by Amy Clipston
“Nee, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn. Besides, I’m just yer assistant, yer right hand. Yer left hand, actually.”
Mary almost smiled, but she was still concerned. “You have yer own job.”
“Which is slow right now.”
She quickly looked toward the kitchen, then lowered her voice. “Really? Even with the quilt chest Daed asked you to make for Mamm? I don’t want to put you out.”
He sighed and moved to sit next to her on the couch. “If this was going to put me out, I wouldn’t have offered to help. Now’s not the time to be stubborn.” He paused. “Unless you really want to tell Quinn you can’t do it. I’m sure she would understand.”
Her friend would, but Mary didn’t like the idea of letting her down. “All right, but we’ll have to come up with a plan. And I’ll have to teach you the basics of cake decorating. Plus we have to get the ingredients—”
“Slow down a bit,” Jakob said. “I’m sure we’ll figure everything out.”
“In a week?”
Jakob’s brow lifted. “Didn’t Quinn say the wedding is on Christmas Eve?”
“Ya. But she and Tanner are coming next week to taste the sample cakes I need to make so they can choose which flavors they want. I also planned on decorating them so they could tell me if they’ll look all right.”
Mamm walked into the room with a mug of coffee, steam swirling from its top. “Fresh brewed,” she said, looking at Jakob. “I hope you can stay awhile. Nee need to rush off, you know.”
Mary thought she saw a glimmer in her mother’s eye. Surely it wasn’t hope—an expectation that anything romantic could still develop between her and Jakob. She’d have to explain later that, yes, they were back to being friends after a rough year, but that was all.
Even though for some unfathomable reason, her heart seemed to want more.
Jakob took the mug from her mother and smiled. “I’ve got plans to stay awhile.”
* * *
One week, one bag of flour, two bags of sugar, and three pounds of butter later, Jakob sat at the Wengerds’ kitchen table across from Quinn and her fiancé, Tanner. They were taking in the four small, round mini cakes, and to his surprise, he was a little nervous. He glanced at Mary, who was biting the inside corner of her lip. It wasn’t obvious, but he could tell. And now he was paying attention to her mouth, which wasn’t the first time he’d done so since he started helping her with the cakes.
Get it together. He didn’t need to be indulging his feelings right now, as confusing as they were. He needed to focus on whether Quinn and Tanner liked any of these cakes.
Over the past week, he’d put aside his own responsibilities, including working on Maria’s quilt chest, to help Mary. It was worth every minute, as well as the early mornings and late nights he’d had to put in. Setting aside the past year and getting back to his friendship with Mary had felt good.
But for reasons he couldn’t comprehend, he was also feeling a new attraction to her. Why, of all times now, he didn’t know. But at least he’d had the distraction of working on the cakes to keep his mind off his perplexing feelings. Yet every time he left her house, his heart missed her, and it had all started the evening she injured her arm, when he picked her up and carried her to her couch.
Mary’s leg started to bounce up and down, something she also did when she was nervous. Without thinking, he put his hand on her knee under the table. She stilled. Then she grabbed his hand and held on to it. He knew pleasing Quinn was important to her, but he hadn’t realized how important.
“I can’t believe you two did this for us.” Quinn’s eyes grew soft. “Mary, you didn’t have to make these cakes. I would have been fine with store-bought, considering your accident.”
Mary smiled but still held on to Jakob’s hand. “I wanted to do this for you, and I’m glad Jakob was able to help me since Mamm is just too busy with our sewing orders.”
He tried to ignore the warm feeling flowing through him at her touch and smiled at Quinn. “I was glad to do it, although we had quite a bit of trial and error with the decorating. I need to practice making the holly berries a little rounder.”
Quinn laughed. “I never thought I’d hear you say that, Jakob.” She looked at the cakes again. Each one was a different flavor, but they were all decorated with a white buttercream frosting, green holly leaves and red berries, and some silver sparkly things he couldn’t remember the name of but Mary insisted Quinn would like.
“Don’t the cakes look delicious?” Quinn said, turning to Tanner.
He nodded, rubbing his hands together. He was a large guy who looked like he enjoyed eating.
“I’ll cut them, then.” Jakob lifted a small slice from each cake, putting them all on a plate he then handed to Quinn. He did the same for Tanner. They dug in with gusto as Jakob turned to Mary. “Do you want some?”
“I’m a little tired of cake.”
“Same here.” They had baked and taste tested more cake and frosting than he cared to think about. Even the faint sweet smell of the cakes was turning his stomach.
Tanner and Quinn spent a minute or two savoring each bite. “Wow,” Tanner said, rolling his eyes as he took a bite of the Italian cream cake. “I definitely want the chocolate for the groom’s cake, but this is amazing.”
“They’re all wonderful.” Quinn smiled at Mary. “I don’t know how we’ll pick just one for mine.”
Mary finally let go of Jakob’s hand, her shoulders relaxing. “I’m glad you like them.”
Tanner scraped frosting from the plate. “Don’t you want the Italian cream, Quinn?”
“Yes. I really like the strawberry, though.”
“The strawberry is good.”
