Love, Marriage, and Other Disasters

by Shilpa Suraj

  Flushing a bright red, he tried to make some kind of gesture with his hands but only ended up flapping his hands a bit in the air before stumbling to a stop.

  “Umm.” Feeling her own cheeks start to flush, Alisha frantically scanned the area for someone to rescue her. Not finding any hope, she looked back at him. “I’m sorry but my parents are not in station and I’m really not interested in getting married right now. There’s really no point in taking this conversation any further.”

  His smile dimmed a little before he said, “I’m a software engineer and come from a very good family. If you would just consider –“

  Hearing her name being called in the distance, Alisha grabbed the lifeline it offered, gabbled her apologies and ran. She didn’t look back. She never did when someone mentioned marriage.

  ---xxx---

  Tears streaming down her face, her mother leaned back against her beds’ headboard laughing.

  “I’m glad this amuses you.” Spooning more ice cream into her mouth, Alisha rolled over to lie with her head in her mother’s lap.

  Taking the empty bowl of ice cream from her hands and placing it on the bedside table, Alisha’s mother tried to think. “I wonder who they were. I should ask Seema if she knows.”

  “Don’t you dare! I don’t want them taking that as encouragement.”

  “Why? Was he ugly?”

  “Mama!”

  “Why don’t we just find out a little bit more about them? He obviously seems to have liked you enough to bring his mother over to introduce her.”

  “Once you tell him I’m divorced, I’m sure he’ll like me a lot less. Plus, what does he know about me anyway to like me?”

  “Alright, so it doesn’t have to be this particular boy but I can still look around and see if anyone knows of a suitable boy. Maybe it’s time to put out a few feelers.”

  “Mama, please. Don’t start this again. Once was more than enough.” Pushing herself off the bed, she moved to grab a jacket to protect herself from the night chill. “I’m going for a walk around the colony. Do you want to come?”

  When she didn’t get a reply, she sighed before turning towards her mother. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but obviously the traditional arranged marriage doesn’t work for me. The last time was a disaster.”

  “We made a mistake the last time. This time we could be more careful. Every arranged marriage is not a disaster. Your father and I have been very happy for the last thirty four years.”

  “I know, Mama. I know.” Pressing her fingers against her eyes, she tried to explain herself better. “I just don’t want to take that chance again. I can’t take that chance again.”

  Last time, it had broken her. If it happened again, it would shatter her and Alisha wasn’t sure there would be anything left to glue back together.

  “Why don’t you find yourself someone then?”

  “I wish it was that easy. It’s not like shopping for vegetables where I can go to the market and just point to what I want.”

  “Haven’t you met any nice boys through your friends or at work?”

  “None who make me feel anything and they’re men not boys.”

  “You can’t expect to just fall in love so easily. Love isn’t instant noodles.” Her mother looked perplexed.

  “I’m not talking about love. I’m talking about feeling that certain something, attraction or whatever. That little squiggle in your tummy when you meet someone you think you might like.”

  “Have you ever felt that way?”

  “No.” Sitting down next to her mother and putting her arms around her, she asked, “Do you think it’s a myth? Am I looking for something that doesn’t exist?”

  “No. I feel that way when your father looks at me on most days. Some days he just pisses me off and the squiggle disappears.”

  Laughing, Alisha pulled her mother off the bed. “Let’s go get some exercise and fresh air before my bottom becomes as big as the bed.”

  “That, my dear, might be a losing battle in your case.” Avoiding the hand towel that Alisha threw at her, she went down to tell her husband they were going for a walk.

  Chapter 3

  “So, now we’re looking for a squiggle?” Her face scrunched in concentration, Nisha lay on her back and tried to keep her legs pointing straight up.

  Running on the treadmill diagonally across from her, Alisha didn’t have the breath to answer and settled for a quick nod instead.

  “And you’ve never felt the squiggle?”

