A Heart Not Easily Broken

by M.J. Kane

  Chapter 25

  “Doctor Lofton, are you sure?”

  “Ebony, go home. There’s nothing you can do. Nala is being taken care of.” The head vet led me out of the clinic and pointed in the direction of my locker.

  “Please call me if─”

  “If anything changes, I’ll call you. Go home and get some rest. You need it.”

  The clinic door closed firmly in my face. As much as I wanted to keep a watchful eye on the orangutan, what Dr. Lofton said rang true; I was exhausted. Spending the weekend in the overnight room on a cot and taking showers in the staff bathroom had not been the best place to rest.

  Then again, I barely got rest at home.

  I cleaned out my locker and headed for my car.

  The last three months were taking their toll. Nightmares plagued me. Coffee and five-hour energy drinks kept me on my feet. Neither was good for my health. I even managed to lose a few pounds.

  My grades were slipping and the three-point-nine GPA I’d maintained for the past seven years dropped a point.

  To my dismay, I found myself thinking about the offer Dr. Jacobs made months ago when everything was right in my little world. Though I’m sure at this point the terms would have changed. Although I hadn’t threatened him in any way, I still could, and therefore secure the position of Veterinarian Technician in the spring.

  As sick as the thought of stooping to his level made me feel, the idea of losing everything I’d worked for over the last seven years made me sicker.

  The last couple of months changed my entire outlook on life and left me a hermit in my own home. Keeping the secret of my rape wore me down.

  With Brian gone and me avoiding my friends, caring for Nala became my lifeline, the one thing grounding me in a life that became one big fat lie. It seemed as if I lied to everyone around me.

  ‘Busy, but okay,’ became my typical response when Kaitlyn asked.

  Though I never outright lied to Yasmine, it was failure by omission when she talked about her relationship with Javan, and I remained silent.

  And I lied to Brian by using work and school as an excuse for feeling down.

  Brian. As much as it hurt lying to him, he was the one thing keeping me from giving up and moving back to North Carolina.

  The bright spot in my life was the fact he’d return home in a few days. No more waiting to hold him, smell him, or feel him lying next to me. Knowing Brian loved me was not enough. Nothing replaced seeing it in his eyes, feeling it in his touch.

  I needed him desperately.

  But the need brought fear. Fear that he’d somehow find out about the rape. Fear Javan’s threats would come true. Fear Brian would leave me.

  I could not dwell on that thought.

  When I arrived home, my roommates’ cars were in the driveway. That was odd. Normally, Yasmine arrived home after I did and Kaitlyn came last. As an assistant costume designer for a T.V. show, she worked long days, traveling for costume fittings or purchasing new pieces.

  If they were both here, something had to be wrong.

  I closed the door behind me. “Kaity, Yaz? Where are you?”

  “In the kitchen,” Kaitlyn replied.

  I dropped my book bag down in the living room. The aroma of Mexican food greeted me from the kitchen.

  “Surprise!” they yelled in unison.

  “What’s going on?”

  Yasmine stood at the counter, a bottle of Tequila in one hand and a daiquiri mix in the other. Ice sat in the blender on the counter.

  Kaitlyn sat at the table spooning portions of takeout food onto plates. “Girls’ Night of course, what else?” she said in her Texas twang.

  “Don’t even think about saying no. We took off work early for this. No excuses. I don’t care if you’ve got a project due tomorrow and you haven’t done a thing to get started. Which is highly unlikely though.” Yasmine paused, started the blender, and then sipped her concoction. “Damn, that’s good.” She filled three empty glasses before continuing. “Tonight is about us women and everything feminine.”

  “Right, Yaz is gonna do pedis and manicures. I’ve picked out these cute little outfits for us. Don’t laugh, they’re supposed to be crazy lookin’,” Kaitlyn said.

  For the first time, I paid attention to their attire. Tank tops, booty shorts, and flip-flops. Hawaiian leis were on their necks and ridiculously large sombreros were on their heads. Yasmine wore a pair of extra-large sunglasses around her neck.

  “Before you say a thang,” Kaitlyn continued, “I know you’re wonderin’ where your fabulous outfit is. Check your bed. Go on, go change, we’ll be waitin’ on ya.” She made a shooing motion with her hands.

  “But─”

  “This daiquiri is not going to stay frozen forever. Hurry up, girl,” Yasmine added.

  I shook my head. Hanging with the girls doing silly stuff at home had been a monthly tradition since college. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d done it. Despite my efforts to evade their questions for the past three months, I missed this. Maybe, just this once it would be okay to let my guard down and pretend everything was normal. No matter what all went on in my life, I still had my friends. And soon I would have Brian again.

  The sting of excitement brewed in my chest. I ran upstairs to change into my crazy get up.

  They laughed upon my arrival into the kitchen; it immediately felt like old times. We ate, drank, danced, and cleaned up the kitchen while listening to music. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had this much fun.

  The next phase of the evening turned to watching movies. Over the years we’d collected a vast amount of romantic comedies. Since we could never agree on what to watch, we’d devised a system in which we picked a number. The highest number and corresponding DVD would be the winner. Tonight’s selection, Fools Rush In.

  None of us really watched the movie, since we’d seen it more than fifty times. Instead, we sipped on our third round of daiquiris while taking turns getting our nails done. Before long, men became the subject for the evening.

  “Luke’s a pretty good guy. He is so tall I have to stand on a box to kiss him,” Kaitlyn said.

  “What happened to Justin?” I asked.

  Both women looked at me. “Uh, we broke up two months ago. Girl, you’ve been in a whole ’nother world,” Kaitlyn replied. “But I understand. It won’t be long before Brian’s back.”

  “I can’t wait.” I felt the dreamy smile spread across my face. They laughed.

  The drinks were definitely working their magic. For the first time in months I acted like my old self.

  “Speaking of which,” Yasmine said, “I’m planning an anniversary party for me and Javan.”

  “What?” Kaitlyn asked in surprise.

  My mouth went dry. Anniversary? They were still together? I was sure my expression echoed Kaitlyn’s statement.

  “How long have you guys been goin’ out?” she asked.

  “Next week will be eight months.” Yasmine peered down in her glass, as her voice lowered. “I think it’s turning into something serious.”

  I was unable to keep my mouth closed as it fell open. Bile began boiling in my stomach. Oh, no…

  “As crazy as it sounds, I’m in love with him. I said it would never happen again, but it has.”

  Kaitlyn looked on in awe. “Wow, I thought he was just a straight hit and get it guy.”

  Yasmine burst out laughing. “Kaity, that sounds so crazy coming from you.”

  “What? I’ve been around you guys long enough to get hip.” She added a neck roll to punctuate her statement.

  The conversation became background noise to my thoughts.

  This wasn’t right. Yasmine wasn’t supposed to love him. Her standard operating procedure was sleep with a guy for a few months, dump him, and move on. Why was she still with him? I banked on, no, counted on, her leaving him. If that happened, he would be out of my life as much as possible. So what if Javan was Brian’s ro
ommate? I could avoid going to his house and dealing with him. I could avoid being in the place where my life changed for the worst. After all, Brian said he intended to move when he got back.

  But I could not avoid seeing him at my home. And I would not stand by and watch my friend continue to­

  “Marriage may be in the works.”

  Kaitlyn squealed and leaned over the sofa to give her a congratulatory hug.

  Maintaining as much composure as possible, I excused myself, moved quickly down the hall, and emptied the contents of the evening’s festivities in the toilet.