Hell's Rejects (Hell on Earth Book 2)

by AJ Mullican

  I was a tiny, tiny kid, so that shadowbox isn’t super big.

  Light footsteps on the stairs behind me announce Kalen, Finn, and Oren as they come to take part in the day’s activities. My guys have learned as much from me as I have from them since we got back from Faerie, so they’re pretty adept at the katas, and I know they already stretched when we got up this morning because we all stretched together before coming to breakfast.

  Of course, we needed to limber up after the night we had. Last night we stayed in Geiger’s bed, and though just a queen like ours at the apartment, the four-poster canopy made the night extra fun. I’m sure the gauzy curtains weren’t intended for the kind of use we put them to, but hot damn, it was nice.

  I’ll have to remember to ask Cherry if they’ve got an iron or a steamer or something for those curtains. The knots Kalen tied them in wrinkled the shit out of the fabric.

  I could go through the katas like this for hours—it helps me relax—but since my erstwhile students are all new at this, I keep the session short. An hour in, I call it and lead them through some wind-down stretches.

  Callie wipes sweat from her brow and fans herself. “Wow! That’s, like, a serious workout.”

  “Yep. You can practice whenever, and if Lena’s okay with it, we’ll make this a regular thing.” I pause. “Well, when we can. In between demonic incursions or whatever.” I can’t believe I’d almost forgotten that the end of the world is coming.

  Lena waddles down the steps in her heeled combat boots, cell phone in hand, and makes her way to Callie and me. “Looks like our little battle royale last night made the websites.”

  Geiger follows, tapping his own phone screen. “Yep. I’ve found seventeen news outlet sites and dozens of less scrupulous sites with photos of the bodies we left behind.” He looks up at Cherry. “Not the cleanest exit, but I understand why we didn’t stop to dispose of them.”

  “What’s the official news say?” Cherry takes the towel he offers and wipes sweat from her neck before letting her hair down.

  “Officially? NPD is calling it drug-related, but they’re withholding further comment.”

  Lena snickers and holds her phone so I can see the screen. “My favorite explanation is from The Nowhere Oracle: ‘It appears that two rival Satanic cults met in an upscale Nowhere neighborhood, where bloodshed ensued.’ Can you believe that? They’re actually close, for once in their journalistic career.”

  “At least there weren’t any other attacks last night,” Geiger says as he pockets his phone. “So what’s the plan for today?”

  My hand shoots up of its own accord before I realize that acting like a kid in school probably isn’t helping me appear older than my height allows. “Um, yeah, I was wondering when we can go home? I mean, you Hunters have a lovely house and all, and thank you, Geiger, for the use of your bed last night, but I gotta work this afternoon, and so do Oren and Finn.” Plus we have a little side mission to take care of, and I don’t think my guys can do it here, where there are so many witnesses. I exchange a glance with Oren and Finn, who ascertain that they both have shifts at the Ren Faire today.

  Holden steps up and puts a hand on my shoulder. “It might be best if you all took a leave of absence. We can put you up for as long as you need, if that’s your concern.”

  “No offense, but we have rent and bills to pay. We can’t just quit.” I gesture at the sprawling ranch house in the middle of the woods. “I don’t know how you afford this place working at the bar part-time like you do. I’m scraping by on my waitressing tips, and Kalen, Oren, and Finn have their jobs at the Ren Faire, but that’s temporary as it is.”

  The awkward silence that follows tells me that nobody else here has to worry about money.

  Holden scratches the back of his neck and blushes. “Well, to be honest, we don’t need to work at the bar. Our parents had a hefty life insurance plan, and Geiger’s a whiz at the stock market, so…”

  I glance over at Lena, who shrugs. “Ditto, minus the stock market. I kind of cheat and boost our income with some magical influencing of the bank account. Before anyone judges here, it’s all on the up and up. No bank employees were harmed in the making of my fortune. Let’s just say that after the quote-unquote explosion at the magic shop the insurance payouts all fell in my favor, and I make sure the interest rates are poppin’, too.” She pauses and facepalms. “Fuck my life, I gotta call the insurance company about the house. Some of the fireballs got through the wards when shit went down last night.”