  Shaking her head this time, Alisha checked the time completed on her treadmill. Only fifteen minutes, dammit. She’d have to last, at the least, a half hour to get off it with a clear conscience. Lungs burning, she tried to focus on something other than her screaming muscles.

  “You must have felt it at some point. What about in school? The cute boy whom everyone had a crush on? There must have been one at your school.” Now lying on her stomach, Nisha was trying to pull her legs back to touch the back of her head.

  Shaking her head, Alisha held up a hand to stall Nisha’s questions. When she finally hit her thirty minute mark, she started to wind down. Panting hard, she slowed to a stop before getting off the treadmill and collapsing on the mat next to Nisha.

  “Never. I’ve never felt the squiggle.” She finally managed to say when her heart stopped hammering and her breathing slowed from panting to gasping. “I think maybe I’m frigid or something.”

  “Rubbish. You just haven’t met the right guy.” Pushing herself up from the mat, Nisha got to her feet and held out her hand to Alisha.

  Was it really that simple? The right guy would come along and she would feel something? Something other than this frozen numbness that never left her no matter what? Somehow Alisha doubted it. Some wounds didn’t heal so easily.

  “Alisha.” Nisha’s impatient voice broke through her depressing thoughts.

  Shaking her head, she pushed the past and the gloomy cloud it brought with it to the side and tried to move only to flop back down. It felt like every muscle in her body had been ground and smashed to mush. Nisha waved her hand in Alisha’s face again.

  Groaning, she grasped it and rose to her feet. “Do we really have to come to the gym every single day?”

  Giving the treadmill a last hate-filled glare, she limped behind Nisha and made her way to the other end of the room where the stairmaster waited to torture her further.

  “Yes. It’s all part of our new, improved, healthy lifestyle that’s going to help us live longer.” With annoying cheer, Nisha got onto an exercise cycle and started pedaling away.

  As she started on the stairmaster, Alisha whimpered, “This is going to kill me sooner not help me live longer.”

  “Stop whining. We need to plan how we’re going to find you the guy who makes you feel squiggly.”

  “I don’t think that’s even a word.”

  “And a squiggle is?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I always know what you mean but the rest of the world could sometimes need a translator.”

  Sticking her tongue out instead of trying to gasp out a reply, Alisha concentrated on getting through the rest of her torture.

  “That certainly didn’t require any translation.” Nisha’s snorted reply had her grinning as she increased the speed and tried not to fall off

  ---xxx---.

  “Coffee?”

  Two hours of squinting into her laptop had her vision blurring a bit as she looked up. Unfortunately, it cleared quickly enough for her to see King Kong smiling at her. He wasn’t giving up on this coffee bit. Deciding to get it over with, she pushed back from her desk.

  “Sure. Let’s go.”

  He looked momentarily startled at her sudden agreement but recovered quickly. Waiting their turn at the coffee machine, she surreptitiously checked her watch. Breathing a sigh of relief when she saw she had a video conference in fifteen minutes, she grabbed her cappuccino as soon as it was ready and made
her way to one of the few free tables.

  Sitting down across from her, he beamed. “I’m glad we’re getting a chance to get to know each other better.”

  Trying to be nice, she smiled back. “How has your day been so far?”

  “Let’s not talk about work.” Brushing her opening gambit aside, he continued, “Why don’t you tell me something about yourself that people don’t generally know?”

  “Umm.” Racking her brains, Alisha ventured, “I read a lot.”

  “What kind of books?”

  Starting to feel like she was being interrogated, Alisha tried keeping an open mind. “Well, I like romantic fiction. I enjoy reading to destress, so I try to pick up lighter reads. It’s a nice escape from reality, in my opinion.”

  “Romantic fiction? I guess now we know what you have on your mind.”

  Did he just wink at her? Blinking a bit and hoping she’d imagined that, she tried steering the conversation away from her. “Why don’t you tell me something about yourself?”

  “I could tell you something that nobody else would ever guess.” Leaning forward, he beckoned her closer.

