by Drew Sera
Even though Anthony was just as every bit of a strong Dom as I was, and because he was a huge part of this V relationship, I not only had a responsibility to Sydney but to Anthony. He and I were both going to need some vent sessions with Chris. While Sydney was gone, Chris and I talked quite a bit, but I knew that Anthony had bottled so much of that pain up. On top of the pain of losing Sydney, something else also went on with him. Blake and Matt didn’t know exactly what it was either, but they suspected something bad as well. I had my own thoughts and opinion on what probably had occurred and I honestly didn’t know how to talk to him about it. He and I haven’t hashed that out yet, but we will. He was so fucked up over his visit with the Pro Dom and he shoved it all down and pushed it out of sight. Just like he did when he was younger. Push the feelings away and move on. A lot like Sydney before Anthony and I got hold of her. So, he’s pushed down the feelings of Sydney getting abducted, then something quite sinister with the Pro Dom days later. On top of which, he was shot, stabbed and blew the head off her abductor. All of those feelings shoved down on top of everything else in just a few weeks. It’s too much and he’s going to need to talk with Chris.
As close as Anthony and I were and as aware of my surroundings as I have been, I still didn’t hear him get out of bed. I was hovering between being asleep and awake when I heard some noises coming from a short distance away. I flexed my fingers outward to where his body should have been. When I only found a cool, damp sheet in place of his body, my eyes flew open. The antibiotic has made Sydney so tired, which has been a blessing in disguise and helped her sleep. Now that she knows that she’s in a safe environment, I her body is relaxing some and allowing her to sleep.
I sat up and tucked the blankets around Sydney and turned the nightstand light on the dimmest setting. I didn’t want her in the darkened room while I went to find Anthony. I followed the noise to the bathroom and knocked lightly while calling his name.
Pushing the door open more, I saw my best friend sitting on the floor in his boxer briefs. He had shed the shirt he went to bed wearing and was leaning against the side of the tub. His legs were bent and pulled up close to his body. He had a washcloth on his chest above the bandage that covered the gunshot wound and two on his knees. Peeking out from the bend of the backs of his knees, he gripped his t-shirt with white backed knuckles. He looked up at me and I could see his chest rise and fall rapidly.
“Anth, what’s wrong?” I crouched down in front of him and looked him over. He wasn’t saying anything, just shaking. “Anth?” I tried to get him to talk but wasn’t having any luck.
“I’m so hot, Col...I can’t cool down,” he muttered weakly at me. “My skin feels like it’s on fire.”
I took another look at the washcloths and realized he had placed them on himself to try to cool down. The shirt I pulled from his hands was damp, as was his hair. Clearly, he was sick.
I went to the cabinet, grabbed the thermometer and placed it under his tongue. He leaned his head back to rest on the ledge of the tub. Moments later the thermometer beeped and I pulled it out of his mouth. I blinked at the three numbers in disbelief. 104.
“Don’t move,” I told him and went into the bedroom, grabbed the phone and went back to the bathroom. “I’m calling Matt.” I sat down on the floor next to him and wrapped my arm around him. I took the cool washcloth from his chest and held it against the back of his neck while I dialed Matt. Anthony began squirming out from under my hand that was holding the washcloth against his neck. I stared at him with this move. He’s been avoiding physical contact with everyone except Sydney and I, but I was worried with the way he squirmed out from under my hand. I hoped I wasn’t on my way to the list of people who can’t touch him.
“So hot...it hurts,” he mumbled.
“What hurts, Anth?” I asked him just as Matt answered sleepily.
“Hello?” Matt said in my ear while Anthony mumbled in the background.
“Matt, Anthony is sick. He’s got a fever of 104. What do I do or give him?” I quickly asked.
“Okay, is he coherent?”
“What? I don’t know, I guess. He’s mumbling that he’s hot and hurts.” I paused and looked down at Anthony wishing Matt would hurry up and tell me how to help.
