I was shocked by what he was saying and confused about such an option. What would that say about him? And me? And us?
We could pretend this never happened.
17
Jake
Aly’s sweet face had trouble etched all over it. Her perfectly arched eyebrows now angled in despair. Her eyes drifted away from mine as she thought about what I said. I took her right hand in mine. Her fingertips were cold and I pressed them between my hands then brought them to my lips.
“I love you, Alyssa.”
Aly let those words hover, too. I hoped they’d sink right into her heart. I admired her flawless skin and the perfect slope of her nose and the delicate pout of her lips. I remained hopelessly in love with her and prayed she wouldn’t decide it was all too much for her. The strife had relaxed on her brow, but unrest remained in her hazel eyes. I waited for her to reply as I kissed each of her fingertips. She finally curled into me and I slid my arm around her, pulling her tight against me.
Thank you.
“I love you, too.” She said, softly.
I kissed the top of her head. “Everything’s gonna come together, that’s all I ever wanted…to have a life with you. We could have that...”
“I’m here, Jake. You don’t have to state your case. What you need to do is decide what you want to do about Sienna and Jackson.”
“Elaborate, please.”
She drew in a deep breath and pushed herself up to face me. Her hair was a messy frame around her face, splaying across her chest and shoulders, looking like she’d just blown in from the beach. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to forget all that had happened that morning. I almost reached out to pull her body back to mine, but then she spoke.
“I’ll be here for you, as much as I can.” She said, steadily. “However you want to handle it, Jake. You know I have things I’m committed to. I can’t stay here. I can’t go back to California, not right now.”
“So, basically you’re saying that you’re okay with whatever I decide? If I decide to take this on, to take on the responsibility of being a father, you’re not going to tell me to fuck off?”
“No. Just don’t make any rash decisions. Who knows what Sienna’s thinking? I know you don’t think she’ll take off, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she did.”
“What do you mean rash decisions?” The tension in the room had loosened with Aly’s strength of mind and I finally reached out and pulled her back to me.
She propped herself up on my chest by the forearm and looked at me the way she used to, with so much love and honesty saying, “Don’t get any wild ideas…like abducting that kid or anything or making her promises because you feel guilty or something. This is not your fault…” She said and then immediately looked away, strangely. She shook her head and pushed herself up from my chest. She stared at me hard and crossed her arms saying, “I take that back. This is your fault. But I’m not here to beat you down about it. It happened.” She paused and looked up to the ceiling. “You just have to decide what you want to do. What ever will be, will be.”
#
Raindrops bounced and rolled down the windshield. The light patter of rain hitting the car was the only sound. Marty sat at the steering wheel, gripping it a little too tightly.
“Dude, relax. You’re fingers are gonna crack.”
“This is stressful.” He stretched out his fingers, but his palms never left the wheel.
“For who?” I laughed, nervously.
He leered at me. “How long are we going to be here?”
“I dunno, maybe an hour or so.”
After Aly and I had our talk, we put the kid issue on the back burner and spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out and swimming in the rain with Marty, Nadine, Marshall and Bobby. Wedding planning was the main topic.
We ate an early dinner. That’s when I received a text from Sienna. When it happened, my heart did a free fall to my feet reading it – Been thinking all day. Can you please come back over as soon as possible?
I immediately turned to Aly showing her the message. The pink radiance in her cheeks faded in an instant, making my regrets spike through my heart. I flung my arm around her neck and her resistance pressed into the crook of my arm, her eyes cast down at the news.
“I’ll only be a little while.” I whispered and pressed my lips to her temple. Then turned to Marty, enlisting him to drive me to Sienna’s.
Aly put on a brave face, wishing me luck.
The rain was a light drizzle, warm and refreshing on my face. I jogged to the front porch and watched as Marty dragged his feet to meet me. He looked around like a skittish cat. I felt punchy and nervous, and wanted to give him a hard time.