  Resigned to closer proximity, Alisha moved forward to have him whisper, “I’m the exact same height as Abhishek Bachchan.”

  “I’m sorry?” She had to have heard him wrong. “Did you say-?”

  “Yes. I bet you can’t believe it. Very few of us are that tall and broad you know. In fact, I bet I could fit you on my hip if I wanted to.”

  “I sincerely hope you don’t want to.” She brought the coffee cup up to her lips in a desperate attempt to stifle her laughter. Glancing at her watch again, she stood. “This was great, but I have to go now. I have a VC in a few minutes. Nice talking to you.”

  Moving away before he could voice a protest, she barely made it to her cubicle before her fit of giggles erupted.

  ---xxx---

  Finishing her video conference just in time to catch the evening shuttle home, she pulled out her phone to find five missed calls from her mother. Frowning, she tried calling back only to get a busy signal. Shoving the phone into her trouser pocket, she packed up for the day and headed down to the basement to catch the office cab home.

  Halfway through her journey, she felt the phone vibrate in her pocket. Unplugging her Ipod, she pulled it out. “Hi, Mama.”

  “Where are you?”

  Wondering at the barely suppressed edge in her mother’s voice, she said, “On my way home.”

  “Get home quickly.”

  “I can’t do much. There’s so much traffic and-“ Trailing off, she realized her mother had hung up on her. Baffled, she tried sending her a text message.

  Is something wrong? What’s going on at home?

  She waited close to ten minutes for a reply and when nothing came through she tried texting her father.

  Dad, why did Mama sound so worked up on the phone? Is something wrong at home?

  She waited barely two minutes before a reply beeped through.

  “I have no idea. I’m at work. Why?”

  Great. Now she’d ended up worrying her father. Her father ran a thriving real estate brokerage firm and thought retirement was a word to laugh at. His frequent refrain was “I’ll retire when you settle down.” A statement that made her want to grind her teeth.

  She’d been financially independent for years and earned more than most people she knew but to her father she wasn’t settled because she wasn’t one half of a pair. Like she was a freaking swan or something. Was it swans or lobsters that always lived in pairs? She bet even they would rather be alone sometimes.

  Sighing, she shoved the uncharitable thought aside. Her parents loved her and had supported her unconditionally through the nasty mess that was her divorce. She was lucky. Very lucky with the family she’d been born into. The one she’d married into had been a whole other story. Her father was probably fretting. With that on her mind, she typed out a quick response to calm him down.

  Nothing important. I guess she’s just upset with me about something.

  Racking her brains to figure out what she could have done, she heard her phone’s message tone beep again.

  Better you than me! ☺ See you at home.

  Grinning, she put the phone away. She may as well wait till she reached home to find out what she’d done wrong.

  ---xxx---

  Cautiously letting herself in through the front door a half hour later, she was relieved to hear voices. She couldn’t be in too much trouble if her mother was entertaining although for the life of her she couldn’t figure out what she’d done wrong.

  Still mulling it over in her head, she turned the corner into the drawing room and gaped at the sight in front of her. All coherent thought fled when she took in the sight of green shirt and his mother sitting on the couch. Except, this time his shirt was purple, and his mother was no longer smiling. In fact, she looked a bit constipated. Her aunt, mother to the recent new bride, sat in the single sofa at the end of the center table.

  “Finally, you’re here. Sit down.” Grabbing her hand, her mother propelled her into the nearest available chair.

  “Mrs. Nair and her son have come to visit along with Aunty Seema.”

  Smiling automatically, she went through the motions of greeting all of them. When no one said anything for an awkward moment, she cleared her throat and said, “The wedding reception was lovely, Aunty Seema. The decorations were gorgeous and the food was delicious.”

  “Thank you dear.” Beaming at her, her relative continued, “I’m hoping we’ll be able to eat at your reception soon.”

  Not the most graceful of segues thought Alisha before turning to see her mother give her a strained smile.

