The Trouble With Love

by Beth Ciotta

  “Dev’s not the only one who’s tense. Polish that counter any harder and you’ll wear a hole in it.”

  Chloe hadn’t even been aware she’d picked up the dish towel. Not that the counter needed a scrub. She’d tidied and cleaned after her predawn baking spree. The kitchen gleamed. Stomach aching, Chloe looked at Monica with her heart in her eyes. “I don’t want to screw up.”

  “Are we talking about Dev or Moose-a-lotta?”

  Chloe’s voice caught. “Both.”

  Monica pulled her into a hug, smiled against her cheek. “You won’t fail, Chloe. Not on either count. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. When you put your heart into something, you’re unstoppable. Speaking of a formidable force, where is Dev anyway?”

  “I needed space to do my thing in preparation. Then I worried if he came right at eight I’d feel pressured if we didn’t have a mob by eight ten. I asked him to stay away until at least half past.”

  “I’m surprised he agreed.”

  “Me, too.”

  Just then the man who enriched Chloe’s colorful world pushed through the kitchen door. “What’s wrong?”

  “Just a case of nerves,” Monica said, pushing away from Chloe with a wink. “I’ll drag a chair outside and help Daisy get her head on straight. The moose head, that is. Five minutes and counting!”

  Monica rushed out and Devlin moved in.

  Chloe’s already-racing pulse pounded. “You were supposed to stay away until we got past opening.”

  “Tried. Failed.”

  “I’m glad.” Chloe saw the compassion in those blueberry-blue eyes. The man was so intensely gorgeous he stole away Chloe’s breath. Or maybe this was a panic attack. “Can’t breathe.”

  Devlin held her close and smoothed a strong hand down her spine. “I know I had my doubts about this venture, Chloe.”

  “And rightly so. I have no experience—”

  “You have heart. Imagination and determination. Not to mention you’re a gifted chef.”

  “Daddy co-signed—”

  “And you’ll make good.”

  “Daisy—”

  “Is the happiest I’ve ever seen her. Anything else?”

  Chloe’s heart warmed, her spirit soared. With Devlin holding her in his arms and looking at her with bone-deep love, it was hard to fret about secrets and failures. She couldn’t predict Rocky and Jayce’s future, but she could imagine a happy-ever-after for herself and the man she’d jumped off a bridge with. Holding tight to that mind-set, Chloe gazed at Devlin. “I could sure use a good-luck kiss.”

  “Luck has nothing to do with it, hon. You and Gram worked hard for this. It’s all good.”

  She smiled a little, confidence stoked. “I could still use a kiss.”

  “Anytime, Chloe.” Devlin stroked a thumb over her cheek, nipped her lower lip as a sensual prelude. “Anywhere.”

  Chloe wiggled against his arousal. “Hold that thought,” she said with a playful grin. “I’ve got a dream to debut.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Manhattan, New York

  “Your stamina’s pretty impressive, Bello.”

  “So’s your insatiability.” Jayce fell back on the mattress, heart pounding from another intense round with Rocky. He’d ended up spending the night, not that they’d slept much. Every time he thought he’d sated her cravings, she got another itch. Not that he was complaining.

  She rolled onto her side—a smokin’ naked goddess—and stared down at him, her lush lips curved in a cocky smile. “Too much for you?”

  Brow raised, Jayce trumped the goddess’s arrogance. “If anyone cries uncle, it’ll be you, Dash.” He noted the spark in her gaze, the flare of her nostrils, and the quickening of her pulse at the base of her throat. Though she’d never admit it, Rocky liked being dominated. At least in bed. He’d sensed it the moment he’d pressed her against the wall and taken control. He also sensed she’d never allowed another man to be the aggressor, not wholly. Every time she tried to shift roles, Jayce twisted the moment, ultimately “telling” her to do what she “wanted” to do. The more he dominated, the greater her need. He wasn’t even sure if she was aware of how he manipulated her in bed—which made him a bit of a bastard.

  He was finding it hard to care.

  “I keep waiting to feel awkward about some of the things we did last night.”

  “Why?”

  “Some of it was a little adventurous, even for me.”

  “I don’t recall anything out of the ordinary.”

  “So you do stuff like that with all the women you take to bed?”

  “I don’t have a stock playlist when it comes to sex. Depends on the woman.”

  She raised a brow at that. “What kind of woman am I?”

  His lip twitched. “The adventurous kind.”

  She narrowed her eyes while shoving a mass of disheveled curls over her bare shoulder. “This isn’t working according to plan.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I thought if I indulged in a carnal carnival, the fantasy would fizzle.”

  Jayce clasped his hands beneath his head and stared up at Rocky with mock concern. “Should I be flattered or insulted?”

  “You were supposed to be a selfish or clumsy lover.”

  “Sorry to disappoint.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “You’re right. I’m not.”

