by Drew Sera
Colin
I woke up in the early hours of Sunday morning to Arthur shaking my arm. I was confused at first but had enough sense about me to pull Sydney closer. Behind Arthur was a nurse and a cart that contained some supplies. I sat up knowing that she needed to change some of Sydney’s bandages.
Sydney was groggy from all of the medication but once she saw the nurse her eyes popped open on full alert and her calm heart rate had now jumped. Arthur, the nurse and I all focused on the monitor that was telling us she was nervous or scared. Thankfully, the nurse didn’t come over and begin putting her hands on Sydney. I think the nurses and doctors knew that Sydney wasn’t even 48 hours away from her captor.
“Baby…” her eyes roamed around the room, probably making sure she knew everyone in the room and physically saw everyone that there was to see.
Her body was pressed against mine and she tried hiding her face in my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and held her gently while Arthur and I shared a glance. Seconds later I felt her begin to shake. I tilted my head so I could see her face. She was crying but had her mouth clamped shut to prevent any noise from escaping.
“Baby…Sydney, you’re safe. I have you. Tell me why you’re crying, baby?” I tried to give her a moment to respond, but she was so upset. I thought I’d try to help her along. “Are you afraid?” No response. She opened and closed her hand on my chest. I wish I could put her in the same room as Anthony. She pulled her head away from my chest and looked down at the blanket, then nodded. “What are you afraid of, baby? The only people here are the nurse and Arthur.”
Sydney eyed the nurse again, swallowed hard and nodded. I looked up at the nurse and asked if there was something I could help with. I thought perhaps I could make it a little easier for Sydney.
“I need to clean some of the wounds and apply new dressings.”
“That’s all?” I asked and made sure that Sydney was hearing me ask and confirm the only things that would be done.
“Yes, that’s all. We can do a little bit at a time, Sydney.” I was grateful that the nurse was as patient with us as she was.
Sydney sat up and turned to face me, her eyes were pleading with me and my heart broke.
“She’ll be careful and will go as quick as she can, baby.”
I took hold of the hem of her pajama top and the room filled with the sound of her quickening pulse via the monitors. I slowly pulled her top up and over her head and took hold of her shaking hands that were now fists. She focused on looking downward and her body jerked and tensed as the nurse began removing bandages from her back. Sydney wasn’t doing well with this. It was as though she shut herself off and wasn’t even in the room with us. Thinking that it would help offer comfort and a sense of security, I pulled the blanket upward and held it against her chest gently. She made no movement, no indication that she even knew I was here. And honestly, it scared the living shit out of me.
Tears continued to fall silently and I felt like a villain. Through the entire wound cleaning and redressing, Sydney didn’t look at me and her expression gutted me.
“All done, Sydney. You did well, sweetie. I’ll see you in a little while.”
The nurse gave me a warm smile and nodded at me. Before she was out of the room, I was already helping Sydney back into her top and bottoms and helped her lie back down. I stretched out next to her and she quickly took hold of my shirt and looked up at me with those sad, big, blue eyes. My baby was back. I smiled at her and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“I’m proud of you, baby. It’ll get easier. I love you, Sydney. Close your eyes and try to rest. I’m not going anywhere.”
I stroked her hair and occasionally rubbed my thumb over her cheek. Soon she was asleep and I looked over at Arthur. He sat next to the bed and he and I talked off and on quietly for a while.
The next time I woke up, Arthur was talking in the doorway to Matt. Matt was leaning against the doorframe and looked really stressed. Fuck, was something up with Anthony? Matt saw that I was awake now and made his way over to the bed and sat down.
“Hey,” he said and reached up to tuck the blanket around Sydney’s shoulders.
Matt studied everything that was exposed outside of the blanket, which was just her face and shoulders.
“How did she sleep?”
“For the most part pretty well. We had to wake her up a few hours ago for a nurse to change her bandages and clean them. She didn’t do too well with that. She’s so jumpy, and scared…” I was prepared to go on and on but Matt held his hand up and stopped me.