As Quinn and Tanner tried to decide, Jakob glanced at Mary, pleased to see the smile on her face. She was in her element, making someone else happy. And seeing her happy made him happy too.
“Do we have to choose one?” Quinn said. “Would you mind making two different flavors?”
“Or three? I like the yellow too.” Tanner grinned.
“Tanner,” Quinn said, elbowing him.
“I’m just kidding.”
“I can do all four if you want.” Mary sat up straighter, all traces of nervousness gone. “We can make each cake with two flavors. Or four smaller cakes.”
Quinn frowned. “That’s too much work.”
“But would you like all four flavors?” Mary asked, leaning forward.
Quinn nodded, as did Tanner.
“Then four flavors it is. Just let me know in what form, and we’ll do it.”
Quinn and Tanner thanked Mary profusely, and then the four of them talked for a little while. Jakob learned that Tanner was a business analyst in Cleveland, and that he and Quinn had met at a mutual friend’s birthday party. “We hit it off immediately,” he said. “Sometimes right off the bat you know you’ve met the one for you.”
Jakob thought about Tanner’s words as he washed the dishes after the two of them left. Mary’s parents were out visiting friends, and outside a light dusting of snow was falling. The house was cozy, wood burning in the stove warming the room. The Wengerds had already decorated for Christmas with pine boughs, holly berries, and plenty of candles, all currently unlit except for one in the kitchen, which emitted an apple cider scent, Mary’s favorite.
“Anything else you need me to do?” Jakob asked, turning to Mary as he dried his hands on a kitchen towel.
“Nee.” She wiped the rest of the table. “I think Quinn and Tanner are happy.”
“They’re very happy.” He hung the towel and walked over to her. “Are you sure you’re willing to bake four cakes?”
She nodded. “Mamm has already offered to help with the final cakes now that she’s making headway with our Christmas orders, and baking four instead of two won’t matter much. She wants to contribute to Quinn’s wedding, even in a small way, and she said she’ll make time.”
Jakob was a little disappointed to hear that. He’d w
anted to help Mary with the wedding cakes, but then again, his decorating skills did leave something to be desired. Besides, he had a lot of work to catch up on. He’d received two orders the day after she broke her elbow, and he still had to finish the quilt chest. “I hope yer mamm can live up to mei decorating skills.”
“You gave her a high bar, but I think she’ll be fine.” Mary smiled. “Danki, Jakob. I feel much better about the wedding cakes now.”
Jakob’s heart leapt. Her smile was so beautiful it could put sunsets to shame. Corny but true. He could stand in this kitchen forever and stare at her, but she would think he’d lost his mind. He was wondering if he had. “Guess I’ll be going, then.”
She didn’t say anything as they walked to her front door. He put on all his outerwear, then turned to her. “If you need anything, you know where I am.” Unable to help himself, he took a step closer to her. “Anything, anytime.”
Mary nodded, and he sensed something in her expression that made his heart jump again. But before he could contemplate it, she’d opened the door. “Be careful,” she said.
Obviously, she was ready for him to go. Which made sense. It wasn’t her fault he wanted to linger . . . forever. “See you later,” he said, then stepped out into the cold.
“See you later.” She shut the door behind him.
Jakob headed down the driveway, glancing over his shoulder at the house, which looked so warm and inviting. He tucked his chin into the collar of his coat and headed home. Maybe the cold air and brisk walk would bring him to his senses. He and Mary were friends, and that was all they would be. It was foolish to think anything else was possible.
When he arrived home, he went straight to his workshop. Not only did he need to work; he needed the distraction. At this point he would do anything to get his mind off Mary Wengerd.
6
“Tell me the truth, Mary.”
Mary looked at Quinn, surprised for the second time this afternoon. The first time was when Quinn arrived out of the blue after the successful cake tasting last night. Mary was still relieved that she and Tanner liked the sample cakes—and that her mother had again offered to help make the cakes for the wedding. Mary had pared down her initial decorating ideas when she’d broken her elbow, but Mamm was a decent cake decorator anyway. And fortunately, Quinn and Tanner had been fine with the simple frosting decorations.
But she was a little worried about why Quinn was there. “The truth about what?”
“You and Jakob.” Quinn leaned forward, her long blond hair falling over her slim shoulders. They were sitting in the kitchen again, and Quinn was getting straight to the point. “Don’t tell me I’m seeing things. I noticed how you two looked at each other last night.”
Bother. Hopefully Quinn hadn’t seen how Mary had held Jakob’s hand under the table. What had she been thinking, doing that? She’d been nervous about the cakes, and Jakob knew that. But she had also been growing jumpier around him, which was why she’d rushed him out the door last night. Her feelings were getting harder and harder to hide, and now Quinn had picked up on them.
Oh no. What if Jakob suspected something too? “We’re just back to being good friends,” she said, rising from the table. Her arm had started itching under the cast, and she resisted the urge to scratch it.
“I can see that.” Quinn set down her coffee and stood. “Mary, we’ve always been open with each other. I told you about Tanner as soon as I met him.” She paused. “Don’t you trust me enough to tell me about you and Jakob?”
