Brew Ha Ha Box Set: Books 1-4

by Bria Quinlan

I sat there, gazing at the fire, drinking my oddly comforting milk thing and wondering if I was engaged or not.

  I mean, knowing Connor it’s not like he’d expect me to say no…or yes. He’d just state we were getting married and be done with it. No one would be surprised.

  He’d probably just call his people—who he had decided were also my people—and BAM. Sneak-attack wedding. I’d never see it coming.

  Luckily handfasting was no longer valid and legal.

  Not that I Googled it or anything…and then got distracted by pictures of Jaime—I mean, Sam Heughan.

  “So?” Abby sat down, crossed one oversized Mary Jane over the other, and gave me her typical What have you crazy kids gone and done now look.

  “What?” I asked, because did I really want to be beholden to Abby?

  She rolled her eyes so dramatically I thought she might make herself pass out. There was definitely an eye-rolling epidemic going on around here.

  “So why are you here at the crack of dawn, drinking comfort milk, and waiting for your girls to show up?” She leaned forward, her eyes narrowing. “Did Muffin Guy dump you?”

  “Muffin Guy?” Of all the things she could have nicknamed Connor, that hadn’t even crossed my mind.

  “It’s not every guy who will get up early to use his complete lack of baking skills to make you a muffin.” She went on to defend him before I could let her know that, no, I hadn’t been dumped. And he was adorable when he attempted to bake for me.

  This was true. If only the world knew.

  Scratch that.

  The last thing I needed was women thinking Connor was hotter.

  Except maybe Connor thinking Connor was hotter.

  “Well?” Abby wasn’t exactly one to let things go.

  “He...he might have—”

  A pounding on the window cut me off mid-sentence. Jenna, Kasey, and Jayne stood outside shivering in the fluffy, light snow drifting down and painting their coats white.

  “I suppose you want me to let them in.” Abby glanced toward the door. “It’s kind of nice with just one of you. Maybe we could limit the number of people allowed in at a time.”

  “You do. It’s called a fire ordinance and I’m pretty sure it’s more than one.”

  “Yeah. Well, a girl can dream.” She pushed herself out of the overstuffed chair and wandered over to the door, completely ignoring the fact that it was freezing outside. Cracking it open just enough to speak to my friends, she went on, “You all want to come in now too?”

  Kasey gave the door a little push and strolled in, Jayne shaking her head and following.

  “Don’t think that just because I made her comfort milk you guys get some too.” Abby crossed back over and sat down on the loveseat like she belonged there.

  The girls hovered, staring at her before glancing to me and back again. I shrugged. It wasn’t like she wouldn’t ferret out what was going on and chime in anyway.

  She might as well do it in real time.

  “So, ladies, you’re here because he dumped her.” Abby shook her head like this was a tragedy, but one she believed.

  “He dumped you?” Jenna’s eyes went round behind her glasses. Of course this would shock her. She had all of our lives mapped out to happiness and mine was contingent on Connor and the happy couple gene she was sure we shared. “Seriously?”

  “No. Not seriously.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes at Abby, glad to give it back to her for once.

  “Really?” Abby sounded more surprised than anything. “Well, that’s good. I was afraid he was being a complete idiot.”

  I stared at her, a bit shocked by the vehemence ripping the edges of her tone. “That is probably the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  Abby shook her head. “Don’t get used to it.”

  Of course not.

  Dangerous territory. Like a spider with a web, dragging you in with silky, invisible threads of kindness.

  “So, Connor didn’t dump you,” Jenna hedged. “But there’s an emergency?”

  I glanced from girl to girl, realizing I’d gotten them out of the house hours before most of our careers had us out of bed…hours after most of us had just gone to bed, and suddenly felt stupid.

  “He, umm…” Maybe I could pretend this was a surprise party for something. Nothing really came to mind though. “Umm…”

  “Okay, why don’t we do this one question at a time?” Jayne patted my knee then leaned back in her chair giving me space. “Is this about Connor?”