“Col, we found her curled up on a cement floor in a pool of blood. Blood that had been seeping out of that other girl legs as she hung in the closet. She’s going to be scared and jumpy of a lot of things for a while.”
I knew the likelihood that what Matt said was all true. I had to calm down over it.
“How’s Anth?” I asked cautiously.
“Still has the fever.”
“Thank you for staying with him last night.”
Matt gave me a don’t be stupid look and said he wasn’t going to let Anthony be alone up there. The hospital wouldn’t let Blake stay all night but Matt was allowed since he’s a doctor.
“I suppose my night with Anthony was kind of like if he were awake; I talked but he remained quiet.”
Matt and I shared a quiet laugh. Anthony was usually quiet when it came to emotions. While Matt and I were talking, Sydney’s body jerked and began writhing around next to me. Her pulse had jumped and was now racing.
“Nightmare.” I said to Matt and Arthur as I gently shook her.
Like with most of her nightmares, it takes her a few moments to adjust to her surroundings when coming out of them. This was like that, only worse. Much worse. As she began to wake, she shoved my arms away from her. She scooted away from me to the corner of the bed and held her hand outward in a stopping motion.
My initial reaction was to go to her, hold her and comfort her, but before I could act on that Matt stood up and grabbed my arm, preventing me from moving toward Sydney. She was scared. Petrified from whatever the fuck just ran its vile course in her dream. Matt was right to hold me back because she needed to calm down.
“Baby, you’re safe. You’re in the hospital. It’s just Matt, Arthur and I. No one is going to hurt you, baby. I promise.”
I sat towards the foot of the bed watching her put pieces of things together. With the heart rate monitor reminding us how scared she was, Sydney pulled her legs up close to her chest and cried.
“Baby,”
I couldn’t sit here and watch her cry and suffer. When I said her name, she looked up at me and held her arms out toward me, silently begging me to help her.
“Yes, baby. Good girl. I will hold you and won’t let anything happen to you.”
I moved toward her on the bed and she scrambled onto my lap and flung her arms around my shoulders. Her hands gripped my shirt while her head leaned on my shoulder facing my neck. Matt draped the blanket over her shoulders and I made sure to hold her close with my hands splayed wide on her back.
“I’ve got you, baby.”
Sydney remained quiet and stared off at nothing in a trance for the next few hours. I’d talk to her but got little response. Every now and then she would nod or shake her head, and a few times I received a verbal “yes” or “no.” She was trying. I knew she was. Several times I thought about stopping my constant noise, but each time I reminded myself that Chris said talking and the sound of familiar voices was good for Sydney.
I looked over at Matt, fully aware that he was beyond exhausted, and started up conversations with him. Gina and Gloria came in a few minutes before 9:00 a.m. and brought coffee and pastries.
“Coffee, yes please.” Matt sat up straighter in the chair and brought the cup to his lips.
I eagerly sipped and then passed my cup to Matt to set on the table. Gina was running down the list of the baked goods options. It all sounded wonderful and I just needed to e
at.
“Baby, would you like to have a piece of coffee cake or a muffin?”
She shook her head and went back to resting her head on my shoulder. I gave Gina a smile, thanking her for bringing the food. I took her up on one of the pastries. I was so hungry that I wasn’t particular on what kind of coffee cake it was. I broke off chunks of it and shoved the pieces in my mouth.
“Syd, when you get home we’re going to have to have a nail painting afternoon. What do you think?”
I appreciated Gina trying to get Sydney to talk, but I knew this was going to take some time. Gina sat on the armrest of Matt’s chair, hoping for any answer, too. She looked at Matt with a sad expression and repeated the shortened version of Sydney’s name she often used. Still nothing though.
“Syd,” came a third time from Gina, and now Matt was standing, pulling Gina off the armrest and into an embrace.
“Gina…”
Gina struggled in his arms and began crying. Fuck. She buried her face in Matt’s chest and cried. I snuggled Sydney closer and kissed her forehead.
“I want my friend back!” Gina sobbed.
Matt looked at me and then at his folks.
“Gina and I are going to go for a walk.”