“Give him the Motrin prescription and have him sip on the Gatorade I put in your fridge. Is he complaining of aching or hurting anywhere specific?”
“No, just mumbling that he hurts in general.”
I told Matt that Anthony looked weak, dead tired and had been sick to his stomach and aches all over. Matt said to get the Motrin in him and put some cool washcloths on him.
“Take his temperature in thirty minutes and call me if it gets worse. His body is fighting.”
I hung the phone up and ran downstairs to get the Motrin and bottle of the Gatorade. After he took the Motrin he wanted to take a cold shower. I tried to keep him still though and discouraged the shower. I didn’t think he’d be able to stand up let alone stand in a slick shower.
I wondered if he had been discharged too early. As much as I wanted him home, I wanted him healthy and to recover. I wanted him and Sydney to get better, and they needed to be near one another to accomplish that. Tonight was only day one that all three of us having been together in a long time in our home. It isn’t practical for me to think that it’s all magically going to go back to being the way it way before all hell broke loose.
I helped him stand and guided him to our sitting area and got him to sit down. He sat in the chair but leaned over his knees. His stomach has really been bothering him. Honestly, I think it’s been bothering him long before he was shot and had to do with Sydney being gone. I was hoping the stomach pains would subside now that Sydney was back but so far, they hadn’t. Maybe it’s the medicine.
I opened my mouth to start to say something but he bolted into the bathroom sick to his stomach. I went into the bathroom and I leaned against the counter. I wanted to give him some space but also for him to know he wasn’t alone and I was there for him. It’s a fine line and I’m trying not to fuck it up.
His stomach seemed to settle down some and he sat back on his heels trying to catch his breath. I handed him a cool washcloth as I heard Sydney’s muffled voice. Anthony and I both made eye contact and he struggled to try and stand up.
“Go, Col. I’m fine,” he urged.
I doubted he was fine, but I headed into our bedroom. I slid onto our bed and gently nudged Sydney until she woke up from her nightmare. She threw her arms around me when she realized she was safe.
“It’s okay, baby. You’re safe and sound.” I wrapped my arms tightly around her and felt her body begin to calm in my arms. I carried her over to the chair and wrapped a blanket around us.
I heard the faucet in the bathroom and some other noises that indicated Anthony was moving around in there. He appeared in the doorway and came over to where we sat. Anthony sat in the other chair and reached across to rub on Sydney’s back. I could feel Sydney’s hand opening and closing against my chest and knew she ached to be in Anthony’s arms. I stood up with Sydney and set her down on Anthony’s lap and smiled as I watched Sydney nestle against Anthony. They both needed it. As I draped the throw over her, I worried if it would make Anthony feel warmer.
I pulled the ottoman over and sat in front of Sydney and Anthony. I rubbed gently on her back and brushed her hair back while her hands clung to Anthony’s arms.
“Baby, what was your dream about? Tell Anthony and I.” I tried to encourage her. Chris told me not to be afraid to push a little bit. I was trying to find that healthy line of pushing and being supportive.
“The dark room.” She curled up closer to Anthony and I urged her to continue with whatever she could remember. “He kept me in there most of the time. I thought I was going to go crazy. He…” Sydney stopped talking and looked over at me, unsure if she should continue.
“He didn’t like you very much, Colin,” she said gently. Maybe she was afraid it’d hurt my f
eelings or it was some information that I had no clue about.
I couldn’t help but smile and looked up at Anthony. He and I were both trying to stifle a laugh, but I broke and laughed out loud when Anthony started to break. Sydney smiled and leaned further into Anthony.
“Yeah, I think I’d agree with that, Sydney. And you know what? I couldn’t give a fuck about him.” I confirmed while trying to keep my hate for Paul under control. Sydney didn’t need to see me lash out about how much I detested Paul. He abducted her, tormented her and my family, and nearly killed Anthony. The level of hate that I held just for Paul was almost frightening.
“Col.” Anthony quietly said my name to bring me back to the present.
