by Shouji Gatou
Well, it’s not as if she and I are in love or anything, he told himself guiltily. She did kiss me because of that ‘revelation’ of hers, and to be honest, out of all the women in my life so far, she’s probably the woman I’ve been most attracted to. Of course, she’s forgotten all of that, but that doesn’t mean my attraction to her is canceled out... It was a complicated relationship.
Problem three: What if I’m just imagining it?
I don’t think I am, but what if some fatal lapse in judgment has led me to a mistaken hypothesis? he mused. What if I have a slip of the tongue that makes it sound like I’m interested, and Isuzu says, “You seem to be under a misapprehension” or “Sorry, I find you very unattractive”? I could never recover. My pride would be eternally shattered. He would have to throw himself off Maple Castle and die—and he didn’t want to die.
“Hmm...”
The road was downhill from here. A truck passed beside him, stirring up a cold wind.
Ahead was a four-way intersection. As the light turned yellow, he put on the brakes and stopped. A moment later, an enormous tanker truck tore across his vision, rumbling the ground below. It was going quite fast. If he hadn’t stopped at the yellow light, something terrible could have happened to him.
Is this a sign of some kind? Seiya wondered, gripping the brake lever tightly.
Okay, he decided. It was a yellow light. Yellow. Yellow meant caution.
Just pretend you didn’t notice what went down today, he told himself. I’m just a boorish, oblivious male. I don’t know what that weird nut did. I won’t think any deeper about what Isuzu said. That should hold things off for a while.
Having made up his mind, he felt a lot better. Normally he’d want to talk to someone and put his mind at ease, but he didn’t have anyone he could confide in about this: Kanie Seiya was an isolated man.
Just then, he felt the smartphone tucked deep in his back pocket vibrate. He’d just received an email. “......!”
It was probably spam, but regardless, he took out his phone and checked it. It was from Sento Isuzu. Seiya gasped, though not quite in panic— it was more like tension.
He opened the email. “......Yeah, figures.” As he’d assumed, it was just about work: the interview schedules for tomorrow, and so on; her plans for dealing with Chujo Shiina, whom he’d turned away earlier; supplemental information about Adachi Eiko and Bando Biino. She explained it all in plain and unembellished terms.
《Understood. Talk to you later》 he typed back briefly.
The light turned green. He was racing down a two-lane one-way street when his phone vibrated again. He stopped his bike and checked his email: it was from Isuzu.
《Thank you for everything. I’m sorry about today.》 A brief message. How was he supposed to interpret it? Seiya spent the rest of the night thinking it over, but he couldn’t reach a conclusion.
“Your Highness, royal guard Yisuzurch Sentolucia presents herself for audience.” Maple Castle, at the center of the park: Isuzu was kneeling on the flagstones of the rooftop garden.
“Thank you for coming, as always, Isuzu-san.” Latifah, who had been talking to a bird perched on a longstalk holly branch, stopped, and smiled beatifically.
As its name implied, the rooftop garden was built on the castle’s top floor. Beneath the beautiful stars, the trees grew lush and the flowers bloomed, kissed by the gentle night wind.
The slender girl stood in one corner of the garden. She had pale skin that seemed translucent, sparkling golden hair, and a long dress that drifted like a willow reed in the wind.
“Do join me,” Latifah—the slender girl—said. “I have made tea.”
“Ahh...” Sento Isuzu, AKA Yisuzurch Sentolucia, had a complicated relationship with Princess Latifah: Latifah Fleuranza was the princess of the magical kingdom known as Maple Land. Of course, she had sworn her loyalty to her, and she served her with great reverence; that wasn’t the source of the problem.
The problem was that Latifah had remained fourteen years old for over a decade.
At three or four years old, Isuzu had had her first audience with Latifah in the royal gardens. Latifah was fourteen, then, and like a beautiful older woman. She had crouched before the little Isuzu and said, “It is a great pleasure to meet you, Yisuzurch-san.”