I nodded and before they walked out of the room I felt Sydney grip my shirt tighter. Moments after Matt left the room the nurse from early this morning was back. Fuck.
“Morning, Sydney. How are you feeling, hon?” The nurse asked while bringing the cart to a stop at the foot of the bed. She greeted Matt’s parents and me before pulling on some gloves.
Sydney clung to me and I had to try to make this as comfortable as possible. I was about to ask Arthur and Gloria if they could give us a few minutes but Arthur took hold of his wife’s hand and said they would be back in a little while and were going to go upstairs and see Anthony.
“Baby,” I said gently and took hold of her chin lightly. “Sydney…eyes, baby.”
Those dark blues locked on my eyes and I smiled and praised her. I know some would see this as something little and not worth making a big deal over, but any progress with Sydney right now is huge and important.
“Good, Sydney. Baby, the nurse needs to change your bandages and clean the wounds. We’ll start like we did early this morning from your waist up.” With her eyes focused on mine, I knew she heard me. “I’m going to help you out of your pajama top first and then we’ll do the lower part.”
I moved off the bed and carefully pulled her top off and sat down beside her, taking hold of her hand. The nurse smiled at me and moved to the other side of the bed to have access to Sydney’s back. Sydney’s legs hung off the side of the bed and I positioned myself so that I could see how the wounds were doing. Sydney’s hand started squeezing mine and drew my attention to her face. She was in pain and it took all of my own self-control to not pull her into my arms away from the nurse’s hands. The nurse knew though that Sydney was hurting and I’m sure she was trying to go as quickly as possible.
“I’m sorry, hon. Some of the stitches are sticking a bit. I’m going to put a different ointment on them. They shouldn’t stick the next time.”
I clenched my jaw as I watched the nurse slowly pull back a bandage that was partially covering the tattoo on her side.
Love me when I least deserve it because that’s when I need it the most.
I stared at that phrase and saw the gash that had been sewn up. The cut had been on the word “deserve” and was a little bit below the word. There were several other marks around the area, but only a deeper cut on the word “deserve.” From my memory, I pulled the videos of Paul whipping her while her arms were chained above her head. The cut was from the whip.
Pulling myself from the anger that I felt, I relaxed my jaw. Sydney would be able to tell what I was feeling and she needed nothing but comfort.
“You’re doing well, baby.”
To say that getting through the bandage changing and wound cleaning on the upper portion of her body was easy, was far from the truth, but it went much better than the lower half. Sydney had to lie down, and when the pajamas bottoms and panties came off, she closed her eyes and refused to look at me. I stood next to the bed and assessed some of the damage while I held her hand. The monitors continued to tell me that she was nervous and I fixed my gaze on it.
“Mr. Everett.”
I turned my attention back to the nurse when she said my name. She nodded in the direction of Sydney’s body to pull my attention back to my baby. The hand of Sydney’s that I wasn’t holding, was covering herself between her legs. Tears were silently streaming down her face and her body began to quiver.
“Baby, it’s okay. You’re doing so well, Sydney. She’s almost done.”
It fucking broke my heart. The nurse continued moving as quickly as she could and I sat on the bed, pulling her hand away from her body and into mine. She began falling apart further. The heart rate monitor continued to race and her sobs grew in volume. Her lips parted and frantic, panicked breathing escaped. She was on the verge of a panic attack and I tried quickly to calm her, when her voice rushed out.
“C-olin, it h-hurts…please…make it s-stop…hurting.”
I looked at the nurse and had to ask her if she could come back later. She nodded and said she was going to send in Dr. Reese. He had just come on shift and was making his rounds. I didn’t wait for the nurse to leave before I had helped Sydney back into her panties. She was crying hysterically and had curled up into a ball. She had wrapped her hands around her arms and began rocking herself back and forth. I was able to get her pajama pants on and pulled up to below her butt before I gave up on getting them pulled up higher. I sat down on the bed and pulled her into my arms.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I love you so much.”
Feeling her quake in my arms, hearing her cries and feeling the ragged breath on my neck was tearing me apart. As tears gathered in my own eyes and spilled over, she uttered a phrase that shook me to the core.