I realized that it would be good for me to talk and vent with Chris about this. The anger that I held inside needed to be addressed. I knew it wasn’t healthy and need to get it out of my system. Chris was coming over tomorrow for a while. Chris and I decided it would be good for him to visit us at home for a while before we ventured to his office.
While Anthony and Sydney settled back in bed, I grabbed the thermometer and stuck it under his tongue.
“Are you cooling down some?”
He nodded while we waited for the verdict from the thermometer. It was going down and was now 102. That’s not great, but it was lower. I sent Matt a text letting him know so that he wouldn’t worry. Once I got in bed I spooned behind Sydney and told her how much I love her.
Chapter 17
Monday, February 3rd
Colin
Sydney sat with her journal on the couch while I made some phone calls to work and worked on my laptop. Occasionally I’d look up from my laptop or phone call and Sydney would be staring blankly at nothing. I felt it was a positive sign though if she recognized that she needed or wanted to write. I thought that maybe there’d be a good chance that she could begin writing about her experiences before she spoke about them.
Mitch was going to stop by the house around noon for some signatures from Anthony and I on a few documents regarding the Cheng deal. It was nearing completion and delivery was being tentatively scheduled for late March. When I knew Mitch was on his way over, I put my laptop away and held Sydney close to me.
“Baby, Mitch is on his way over for some signatures on some documents. He won’t be here long and will be gone before Chris gets here.”
“Okay.”
It killed me to remind her that Mitch doesn’t know that the three of us are in a relationship. I wanted to remind her so she’d refrain from getting physically close with Anthony. She nodded and said she hadn’t forgotten. Guilt plagued me as I went to open the front door to Mitch. Mitch stood there in his suit and the expression on his face was a sympathetic one. Mitch had visited us in the hospital a few times and was very supportive.
“Hey, come in.”
Mitch walked inside and hugged me quickly and slapped his hands on my back. “Thanks. I won’t be long. How are things going? You doing alright? You’ve lost weight, Colin.” Mitch said as he followed me into the great room.
I nodded and told him it was the stress but that things were starting to get back on track. When we walked into the great room, Sydney smiled and stood up. I hoped she didn’t think that I expected her to play hostess or something.
“Hi, may I get you something to drink?” She asked Mitch.
I told her not to worry about it and that I’d get it. Mitch shook us both off and said he was fine and wasn’t staying long. He and I sat down and I read over the documents while he chatted with Sydney. I was having a hard time concentrating on the document as I was trying to pay attention to Sydney.
“Everyone sent me with this.” Mitch reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a yellow envelope and held his hand out towards Sydney. I looked up at her while she took the envelope slowly from Mitch. She held it in her hands and looked at the front of it.
“Open it, baby,” I encouraged her gently. My voice seemed to bring her out of her trance and she blinked a few times and then proceeded to open the envelope.
From the bright colored envelope, Sydney pulled a greeting card. She read the front and her lips flattened into a line and her jaw was tight. I could see her lips losing the emotional battle though and were quivering. She opened the card and the front was visible to me and read ‘with sincerest wishes’.
As she was reading, she broke down but tried to recover quickly. It was too much emotion for her to push away. I sat beside her and pulled her against me while she sobbed and sobbed. With her head against my chest, I gave Mitch a small smile. He looked sorry for giving her a card that made her fall apart. I needed to try to explain so he wouldn’t feel so bad, but I’m sure he understood.
“It’s been a lot of feelings to deal with.”
“I can’t begin to imagine or have a clue as to how either of you are feeling. Sydney, you’ve got a great man to help you.”
Sydney nodded and apologized for crying but Mitch and I both told her to not worry about it. She has so much she needs to get out. Sydney pulled out of my arms and continued to read her card and I quickly went back to reading the documents and then put my signatures on the first lines that were designated for me. Mitch’s signatures were already on the third lines leaving the second lines the only blank lines; Anthony’s lines.
