An Amish Christmas Wedding

by Amy Clipston

  “No.” Emma Grace hugged her. “You’re mei schweschder. You belong here, and so does Dat.” She looked up at Lorene. “I want us to always be close.”

  Lorene nodded. “Fine. But I want you to be honest with me if it gets too crowded here. You deserve happiness with your new husband.”

  “Danki.” Emma Grace looked at the clock on the wall. “Oops. It’s time to get the steaks ready. I want to marinate them the way Jon likes them.” She looked at Lorene. “Danki for letting me invite Ryan. It’s important to Jon and me that we remain close with our families after we’re married. I appreciate that you’re trying to be freinden.”

  Lorene gave a little snort as she took the cake saver from the pantry. “I doubt we’ll ever truly be freinden, but I’ll always be civil to him.”

  “You never know,” Emma Grace sang as they loaded the cake into the container.

  Lorene did feel a little flutter at the idea of seeing Ryan again tonight. Then she dismissed the thought. “Where are those steaks?”

  * * *

  Ryan stepped into the front office at the shed shop and found Jay sitting at his desk. Peter was perched on a nearby stool. “That shed is finished, and I need to head out. My driver is here.”

  “Where are you going?” Peter asked.

  “To Lorene’s haus.” Ryan stilled when he realized he’d said Lorene’s house instead of Emma Grace’s house. Why did it still feel natural to refer to the Bontragers’ home as Lorene’s?

  Jay’s brow knitted. “Why are you going there?”

  “Emma Grace is throwing a surprise birthday party for Jon, and mei mamm begged me to go.”

  Pete wrinkled his nose. “Why don’t you want to go? Sounds like there will be kuche.”

  Jay turned to his son. “You were too young to remember, I guess, but Ryan was engaged to Lorene about five years ago.”

  “Wait a minute.” Pete held up his hand as if he were answering an arithmetic question at school. “Jon is marrying your ex-fiancée’s schweschder?”

  Ryan nodded and felt a bit uneasy.

  To his surprise, Pete laughed. “That’s awkward.”

  Ryan grunted. “That’s putting it mildly. I’ll see you.” Then he gave them both a little wave before heading to the parking lot.

  As he walked toward his driver’s waiting van, Ryan tried not to think about the surprise party Lorene threw for him years ago. But the memories still formed in his head, and he realized just how much he still missed her.

  * * *

  “Surprise!” Lorene called along with the rest of the crowd.

  Jon laughed as he stepped into the family room, then joined Emma Grace. “This is why you were so naerfich when we talked last night.”

  Emma Grace grinned. “I wanted everything to be perfect.”

  “And it is.” Jon kissed her cheek.

  Lorene’s heart clenched as she once again watched the love pass between her sister and her fiancé.

  Jon scanned the crowd. “Is Ryan here?”

  “He should be on his way,” Verna said.

  Lorene hoped Ryan hadn’t stopped to pick up a girlfriend on the way. Then she scolded herself. She had no right to be jealous of a girlfriend when she was the one who broke their engagement.

  “Let’s eat!” Maranda announced, and everyone laughed.

  Elias got Barbiann settled in her high chair and Maranda in her booster seat while Dat and Rufus took their seats at the long table. Then Lorene helped the women serve the meal, all Jon’s favorites—steak, baked potatoes, green beans, and homemade rolls.

  When everyone was seated, Lorene looked at the empty seat between Dat and Rufus, wondering if Ryan had seen enough of her at his parents’ house and didn’t want to come tonight. He probably told his mother he’d be here just to satisfy her, all while planning to come up with an excuse for his absence.

  “Brot!” Barbiann moaned. “Brot!”

  Joyce pivoted toward her and whispered something as she handed the little girl a buttered roll. The toddler took the roll and bit into it, sighing as she ate. The tenderness between mother and child warmed Lorene’s heart and sent longing through her.

  Joyce was the same age as Lorene, and like Renae, she had everything—a loving husband, a home, and children. Suddenly Lorene’s loneliness squeezed her chest so hard she felt as if she couldn’t breathe. She needed to get out of there.