“I c-can’t…take…the pain anymore, S-sir…please…h-help m-me.”
I held her closer and nodded. I released my own ragged breath and rocked her in my arms. My emotions were sealed tightly in my throat and the pain was increasing from holding it in. I didn’t want her to see me cry. I had to be strong for her because it was the only way she was going to get through this. So much was hitting me at that moment and my own tears wouldn’t stop running down my face. Her head was buried in my neck so she couldn’t see the tears and I doubt she felt my body shaking over hers.
Chris and Blake walked in and when they saw us they both stopped in their tracks. I feared they were going to leave, thinking we just needed some private time, but I needed them.
“Blake…”
My voice came out raspy and I quickly wiped my eyes and returned my hand to Sydney’s back. Blake and Chris rushed over and asked how they could help. I explained that we needed a doctor to come in and figure something the fuck out.
“She’s in a lot of pain.”
Chris left to go find the doctor or stop at the nurse’s station to get some help. Blake put his hand on my shoulder and watched me as I let my tears fall again. He squeezed my shoulder and sat down beside me. I felt a little better now that Blake was here.
“Chris will find someone.”
“Why is it fucking taking so long?” I spat out through clenched teeth.
Sydney continued shaking in my arms and suddenly began squirming trying to get off my lap and out of my arms.
“Baby, I have you. Be still and let me hold you.”
She continued pushing and pushing until she looked down and threw up on her pajama top. My fault. She was trying to tell me.
“It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry about it.”
Finally, Dr. Reese came in with Chris just as I was helping Sydney into a clean pajama shirt. He checked some vitals and listened as I gave him some info about this morning.
“Can you help ease the pain for her?” I asked.
&
nbsp; “Yes, we can certainly ease the pain. Sydney, I’m going to give you something that will take the edge off. It won’t make you sleepy.”
Sydney was very opposed to anything that made her sleep or feel groggy. That stems from Howard and I doubt it will ever subside. Dr. Reese was aware of Sydney’s reaction to sleep agents the other night so he knew that Sydney needed reassurance.
Dr. Reese administered the time released pain medicine. Even though the pain medicine didn’t have a sleep agent in it, she soon drifted off to sleep. Her body has been through hell and needs to rest. I sat in the rocking chair, leaning forward and held her hand while she slept.
“Colin, you need to get out of this room for a while,” Blake said as he stretched across me and set a bag of plain M&M’s on the nightstand for Sydney.
I just shook my head at him. I wasn’t leaving her side. Within moments, Matt and Gina had returned and Blake filled him in on what he and Chris walked in on. I tuned them out and noticed that Sydney’s pulse was calm, which meant she was really sleeping. I prayed that she could rest for a number of hours without interruption.
“Col, you should have texted me. Gina and I were just outside.”
“Things were fine, and then they weren’t.” I looked sideways at Matt and Blake before continuing. “She shook and cried in my arms and asked me to make it stop hurting. She said she couldn’t take it anymore.”
I risked a glance back at Chris. I started worrying about the possibility that I’d hear that phrase from her again. What if she starts getting depressed because of the pain and starts turning to pain killers?
“Blake, are you staying for a while?” I heard Matt ask.
Blake confirmed he was staying and then Matt began pulling me out of the chair. I resisted some, but finally stood.
“Come on. We’re taking a walk. Gina, Blake and Chris are here. Sydney won’t be alone.”
“She needs me. I’m not leaving.”
Matt slapped his hands on my upper arms and shook me a little.
“She does need you. You need to vent before you fall apart. Let’s go.”
I made sure everyone in the room had my cell phone number and made them promise to text me when she woke up if I wasn’t back. I quietly followed Matt’s lead down the hall and outside assuming we were heading over to the pavilion where Blake informed us that Anthony had killed Paul. At the end of the stairs leading out of the hospital I started to turn to my right to head down the walking path that led to the pavilion, but Matt wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me to the street. I remained quiet until we got to the crosswalk where a handful of hospital staff in their scrubs waited to cross.