“Damn, Bro, stop looking like I’m asking you to walk into a haunted house.” I said with a chuckle and pressed the little white round doorbell button.
“Hold on.” Sienna’s faint voice sounded a moment later.
She opened the door looking more like the supermodel I once knew, only with shorter blonde hair. She wore red lipstick. I hadn’t seen her wear red lipstick since high school. A calf-length black spaghetti strap dress hung from her mannequin-like shoulders. The three-inch wide lace trim made it look like a vintage undergarment. She was as thin as I’d ever seen her. Her collarbone was more pronounced than I remembered. Maybe she always looked like that and I was just too fucked up to remember. Now that the shock of Jackson had dulled, a sick feeling rushed through me as images of our drug-fueled time together came rushing back.
I swallowed the urge to hurl.
I stepped in with an awkward nod and Sienna’s eyes lingered over my shoulder. She was surprised to see Marty standing behind me.
“Martin?”
I stepped to the side so Marty could join me. He pushed his glasses up his nose and waved stiffly. “Hello.”
“Wow.” She said, looking at me. “Wow.”
I gave a dull smile, saying, “We’re still in business.”
Jackson had run up, hiding behind Sienna’s legs. “Hey, Jackson.” I greeted. As I was about to crouch down to his level, I noticed movement in the distance. A man was watching us from the kitchen. Seeing him made me stand up. The man cleared his throat loudly, making Sienna turn around. I looked down to Jackson. He stared at me curiously.
Does he know?
“Drew, um, this is Jake and Martin.” Her introduction grabbed my attention and the man strolled into the room. We remained anchored near the front door. Drew was a handsome guy, older, but not by much – clean cut brown hair with a smattering of grey, rimless glasses, pale blue dress-shirt, khaki shorts, boat shoes – a total east coast ivy league looking dude. Totally not Sienna’s type, but who knew what her type was anymore.
“Hello, glad to meet you.” Marty greeted. “You can call me Marty. Only my dad calls me Martin. I prefer Marty.”
Sienna smiled. “I forgot. Sorry.” She shook her head. “It’s been a lifetime…Marty.”
Drew finally walked over and extended his hand to Marty, only after suspiciously inspecting me up and down, then he stuck his hand back into his pocket.
The fuck?
I forced my hand at him when he didn’t regard me with the same courtesy as Marty. “Hi, I’m Jake.”
Drew pulled his hand from his pocket with difficulty, blinking lamely, and introduced himself to me as “Andrew.” He shook my hand firmly, a little too firmly.
What a dick.
“You got it, Drew.” I mouthed off and was about to say something else smart until I caught Sienna’s pleading eyes, begging me to behave. I couldn’t stop myself and pointed, asking her, “Who’s the boat salesman?”
Sienna huffed, looking wide-eyed at me. “Jake…”
Drew broke in, trying to sound authoritative. “I’m her brother-in-law…and her attorney.”
Really. Bring it, motherfucker.
“Elena!” Sienna shouted. Elena was her sister. Sienna grabbed Jackson by the hand, walking him away from us. She disappeared up the hallway. �
��Can you please entertain Jackson while we talk?”
“Sure.” I heard Elena agree and then she stepped out from the hallway. She stood staring at me holding Jackson in her arms. “Hello, Jake.”
My heart raced. I hadn’t seen Elena since my time in rehab. “Hello.”
She looked me up and down. It seemed to be the theme of the moment and then it clicked. I felt forced to announce, “I’ve been sober for years, if that’s what you’re trying to figure out.” I held my arms out and turned to Sienna, who’d moved into the seating area of the living room, asking, “What the hell’s going on?”
I looked back to Elena and she stared at me a moment longer. “You look great, Jake.” She said and abruptly left. Her husband stayed. He took a seat on the arm of the sofa and crossed his legs, resting his laced hands on his knee.
