Brew Ha Ha Box Set: Books 1-4

by Bria Quinlan

Great. I was being tossed over for someone he might someday meet just like me.

  “You too.” Seriously. Someone just like him. Only without the best guy friend who couldn’t compromise.

  Trey shook his head one time and headed toward the door. Adam just looked down at me like I’d done something horrible on purpose. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Uh, you too?”

  He joined Trey at the door, giving him a slap on the back before they headed out into the already dark late-afternoon.

  5

  DATING TRUTH #3: My mama always told me, dating was like a box of Crayons. Wait. What?

  I stood at the table, watching the closed door and wondering if I was on one of those weird MTV shows. I should have guessed three hours ago it was a set up. No guy could really be that perfect, right?

  “Sarah?” John called me from behind the counter. “Everything okay?”

  No. No it wasn’t.

  I fell into my chair and stared at my tea.

  The scrape of wood on wood had me glancing up to watch John join me.

  “The date looked like it went pretty well.” John pushed a fresh pot of tea my way.

  Teapots. Charming.

  “Yeah. It was pretty much perfect.” I poured us each a cup of tea, watching the amber liquid splash about in the shallow white porcelain. “How’d you know it was a date?”

  “I run a café. They’re like the number one spot for first dates.” He lifted his glass, smiling at me over the rim. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re staring at the door and looking a bit disappointed then?”

  I didn’t really want to have this conversation. I was still working to rewrite the positive text messages I’d been composing in my head during the date. Instead of Jane! Met the man of my dreams—can’t wait for you to meet him! I was now dealing with, Met the man of my dreams. After one date he threw me over for his best friend.

  Not very complimentary.

  Jane, of course, would make a completely inappropriate comment about him secretly being gay. Which I would know was wrong and unfair on a lot of levels, but would still make me feel a bit better.

  “Come on now.” John pulled his chair in and set his elbows on the table. “I’m basically the sober version of a bartender. You’d be shocked what people tell me.”

  Why not? Texting could be tedious anyway.

  “Okay.” I sipped at the tea and totally got derailed. “Wow, what is this?”

  “Chamomile with lemon grass and a bit of ginger.”

  “It’s soothing with a bit of a kick.”

  “That’s the point. I’m still working on just how much ginger is enough, but not too much.”

  “You made this?”

  “Yup. I’ve started blending the teas. I’d like to start measuring them out for sale.”

  Brilliant.

  Between that and the new art, John was really adding some nice touches to his venture.

  “Anyway, what prompted sadness after a great date?”

  “Right. So, that was Trey…I should back up.” Might as well. I was going to be seeing a lot of John over the next two weeks. “I had plans for a girls’ night on New Year’s with the dregs of the single girlfriends. And they all came back from Thanksgiving with boyfriends.”

  John nodded. It wasn’t like it was a surprise where this was heading.

  “Next thing you know, I’m the seventh wheel on girls’ night, which is now new couple’s night.”

  “So, you thought you’d find a date online.”

  It had been more than that I realized. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to tell John—even if he was my sober bartender.

  Realizing I was suddenly the last single girl…it had been a little depressing.

  “I have almost three more weeks till New Year’s. I thought I’d be able to post my profile and get to know a couple guys online the first week, spend the middle two weeks getting to know each one, and then have a week buffer hoping one might come with me to the Murder Mystery Dinner thing.”

  “Makes sense.” John poured a bit more tea and waited for me to continue. When I didn’t, he asked, “So, how’d the first date go?”

  I sucked in a deep breath trying not to sound let down. “That was actually dates one and two. Date One went great. We really hit it off. Date Two got here, ended up being Date One’s best friend, and they went with some childhood pact to never fight over a girl, and left.”

  “Wait, they left even though you technically hadn’t met Date Two yet?”

  “Yup.”

  “Date One went really well and he just left because you’d emailed his best friend a few times?”

  “We’d emailed once and he said with the holidays being so busy we should just meet up.”

  “So, you’d gotten one email from him? I spend more time emailing people to unsubscribe from those annoying marketing emails.”

  I snorted tea out my nose. It wasn’t pretty, but it just made me laugh harder.

  “Date One is showing a severe lack of intelligence. He’s going to be single forever.”

  “He’s a really nice guy.”

  “That doesn’t make him any less stupid.”

  “Actually, he’s a doctor.”

  “A stupid doctor.” John shook his head. “On the upside, if your first date—”

  “First two dates.”

  “—was that good, that means you’ll be finding the right guy. Now that you’re out there putting your mind to it. I’m sure you can do anything you put your mind to.”

  “Oh, thanks.” That was really sweet.

  “How many dates have you scheduled?”

  “Five.”

  “Nice. Like one of those Crayon starter boxes you get when you’re a kid. You’ll have a whole rainbow thing going on.”

  I’d settle for just one right hue—I mean, guy. Or a guy named Hugh.

  “Have you ever done online dating?” I asked. They say most people had, right?

  “No.”

  Or not.

  “Okay.” I wasn’t sure what else to say short of How ‘bout those Pats?

