How to Marry an Alien

by Magan Vernon

  "What if Alex just stays here?" Ace asked. "She is already doing one online class; I'm sure she could do more."

  I stood up, trying to catch the eyes of everyone in the room. "Can we stop talking about me like I'm not here?"

  I walked over to the television and stood next to Nerses. "I'm not going to quit going to school, and there is no reason to give me some sort of an entourage to follow me around. I knew the moment I started dating Ace that there would be problems, and we've managed to survive them the past year. There is no reason to stop what we have been doing. It's worked so far, albeit a few mishaps."

  Dad shook his head, standing up and putting his hands out for another Italian, man-style sign language charade. "But what if this time you can't protect yourself? I would be sick knowing that you are out there without protection."

  I didn't know what to say. I knew that there was a chance I could just end up getting both me and Ace killed. Obviously, the car accident almost did that to us. How was I supposed to protect us both?

  Ace stood, walking over and making a small circle. "I can make a call to some people on Calta and see what we can do for some extra surveillance. I know the queen wasn't willing to help us, but maybe if I talk to some people, they will reconsider."

  "And do you think they will follow through?" dad asked.

  Ace's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying that I don't want to protect Alex as much as you do? What kind of alien do you think I am?"

  Dad raised his hands, palms out, to Ace. "Whoa, I'm just saying that I want to make sure they have as much interest in protecting her and will actually do it."

  Ace rolled his eyes. "Of course they will protect her. The queen has the treaty, Simone has been incarcerated, and for Andromeda's sake she is the future princess of Calta!"

  Nerses cleared her throat. "You have half of those right."

  I snapped my head in the direction of Nerses. "Which half?"

  Nerses swallowed hard. It was the first time I'd ever seen her look so uncomfortable, shuffling in her flats. "Simone has—what would you call it on Earth?—diplomatic immunity, so we could only hold her for so long before we let her go back to Calta."

  "WHAT?" Ace and I practically said in unison.

  Simone was out? She could be the one after me and no one informed me of this.

  "This is true." Dad sighed. "We had to let her go, but we gave her over to the Caltian authorities, and they assured us that she would be in a similar situation there. We don't believe that she is a threat at this time."

  "Ugh!" I sat down on the couch and threw my head in my hands. I wanted to break down right there on the stiff, white sofa. Why was all of this happening to me? I tried being normal and obviously that didn't work, so I would be stuck forever with a giant ball of intergalactic issues.

  I felt pressure next to me on the side of the couch, and soon, Ace's cold arm was around me. "Princess, I promise you that we will get through this."

  I looked up to see Ace's dark eyes staring back at me. Hopefully he was right. We had gotten through many alien attacks together, and I just hoped this wouldn't be our last.

  Chapter 31

  Life went back to normal. Well as normal as my life ever could be. Ace and Circe called in some extra recruits, and all of a sudden there were a lot of new students taking summer school. I hadn't been back to Circe in awhile, but I enjoyed having Ace stay over whenever he could. Being close to another Caltian helped to prevent Caltian women from trying to sleep creep.

  With Ace spending the night more, Lucy took that as a chance to stay at Riley's. Riley had a small apartment off campus. Her roommate was really into online gaming and rarely came out of her room, so it was kind of like Riley had her own place anyway. But they still spent enough time in our dorm room when Lucy had homework or they just wanted to hang out. It was nice having Ace around and still getting to enjoy time with my roommate.

  If only I could enjoy a Saturday morning without having my mom call for a video chat.

  "What is that noise?" Ace grumbled, pulling the pillow over his head.

  "Ugh!" I groaned, shifting to the noise of my phone. "That's my video chat ring. Can you just stay hidden and quiet for like two minutes? Mom will keep calling until I talk to her, so it's best to just get it over with."

  "No problem. I can just go back to sleep…maybe."