  I nodded. That was easy.

  “Good. Nice.” She smiled encouragingly. “Did something bad happen?”

  I stared at her, struggling to define bad.

  “All right,” Jayne nodded like it was okay. “Maybe bad is too broad. Obviously something sent you into emergency mode. Let’s back it up. Did Connor do anything on the breakup list?”

  I tried to shake my head, but then realized I had no idea what that was. “What’s the breakup list?”

  “You know. The breakup list.” Jayne glanced around the circle, obviously frustrated when everyone, including Abby, shook their heads. “The list of reasons you’d break up with a guy.”

  “You made a list?” Kasey sounded a bit worried as she asked. “When exactly did you make this list?”

  “Um, always.” Jayne looked around. “You guys don’t make breakup lists?”

  “Are they different for every guy?” Jenna reached in her bag, trying to very subtly pull out her always-present notebook. “Is there like a master list and each guy gets say…seven added for him?”

  “Why seven?” Abby looked at Jenna like she’d lost her mind. “Why not two or forty?”

  “Well, forty seems excessive.”

  “For the love of color swatches everywhere! A list of reasons to break up with someone seems excessive.” Kasey stared at Jayne as if she’d never seen her before, a friend of a decade, and chewed at her bottom lip.

  “Getting back to the list…” I hedged because this was far more interesting than whether or not I was engaged. Or at least that’s what I was telling myself.

  Jayne shrugged, obviously knowing this group too well to try to dodge the question.

  “You know, every guy is different. You have the standard ones such as if he cheats on me. Then with other guys you’d have things more specific to them, like if he works too much. Etcetera, etcetera.” She rolled her hand in front of her as if that explained it all.

  Everyone stared at her, not quite sure what to say. Okay, not everyone.

  “What if the guy works too much, but that wasn’t on the list?” Oh, nice question. Score one for Abby.

  “He gets a pass for a while. Then you address it. Then you address it again. Then you add it to the list.” Jayne counted each progressive item off on her fingers as she went.

  “So basically, what you’re saying is everything is on the list?” Kasey gave her A Look. I was really glad Jayne was taking the hit on girlfriend-judgment today. Especially since no one had had caffeine yet.

  “No. Just a couple things.” She was starting to sound a bit defensive, as if finally realizing no one else thought this was completely normal.

  “But,” Kasey pushed, “everything has the ability to end up on the list at any time?”

  “Of course.”

  “And,” Kasey pushed on, “do you take something off when you add something? Is there a limit? Does the guy suddenly get a pass on something else? Do bad things come off if he hasn’t done them in a while? Like getting off probation?”

  “Are you saying that dating me is like a prison sentence?” Jayne asked, her voice dropping dangerously.

  “Well, I hadn’t been…” Kasey stated, leaving a door wide open.

  We all watched Kasey, waiting for her to extrapolate.

  “You know what?” Jenna stood up. “I could use some caffeine to help with translating all this craziness. Maybe Abby could do our orders early—” She raised her hand to stop Abby’s protest. “We’l
l wait for you to come back to dive into everyone’s insanity. And when you’re back, we’ll start with Hailey’s bat signal.”

  Everyone’s gaze slipped my way. I shouldn’t have wanted off the hook. I was the one who called them all in a panic. But now that they were here, I didn’t know how to do this without making myself look like an idiot. Or Connor.

  I loved my friends, but I sometimes felt like they were still all waiting for a reason to hate him. It made me especially protective, not only of him but of our relationship.

  Abby headed toward the counter without taking our orders, and started blending and mixing things at a faster than normal pace. Apparently everyone was interested in the current love life messes we each were building.

  No one pushed while Abby was gone—probably partially because she threatened to withhold their caffeine indefinitely if they did.

  I closed my eyes, resting my head back against the overstuffed cushion behind me and replaying the morning. It was typical Connor. He was both impulsive and strategic. I suddenly wondered how many insane ideas he talked himself out of with Gavin as his sounding board.