Mitch gathered up the documents and stood. “Is our CFO here?”
“Yeah, he’s...right there.” I was ready to tell Mitch that Anthony was on the patio and when I looked up, Anthony was standing between the kitchen and great room. He looked like he was in pain. Then it hit me; he had heard Sydney crying and came to check on her but only made it as far as he did because he knew he couldn’t get too close to her.
“Hey, Anthony. How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better.”
“I bet. Well, for what it’s worth, I’ll tell James you still look fashionable even though you’re still recovering,” Mitch joked.
Anthony laughed and took the papers from Mitch and they went into the kitchen. I could hear them talking but couldn’t really concentrate on them. I went back to holding Sydney and reading the card over her shoulder. Everyone in the office, and I mean everyone, signed their name on the card and some even wrote small notes.
After Mitch left, Anthony sat next to Sydney and pulled her to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and held the card open to read. He frowned and made a noise indicating he was surprised or looking for something. Then he turned the card over to look at the back and made the noise again.
“What?” I asked him.
He leaned closer to Sydney and kissed her earlobe. “I didn’t get a ‘sincerest wishes’ card. I was looking to see if they wrote my name on it too.” He lightly joked and once again, it was as though he created fire, and Sydney laughed.
Anthony and I quickly looked at each other and smiled as well. Our girl was still in there. We hadn’t lost her and Anthony can still make her laugh and smile through her tears.
Chris came over and we all had settled in the great room to talk. Sydney sat between Anthony and I, and Chris started out with some general health questions regarding Sydney and Anthony. He encouraged Sydney to be very open and honest regarding how she was physically feeling.
“So, how are the nights going?” Chris asked it as a general question but he looked right at me.
“Sydney has been waking up almost every night with nightmares.”
Chris asked Sydney if she felt comfortable to begin talking about her time with Paul. She nodded and Chris reminded her that they’d stop anytime she wanted to.
“I know you’ve had what seems like an eternity’s worth of time to think and re-think everything. I’m sure there are some things that keep making an appearance in your mind, over and over. What is one of those things or thoughts?”
She pulled her hands together and looked down. I began rubbing on her back and told her to take her time. She pulled her hands apart and set them flat on her knees. I was encouraged
by that move. She still remembered what Anthony and I had worked on with her regarding her nervous hitch of pulling at her fingers.
“I keep thinking about how he told me that he had Anthony, too. That if I didn’t do as he asked without issues that he’d hurt Anthony. I always tried to behave because I didn’t want him to hurt Anthony.”
“Sydney, Paul was just trying to scare you. He knew you’d do anything for Anthony and Colin, so he used that as power.”
Sydney was frowning and looked down and then between Anthony and I. She had tears in her eyes and quickly wiped them away as we talked about this for a while. Chris set his notebook and pen down on the coffee table and leaned forward.
“Sydney, Paul didn’t have Anthony,” Chris calmly, but firmly said to her.
“I didn’t want Paul to hurt him, but at the same time, I didn’t want to be alone. Is that a terrible thing for me to say?”
More tears continued to fall and she leaned her head against my shoulder and Anthony took hold of her hand while we worked through her feelings of feeling guilty for not wanting to be alone with Paul.
Chris looked at me and then at Anthony before resting his gaze on Sydney. It made me a little nervous. I thought maybe he was deciding if he should proceed.
“Sydney, are you ready to talk about the other girl?” Chris was calm and his tone was gentle.
I wasn’t at all expecting this topic to be touched on yet and because I was somewhat caught off guard with it being brought up, I wasn’t prepared for Sydney’s reaction.
“No! Please, no.” Sydney begged and yanked her hands away from mine and Anthony’s grip.
I think she would have tried leaving the great room had Anthony not reacted when he did. When Sydney stood up, Anthony did too and he wrapped his arms around her protectively. Tears spilled from her eyes and she began mumbling that she didn’t want to talk about that today. Anthony held her head against his chest and swayed with her in his embrace.