  I grabbed my phone, slid out of bed and ran over to sit at my desk. At the right angle, mom wouldn't be able to see Ace curled up in my bed. I slid open the phone and there was my mom's face staring back at me. Albeit, she was a little too close to the screen and I could see every nose hair.

  "Good morning! How is my favorite co-ed?"

  "You do realize that we have a two-hour time difference, right?"

  Mom looked over at the clock and then covered her mouth with her freshly manicured hands. "Oh, I’m sorry, Alex! I completely forgot! Do you want me to let you go back to sleep?"

  I held the phone back. She tended to yell when she was on video chat. "No, it's cool. I'm up now. What's going on?"

  "Okay, well, I can make this quick!" She removed her hands from her mouth, and then the camera moved in circles. I saw her shuffling through some papers on the table. "I know your wedding won't be for at least a few years, but I just got some information from this wedding planner who is looking to maybe have me ghost write her memoir."

  "Uh, huh." I yawned and hoped she would stop moving the phone so much. I didn't need to get motion sickness as well.

  It looked like she set the phone down on the table and then all I could see were her hands and a bunch of brochures for hotels, banquet facilities, and caterers.

  "You said it was just some information. That looks like a whole slew of stuff," I said staring at all the information she held in her hands.

  "You can never start planning too early, especially if you want to book some of these places. Did you know you have to book for a cake through Bella Luna bakery at least two years out?" she said, shuffling the papers in her hands.

  "I guess it couldn't hurt to start looking at some things. Lucy and I did find a couple of dresses we thought would look good in the magazines you sent…"

  Mom squealed. "Oh, I can't wait to go dress shopping!"

  The first and last time I went dress shopping with my mom was for Fall Ball and that didn't end too well, so Ace and I skipped prom all together. There wasn't another ex-girlfriend around trying to kill me, but every time I even went by the dress rack at a department store I got a creepy, ghostlike chill up my spine.

  "Yeah, maybe we can look when you all come and visit this fall." I actually smiled. My mom might have been eccentric, but she did love me, and I couldn't deny that I had been thinking a little bit more about my wedding even with all the other alien stuff going on. Maybe dress shopping wouldn't be in the picture, but I couldn't pass up some cake tasting.

  "I'll get Brian right away, and we can start planning our trip! I will call you later when I have more info!" she said.

  "Okay, Mom, talk to you later," I said, and she disconnected the call.

  I closed my phone and turned to see Ace sitting up in bed.

  "Good to see that you're awake now." I slid out of my desk chair and crawled up the bed until we were nose to nose. "Do you want breakfast or maybe something else?"

  I trailed my fingers up his bare arms. If I pumped the air conditioner up to full blast he didn't need his temperature control suit, and I liked having him in bed in nothing but his boxers.

  Ace shook his head. "Alex, we need to talk about something."

  I sat straight up, covering my mouth with my hands. "Oh God! You aren't breaking up with me are you? Because that sounds like a line that guys use when they are breaking up with someone."

  Ace pulled my hands from my mouth and held them in his. "I'm not breaking up with you. This is serious."

  His eyes were steal and held my gaze in a way that told me he meant business.

  "Okay, then what is it?"

  "It's a
bout the wedding," he said.

  "What about it? Are you mad that my mom and I were talking about wedding details? She's just excited. If you want I can talk to your mom or someone else about Caltian wedding details and we can totally incorporate those." As long as they weren't too weird. I didn't want to tell Ace, but the whole alien wedding ritual idea scared the bejeezus out of me. After hearing that alien probing was real, I could only imagine what they did for weddings.

  "Well…the thing about a Caltian wedding…"

  "Yes?"

  Ace looked down at the blankets, and then back up at me, rubbing his palm on the back of his neck. "We kind of already are married in the Caltian sense."

  "What? I don't understand. How could we have done that?"

  Ace swallowed. "When Caltians get married, as you call it, or take on a mate as we do, there is a ceremony but all that is involved in the ceremony is procreation."

  I widened my eyes. "A public ceremony to have sex?"