  Maybe that’s all this was. Maybe he thought marrying me was an insane idea. Maybe the whole good talk thing was because he’d gotten the idea out of his system and moved on.

  What if—

  “Hurry up, Abby!” Jayne stood and rushed over to help her bring all the drinks in one run. “I can see the panic setting in.”

  Jayne and Abby handed out the drinks and sat down, everyone looking at me expectantly as if I was just going to dive into the point.

  “I might be engaged!” Okay, so I was going to dive right into the point.

  You’d think an announcement like that would merit some type of reaction.

  Wait for it…wait for it…wait for—

  Or, not.

  “Did you hear me?” I asked, glancing around the circle. “I said, I might be engaged.”

  “Huh.” Jenna gave me one of those smiles that lulled you into thinking she was completely innocent. “So, I might be congratulating you…right?”

  I sighed, dropping back in my chair and closing my eyes again before gathering my already annihilated wits and glaring at each friend in turn. Then I glared at Abby, because if she wanted in on this she deserved a little glaring too.

  “You guys really fail at morning emergency meetings. If it’s before the alarm clock or there’s no alcohol involved, a girl just can’t count on you.” I glanced around the room, trying to figure out why people weren’t telling me what to do. These women excelled at being opinionated. Especially… “Abby. Seriously. Et tu? No opinion?”

  Abby shrugged and pulled her phone out, frowned at it, and put it away.

  “I have to admit, I’m afraid I’m delusional from the lack of caffeine and the obscene hour my phone started chirping. But,” Kasey glanced around the others, obviously trying to garnish support, “I’m not sure how you can maybe be engaged.”

  “Also, honey, do you want to be engaged?” Jenna smiled at me, all soft and stuff, but the question hit me in the gut like a fastball.

  “Why wouldn’t I want to be engaged?”

  “You mean to Connor, right?” Abby asked. Why exactly was Abby here? I mean, besides that she worked here and was supposedly supposed to ensure our café needs were met?

  “Yes.” I tried not to shout, but this wasn’t going how it was supposed to go. A girl has engagement—even maybe-engagement—expectations. “To Connor. What is wrong with you guys?”

  As they all glanced away, not meeting my eye and for once locking me out of our typical communication circle, I began to panic.

  More than when Connor woke up and went insane this morning.

  “Guys, come on?” I laughed, trying to lighten up the mood. “What’s with all the worry-shmorry?”

  “It’s just…” Jenna’s gaze swept around the group before she powered on. “Well, you’ve only been together a couple months and Connor doesn’t have the best reputation. I guess we just all thought you’d test these waters a bit more.”

  I collapsed back in my seat, every muscle in my body wilting into mush.

  All this time I’d thought they’d forgiven Connor for how things started with us. I mean, they were the ones who encouraged me to be more open-minded. To let go of the stupidity we both showed when we met.

  Now I find out none of them thought we’d make it.

  I studied the group, pity coming through each face at their agreement with Jenna, until I got to Abby. She looked…thoughtful.

  “What about you?” I tossed a decorative pillow at her when she continued to gaze off into the nothingness. “Ms. Truth Speaker, what do you think?”

  Abby shook her head as if clearing it then glared around in her typical unsubtle manner.

  “I think you all have a lot of drama in your life for people who don’t actually do anything dramatic.” She stood, brushing away imaginary crumbs on her apron. “I think I was right about limiting how many of you are allowed in the café at a time.”

  With that, she stormed her way around the counter and through the doorway to the backroom.

  And that is how an a.m. bat signal turned into an emotional butt-whooping.

  3

  When our breakfast meeting didn’t get any better, I headed out to the gym to pound the snot out of something.

  I left in a flurry of Don’t worrys and I’m sure it will all work out. But not one tone of excitement or joy.

  This wasn’t how I pictured getting engaged…or maybe-engaged.

  I wasn’t one of those girls to sit around planning my wedding, but the idea that the man I love might actually want to marry me, a man who could almost literally have any woman he wanted, and my girlfriends’ reaction was all, “Oh, yeah. Okay. Um…”

  Well, it more than stung.