Marty stood in the same place, petrified. “Marty, come over and have a seat.” I waved him over. I was gonna grandstand. I wasn’t about to let Andrew or Sienna control this meeting now that it was some sort of an official thing - this was The Jake Show now. Marty nodded silently and looked at the floor as he walked over. I plopped down right in the middle of the sofa and sprawled out my arms on its back.
Sienna sat at the edge of her seat on an ottoman next to the fireplace. “Thanks for coming...”
I cut in, “Stop with the pleasantries. Let’s just get to the point, seeing you wanna get your attorney involved.”
“Jake…” Drew’s voice raked my nerves.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy. You…” I pointed firmly in his direction. “Have zero to do with this. Zer-oh.” I looked back to Sienna. “You invited me over here. This isn’t an attorney’s office.”
She looked to Drew.
“Give me a fucking break.” I said under my breath and laughed darkly. “What, you can’t talk without his permission? I tell you what. Why don’t we start off where we left off this morning? I bet that’s what this is all about anyway. Am I right?”
She agreed with a nod.
She was doing a great job keeping a stiff upper lip; as if she were a different person from the hysterical weeping mother I saw this morning. Maybe Andrew was giving her courage, I thought. I felt bad for being a dick, sort of. I stared at Andrew and got the vibe that my tatted up rock star show was working. He didn’t want to fuck with me.
“Then get rid of him and Elena. Marty can go wait in the car.” I suggested, firmly.
“Jake, this is serious.” She said, uneasy.
“Yeah. It’s the rest of my life serious. So, get rid of them…and we’ll talk.”
Andrew got up and walked up the hallway. He and Elena appeared a short time later. This time, he was carrying Jackson in his arms. Marty stood and walked toward the door. “Sorry, Marty.” I said and glared at Sienna. “I wasn’t expecting this to be a big deal, thought we’d be on the floor playing blocks with Jackson by now.”
“Blocks! I wanna play!” Jackson cried out, squirming in Andrew’s arms to get down. It took everything in me not to jump over the back of the couch and snatch Jackson from his arms.
“Wait, we’re gonna go outside.” Andrew said, trying to placate Jackson, shifting him to his other hip. “Let’s go for a trike around the block.”
Marty vanished out the door into a blanket of golden-purple haze. Darkness would come soon. As Elena and Andrew walked out the door, Jackson’s young inquisitive eyes met mine as he rested his tiny chin on Andrew’s shoulder. We remained tethered in this connection until he faded out the door. I heard him cry the second the connection broke and the door slammed shut.
My instinct was to run after him, but I stayed, feeling deeply frayed yet determined to come to a conclusion. Sienna and I were now alone. Her eyes looked haunted.
Why, because your past and future are colliding?
“Why did you call me here?”
“To work things out.” She said, softly.
I laughed at the irony. “Why was your attorney here?”
She looked at me directly, “Because we need to formally agree to what’s going to happen with Jackson.”
I reached out and patted the pillow next to me, thinking. “What are you proposing?”
She looked at me with all the seriousness of a judge. “That you’ll sign over your rights and leave us alone.”
Hearing her proposal and seeing her straight face, unflinching and unemotional, sent my blood running cold. I wasn’t ready to make a decision like that, especially after what I felt seeing Jackson again. I wore my poker face and shrugged.
“Why would you think I’d do something like that?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do?” She answered with a bit of sass.
“For who?” I glowered at her. “Not for Jackson, that’s for sure! What makes you think that any of this is okay?”
“What does Aly think? Are you married?”
“We’re getting married.” I lied.
Sienna looked wounded for a quick second. “Congratulations.”
I didn’t say anything and she shrugged her shoulders, looking around the room.
“I would want to start a family of my own…if I were her.”
“You’re not her.”
Sienna looked away from me and her posture softened. “Please just leave us alone, Jake.”
“I’m not sure I can, Sienna.” I really meant it.
She crossed her arms to her chest, looking despondent, and stood. The quick soft swish of her dress sounded as she walked into the kitchen. When she returned, she held sheets of paper and attempted to hand them to me. I stared at them, unyielding to her posture over me.