  Lucky sons of bitches. Not that I wish my parents were dead—far from it—but a steady income would be nice. Something better than tips and a pittance of a wage. “Oh. Well, I mean, we can’t stay here forever, y’know. This place is pretty crowded.”

  Holden thumps me on the back with a grin. “The more the merrier! Besides, what’s four more people when we’ve already got a dozen hanging out? This will just be temporary, just until the whole Hell on Earth thing is sorted, and then we’ll help you find a new place. We can even front your rent for a little while, and you can pay us back when you’re able.”

  Great. Handouts. No, thanks. “I appreciate the offer, Holden, but it was hard enough finding the job I have right now. If I take time off I’ll probably get fired, and then I’m screwed. I’m not smart like Geiger, and I have no education or skills, really. Where am I gonna work after this?”

  My pleas, it seems, fall on deaf ears. “Nonsense. You’ll stay here, and we’ll get you all jobs at Bob’s Bar after this is all over. He’s always looking for more help, and I bet you and the fae would bring in plenty of curious customers.”

  “Me and the fae.” Translation? The fae. Nobody gives a shit about me. Nobody’s going to be curious about a little short girl waiting tables in a bar. Now, some pointy-eared, tatted-up dudes with godlike hotness—that’ll bring the local babes in droves, not to mention the out-of-towners from the college.

  I sweep the crowd with my gaze, meeting everyone’s eyes, and once again the pressure hits. “I’m not going to win here, am I?”

  The hand on my back moves to my shoulder, and the massive shifter—more than a foot taller than me and twice as wide—pulls me into a friendly half-hug. “Nope. Welcome to the dysfunctional family, Molli.”

  I force a smile as everyone exchanges handshakes, but I can’t help but think that this is going to complicate matters.

  Asmodeus gave us on Team Fae a specific task, one that we’re not supposed to divulge to the others. How are we supposed to use fae magic to study the demonic aging process—in secret—in a house this crowded?

  Chapter 3

  Cherry offers to go into town for groceries, and Finn and I volunteer to tag along to help. With the sheer number of people in the Hunter house right now, she’ll need more than one cart, and besides, it gives me a chance to pick out stuff I know the guys and I will like. Even though my fae can now use their magic to grow berries that can sustain us for weeks—something I hadn’t thought would work outside of the Faerie Realm—I enjoy eating actual food.

  Callie hops in the back of Cherry’s van at the last minute and sits next to Finn, saying she’s on strict orders from Lena to pick up “essentials.”

  Cherry sighs as she backs out of the garage. “Did you tell Lena that I’d never forget her coconut shavings?”

  “Coconut shavings?” Once again, I feel like I’m missing something here.

  Cal leans forward between our seats. “Yeah, her, like, number one craving. She puts it on the fucking weirdest stuff.”

  “Molli, what is this cocoa-nut she speaks of? Is this nut like the almond in candy bars?”

  Oh, geez, Finn’s never had coconut because I refuse to allow the stuff anywhere near me. “No, Finn, not quite. It’s disgusting.” I pause. “Although there is a candy bar named Almond Joy that has coconut in it.”

  “May we purchase an Almond Joy at the market today?”

  I turn around in my seat. “Tell you what? I’ll buy you a big bag of the Skittl
es, okay? Can we compromise with that?”

  Finn nods, and I breathe a sigh of relief at dodging that particular bullet. Then something else occurs to me. “Hey, Cherry, won’t Lena be needing baby stuff soon? She should be stocking up on diapers and clothes and shit.” I turn back to Callie. “Has she had a shower or anything yet?”

  Callie wrinkles her nose, and her brows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean? She showers every day.”

  “Yes,” Finn interjects, “she smells quite pleasant.”

  “No, Finn, babe, I meant a baby shower.”

  “Oh!” Callie sits back and laughs. “Does my sister seem like the ‘baby shower’ type to you?”

  Finn’s brows draw together as he frowns. “What is a baby shower? Do you humans not bathe your children? How strange.”

  I swear I’m going to knock myself out facepalming one of these days. “Finn, honey, that’s not what we’re talking about. A baby shower is a party. You buy stuff that the mom needs for the baby, wrap it in pretty paper, and have her open all. Then you have games and prizes and food and stuff. They’re fun.”