  Ace let out a small laugh. "Well, there is more to it than that. There is an altar and white gowns, but basically, yes, sex is all one really needs to do to be married in the Caltian world."

  Well that explained why he wanted to wait so long.

  "But wait, so you are saying that we are already married?" I asked.

  Ace nodded slowly. "It's kind of like we just eloped, which is why we need to keep it secret. This royal wedding is a huge deal to all of the others in the universe. Could you imagine if one of your earthly royal wedding couples decided to just elope when everyone was making a big hoopla of the royal wedding?"

  I gasped. "Oh God! What's going to happen to us?"

  Everything started to click in my head. The way Ace acted differently ever since we consummated the relationship. How he almost attacked the waiter at La Noria for talking to me and called me his princess. I just thought his over protectiveness was normal, but now I understood that it took on a deeper meaning with me as his wife.

  "As long as we keep it quiet from the alien world, we should be fine. This means you can't even tell Jen since she has such close ties at Circe."

  The only person I'd told was Lucy and I was sure she hadn't told anyone. I thought that I should maybe not let Ace in on that little detail that I did tell someone.

  "So until I graduate, I'm supposed to pretend like we've never had sex?" I asked. "No one is going to believe that."

  Ace sighed. "We can try it. At least put on a front like we have been. And there are plenty of other things that one can do that doesn't involve sex. Just because we've consummated the relationship, doesn't mean its over."

  I sat up straighter, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Does this mean that we won't be able to ever do it again? Would it just be like we were getting married over and over?"

  Ace smiled. "As much as I would marry you repeatedly. It only takes once for the marriage to happen, after that it's for fun."

  "So we're okay, then? No one is going to come after us?"

  "I hope not," Ace said. "We still do have to worry about whoever may be trying to hurt us. But at least we know that, since you are now officially my princess, we do have that protection. They can't un-mate us."

  At least that part was comforting. After all the people that had tried to break us up over the last year, I knew it wasn't possible now, that Ace and I were actually married. And now I knew how to marry an alien.

  Chapter 32

  Lucy texted me not long after Ace and I woke up for the second time and asked us to meet her and Riley for lunch downtown. Since the last time we ate with them turned out pretty well, Ace agreed.

  We were going to meet at a little café near campus, so Ace and I strolled, hand in hand, down the street. I literally felt like I was glowing. I actually felt like I was a princess now that I knew we were married. I wanted to bust out a royal wave and maybe even carry a scepter. It was silly, but every little girl pretended to be royalty at one point in her life and now I actually was.

  Before we even got near the café I spotted Lucy and Riley skipping down the street with their arms looped through each other's.

  "Alex!" Lucy yelled. "Come on, we have to show you something."

  As soon as they got to us, Lucy and Riley peeled me away from Ace and put me in the middle of their skipping loop. I heard Ace's boots clomping behind us and couldn't imagine where they were taking me.

  "We found this place on our way to lunch and we totally have to stop!" Riley squealed.

  "Found what?" I asked.

  "Some place that we need to go, and Ace can go on to the café without us," Lucy said with equal enthusiasm.

  "I'm not leaving. I'll just find a chair wherever you ladies decide to go," Ace murmured behind us.

  "Men." Riley rolled her eyes. "That's why I don't date them."

  They stopped their skipping, and we turned in the direction of the store front. My mouth literally dropped open. Three mannequins stood in a giant window, each of them in a long, white gown. It was a bridal shop.

  "Aren't you excited?" Lucy asked. "It was Riley's idea. We know that you still have a few years and will probably want to wait for your mom, but we thought it would be fun to try on some bridesmaid dresses and see what you look like in all white."

  Riley turned to Ace. "And that is why you have to wait outside, sir!"

  Ace held up his hands. "Whoa, if I'm going to be paying for the dress I think I should at least get a sneak peek."

  Riley rolled her eyes and looked back at us. "Fine."