“Yes, of course I do.” Mary put her hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “I’ve always trusted you.” She dropped her arm, then sighed and leaned back against the counter. “I just don’t trust myself. At least not when it comes to Jakob.”
“So there is something between you.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She shook her head, frustrated, then looked at Quinn. “We tried dating—and look how that turned out.”
“But you still have feelings for him.”
“They’re new feelings, though. I have no idea where they came from, or why I never felt them before.”
“Maybe you stopped overthinking things for once.”
Mary frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Do you trust Jakob?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “I do.”
“Have you always?”
“Of course I have. He was—is—my best friend.” This conversation was starting to sound more like an inquisition.
“Did you trust him when you were dating?”
“I . . .” Had she trusted him?
“Is it possible you were so afraid your friendship would be adversely affected that you never gave him your heart?”
“I don’t know. I thought I did. But I’m not sure of anything anymore.”
“Here’s what I think. You like Jakob as more than a friend.” Quinn’s eyes took on the dreamy look she seemed to always have lately. “From the looks of it, he likes you that way too.”
She wished she had Quinn’s confidence. “How do you know?”
“Intuition.” She led Mary back to the table, and they both sat down. “The question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing.”
Quinn scoffed. “That’s not the right answer.”
“It’s the only answer.” Mary leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. The apple cider candle burned in the middle of the table, filling the kitchen with its sweet scent. That usually comforted her, but lately nothing gave her peace. “I’ve prayed about this, Quinn. And I still don’t see Jakob and me together in the future.”
After a pause, Quinn nodded. “I felt the same way about Tanner.”
Mary’s brow lifted. “Really? I thought it was love at first sight for you both.”
“It was for him. And I thought it was for me, but I started getting cold feet. You know my dating history isn’t the best. But I realized I couldn’t judge the future by the past. And Tanner is a wonderful man. He isn’t perfect. No one is. But he has a strong faith, he’s loyal and committed, and most importantly, he’s patient with me.” She grinned. “How could I not love him?”
Mary thought about Jakob. He embodied all the qualities that were important to her—faith, kindness, loyalty . . . Her list was similar to Quinn’s, which didn’t surprise her. But Jakob also gave her someone she could trust—completely. She trusted him with everything. She always had, except when they were dating. Why had she held the most important part of herself from him?
“I have an idea,” Quinn said. “Invite him to the wedding. He can be your plus one.”
“Plus one?”
“Your date.” She smiled. “And treat it as a date. Maybe all the two of you needed was some space to appreciate each other. Now that you’ve had it, you can get back together. Maybe even have your own Christmas wedding.”
“Now you’re talking nonsense.” But her heart warmed at the thought. Then she paused. “What if he says no?”
“Then you’ll know for sure that you aren’t meant for each other romantically.” Quinn leaned back in her chair. “But he won’t say no. I’m a hundred percent sure of that.”
After Quinn left, Mary thought about what she said. She ran her palms over the skirt of her emerald-green dress at the thought of asking Jakob to Quinn’s wedding. She was excited about the prospect. Still, something held her back, but she wasn’t sure what. She needed to pray about it more, to ask God for clarity. She still had a few days left before the wedding, still time to determine if she could risk his saying no. She didn’t know if she could handle that.
* * *
The day before Christmas Eve, Jakob was exhausted. He’d spent many hours working in the shop, especially finishing Maria’s quilt chest and on a special project he’d decided to do at the last minute. But his mind and heart were never far from Mary.
He yawned as he began work on a small bread box he had promised a Yankee couple would be done tomorrow morning.
He’d sand the top, and after ensuring it was completely smooth, he’d apply a coat of varnish to the whole thing. Then he would turn to the special project, hidden under a tarp with Maria’s chest. He had the window partway open to let in fresh, cold air, while a small gas stove heated the shop enough that the varnish wouldn’t be too difficult to work with.
“Jakob.”
He stilled at the sound of Mary’s voice, sandpaper in his hand. “Hi,” he said, pleased and surprised to see her. He also reminded himself he had to manage his emotions. Friends, remember. “Uh, what brings you by?”
She walked into the shop but stopped a few feet from him, brushing the toe of her boot against the floor.
Frowning, he set down the sandpaper and went to her. “Is something wrong?” He didn’t like the somber look on her face. “You didn’t reinjure yer elbow, did you?”
Mary shook her head, lightly touching the top of the cast cradled in a sling. She didn’t usually wear that unless she was leaving the house. “It’s fine. Other than the itching, that is.”
He remembered that from when he broke his ankle when he was eight years old. “Try not to think about it. That usually worked for me.”
“All right.” But she wasn’t looking at him. She was distracted, so he waited. Whatever she wanted to say, she’d say it when she was ready. But he wished she would hurry up already. One day at a time. Taking his own advice, he resisted the urge to look back at the bread box he should be sanding right now. Mary was more important.
“I, uh, have something to ask you.” She rapidly tapped her finger on the top of her cast. After another long pause, she said, “Quinn’s getting married tomorrow.”
Jakob chuckled. “I’m aware of that.”