Their next meeting was much, much later. Isuzu was sixteen, now, and the taller of the two. This time, the princess looked up at her and said, once again: “It is a great pleasure to meet you, Yisuzurch-san.” This time her tone was reverent, as if she were the one meeting an amazing older woman...
Of course, this did not shake Isuzu’s loyalty in any way. It just unsettled her, the way she could not tell if she should revere her, or dote on her. If they ever had a chance to speak more intimately, should she talk to her like she was older, or like she was younger? Isuzu didn’t know.
Then, today, a new problem had arisen.
Your Highness... Isuzu thought. I fear I must ask you a question. That mortal, so arrogant, yet possessing such mysterious power—How do you feel about him? How do you feel about Kanie Seiya?
On park property: the first employee dorm, Winchester Estate
In Macaron’s room, where they had been planning their viewing party of Adachi Eiko’s work, the atmosphere was that of a wake. When Tiramii had gleefully presented the AV he had procured, the picture on the packaging hadn’t looked like Adachi Eiko at all. PR manager Tricen had informed them earlier that she was an adult actress named Anjo Erina. But “Anjo Erina” was an older woman of considerable girth who didn’t resemble Adachi Eiko at all.
“There must... there must be some kind of mistake, ron.” Macaron said, looking crushed. He’d spent the night up until then with a can of beer in one hand, his white wool fluffed up in expectation.
“Mii... I looked all around rental shops and stores, but this was the only video this actress put out, mii...” Tiramii replied exhaustedly. His button eyes were hollow, lacking their usual luster.
“Ah, for the love of... so Tricen’s info was off, fumo...” Moffle whispered. He poured himself another glass of hot water and shochu, upended it and groaned.
“But... how do you confuse the girl in the resume photo with a woman who looks like an open-weight Olympic medalist?! Is he blind, ron?!”
“Well, you see... we talked on the phone earlier, and it seems the image I sent him got a little stretched, fumo. His cell phone is old, and uses these strange algorithms...”
“Then send him a proper picture! Tell Tricen to—”
“I did, fumo. He said he gave up. Just couldn’t find her, fumo.”
“Ron dammit! How can this be?!” Macaron slammed his beer can onto the table.
“You didn’t even meet her in person,” Moffle scoffed. “What are you so riled up about?”
“Because you meeting her today got me all worked up, ron! She’s a denizen of a distant world we’ll never be part of! Knowing that she visited our workplace heightens the reality, the believability! Surely you understand the delicacy of such matters, ron?!”
“Hm, I suppose...”
“And now... and now... now I’m just stuck with blue balls, ron! You and Tricen are both so stupid, ron!”
“Hmm,” Moffle mused dangerously. “I’m not sure that I care for your tone. You can call Tricen what you want, but if you call me stupid...”
As the air began to crackle between the two of them, Tiramii interrupted, trying to settle them down. “Don’t fight, you two! Let’s just watch it, mii! It might’ve been 480 yen outta the bargain bin, but it’s still worth something, right?”
“It’s worth nothing, ron! Nothing, ron!”
“Moffu. Heavyset MILF is a bridge too far for me...”
Responding to their criticisms, Tiramii just tilted his head in confusion. “Aw, really? I could go for her...”
“You...” The other two were struck by the limitless range of Tiramii’s libido.
In the end, they didn’t watch the video he h
ad bought. Instead, they dug into Macaron’s DVD catalog and watched Black Hawk Down.
Their despondence pervaded through the first thirty minutes. But, soon enough, they were enjoying themselves with booze in hand: The American army’s operation in Somalia. The unexpected trouble. The thrilling shootout. Macaron had a 6.1ch sound system installed in his room, which heightened the immersion.
“Hmm, this movie really is good, ron. It’s a breakthrough in the zombie genre, ron.”
“What? But it’s a war movie, fumo.”
“No, it’s a zombie movie. That’s what the writer Sato Daisuke said, ron—The Somalian militiamen keep popping up, they mow them down, but it never stops, ron.”
“Oh! It really is like a zombie movie, mii.”