  I looked back at Ace's big doe eyes while I was dragged into the shop. After our conversation that morning, I was less than excited to look at wedding dresses, and I knew that he was forced to go with us since leaving me alone without alien protection was not an option. Now I just had to make sure Lucy didn't say anything about a white wedding.

  A short, stout woman wearing a black skirt suit greeted us as soon as we walked into the shop. There were mounds of white dresses on black mannequins stacked up in every nook and cranny. The floors were blue carpet with sparkles in them, so they shined like diamonds, and a row of big, white doors flanked the far wall opposite a standing row of mirrors with a small platform right in the center.

  "Welcome to Olga's Bridal Boutique. I am Svyeta, how can I help you today?" the woman said in a heavy Russian accent.

  Lucy pushed me forward. "Our friend, Alex, here is getting married to this cool drink of water behind us and she needs to try on some dresses."

  "And we want to try on bridesmaid dresses!" Riley yelled beside me.

  Svyeta nodded. "Okay, we see what we can do. Come, Alex, I measure you."

  Her gruff hands took me around the wrist and pulled me to the platform. She nudged me on top of it and removed a spool of measuring tape from her jacket pocket and looped it around my waist, legs, and bust. I was not meant to be a model or to be measured. I squirmed with every touch of her bearlike hands, and she had to keep re-measuring.

  "Okay, looks like you are a size twelve. You tell me what style you want and I pull some, then you try on," Svyeta said.

  Twelve? I was a size ten in pants! How did that work? I didn't want to ask and I didn't exactly like her blurting out my size in front of my hot alien husband, but he seemed unfazed. He didn't even look up from where he sat on a couch that was opposite the podium. He just stared down at his phone, clicking away at a few keys. He found some new app that he was obsessed with and kept playing games with Monte whenever I'd give him a spare moment.

  "I think she needs something strapless to show off her giant rack!" Lucy yelled from where she thumbed through the bridesmaid dresses near the dressing room.

  "And lace!" Riley added.

  I could feel the heat creeping up my cheeks. Ace looked at me with a huge grin on his face. "That sounds good to me."

  I nodded and could barely speak. "Okay, that sounds good," I squeaked.

  Svyeta didn't say anything, just disappeared behind the counter, and then came back a few minutes later with her arm
s full of dresses. She opened one of the white doors, hung up the dresses, and ushered me in, closing the door behind me.

  "We're going to try on some dresses in the rooms next to you. Come out when you have the first one on!" Lucy called.

  "Great, just what I want to do today," I muttered.

  I slipped out of my shorts and tank top, sliding the silk fabric over my thunder thighs. Suddenly the idea of having the church wedding and planning the ceremony wasn't as much fun as it had been a few hours ago. Now that I knew I was already married to Ace, I didn't feel the need for a big hoopla.

  I tossed my bra aside and pulled the lace and organza up over my chest. I reached back and zippered up the dress as far as I could get it and then stepped out. "READY!"

  Riley and Lucy threw open their doors, their mouths flung open as they oohed and ahhed.

  I felt like I probably looked like a big, white whale while they both looked gorgeous in their short, royal blue bridesmaid dresses.

  "That looks awesome on you! Come look!" Lucy said, and then pulled me over to the podium, forcing me to stare at myself in the three-way mirror.

  I gasped when I saw myself. The last time I wore a dress or anything white was homecoming, and I had forgotten what white did for an olive girl. The dress really was perfect. I didn't look like a beached whale, the mermaid cut actually enhanced my curves instead of making me look like a giant fish. The neckline was a sweetheart cut and right beneath the bust line was a row of tiny pearls. The whole dress had a lace overlay, and I couldn't help but let the soft material glide through my fingertips.

  I always had a passion for old movies and vintage, so having a vintage alien husband was just the icing on the cake. As I stared at myself, I thought about all my favorite vintage wedding movies and how I always imagined Dustin Hoffman rescuing me from a marriage just like he did in The Graduate. Now I didn't want to be rescued. I really did have it all.