  “So similar to your birthday? I seem to recall having to wrap your gift despite the fact that you opened it immediately.”

  “The wrapping’s not the point. It just makes it a nice surprise when she opens her presents.”

  “But the presents are for the child, are they not?”

  This conversation is steering me towards a headache. “And for Lena. Sometimes people get the mom stuff for herself, too.” I turn back to Callie. “And Lena still needs the stuff, Cal. A shower’s as good a place as any to get it. Does she have any friends we can invite?”

  “Seriously, Molli, my sister will fucking murder us if we throw her a shower.”

  That only serves to cement my determination. “Then we’ll surprise her, with witnesses, and she won’t have any choice but to plaster on a smile and murder us later. Now, c’mon, surely she’s got at least one or two non-supernatural friends out there.”

  Callie pauses. “There’s Bradley’s mom, I think. Lena poses as a social worker and visits every so often. Bethany is her name.”

  Finn meets my gaze over Callie’s head, and I know he’s thinking what I’m thinking. Bradley, if I recall, is a baby who had been aged to adulthood and possessed by Rukhsana. Lena exorcised the succubus and regressed him back to normal, but I didn’t know she kept in touch with the mom afterwards. How perfect is this? We can get a regressed demon possession victim delivered!

  “Cool. So we’ll invite Bethany over to the Hunter house, and we’ll all have a nice party.” I open a list app on my phone and start typing. “We’ll need to pick up some extra stuff, then. Balloons, streamers, confetti, plus games and gifts and shit. I wonder what kinds of toys a half-demon baby would like to play with…”

  Cherry grins as she turns onto the highway. “Lena is going to murder you, you know.”

  “But you’re smiling, so you’re in, right?”

  “Oh, yeah, I’m not missing this for the world! We could stand to unwind a bit, and you’ve got a point in that Lena needs to stock up on the real essentials.” She glances in the rearview mirror. “Do you have Bethany’s number, Cal?”

  Oh, hells yeah! This is going to be fun.

  ***

  We manage to sneak all the party supplies in while Lena’s out with the incubi, dealing with the damage to their house after last night’s demon attack. I wonder what wild excuse she’ll have for conveniently “not being home” at the time of the bloodbath on the street. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s something so completely out there that the investigators won’t be able to find a hole in the story for all the twists and turns she takes in telling it.

  Despite being contacted by a total stranger—me—Bethany wholeheartedly agrees to come to our spur-of-the-moment party today. We agree on a time before Lena’s due to come back and give her the address and directions to the Hunter house.

  I can’t help the rush of excitement that hits me as we wait for Bethany to arrive. I’ve got a few friends who had kids fairly young—small-town life doesn’t give teens much else to do with their time—and their baby showers were always a blast. With hot guys all around and enough gifts to damn near overflow the van, this one’s sure to be a hit.

  Callie runs to the door when the bell rings and flings it open. A young woman, about thirty I’d wager, with long, dark brown hair and big brown eyes stands there, holding a bag even bigger than the ones I picked out, trying to juggle the weight of that with a ginormous gift basket in one arm and baby Bradley in the other.

  “Oh, my God, ma’am, let me take something for you!” I push past Callie, who’s too preoccupied tickling Bradley’s wiggling feet to think about easing poor Bethany’s load. “Hi! I’m Molli. We spoke on the phone. Here, I’ll take the basket. Come on in!”

  “Hi, Molli, nice to meet you. Call me Beth. Thanks so much—it’s hard enough to carry this little guy without the other stuff weighing me down.” She smiles, and I can see why Lena said that adult Bradley was a hottie. He must take after his mom. Er, will take after her? I wonder how that works.

  This is kind of the perfect opportunity for Oren, Kalen, and Finn to start our side quest.

  “Hey, Oren, come help Beth with the baby!” I turn to our guest. “My boyfriend’s great with kids, Beth; he can watch him while we set up.”

  Just don’t mention he’s a water-touched fae who can sense and heal injuries. He’s the first one I want to get their hands on Bradley, because he’s the closest we have to a life-touched fae. Without one of those, we’re kind of shit out of luck on a quick way to read the changes left from the speed-aging and subsequent reversal back to normal.