“I always cry when Gordon and Shughart die, ron. Oh, also! This movie brought M14s back into style. That was always a good gun, you know? But young people don’t like wooden stocks, so it picked up an old-fashioned image. But they feature M14s with polymer frames and Picatinny rails, and the lifelike impact—”
And so they talked and enjoyed themselves. Riled up by the battle scenes, crying over the death scenes, talking fervently about the detailed portrayal of the weapons—Thanks to that, they all forgot about the unfortunate AV.
On park property: the second employee dorm, BT Estate
That night, Sento Isuzu sent a careful email directly to Adachi Eiko:
《I am the acting manager’s secretary. For reference, could you tell me your stage name and a list of prior roles from your previous employer? We must take into account the potential for complaints from your former agency in our hiring decision. Of course, we won’t share that information with anyone.》
She meant it when she said she wouldn’t share it, but everything else was mainly pretext. She just couldn’t stop wondering about it, and given what had happened with Seiya that day, she doubted she would get much sleep. So, Isuzu had steeled her resolve and inquired.
The reply came at once. It included Eiko’s stage name, a number of her works, and a thank you for her interview earlier.
《Thank you very much. We’ll let you know if you got the job soon,》 she replied, then decided to search for one of the titles at once.
The title was “Nipple Buddies Assemble! Sucking All Night!”
Wait. What?
Nipple Buddies? Sucking All Night? The depravity. It’s madness! The entire world has gone mad! Isuzu felt a chill run up her spine as she tried to imagine what kind of mortal could have come up with that title.
The thought of typing it into her keyboard directly made her cringe so, instead, she resorted to copy-paste. Immediately, search results came up. Not only were there DVDs, but a few videos available for immediate download as well. There were even some uploaded to YouTube.
“......?” Wait a minute. YouTube? That site didn’t allow adult content, did it? Either way, she had to see what was in them—with a trembling finger, she clicked.
The image was that of a farm somewhere. A country music-style BGM (likely public domain) was playing.
A lamb was nursing on a mother sheep. Trembling, it sucked and sucked as hard as it could.
“Oh, look! A baby lamb! Look at how hard it’s sucking there! Look at you! You’re sucking Mommy’s nipple, huh?” The narrator sounded familiar. It was Adachi Eiko.
“Sheep babies are just like human ones,” she continued to narrate. “They usually only give birth to one baby at a time. This little boy is very precious to his mother. He’ll grow up quick and be so full of energy! He might even be able to eat grass soon! Baby lambs just love mama’s ‘milk bar!’ Drink a lot and get big and strong, okay?” The narration ended, but the video continued to switch between various scenes of nursing lambs.
Then the screen went black.
It was followed by a scene of piglets suckling on their mother. “Oh, look at the piggies! All those brothers and sisters! One, two, three, four... oh, goodness gracious! This pig has ten babies! They’re all fighting for mommy’s nipples! Don’t push, now! Suck, suck, suck, suck!”
Next came a cow nursing scene. Eiko-san narrated that one, too.
Then a hamster nursing scene. Eiko-san, once again, narrated that one.
Dogs. Horses. Cats. Various wild animals: Elephants, monkeys, and polar bears. There were even some pretty rare nursing scenes here. Just one mammal after another, after another, after another...
“Baby mammals are all nipple buddies!” Eiko-san’s voice exclaimed. “They’ll be sucking together all night long!”
Only after a full 20 minutes did the video finally end.
Isuzu stared at the black LCD screen for a while with furrowed brow and tilted head. “AVs...” she said slowly. “‘Animal videos’?”
2: Not Enough Money!
There were three things Latifah Fleuranza looked forward to every night. The first was preparing her handmade croquettes to sell to the guests the next day. The second was conversing with the birds in the rooftop garden. The third was taking a bath.
She enjoyed the hot water, which was infused with fragrant herbs from the garden, and the faintly aromatic steam... Despite her blindness, she didn’t need anyone’s help; she knew just where everything in the bathroom was. Even though she had lost her memory of everything up until last month, her body remembered.
But last week, Latifah had stopped taking these baths. The luxury of soaking her bare body in a tub full of hot water was one they could no longer afford—it would spike their gas and water bills. Latifah had heard that the employee dormitories had even set schedules for when hot water would be available.
