said.
“I wonder who left the sword,” he said.
I shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He spun his sword around like he was about to fight someone. Then he walked into his apartment and shut the door.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, unable to believe that really just happened.
Aspen touched my shoulder gently. “You okay?”
My eyes burned with tears. “I…I never thought this would happen.”
Her eyes matched mine. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you so much.” I lowered my hand and looked at her. “This is all because of you. You’ve given me my brother back.”
She rubbed me for a moment before dropping her hand. “It’s because of both of us.”
The door opened again and Chase look panicked. “Dude, you forgot your sword.”
I forgot that I left the imaginary weapon in his apartment.
“You need it otherwise they’ll get you.”
“No, they won’t,” I said quietly. I looked at my brother, finally seeing him in a different way. I imagined us walking together in the park, acting like normal people on our day off. We’d get breakfast together then discuss sports and music. The world offered endless possibilities and we could experience all of them. “Because I have you.”
***
Aspen and I sat on my couch and watched SpongeBob SquarePants.
“You like this show?” I asked.
“Yeah. It’s funny.” She sat beside me with her knees pulled to her chest. I noticed she always sat that way when we were alone together. It was like she was restraining herself.
“I’ve never met a girl who likes cartoons.”
“I love cartoons,” she said. “Sometimes you just need something mindless to recharge your brain.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“My job can be really stressful, and if I make a mistake, it affects thousands of people. When I get home, it’s nice to be entertained by something that doesn’t require any thought.”
“I don’t think it’s mindless,” I said with a grin. “I think it’s inspirational, intelligent, and engaging.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked playfully.
“Yep. This guy lives in a pineapple under the sea. The symbolism of that is astounding. It represents the middle class of the American people, having houses so perishable while they drown under the weight of the high cost of living, taxes, and healthcare they can’t afford.”
She turned to me, a slight smirk on her lips. “That got dark real quick…”
I laughed then sank back into the couch. “It did, huh?”
“Let’s just enjoy the show superficially and let it be mindless.”
“That does sound better.” Feeling buoyant from my brother’s new life, and sharing endless laughs with Aspen, I put my arm around her shoulders. The courage stemmed from deep within, and I didn’t think about my actions until they were completed.
She didn’t react to the touch. It was like she expected it to happen—or even wanted it to happen.
We watched a few episodes, laughing at the ridiculous parts until it grew late. I was tired and I suspected she was too. But I didn’t want her to leave. I hoped she didn’t either.
Her head moved to my shoulder, and her hair scattered down my shirt. One strand touched my neck, and its softness reminded me of the dirty dream I had about her. And the daydream I had afterward while I jerked off. My cheeks blushed and my cock hardened.
I moved my head to the armrest of the couch and lay down, pulling Aspen with me. She didn’t hesitate. In a fluid motion, she moved with me. Her head rested on my shoulder and her hair sprawled out across my chest. She moved her hand around my waist. One leg tucked between mine.
I was in heaven.
I’d never laid on the couch and watched TV with a girl. Any time a girl came to my apartment, we got down to business in my bedroom. I fucked her on my sheets then called a cab the next morning. We didn’t cuddle during the night. She stayed on her side of the bed and I stayed on mine.
But I broke all my habits and rules for Aspen.
She was light while she lay on top of me. My hand wrapped around her waist then rested on her hip. The curve of her body was noticeable to me. She had an hourglass figure, a slim waist with noticeable hips that led to tone thighs. She had long legs, and I often imagined them wrapped around my waist. The scent of vanilla came to my nose, and I breathed it in and felt my body relax. Instead of watching the TV, I watched her. Her hand rested on my stomach while she held me. We were wrapped around one another like we fit perfectly together. I’d crossed so many lines already that I decided to cross more. My left hand moved to hers, and I intertwined our fingers together.
Her hand immediately reciprocated, and she released a quiet sigh, like she was ready to fall asleep.
I continued to stare at her, forgetting the show, until my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep.
***
When I woke up, the TV was off. The time on the DVR said it was two in the morning. Aspen was in the same place she was before she fell asleep. Our hands were still linked together.
The armrest was uncomfortable for my neck and my bed called my name. I’d rather sleep in there. I doubted Aspen would mind. Careful not to wake her up, I moved from under her then lifted her from the couch. She was feather-light like I expected.
I laid her on the bed then pulled her shoes off. Then I tucked her into the sheets and removed my shirt and jeans. Just wearing my boxers, I got into bed beside her.
Aspen stirred then squinted her eyes. She looked at me, half-asleep, and then moved into me. Her arm curled around my waist and she inserted her leg between mine. Aggressive like never before, she cuddled with me like she needed me. I moved against her and held her tightly.
Then we fell asleep again.
***
When I woke up the next morning, I realized I’d broken another rule.
I slept with her.
We didn’t have sex but she still slept with me in my bed. Now there was only one rule left unbroken.
Kissing.
I had to hold out and not make the move. I had to wait until Aspen no longer needed me to get her company. Then I’d move in and ask her to be mine. I’d kiss her like she’s never been kissed before.
I just had to be patient.
I opened my eyes and stared at Aspen. She was wrapped around me tightly, sleeping peacefully. The sunlight drifted through the window and highlighted her fair skin. Her brown hair cascaded around her. If her lips were swollen, it would look like we’d had a rendezvous the night before. Just the thought alone made me hard. I only wore boxers so I hoped she didn’t notice my morning wood.
Aspen sighed then her eyes fluttered open. She took me in for a moment then she closed her eyes again. “How do you get up in the morning?” Her words came out garbled and incoherent.
“Sorry?” I tried not to laugh.
“Your bed is so comfortable.” Her words were sharper that time. “How do you get up in the morning?”
“I don’t,” I said. “Now you know why I’m a night owl.”
“I understand perfectly.” Her hand moved across my stomach to my chest. Then it rested there. She seemed to understand I was shirtless because her eyes popped open. She stared at my naked chest then abruptly closed her eyes.
A cocky grin stretched my lips. “Did you just check me out?”
“No…”
“I saw you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
“Just admit it.” I leaned over her, pressuring her with my proximity.
Her eyes opened again and her leg shifted around my waist.
My hard cock was pressed against her thigh and I realized my mistake moving against her like this. But the damage was done.
Her breathing increased and she just stared at me, her eyes brighter than I’d ever seen them.
Fuck, this was dangerous.
I wanted to lean in and kiss her. I’d imagined feeling her lips against mine countless times. I was so close. She was under me, in my bed. I wanted to roll around on my sheets, sucking those lips and touching her in all the places I fantasized about.
Before I did something stupid, I moved to my back. “I’m meeting Chase soon… I should get ready.”
She stayed in her spot. “Yeah…you guys will have a good time.”
I got out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt. “I’ll walk you home.”
“I can manage.” She got up then fixed her hair with her fingers. “It’s not dark.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “I don’t mind.”
“It’s fine, really.” She rubbed the wrinkles from her dress then slipped on her shoes.
I pulled on my sweatpants to hide my obvious hard-on, not that it made a difference now. She felt it pressed against her thigh. She knew how hard it was and how much I wanted her.
I walked her to the door, feeling awkward for my stupidity. I came onto her while we were lying in bed. I pressed my cock against her like a jerk. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to sleep with her. I wasn’t. I mean, I wanted to. But I wanted a lot more than that. “Thanks for helping out with my brother. You have no idea how much it means to me.” I thought it was best to change the subject. I may have made a stupid move but I also pulled away when I realized how badly she could interpret my actions.