  After a moment John the-sober-bartender added, “I was actually in a pretty long-term relationship until a few months ago.”

  Again. Oh.

  “I’m sorry?” I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be sorry or not. I hated blind conversations like this.

  “No. It’s okay. She didn’t like how much time starting my own business took. Also, she said she hadn’t signed on for this.”

  “For a coffee shop?” Who ever really assumes they’ve signed on for a coffee shop?

  “For me not making a lot of money. Coffee shop startups aren’t exactly raking in the dough. This one is barely cutting even.” John winked at me and smiled before adding, “I’m lucky I get a lot of neighborhood walk-through business in the morning. Commuters catching the train.”

  “It’s good to have a niche. So, what had she signed on for?”

  “I was in finance.”

  “A lot of people are.”

  “No, I mean, I was fast-tracked. They expected me to be sitting in an executive office by the time I was forty.”

  Wow. Over achiever much? That made my career drive look lazy.

  “But that’s not what you wanted?”

  “I thought it was. And then one night I met some friends for dinner. I hadn’t seen them in almost a year. They were talking about the movies they’d seen, the books they were reading, the concerts they had tickets too. And then I realized I was thirty and working eighty-hours a week and missing my life.”

  “That’s a lot to realize during one dinner.”

  “Tell me about it.” John sipped at his tea slowly, as if he were stalling the story out or reconsidering it in his head. “I called in sick the next day. I thought they were going to send an ambulance to my house. I’d crawled in to work near death before and I couldn’t get the admin to believe I wasn’t dying. But how do you say, I just need a day away from all of you?”

  “Mo
st of us say it just like that.”

  He laughed, snorting a little of the tea he sipped. “Right. Now I know that. Anyway, I went for a walk and found this place. It looked exactly like the kind of place I should have been hanging out at on Saturday mornings. Drinking my coffee, reading my paper, maybe a dog tied under my table outside. I came in and the owner, Fredrick, joined me. We got to talking. One thing led to another and here we are. You know.”

  Um. No.

  “How exactly does one thing lead to another to owning a coffee shop?”

  “Fredrick told me he was selling. We joked about me buying it. I went back to work the next day, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I did what finance guys do, I ran the numbers. I called him and asked him to fax his financials. I ran more numbers. I wrote up a plan that weekend, got the loan, bought the place and quit my job.”

  “Wow.”

  “Right? Only, I’d tried to talk to Sheila about it and she kept dismissing it. She thought it was a whim. Like how we always said we should go to St Maarten. But it wasn’t. Then, when my hours grew while my paycheck shrunk, she got really confused.”

  Made sense. The power couple suddenly unbalance. The woman not sure what to do with all the changes. I could understand how that would be a lot to take in.

  “How long did she last?”

  “Less than a month. And of course that was the worst time. The two months before I opened and the first after opening were all trial and error.” He leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. “Looking back, it’s horrible to say, but I was maybe a little relieved when she called it quits. It was too much trying to balance all the new startup and her suddenly wanting my attention. It wasn’t like I’d had tons of free time before The Brew.”

  Whoever this Shelia person was, I didn’t think I liked her.

  “So, no,” he continued. “I haven’t tried online dating. I think I’ll give it the old-fashioned try first.”

  Before I could ask what that meant, he was clearing the tray away and heading for the counter.

  Maybe the holidays would bring us both what we wanted.

  6

  Suit & Tie Plus – My life is pretty full. I’m blessed with lots of little joys. Looking for someone who enjoys quiet nights at home and is good at saying what’s on her mind. No cream puffs. I want a woman who knows what she wants and is good at drawing boundaries.

  “Hey, Sarah!” John waved from the counter where he put together Ernest’s tea tray.

  I waved back as I wandered over to the comfy seats by the fire, tossed my jacket over the back of one and set my bag down. The art wall was still pulling my attention. My fingers itched to lower the paintings about an inch and a half. It was invaluable. Everyone hung their walling décor too high.

  “You’re eyeing my art again.” John had snuck up to look over my shoulder.

  “I am.”

  “I’ve been playing with it. Shifting some things around. I sold one for him.”

  “That’s great. He’s really talented.”

  “So, what time is Date Three going to be here?”

  “In about thirty minutes.” I turned to face him before I could ask for a ladder and toolbox. “How’s Ernest?”

  “Still grumpy. But as my one regular, he’s allowed.”

  “A few more dates and you’ll be able to call me a regular too.”

  “Here’s hoping.” He shoved his hand through his hair and out of his eyes. “Can I get you something?”

  “Have you been playing with any more teas?”

  “Today’s special practice blend is green tea with chipped coconut.”

  “Great. I’ll try that.” I followed him to the counter and watched him measure leafy things into a small bag before tying it off.

  I pulled out my wallet and dug around for a five. One of the reasons I’d been getting to the café before my dates was to buy my own drinks. It felt weird to go through the whole who-buys-what thing while I was date shopping.

  “Put your wallet away. You’re my guinea pig.”

  While that was really sweet, watching him struggle to get this café moving meant I couldn’t imagine taking my tea for free.