  “Lorene?” Verna leaned over and touched her hand. “Are you okay?”

  “Ya.” Lorene tried to smile, but it wouldn’t come. “I just need to get some air. It’s hot in here.”

  “Are you krank, mei liewe?” Dat’s voice was full of concern.

  Lorene pushed back her chair and stood. “No, no. Please just excuse me for a moment.”

  Lorene made her way through the mudroom, then stepped onto the porch and sucked in the cool evening air, taking in deep breaths. Beautiful streaks of orange and yellow lit the sky.

  Leaning forward on the railing, she tried to imagine how life would change when Jon moved in. Even though Emma Grace insisted Lorene should still live there, she wasn’t convinced. She’d no doubt interrupt intimate conversations in the kitchen and hamper their ability to be themselves.

  Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the hum of an engine and headlights bounced up her driveway. Ryan had made it!

  Lorene’s stomach dropped, and she considered fleeing into the house to avoid another awkward conversation alone with him. But her feet didn’t move. It was as if they were cemented to the porch floor as a van came to a stop. Ryan climbed out of the vehicle, spoke to the driver, and then started for the house.

  As he approached the porch, he looked up at her, a tentative smile appearing on his face. He stopped short of the steps, holding a brown bag.

  “Hi. I’m sorry I’m late. I had to finish a shed before I could leave. It’s being picked up for delivery tomorrow.”

  “It’s fine. We haven’t had any kuche yet. How are you?”

  His brow furrowed for a moment, and then his expression relaxed again.

  “I’m fine. Just busy at work.” He lifted his straw hat with his free hand and pushed back a few of his curls, a mannerism she’d seen so many times when he was nervous. “How about you?” he asked.

  “I’ve been busy too. Emma Grace and I were cleaning all day, then making supper.” She smiled, shaking her head. “She was scattered, worrying everything wouldn’t be perfect for Jon tonight.”

  Ryan suddenly grinned, and his genuine smile sent a shock wave of heat through her veins. “Remember the surprise party you threw for me when I turned twenty-five?”

  Lorene couldn’t stop her bark of laughter. “How can I ever forget that disaster?” Then she counted off the infractions on her fingers. “I burned your kuche, I didn’t make enough food for the guests, and Emma Grace spoiled the surprise by asking you what time you planned to arrive.”

  Resting his foot on the bottom step, Ryan leaned forward. “But it was fun. Definitely the most memorable birthday I ever had.”

  “I’m sure it was.”

  They both fell silent as they stared at each other, and the intensity in his eyes sent a tremor through her. She suddenly longed to have an honest conversation with him as questions filled her mind. Do you still care about me?

  Then she shook herself. She had to face the truth—again. What went wrong between them could never be fixed.

  She turned toward the door. “Come inside. I’m sure the food is still warm.”

  “Danki.” He appeared behind her, holding the door open as she walked into the house.

  “Ryan!” Joyce called when they entered the kitchen. “I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

  “I was worried you forgot how to get here,” Jon quipped, and everyone laughed.

  “Very funny,” Ryan deadpanned, but a smile played on his lips as he handed his brother the bag. “Happy birthday, baby bruder.”

  “Danki.”

  Lorene sat down between Verna a
nd Joyce as Ryan took the empty seat across from her and bowed his head for a silent prayer.

  “Still busy at work?” Rufus asked Ryan after he’d looked up.

  “Ya.” Ryan began cutting the steak he’d just plopped on his plate. “I’m late because a shed had to be ready for delivery tomorrow.”

  As he fielded questions about his work, Lorene struggled to keep her gaze off his attractive face, trying in vain to hold back memories of their time together. How she missed him! Her feelings for Ryan had never disappeared, no matter how hurt and angry she’d been when she broke their engagement.

  Once everyone had finished eating, Lorene helped the other women clear the table and pile the dirty dishes next to the sink.

  Emma Grace stepped to the refrigerator and removed the cake saver. “It’s time for kuche.” She gazed at Jon. “I made your favorite.” She took the cake out of the saver and brought it to the table, and everyone gasped.

