Follow Your Arrow

by A. M. Willard

  A part of me wants to head across the street to Leslie. I want to witness her expression as she reads what I’ve written in the past. While the other half says to finish this manuscript and get the hell out of here. Because nothing that I do right now will hold up in the end if she reads this one. I know this, but since when have I followed the rules? I’ve lived by Nan’s words for most of my life, and so far they’ve not steered me wrong.

  I close my laptop, grab my keys and phone before heading down to the kitchen.

  “Jesus, you scared the crap out of me, Justin!” Haddie screams as she holds her chest.

  “Sorry, I wanted to see if you could make me two coffees to go.”

  “Coffee? At this hour? Do you not plan on sleeping?”

  “One’s for me and the other’s for Leslie,” I say with a smile.

  “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing, she’s reading and from the looks of it, she’s in for a long night.”

  “You don’t need coffee, she’ll take a tea for her evening reading,” Haddie states before she turns around and walks over to the cabinet where she keeps a stash of tea bags.

  I watch her carefully, taking in the way she knows exactly how Leslie likes it.

  “Here, one coffee for you and one tea for my girl. Now, don’t keep her up all night, she gets grumpy without sleep,” Haddie says, thrusting two to-go cups at me.

  I hold up two fingers. “Scouts honor, I’ll make her sleep,” I tell her as I take the cups from her hands. Haddie follows me to the front door, opening it so I can exit without spilling her hard work. I notice there’s a small light on downstairs, but she’s still up in the window of her loft. Taking my steps a little faster, I cross the street and take the stairs two at a time until I’m shifting the cups and knocking on the door.

  “What are you doing?” she says as she swings the door open to greet me. I can’t help but take in her appearance. Her long ginger hair is up in some crazy, wild ponytail; she’s covered in her cotton pajamas. This look, I love it on her. It’s Leslie. The women of my past, they’d never been seen in anything other than silk or lace. Not the girl before me. Her soft gray shirt hangs a little loose from her shoulders, showcasing a thin line of skin while her mint green and coral pajama pants hang from her hips. She’s comfortable. She’s in her element where she feels safe.

  Thrusting out her cup, I mimic Haddie’s action just moments ago. “Tea for reading.”

  “Did you make this, or Haddie?” she questions as I’m still standing outside.

  “Haddie, I was bringing coffee before I was corrected.”

  “Fine, come on in.” Leslie sidesteps, opening the door a little wider for me to enter. I take in the way the loft smells of her—jasmine, and honeysuckles.

  “Thought you would like company,” I state as I make myself comfortable on her sofa.

  “You thought I’d like company while reading? Do you not see the problem with that statement?”

  “No, you read and I’m the company. No problem.”

  “Other than the fact that you’ll be staring at me while I read your book.”

  “Exactly, plus I bought you tea, and I could classify this as the third date.”

  “A date where I’m in my pajamas?”

  “Does it count that you still look beautiful?”

  “No, I’m a hot mess who’s about ready for bed, and you should be getting some sleep so you can finish that book of yours.”

  “Let’s call this research, shall we.” I stand and walk a little closer to her. Inches away, I sweep out my hand and push the fallen hair from her face so I can see her eyes. I can hear Leslie swallow before she asks, “What kind of research?”

  “This,” I say before leaning down to claim her mouth with mine. I’ve been dying to taste her lips again since that first day I returned. The feeling that something bad or good is about to happen causes me to quicken my movements. Before I know what’s happening, my hands are threading through the back of her hair, pulling her closer to me. I deepen our kiss like I need her air to live. A soft moan from her throat fuels me. On cue, my legs move us backward toward her bed. Leslie isn’t fighting me on this like I thought she would be. I slow my actions, breaking apart just enough to rest my forehead against hers.

  “You sure about this?”

  “No and yes, just… stop talking or I’ll come back to reality.”

  Quickly, I stop talking and reclaim what I lost all those years ago. It’s always been her lips that I could picture through the years. The way they always taste like cherries even when she’s not reapplied her chapstick. It’s just the way that she tastes and feels underneath my touch that fuels my desire to break all the rules I came here with. Our bodies drop down to the bed. I know I should stop this; we shouldn’t cross this line, but I can’t help the way I feel.

  “Stop me, Leslie. I’m trying to be the good guy here, but it’s hard.”

  I know she hears me. “I know this isn’t a long-term commitment; this is just two adults having fun, Justin.”

  “This isn’t logical, but right now I want to throw all logic out the window.”

  “That makes two of us,” she says before she pulls my face closer to hers. That’s all the encouragement I need. Right now, I’m content with kissing every square inch of her body. Without breaking eye contact, I lean up to pull my shirt off and toss it to the floor. Leslie mirrors my actions as she rids her body from her top. Laying there staring back up at me is the most perfect sight that I’ve ever seen. Her body on showcase for me and only me. Her chest rises and falls quickly with the anticipation of what I’ll do next. Her eyes are glazed over with lust as she asks, “What is it that you want, Justin?”