  As I hand the kid over to Oren, I fight the sudden sting of tears in my eyes. I’d had a life-touched fae sterilize me in Faerie because I thought I’d live there forever, and I wasn’t ready to get pregnant. Now? Now I’ve been banished from the Faerie Realm, so there’s no going back to undo the process. Kind of sucks when I think about it; Cherry and Lena seem so happy to be preggers—well, Lena doesn’t ever really seem that happy, but Cherry’s excited.

  Oren takes the baby with an expert grip, and I wonder how many fae babies he’s held.

  I wonder if he regrets my decision.

  “Hello, there, good sir! Let’s have a look at you, hm? We’ll go play in the living room.” He’s kind of adorable with the little guy.

  Before I can fawn over the scene too much, Beth clears her throat, and I realize we’re still crowding the doorway, blocking her entrance. “Oh, shit! I’m sorry, Beth. Come on in.” God, I’m an idiot.

  Bradley coos and grabs hold of one of Oren’s ears, and my man laughs.

  Beth, on the other hand, stares open-mouthed at the pointed tip to his cartilage.

  Shit. Forgot about that. I nudge her side and whisper in her ear. “They’re punk rockers. From Ireland. That’s why he has the accent, and why they all look alike. Faerie mythology is huge there, so they had, um, implants put in their ears to look more like fae folk. That’s also why they all dye their hair to match their knotwork tattoos. It used to help them sell gigs.” I push up my sleeves to show my own knotwork tattoos—real ink, as opposed to the fae birthmarks, but they’re close enough in appearance that Beth could easily mistake theirs for inked designs like mine. Their hair’s also not dyed—it’s as natural as their “tattoos”—but I’m not about to go into that with a total stranger.

  Beth nods in apparent understanding and smiles at Oren, extending a hand. “Hello, Oren. Pleasure to meet you.”

  Oren takes her hand and bows to kiss the back of it, all the while maintaining his handle on the squirming baby. Mad props, Oren.

  “Milady,” he says, and I poke him in the ribs. “Apologies, Bethany. Old habits.”

  “Yeah.” I rush to come up with an excuse for his odd choice of language. “From the shows they’d do. These guys of mine were always in character, and they’ve kind of carried it over to their
jobs at the Ren Faire.” Oh, my God, I’m rambling. Again. Someone save me.

  Thankfully Cherry walks in, and she welcomes Beth with a friendly handshake and a hug. She leads our guest into the living room, and the rest of us follow suit.

  In the living room, the rest of the “household,” minus Lena and her boyfriends, crowds into the large open space. Beth’s eyes damn near pop out of her skull at all the hotties we’ve got in there. I try to remember if I warned her there would be an unusual number of men at this baby shower, but I think it slipped my mind. I’ve gotten so used to having three guys around me all the time that I forgot most women these days don’t exactly live the same way me, Cherry, and Lena do. Oops.

  Cherry makes the introductions flawlessly, even picking up on my little white lie about Oren, Kalen, and Finn’s exotic looks and playing along, and I swear I owe her, like, a hot fudge sundae or something for keeping our cover.

  Once I explain to the others who the baby is, Kalen and Finn toss me almost imperceptible nods before they go over to where Oren plays with the little kid on a play mat Beth produces from a diaper bag I had misconstrued as a gift for Lena. As someone who’s seen fae magic at work before, I catch sight of the sparks of colored light from their magics before Beth has a chance to see it, and I grab her arm and divert her to the snack table.

  Callie’s cell phone rings, and after a hushed conversation she interrupts the small talk to announce that Lena’s on the way back.

  Cherry perks up. “Oh, Beth, do you mind parking in the garage? Lena might suspect something’s up if she sees your car outside.” She takes her van keys to help rearrange the vehicles, and while they’re gone we put the finishing touches on the decorations.

  I’m kind of proud of myself for finding exactly what we need. Blue and white balloons and streamers, snacks—complete with an entire five-pound bag of coconut shavings for Lena to put on whatever the hell she wants—and a coconut cake with coconut frosting. The bakery at the grocery store even piped the words “Welcome Baby Ben!” in blue frosting on top of the cake for no extra charge.