  “Wow.” Jon smiled up at her. “It’s perfect.”

  Lorene stepped to the percolator to make coffee.

  “Let’s sing,” Verna announced, and everyone stood to gather around Jon.

  Lorene sensed someone watching her as she sang “Happy Birthday.” She gazed across the table to find Ryan looking at her. She smiled at him, and when he returned the gesture, she was sure her cheeks were turning red.

  Emma Grace cheered when they finished the song, and then she began slicing the cake.

  Lorene pulled dessert plates from a cabinet, grateful for a moment to look away from Ryan.

  She couldn’t help but wonder if Ryan still felt something for her. Or was she just imagining the attraction that seemed to radiate between them?

  * * *

  Ryan sat on the porch with Dat, Jon, and Menno after they’d eaten the cake and watched Jon open his gifts. Three lanterns illuminated the porch in the darkness.

  Jon turned to Ryan while the others were engrossed in a conversation about the trials and tribulations of running a dairy farm, their usual topic of conversation.

  “I was only kidding when I said I thought you forgot your way here,” Jon told Ryan while keeping his voice low. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “It’s okay. I thought it was funny.” Ryan stared out toward the dark pasture, recalling the conversation he’d had with Lorene earlier on the porch. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way she’d laughed when he mentioned the surprise party she’d thrown for him. She seemed relaxed, perhaps even eager to share their memories together.

  Soon he found himself lost in memories of her—holidays, birthdays, church socials. He missed her so much that his heart ached. He’d dated a few women in Gap, but none of them had come close to Lorene.

  Closing his eyes, he silently prayed.

  Lord, I’m confused. Why would Lorene appear in my life again when I can’t have her? What are you trying to teach me?

  Opening his eyes, he turned toward the kitchen windows and spotted her talking to Mamm. He marveled at her beauty, then shook his head. Why hadn’t one of the bachelors in her church district won her heart and married her?

  Then a fleeting thought sent a thrill shuddering through him. Did she miss him too?

  No, she couldn’t. After all, she was the one to end their relationship. She was the one who’d stomped on his heart and left him over an unbuilt house. She was the one who never gave him the opportunity to explain. He had to keep reminding himself of that.

  The back door opened, and Elias walked out, cradling a snoring Barbiann in his arms. Joyce followed, holding a yawning Maranda’s hand.

  “We’re heading home.” Elias grinned. “The kinner have had it.”

  After saying good night, Elias and Joyce ferried the children to their waiting horse and buggy. Ryan waved before the horse pulled the buggy down the driveway toward the street.

  Emma Grace stepped out onto the porch, touched Jon’s arm, and then held up a flashlight. “Could we go for a walk before you leave?”

  “Of course.” Jon took her hand, stood, and then steered her down the steps toward the path that led beyond the largest barn.

  Ryan watched them walk away, their outlines turning into silhouettes in the dark. Jon leaned in close and said something to Emma Grace before kissing her cheek. The affection sent a pang of longing through him. If he’d made different decisions, would Lorene still have married him?

  “It’s colder out here than it was last night,” Dat commented as he pulled his jacket tighter over his midriff. “Winter is on its way, and Christmas will be here soon.”

  “Ya.” Menno turned toward Ryan. “Does your business slow down during the winter months?”

  Ryan nodded. “A bit, but some businesses still need buildings in winter. We have enough orders to sustain us.”

  Dismissing thoughts of Lorene and what he’d lost, Ryan settled into an easy conversation about work.

  After a while, the door squeaked open, and Mamm appeared on the porch, wearing her jacket and carrying her tote bag. “It’s getting late. We should get on the road.”

  Lorene stepped out behind her. She hugged her arms to her chest, and Ryan took in how beautiful she looked in the green dress and black apron she wore. He’d always admired how green complemented her flaming red hair and ivory skin.

  “Danki for helping Emma Grace have the party here.” Mamm gave Lorene a hug, and Lorene patted her back awkwardly. “I’ll see you when you come over with your schweschder to work on the wedding preparations.”