“What are they?”
“Take them with you, read them, and think about it. We can all live the lives that we want to live. It’s up to you.”
She handed me legal documents. My eyes ran over some of the words quickly, but I couldn’t comprehend the legal jargon without studying them more closely.
“Why did you look for me?” Her question drew my eyes to her.
“I told you.” I answered shortly, folding the papers in half.
“I don’t remember.”
I looked over my shoulder to see if the book was sitting where I found it. Its blue spine lit up like a florescent light. I got up and went to it. Picking it up, I held it out to her. The look on her face was mournful. She covered her mouth, holding back tears.
“Someone brought me a gift, Sienna. I already read all about it. Just like I knew where to find you…” I wagged my finger at her with a villainous smile. “I’ll always find you, so don’t get any wild ideas. Oh, and I’m keeping this.” I told her and walked out the door.
18
Jake
My legs felt wobbly, like they’d collapse beneath me the moment I walked out of Sienna’s house. I shook from outrage. It was nearly dark and it had stopped raining. White lights lit up the yard from high above in a zigzag format. I stopped at the gate, looking back, then up and down the street. There was nobody around. I searched for our black SUV and surprisingly there were two of similar model parked near each other. I was unsure of which one it was until Marty opened the door, illuminating the interior lights.
“Over here.” Marty hollered and waved. I stepped slowly to the car, looking up and down the road, wondering where Elena and Andrew took Jackson, and if a fight would be worth it. Would it damage Jackson more than it would do him good? Sienna seemed determined to fight me. It could get ugly.
“That was fast.” Marty remarked and started the car.
I slammed the passenger door shut. “I need you to read this.” I said, holding up the papers Sienna gave me.
“What is it?” He took them from my hand, unfolding them.
“Some legal shit.” I spat.
“Oh.” He folded them back up and tossed them on the dashboard. “Great.”
“She wants me to disappear.”
“Geez. Why is she doing this? Why did she do this? It’s beyond my comprehension. A girl gets pregnant and
doesn’t want the father involved? Isn’t that the opposite of how it usually happens?”
“Pretty much.” My mind swam in scenarios. “I need to talk to Notting…and Grace and…”
“Your mom?” Marty interjected and it hit me in the gut like a sledgehammer.
I seriously don’t wanna deal with her when she finds out.
“Why my mom? She’s the last person I want advice from. She’s going to light me up like the sun when she finds out.” I dreaded the thought of telling her.
“Because she’s the grandma. Mom’s live for that shit.”
Marty barreled through the door of our vacation home, eager to read the legal papers. Nadine jumped up to meet him as he approached the living room. Aly sat up expectantly in her seat, searching my face for any indication of what when down. I went straight for her and practically fell in her lap in a pathetic heap when I got to her side.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” She searched my eyes.
I snuggled my head in her lap, staring at the TV. She ran a soothing hand over my forehead. “Marty’s got some papers she wants me to read and sign.”
“What? Already?” She asked, taken aback by the sudden pace of legalities.
“Jake,” Marty’s voice sounded strained. “She wants you to sign away your parental rights.”
“What?” I yipped. I stared up at Aly and she looked down at me with her mouth hanging open. I rolled off her and my knees hit the ground. I remained there on my hands and knees, staring at Marty like I didn’t understand what he said, but I did. A swell of unsettling feelings churned inside me. I tried to breathe, but my chest constricted. A feeling of panic rose.
“What should I do?” I whispered to Aly.
Her head tilted like a broken stem and she looked to Marty. “What else does that say?”
“Nothing personal.” He tosses the two sheets of paper on the white stone counter. “It’s a formal document. This one is just a cover letter.” He flipped the page up with a flick of his finger. “This couldn’t have been drawn up today. It’s from California.”
Love Amplified (Heavy Influence Book 3) Page 11