  “Mrs. Nair and her son have an alliance for you. I mean, she’s brought her son’s alliance.” Looking at now-purple shirt smiling bashfully at his feet, her mother said, “He, I mean Rama, seems to have liked you a lot.”

  Before Alisha could reply, Aunty Seema chimed in from the side, “Now, Alisha, I don’t want you to worry. I have told them everything and they are willing to overlook it. Mrs. Nair says only her son’s happiness is important to her.”

  Bile rose in her throat. How very gracious of them. Was she supposed to fall at their feet in appreciation?

  Alisha swallowed hard and kept the smile on her face. Withdrawing the hand that her aunt was patting fervently, she turned to her mother for help.

  “Mama-“

  “Why don’t you help me bring the snacks out from the kitchen?” Standing, her mother led the way from the room.

  Quickly shutting the kitchen door, Alisha hissed, “What are they doing here?”

  When her mother only shot her an ‘are you kidding’ look, she rolled her eyes and tried again. “What are we going to do?”

  “We are going to go out there and be polite and treat this like any other normal proposal we would get.”

  “But, Mama-“

  “Don’t but mama me, Alisha. They seem like nice people and are genuinely offering for you despite what they’ve heard. I think we owe them the courtesy of hearing them out.”

  “So what if they’re here with a marriage proposal despite what they’ve heard? I’m supposed to be grateful?”

  “If you would just knock that chip off your shoulder for one minute, you might actually notice the fact that some very sweet people have come to ask if you would like to be a part of their family. I expect you to behave yourself and keep an open mind.”

  Following resignedly in her mother’s wake, she offered the tray she had in her hand around the room. Setting the tray down after a circuit of the room, she settled into her chair and tried racking her brains to see if she could remember purple shirt’s name.

  “So, Alisha, do you have any questions you’d like to ask Rama?”

  Rama, that’s what it was. Relieved, Alisha smiled, “Where do you work?”

  “I work at TLC Infosystems. I’ve done my software engineering from IIT Kharagpur and got in through c
ampus placements. I’ve been with the same company for the last eight years and am now a Project Manager.”

  A little startled at the speech, she said, “That sounds great. Do you enjoy your work?”

  “Of course! He is an engineer from IIT.” Realizing these were the first words his mother had spoken till now, Alisha looked at her and smiled.

  “Yes, Aunty. I was just wondering if-“

  Cutting her off, Mrs. Nair leaned forward. “Do you know how to cook?”

  “A little. Not as well as my mother.” Her cheeks ached with the effort of keeping her smile pasted on her face. Her head started to pound as her past and present started to merge in her head. These questions were very familiar and not in a pleasant way.

  “Will you continue to dress like this even after marriage?”

  Looking down at her inoffensive trouser and shirt, Alisha looked over at her mother. At her mother’s slight nod, she turned back to say, pleasantly, “Yes, Aunty. I will. These are the clothes I feel most comfortable in, especially at work.”

  “Well you won’t have to work after you marry my son. He is an IIT engineer. He makes enough money.”

  “I don’t have to work. I like to work.” Alisha’s reply didn’t please her.

  “Once you’re married, you should focus on being a good wife and daughter-in-law. Maybe that’s why your first marriage didn’t work out.”

  Starting to reply, Alisha found herself cut off by her mother’s calm tones. “Mrs. Nair, I appreciate the time and effort your son and you have taken in coming here and offering for my daughter. We are very flattered. However, from what I can make out, I don’t think my daughter will fit into your family. As we all know, in India, when you marry someone you also marry their family. I don’t think Alisha is what you’re looking for in a daughter-in-law.”

  “No. I don’t think so either, but my son is very interested, and I think my son’s happiness is the most important thing.”

  “Rama?” Alisha’s soft question had his head coming up from his intense contemplation of his shoes. He looked mortified and on the verge of tears.

  “You haven’t even had one complete conversation with me. What do you like so much about me?”