  “You, all of you.”

  With her words inspiring me, I find more than just words to give Leslie I give her all of me, maybe for the first time ever. In the past when we were young, we were stupid and inexperienced. Now, we’re both older and know what we want from our partner. We know how to express our needs without words. Right now, I don’t need a script to tell me how to please her. Her moans and cries out to the world are more than enough.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Leslie

  One Week Later

  “Justin,” I whisper sleepily against his neck. He slowly lifts his head, turning to look at me as I smile up at him. It’s been a week since we first slept together. A week since the air has shifted between us. I knew that night would change how I felt about him. As much as I tell my heart that this is only temporary, it doesn’t listen.

  “Morning,” his deep raspy voice vibrates against the side of my face as I try to not move from this position.

  “Morning, sleep well?”

  “I did, you?”

  “Yes,” I respond, but it’s weak.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I say, trying to make it sound convincing.

  “Do you need coffee?”

  “Yes, I need an extra large one with a few shots of get-your-ass-moving in it,” I say as I shift my body. Laying on my stomach, I prop my face up with my hand as I position myself on his torso.

  “You leave in a few hours. Are you sure you got everything from the Inn?”

  Yes, Justin finished his manuscript two days ahead of schedule and has been held up in my loft since. He’s been working around the clock when not spending time with me. Last night he helped me close up the store before bringing me upstairs to cook a nice dinner before taking me to bed.

  “I’ve got everything and if I missed something, I’ll get it when I come back.”

  “Okay,” I say, but what I really want to say is take me with you. Don’t let the miles split us apart this time. Let’s rewrite history and create our own story. Instead, I slide out from the covers and head toward the shower. The sooner we get this over with, the faster I can heal my heart again. With the water streaming over my tired body, I hear Justin’s voice getting closer. The back of the shower opens, and I watch as he folds his b
ody inside with me. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he tugs me closer. “You do know it’ll be okay, right? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “I know, but you do remember those were our same words all those years ago?”

  “This I’m aware of, but the difference is I won’t be able to stay away from you this time.”

  “It’s my cooking and coffee making abilities that will call you back, huh?”

  “No, that would be Haddie’s skills. This is what will call me back,” he says before kissing me like his life depends on it.

  “I’ll miss that mouth of yours,” I say and can feel the heat rise up over my face. Justin raises his hand up to my face and traces the edges with his forefinger. “I promise this time will be different.” His voice is low and stern like he’s trying to make us both believe his words. All while his touch is soft but meaningful. I can’t help the beating in my chest. It’s not from anticipation of what he’s going to do next. No, it’s from the way I feel about him. As much as I told myself to not open up and let him in, it happened. Justin’s back and embedded in my soul again. I knew this day was going to come. I knew he wasn’t truly here to stay. His life back in California is his and this is my world. I can’t pretend that we’re teenagers again. That was a long time ago. Today the both of us have responsibilities, a life, friends, and jobs. All I can do is stand here and watch him, waiting for him to make the next move. Do I want him to ask me to go this time? Do I just sit here and wait for him to return like some lovesick puppy? I wish I had a magical book to tell me what to do. That a story would be like ours and give me hints of what life and love will be like. Over the last week, all I’ve done is rehearse today in my head. I’ve had many versions, but the one that’s happening hasn’t crossed my mind. It’s the first time in my life that if asked, I’d leave this island and follow him. I’d leave the store, my friends, my history—leave it all behind just to follow the person who holds my heart across the country. But the reality is that I have a few hours left before saying goodbye. Will this be it? I have no idea. What I do know is that I’ll take this time and see what unfolds next for us both.

  We’re standing here next to Justin’s car, the gravel beneath our feet crunching as we move side to side, trying to avoid the goodbye conversation.

  “It’s only for a few weeks, Leslie. Once I have everything taken care of, I’ll come back to see you. You know it’s a perk of the job. I’m not required to sit behind a desk at home; I take it with me.”

  “I know… It’s just that I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too. I’ve got to go or I’ll miss my flight.”

  “Call me as soon as you land so I know you made it,” I say as I run my hands up and down the length of his arms like I’m warming him up in a cold wind.

  “I promise, now head on in to see Haddie.”

  “Okay,” I say as I stand up on my tippy toes. Grazing his lips with mine. It starts out gentle but quickly turns into me giving myself to him. Expressing the way my heart feels about him. I’m not ready to say the words as it’ll make this real. Instead, I’ll allow the feeling of swollen lips for the both of us to shed light on this moment. Breaking away, I lean back and toss him a wink before walking away. Everything’s already been said, so there’s nothing else to say. When I step up on the porch, I stop and look back. That’s when I notice that Justin’s back is to me. He’s leaning against the car as if he’s having an internal fight with himself. I take another step up, keeping my eyes on him. By the time I reach the top of the porch, Justin’s folded himself down into the car. Behind the column I watch as the door closes; the sound of the ignition comes to life and the hesitation of him putting it into reverse all happens in slow motion. The vision of him backing out is on pause, allowing me to witness this moment instilled time. A pang in the pit of my stomach hits, and it’s then that I know that this time I’ll have to fight for what I want. I can’t just sit here and wait for the next chapter. I did that once and we see where it got me—not far, that’s for sure.

