We Go Forward

by Alison Evans

  "Christie," Roslyn says when we're both back in our room. Anna is still up. She's been talking to a friend on the phone for about an hour, even though it's three a.m. and Roslyn's voice is croaky. "That was so great." She pauses. "What you did."

  "Least I could do," I say, then I close my mouth because if I talk too much, I'll vomit. The world won't stop spinning and the dark makes it worse.

  "Amazing," she mumbles.

  "I used to think I was the only one, too," I say. Roslyn might be asleep, but I need to say it, and now's a good a time as any. "Didn't want her to feel the same way. I reckon like…" I pause, the world spinning too much from the whisky. "If she didn't react the way she did, we might've been kicked out into the snow in the dark, but I'm glad she went with joy and free alcohol."

  She laughs. "Definitely the better option."

  "Night, Roslyn."

  "Night."

  *~*~*

  The morning comes too quickly. Because we left the curtains open, we wake as soon as the sun starts coming up. My mouth tastes like death and my eyes are going to fall out of my head. I look over at Roslyn and see she's in the same boat.

  I rub my eyes and they come away smudgy and dark; I didn't take my make-up off last night.

  We get showered and dressed in slow silence, Roslyn brushes her teeth as she watches me apply new eyeliner over the old, rather than wash it off. I can't be bothered when my head hurts this much. I get some glittery eyeshadow, and after that's on, it barely looks like last night's make-up at all.

  "Yer a wizard, Christie."

  "I try."

  By the time we make it out to breakfast, I'm feeling a little more alive. Anna has cooked more than she advertised on her website and there are things other than sliced meats and cheese and bread. There's fruit, cereal... She has a coffee plunger, and Roslyn's so happy she might cry.

  "You're amazing, Anna," I say, and Anna beams.

  When we've finished the best breakfast I've ever had in the history of my life, it's not snowing and we decide to walk to the train station. That takes about an hour, but it's such a beautiful area that it's barely any effort. When we get off the train, there's all this The Sound of Music stuff plastered everywhere, and it's then that I make the connection that the movie was filmed here.

  "The hills…" I say. "They're alive."

  "This is the garden they dance through!" Roslyn says. "Come on!"

  We run through the gardens because we're those tourists, but there aren't really that many other people out because of the cold. I slip on some snow and fall on my elbows, manage not to break anything.

  "You okay?" Roslyn says as she rushes over and then falls on the same bit of snow.

  "I think I broke my butt," I says, rubbing it when we stand. "Goddamn."

  "Same," I tell her. "Gonna start wearing padded pants."

  "Not a bad idea."

  We're walking aimlessly and eventually find a chocolate shop. Their warm drinks are amazing. We stay there and watch the people walk past in layers of clothing, rugged up against the cold.

  "Look at the cliffs, holy shit."

  They frame the city. The buildings go right up to their sheer grey faces.

  "Let's go."

  When we get to them, we discover there's an elevator that goes up inside the cliffs that leads to the modern art museum. The art inside is electric. Huge canvasses with paint dripping from them, frozen in the drying process, but they look so alive and crawling. There's a series of photos of words on a dark beach. There's so much that I start to forget where my mind is.

  Eventually we move on, and I find a tiny section of the gallery where there's a photoset of five different images, and they're of different places in Australia. There's one of Melbourne, showing a closed Centre Place. The rollers from all the shops have been pulled down and they're all covered in graffiti. It's raining in the picture; the rain is lit by the streetlights. Roslyn's been staring at it for ages.

  I lightly touch her arm. "You okay?"

  "Eh?" she says, snapping back to the present. "Sorry. Yeah."

  "Sure? You looked pretty out of it."

  "Homesick," she says.

  I think I know what I need, I realise after watching her, and I think I've known for a while.

  When we finish the museum, there's a lookout. It's freezing and the wind is much stronger up here. Roslyn swears her head off and I can't help but laugh.

  "You know the river in Berlin, the Spree? That froze over last year, it was so cold."

  "Bloody hell," she says, nudging me. "Wanna go to that fancy-ass restaurant?"

  There's one just behind us that looks over the city. It gets dark so early. It's only five p.m., but the sun's long gone.

  "Yeah, sure thing. I just wanna stay here for a while. It's so quiet." I lean against the railing to look out over the whole city. It's like I've never seen one before. Every so often I forget just how much I love them, but I love the business and the motion, the anonymity.

  I like trains for the same reason.

  "Roslyn." I pause, not sure how to put this into actual words. I knew when she was looking at those photos of her home. "You're going back to Melbourne."

  "Yeah."

  "But like." I chew on my next words. "Are you going to stay there?"

  Of course I know the answer.

  "I think so."

  "I think it might be time to go back." I breathe out and my shoulders relax. Home doesn't need to be a place, I know now.

  "I have a couch," she says as her face breaks into a wide grin. "Til you find a job."

  I don't know how I could have said goodbye to her just yet. "Thanks." It's not a big enough word.

  "I'd kick out my housemate, but that's Jalen. We have a tiny apartment that probably costs too much and is run down, but it's a great location."

  "Are you actually a real estate agent?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

  She leans against the railing and nudges me with her shoulder. "If I were, I would have a lot more money."

  "Are you sure it's okay if I stay with you?"

  "More than sure. You can hang out with Jalen. I'm sure they'll love you."

  "That could be fun."

  "So yeah? That's a yes?" she asks. "I'll email them right now."

  "I'll only stay with you for a little while." I look out across the city again. "I can find my own place."

  "I know. It'll be great." She gets out her phone and starts typing. When it's all done, she looks at me and I meet her gaze.

  "You sure?" she asks.

  I take a deep breath and look out across the lights. The traffic, the tiny people moving around the streets. I'm trying to memorise everything. I won't be able to, but I'll remember the feeling of the city. I always do.

  "Yeah. I'm sure."

  Fin

  About the Author

  Alison is mainly composed of a love for Melbourne. They also enjoy words, art, comics, zines and the internet. They can be found in many places, mostly:

  Twitter: @_budgie

  Tumblr: alisonwritesthings.tumblr.com

  Website: alisonwritesthings.com