  Rocky grunted, rolled onto her back, and nabbed her phone. “No word from Tasha,” she said, frowning at the Android. “Something tells me she’s blowing me off today.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  “Only if it affects Cupcake Lovers.” She set aside the phone, sighed. “I think she’s flirting up our editor.”

  “Of course she is. He’s a man of power, isn’t he?”

  “She’s a married woman.”

  “She’s Tasha.” Jayce cast his bed partner a curious glance. Getting to know the adult Rocky was a fascinating rush. “You’re provincial.”

  “If you mean I think a person should honor their marriage vows, then that would be a yes.”

  The heat in her voice warmed his heart. Adventurous and old-fashioned. Talk about an enticing mix. “Sweet.”

  “Sweet?” She playfully lobbed her pillow at his head. “I’m going to shower.”

  “I’ll join you.”

  Rocky rolled out of bed—lush and naked—and sauntered into the bathroom. “The hell you will.”

  Jayce smiled. The hell I would.

  * * *

  Rocky wasn’t surprised when Jayce joined her in the shower. She wasn’t annoyed either. She couldn’t get enough of him, which posed a problem, since tomorrow she’d be getting on a plane and flying back to Sugar Creek. Once she was there, life would go on. Without Jayce. She kept telling herself that by that time she’d have this carnal craving in check. But she didn’t really believe that, so she decided to focus on the sexual part of the obsession. Taking the emotional aspect out of the equation somehow eased Rocky’s ancient misery. She was no longer in love with Jayce Bello. She was in lust. It was a freeing and empowering notion.

  “You look beautiful,” Jayce said as she weaved her damp hair into two braids. “And smug.”

  “I was just thinking how excited Gram’s going to be when I share my sightseeing ventures,” she lied as she shimmied into her jeans. “Because of you, I accomplished everything on our Big Apple wish list in one day.”

  “It’s after nine. Why don’t you give Tasha a try?” Jayce said while pulling on fresh cargo pants. At some point during the night, he’d retrieved an overnight bag from his car. In my line of work, you never know when you’ll need a change of clothes. Forgoing an iron, he pulled a slightly wrinkled brown T-shirt over his head and dragged his fingers through his shaggy hair. Even rumpled, the man was sexy.

  “After we know your obligations with the publisher,” he went on, “we can explore some of the city’s more obscure points of interest.”

  “Sounds good,” Rocky sa
id while speed-dialing Tasha, not that she expected the woman to answer. Rocky always ended up leaving messages, and Tasha always took her time returning the calls. As if her life were more important than Rocky’s. “I thought we could venture to Brooklyn,” she said as the phone rang once, twice. “I’d like to see where you’ve been living all these years. Your office, your apartment—”

  “About that—”

  Rocky cut him off when Tasha unexpectedly answered. “Really?” she said, sounding hungover and cranky. “You couldn’t wait until I contacted you?”

  “I waited all night, Tasha. All morning, too.”

  “It’s not even nine thirty.”

  “And I’d like to know how to plan my day.”

  “You’re asking me for suggestions?”

  “No. I’m asking where and when I’m supposed to meet you and Brett or whoever from Highlife Publishing. What about the tour of the bakeries specializing in customized cupcakes?”

  “That got put off until Monday.”

  “What? We’re supposed to fly home Sunday. I have responsibilities in Sugar Creek, Tasha. A business. A family. Preparations for the Spookytown Spectacular.”

  “So go home. Buy a ticket on a commercial flight or call and ask Nash to fly down and get you. I’ll stay here and take one for the team.”

  “I bet you will.” Phone braced between her shoulder and ear, Rocky buttoned a floral blouse over her snug tee. “Did you sleep with our editor last night?”

  “Did you sleep with Jayce Bello?” Tasha barked a cruel laugh before Rocky could deny or brag. “As if! You pined for Jayce all through junior high and he never even gave you a second look. And yesterday? All I saw was a man looking out for his best friend’s little sister. Jayce wouldn’t indulge in a one-nighter with you. He’s too loyal to Dev. Besides,” she said with a judgmental sniff, “you’re not his type.”

  Oh yeah? Rocky wanted to say. Then why did he take me every which way including on all fours? Why did he kiss me head to toe and lick me to orgasm? Why did he tell me to—

  “No pithy comeback?”

  “Not wasting my breath.” In truth Rocky ached to rub the woman’s face in every sexy detail of her erotic marathon with Jayce, but she held her tongue and, to her amazement, her temper. Instead of blowing her top, Rocky paced. “Is there anything on the agenda today for Cupcake Lovers and Highlife?”

  “No.”

  “If you screw up this book deal—”

  “I thought you didn’t care about the deal.”

  “I don’t. Not really. But it’s important to several members of the Cupcake Lovers and to the club in general. Or rather the soldiers and charities that benefit from our work.”