  Dat stood and shook Menno’s hand. “I guess that’s my cue to go.” Then he turned to Ryan and shook his hand. “I hope we’ll see you soon, sohn.” He pulled a flashlight from his pocket and flipped it on.

  Mamm hugged Ryan and then shook Menno’s hand before following Dat down the steps.

  Ryan peered over his shoulder to where Lorene lingered by the door. Did she want him to invite her to sit down and visit? Yet she wasn’t wearing a sweater or jacket. Maybe she was hoping he’d leave.

  But her gaze was pinned on something out beyond the porch. Ryan turned and spotted Jon and Emma Grace walking together, hand in hand, then turned back toward Lorene. Now she was looking at him. His mouth dried as something unspoken seemed to pass between them. He wondered again if she missed him. And if she did, did she miss him as much as he missed her?

  “Why don’t you have a seat, Lorene?” Menno asked.

  “O-okay. I’ll be right back.”

  She disappeared into the house, then reappeared wearing a heavy sweater and sat down in a rocker between Menno and Ryan.

  They all sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes, and Ryan finally decided to leave. He didn’t want to wear out his welcome anyway.

  “I should give my driver a call and get home. I have to work a half day tomorrow to supervise when the crew loads that shed I mentioned.” He stood and shook Menno’s hand. “It was nice seeing you again.”

  “You too,” Menno said. “You know where the phone is. Help yourself.”

  Ryan turned to Lorene and held out his hand. “Danki for allowing mei mamm to invite me. I had a nice time visiting with you and your family.”

  She hesitated, studying his hand for a moment. Then she grasped it and shook it. The feel of her skin against his sent an explosion of heat zipping up his arm. When he held on to her hand too long, she suddenly pulled it back as if it were on fire.

  She stood, her eyes wide. “Take care.” Then she spun and hurried into the house.

  Ryan stared after her. How he longed to run after her. The desire to ask her if she still cared for him gripped him. But after murmuring good night to Menno, he descended the porch steps and headed toward the phone shanty, feeling as though he were leaving a piece of his heart with Lorene.

  7

  Verna stood from one of her sewing machines almost a week later and turned toward Emma Grace. “We made a lot of progress on your dress today.”

  “We did.” Emma Grace smiled as she peered at the green garment. “I
love the color. It’s so Christmassy!”

  “It’s perfect.” Lorene stood and glanced at the clock on the wall, finding it was almost four. “It’s getting late.”

  “Can you both stay for supper?” Verna turned toward Emma Grace. “I know Jon would love for you to stay so you can visit.”

  Emma Grace gave Lorene a hopeful smile. “Can we stay?”

  “You stay. I need to get home and cook for Dat. I just have to call our driver to come and get me. I told him I’d call when we were ready to go. I’m sure Jon will take you home.”

  “Danki.”

  Lorene followed Verna down the stairs to the kitchen. Then she headed outside to call her driver from the barn. She hugged her arms to her waist and shivered as the November chill seeped through her blue dress and black apron. Leaves blew around her feet as she peered up at the large, fluffy clouds in the sky. It would be getting dark soon, another indication that winter was on its way to Lancaster County. She should have grabbed her shawl before she rushed outside.

  As she approached the barn, she stilled, and then her heartbeat sped up when she spotted Ryan standing by the fence talking to Rufus. She swallowed back her anxiety and plastered a smile on her face as Ryan turned toward her, then gave her a surprised expression. She waved and kept going, pushing the ribbons on her prayer covering over her shoulders as she continued toward the barn.

  “Lorene.” Ryan jogged up beside her. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

  She stopped and faced him. “Your mamm invited us over to work on the wedding dresses. We got a lot done this afternoon.” She pointed toward the house. “She also invited us to stay for supper, but I need to get home to cook for mei dat. Emma Grace will stay, but I’m calling for my ride. Dat needed the horse and buggy today.”

  “I can give you a ride in Dat’s buggy. Jay asked his driver to take me to Bird-in-Hand to run some errands for him, and then I had him drop me off here so I could visit awhile. But I’ll just bring Dat’s horse and buggy back here and then call my driver.”