Instead, she boiled hot water in the kitchen, hauled the kettle to the bathroom, poured it into a washbasin, and mixed it with cold water to reach just the right temperature. Then she stripped down, lathered herself with a towel and bar soap, and then rinsed herself off with the water remaining in the basin. She was allowed to wash her hair only once every three days, but she wouldn’t allow herself to complain.
“......” She was shivering. She hurried to the changing room, and then dried herself off with a bath towel. She felt cold and brittle, and she missed her scented tub... But it was a trivial sacrifice, she told herself.
Everyone else is working so hard, she thought. Surely, he will make another miracle happen...
“...Achoo!” Latifah let out a dainty sneeze, then groped around for her undergarments.
Sento Isuzu was using a nearby public bath. She couldn’t use her bath in the dorm, and she could hardly justify personal indulgences when she knew what indignities Princess Latifah was suffering.
The public bath she had gone to had been in business 50 years. It was the archetypal bathhouse of its age: the anachronistic mural of Mt. Fuji; the white tile floors and walls... An ancient electric fan twisted back and forth in the changing room, and glass-fronted refrigerators carried bottles of coffee milk.
As a soldier of the royal guard who had only ever bathed in her own private bath since coming to the mortal realm, her very first visit to the public bath had brought a number of surprises.
“Um, Isuzu-san...” Her companion, the Fairy of Water, Muse, spoke up hesitantly. (Isuzu had said, “It’s my first time going. Will you show me around?” and dragged her along.) “You’ve been staring at that ‘keroyon’ washbasin for a long time. I don’t think you’re going to find anything there...”
“......” Stark naked and on one knee, Isuzu was staring at the basin, humming with interest. “Do they sell these basins?” she asked.
“The bathhouse? I don’t think so,” Muse answered. “I’ve seen them sold at Tokyu Hands, though... do you really like them?”
“No. I was merely wondering if basins were an effective form of advertising. If they’re sufficiently inexpensive, it might be worth trying...” Could I print “Amagi Brilliant Park” on the bottoms of simple yellow washbasins, Isuzu wondered, and get public baths here and there to stock them? Perhaps they could include an illustration of the
ir headliner mascot, Moffle...
“You’re always thinking about work, huh?” Muse commented idly. “...but I hear it takes a lot of special treatment to keep the messages from peeling off those basins, you know? It might cost a lot more than you expect.”
“I see...” Anywhere she went it was cost, cost, cost. Another promising idea, nipped in the bud. Depressed, Isuzu put the basin back where she got it, then padded her way towards the bathtub. She threw her washcloth into the water unceremoniously, and was just about to enter when—
“Oh... Isuzu-san! Isuzu-san!” Muse called urgently.
“What is it?”
Muse grabbed Isuzu’s arm and snatched the towel out of the water. “You can’t bring your washcloth into the bathtub! You need to fold up it neatly and put it on top of your head. That and washing yourself off before going in are the two iron laws of the bath house! Other people need to use it, so it’s a little gross if you don’t clean yourself off first, right?”
“Gross...” It was true that, because of the park’s budgetary issues, Isuzu hadn’t had a bath in close to a day. After spending 22 hours and 32 minutes unwashed, she could hardly deny that she was indeed ‘gross.’ Without taking a bath every eight hours, she started wanting to die, but she had forced herself to grin and bear it—even though she felt drained physically and mentally, and even moving felt like a chore. But to be considered ‘gross’... How could she ever purge such humiliation?
“Aw, hey, it’s not that bad!” Muse told her. “We just need to wash off first. Come on, this way.”
“......” But I just want to get into the bath already, Isuzu thought. Still downcast, she followed Muse’s lead and sat down in front of the designated mirror, where she worked up a lather with a washcloth and soap. So as not to offend again, Isuzu watched what Muse was doing very carefully, so that she could imitate it herself. I see... you start by washing your right leg, then you move to your hips and your waist... Then you move scrupulously down to the tips of your toes on the left foot, scrubbing in circles...