  When I enter the Inn, Haddie’s waiting for me with her arms open wide. My feet quickly pick up the pace and before I can blink, her arms are wrapped around me with a mound of support pouring out.

  “It’s going to be okay, Leslie. He’ll be back this time, I know it.”

  “What happens if he doesn’t?”

  “He will, just give him time,” she says, and I pull back to look at her. I’m not sure if she knows something that I don’t, but I’ll take it for now.

  “Come on, there are brownies in the kitchen.”

  With those words, I quickly follow. I mean, what girl doesn’t want comfort food at a time like this? I totally deserve half the pan, but will have a few now and save the rest for tonight when I’m curled up and alone.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Justin

  I’ve been back home for two weeks. Two crazy long ass weeks. Each day has been filled with edits, re-writes, and more edits. Christina, my agent, hasn’t given me a moment to stop and think about Leslie. Maybe she knew that I’d need a distraction. One that would keep me focused on the end game; that being—return to Leslie as soon as I can. As much as I knew she was waiting for me to ask her to come with me, I knew that I couldn’t ask her to follow me. She thinks it’s going to be a repeat of the last time, but it’s not. Our lives are different now. We’re more mature and know what we want out of life. Every day I struggled to not ask her. The day that I left and I stood there listening to her footsteps get farther and farther away, I had to force myself to not run to her. Every night on the phone, I have to end our call quickly before spilling the words ‘Come here, come stay with me in California’. Just as my life is here, her life is back in Kingston.

  The loud thud hitting my desk pulls me out of my thoughts.

  “Here, the final proof of ‘When The Fog Lifts’ and the last of the Kingston Island Mystery,” Christina says as she takes a seat in the chair in front of my desk.

  “What’s next?” I ask as I know she has a mile-long list of things for me to do.

  “We need to set up press releases; I have a few interviews already booked on the morning shows. You know the drill, Justin. The next three months are packed.”

  “Do I have any free time so I can escape for a few days?” I ask and watch as she opens her phone, swiping through it like she’s playing a game of Bubble Pop. Christina glances up at me and back to her phone before speaking. “There’s a pause in a few weeks that we could schedule you a trip back to Georgia if you want.”

  “A few weeks? What about this weekend?”

  “No, you leave on Saturday for New York.” I let out a sigh of frustration and run my hands through my hair as I lean back in my chair.

  “What if I leave tonight on the red-eye and then fly from Jacksonville to New York, can you make that happen?”

  “Can’t, we have photo shoots tomorrow, and you need to sign off on the cover before you go to New York.”

  “Since when do I ever get a say in my covers? That’s your department.”

  “Since you said last time that you want to see this one.”

  “Come on, Christina… I need to get back and see Leslie before all this starts.”

  “Justin, I need you to listen to me.” She crosses her legs, leaning a little closer toward the desk before continuing.

  “You and I both know that this release is a big deal. It’s the last of the series, and your fans are dying for the ending. You’ve got to make appearances, hold up your end of things for the publisher. After the release, you can do what you want while you think of the next best thing to write. Which, I have to say, you might want to use whatever you did for this one on the next. You wrote some powerful words in this,” she says as she taps the top page of the manuscript sitting on the edge of my desk.

  I nod as I listen to her, “You done?”

  “I am; by the way, that’s your copy,” she states before she stands to grab her oversized purse. Before she leave
s, she stops and looks back at me. “For what it’s worth, I know you’re ready to go back to her, but I need you to do this, Justin. This is for your own good.”

  There are no words to be said in return. The only things I have to say at this moment are to Leslie. I’ve got to tell her that my trip is once again on hold. I just hope she’ll understand. I know she will say she does, but it’ll hurt.

  I reach for my phone and dial her number, waiting for the voice that I crave to answer.

  “Hi,” comes through the speaker.

  “Hi, you busy?”

  “Nope, just waiting on Elliott to feed me. What are you doing?”

  “Sitting here trying to not strangle Christina.”

  “I’m sure she’s only doing her job, Justin.”

  “That’s what I keep telling myself too, but her job is interfering with our lives.” The moment I let those words slip, I want to take them back.

  “Why, what’s going on?” Leslie’s voice is low, like she’s turning her back away from someone listening to our conversation.

  “It appears that I’m not coming back until sometime late next month. All this shit here and I have to fly to New York on Saturday for an interview.” There’s a long pause on the line, so long that I look down at the screen of the phone to make sure we’ve not gotten disconnected.

  “Leslie, you still there?”

  “Sorry, I was… I was taking it all in.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. I thought I’d have more downtime before all this started.”