  Luckily, when I called ahead to the gym to reserve a fitness room, there was actually an opening. Maybe I could sneak in without my insane trainer spotting me, enjoy a little pro-health therapy, and sneak back out.

  “Hailey!”

  Or not.

  “Shawn, what’s up?” I gave him my most casual smile, pulling my gym bag up on my shoulder and trying to power through the lobby before more questions were asked.

  “Looking for a workout?” He grinned. He was always grinning. He managed to be the nicest taskmaster on the planet. There was a chance that he and Jenna were separated at birth.

  “Nope. I’m just going to grab a mat and do some weights and—”

  “Hailey.” He gave me A Look. Again, Shawn. Jenna. Separated at birth theory. “You called ahead to reserve a room with a speed bag. I know you better than that.”

  “Right. So…I’m just going to go get to it.”

  I headed through the lobby, flashing my pass at the girl at the front desk as I went by.

  I tossed my bag into the corner of the workout room, grabbing my yoga mat and spreading it out in front of the mirror. Before I could even get into a nice, ahhhhh-inducing stretch, Shawn showed up in the doorway.

  "Hailey, you're not going to leave me hanging like this?" Shawn grinned at me, a look I was all too familiar with. Usually it made me nervous, but today I needed to have my butt kicked. "Did you really think you could come in here, looking like that, and you wouldn't be working out with me?"

  I had no idea what he meant by that. But I was a (reasonably) mature adult and would let that go.

  Okay. Maybe not. “What do you mean looking like this?"

  "I mean, that." Shawn waved his hand around between us kind of gesturing to me. "Like Hailey, but a very dangerous Hailey who could take out a small nation just by waving her finger at them."

  I guess I don’t have the whole shake-it-off thing going on.

  "Shawn, my friend, if I could take out a small nation with one finger imagine what I could do to you right now."

  Unfortunately, my false bravado didn't scare the man off. Probably because he taught me everything I knew. Of course, no
ne of that included destroying small countries, so everyone was safe.

  But, like a good trainer does, he beat me up for the next hour. I worked muscles I hadn’t known I had. He’d obviously been leaving those muscles top secret for a bad day. Which means who knows what he had in store for a really, really bad day.

  As he finished abusing my body, I dropped down on my mat, looking forward to a nice, long stretch to cool down.

  “So,” Shawn dove right in, no longer keeping us both focused on everything so tightly since the major part of the workout was done. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

  I glanced at him, doubting I’d get any further sympathy from my male trainer than from my female best friends. But, who knows? Maybe a guy’s point-of-view was what I needed.

  I opened my mouth to spill it and realized how much dating Connor Ryan—one of the most famous athletes in the country—meant protecting my privacy for more reasons than just my own sanity.

  Shawn squatted down next to where I was stretching my quads, back to the door.

  “Listen. I know that things are different for you now. That you have to guard your back—and your boyfriend’s back—and that there are some people...” he gave a discreet cough and nodded his head toward where the front desk would be on the other side of the gym, “who would take advantage of you. But I’m not one of them. We’ve been together a long time. I hope you could count me as a safe place. Like a bartender of fitness.”

  I laughed as he smiled over that, clearly liking the analogy.

  I took a deep breath. The thing about Shawn was he’s my trainer. He liked Connor, but he was my trainer. And, he’d never been judge’y about our relationship.

  “Okay.” I took a deep breath. “Connor pulled the oddest thing I’ve ever seen a guy do this morning and it kind of freaked me out.”

  Shawn looked at me like he wasn’t sure what to say. And who could blame him?

  “I didn’t really see it coming,” I continued. “I mean, he just woke me up and sprung it on me. This isn’t the type of thing you spring on a girl.”

  “In the bedroom?” Shawn asked, looking at me like he wanted to back out of the room.

  “Well, yes. But I don’t see what room we were in as having anything to do with how weird it is.”