  “John, I can’t expect you to give me tea every time I’m here.”

  “Trust me. With some of my practice blends you’ll be thinking I should pay you.”

  As he turned around to put the tea tray together, I glanced for the tip jar. When I didn’t find one, I leaned over the counter and slipped the five under the register’s keyboard.

  “Here you go. Good luck with Date Three.”

  “Thanks.” He really was sweet. Plus, The Brew Ha Ha was exactly the type of place people liked to come in and feel at home in. It had to gain traction soon.

  I set the tray on the coffee table and settled back to wait. I spent the time reviewing Date Three’s profile for things to discuss.

  It was almost seven when a haggard looking man attempting to corral three children rushed in. He brought the kids to the counter and let them each pick out a treat. While they did, he glanced around the café, his gaze landing on me.

  He looked oddly familiar. Maybe the family who lived upstairs from me? I dismissed the idea as soon as I’d considered it. If this was the upstairs family, I’d have moved out already. The boys alone made enough noise for four families.

  They settled at the far end of the café at a collection of tables. The man pulled out a bunch of games and coloring books and leaned in to give them what looked like a stern lecture.

  Instead of sitting down, he turned and strode across the café. Stopping in front of me. Oh, lord. No, please.

  “Sarah?” Date Three had a nice voice, was good looking, and seemed to be struggling not to look frazzled.

  “Malcolm?” I was still hoping I was wrong. That the oddly familiar face wasn’t from his profile pics.

  But at his name, he seemed to relax.

  “It’s nice to meet you.” He stuck his hand out and waited while I stood and shook it. “Sorry about the kids. My sitter canceled at the last minute and since we didn’t swap phone numbers I wasn’t really sure what to do.”

  I almost told him ninety percent of people under sixty had a smartphone so an email would have done it. But I could see he was really working to make this as not awkward as possible.

  Malcolm had been very sweet in his emails. He hadn’t mentioned his kids, which seemed like a huge oversight. I understood a lot of women might shy away from giving a guy with kids a chance, but wouldn’t you want to know that ahead of time? But what were you going to do? I could go with it.

  He set his coffee down and settled into the chair next to me, pushing it a bit so he was only halfway facing me.

  “So, this is great. Nice coffee shop. I’ve never been here before.”

  “Thanks. All I did was pick it. John, the owner, is the secret behind the magic.” I followed Malcolm’s gaze toward his kids. “So, do you—”

  “Jeffery.” Malcolm half stood, pointing toward the table where his kids sat. “Put that down. You brought your own coloring books.”

  Jeffery looked like he was going to ignore the commandment, hugging the coloring book to his chest.

  “You also have your Gameboy. That’s going to have to be how you spend your time. Now hand her back her book.”

  The little girl next to him with a blue crayon gripped in her hand held out her free hand with a dignity you expected from a queen. Jeffery tossed the coloring book down in front of her and picked up his game.

  “Sorry about that. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find a babysitter.”

  “No problem. Kids can be a handful.”

  “Do you have any kids?”

  Seriously? I almost told him if I’d had kids they would have been mentioned in my profile. You know, that page with all your important information?

  “No. No kids.”

  “Have you been married before?”

  Again. Profile page.

  Come to thin
k of it, I didn’t think I picked anyone who had been divorced. I remembered thinking anyone who was divorced at my age was probably in a different place than I was. Maybe later, but it just seemed so foreign an idea at twenty-nine.

  “Never married.”

  “Don’t—” Malcolm shot out of his chair. “Matthew, what made you think hitting your brother with a coffee mug would be acceptable?”

  Malcolm rushed across the room as John met him at the table, trusty towel in hand to mop up the spilled hot chocolate.

  I watched as Malcolm wrapped his hand around Matthew’s arm and leaned in to have a quiet—although intense looking—conversation. Matthew’s lips tightened into a little pucker as his gaze shot toward me.

  John straightened, watching the byplay between father and son before glancing my way.

  When the quiet conversation ended, Malcolm straightened, gave the whole table a stern look, and headed back to me.

  “Sorry about that.”

  “Um, no problem.”

  “So, we were talking about you. You’ve never been married. You work at a museum. How do you like that?”

  “A lot actually. I’m lucky to do something I love. I handle the special events at a small private museum. Very select loan and viewing programs. My job lets me handle the events start to finish. It’s always exciting to get to bring an idea from start to showing.”

  “That’s…um, interesting. So, you do things like hang stuff on the walls?”

  “Well, there’s more to it than that. Hanging art is an art form in itself. If they aren’t set up to be viewed properly, it can make or break the show. And not doing my job makes an artist look bad.”

  Malcolm just looked at me like that wasn’t just a new idea, but a really boring, unimportant one.

  “Your profile said you worked at Carmel Financial. What do you do there?”

  “I’m a corporate advisor.”

  “I’m not sure I know what that means.” I smiled at him, giving him the open to tell me about his job or change the topic.

  “Really?”

  I tried not to be insulted at the way he said it. As if I as stupid for not knowing what his job did.