  “So you finally admit my idea has merit.”

  She’d rather die. “We’ve come this far. Might as well see it through.”

  There was a tense moment of silence, then, “Listen, Rocky. Contrary to what you’re thinking, I had nothing to do with the cupcake tour being delayed until Monday. There was a conflict on Highlife’s end. Also, contrary to what you’re implying, I’m not sleeping my way to a publishing contract. The club earned the deal with our proposal. As soon as Dev signs off on the legalities, it’s official. Unlike you, I have a life beyond Cupcake Lovers and a run-down bed-and-breakfast. I intend to enjoy my unexpected extended weekend in New York. When you figure out if you’re going or staying, text me.”

  Rocky halted in her tracks as Tasha disconnected in anger. “What the hell?”

  “Working off a one-sided conversation,” Jayce said, “but I assume you’re free for the day.”

  “And all of tomorrow.” Rocky tossed her phone on a chair and perched her hands on her hips. “I’m not sure, but I think I hurt Tasha’s feelings.”

  “Pretty sure that’s impossible.”

  “She was definitely upset.”

  “Given your tense history with the woman, I’m surprised you care.”

  “Whether we get along or not, accusing her of sleeping her way to fame and fortune is pretty rough. Especially if it’s not true.”

  “Asking and accusing are two different things.”

  “Not always. Implication can be just as damning.”

  “When did you get so wise?”

  “I grew up when you weren’t looking.”

  “Did you?”

  Rocky blinked at his odd tone. Was that censure? Sarcasm? Warped humor? “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Jayce held up his hands in surrender. “I’ve usually had three cups of coffee by now. I’m a little off.”

  “I’ve usually had a glass of OJ, a morning run, and a full breakfast by now. I’m a lot off. Plus I’m stuck here now until … I don’t know when. Tasha said she’s meeting again with Highlife on Monday, but she didn’t say when she booked the charter plane for the return flight. Monday night? Tuesday morning? Hell, I’ve got things to do at home.”

  Frustrated, Rocky dropped in a chair and pulled on her sneakers. No pub business, no sense torturing herself with heeled boots. She watched as Jayce buckled on his watch and a thick leather bracelet. She’d noticed that bracelet yesterday and sneaked a closer peek while he’d lingered in the shower. A simple brown band imprinted with black-and-tan dog paws.

  “What’s the significance?” Rocky asked, momentarily distracted.

  He glanced from the bracelet to her. “Homeless-animal awareness.”

  Rocky raised a brow, but Jayce didn’t elaborate. Huh. Rugged, street-smart, cultured, and kind. A champion of people and animals in need. How could she not know about his soft spot for animals? Her stomach fluttered in a troubling way. “How much do you think a last-minute one-way ticket on a commercial flight would cost?”

  “A lot.”

  “I figured. I’m not going to ask Dev for that kind of money.” She chewed on her thumbnail. “I suppose I could ask Nash for a favor.”

  “I’ll drive you.”

  “What?”

  “I’ll drive you home. When do you want to leave? Tonight? Tomorrow?”

  Rocky shot to her sneakered feet. “You’re offering to drive me from New York City to Sugar Creek, Vermont? That’s gotta be…”

  “Six, seven hours.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Because I want to and because it’s on my way.”

  Rocky stared; her mind spun. “You were planning another trip home?”

  “As a matter of fact … yes.”

  “Something to do with the sale of your parents’ house?”

  “You could say that.”

  “Don’t you think it would be a little awkward? Seeing Dev so soon after we…” She gestured to the rumpled bed. “I assumed you wouldn’t make it back to Sugar Creek for another, I don’t know, few months. If that. There have been times where you’ve gone a year or two without visiting. It would be easier to pretend—”

  “I’m done pretending.”

  Her insides twisted.

  “I’m moving home, Rocky. For good.”

  She didn’t react at first. She was too stunned. Her vision blurred and her hearing buzzed. Her brain slowed, then raced. Jayce living in Sugar Creek. How would that work exactly? Obvious answer: It wouldn’t.

  “I’ve been fighting the inclination for months,” he said, addressing her wide-eyed silence. “Out of respect for you and our secret. In deference to my friendship with Dev and the sincere fondness I feel for your parents. Thing is, I’m no longer content living a lie.”

  The buzz in her ears grew louder. Rocky gripped the edge of the desk to stabilize her wobbly legs.

  Jayce moved toward her.

  “Don’t,” she choked out. She couldn’t think straight as it was. If he touched her … “Why?”

  “The life I’ve built in Brooklyn isn’t the life I want.”

  “But you could go anywhere, live anywhere.”

  “I know.”

  “But Sugar Creek—”

  “Done deal, Rocky. Shipped my belongings yesterday morning.”<
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  A slow, furious burn started at her toes and sizzled throughout her body. The buzz in her ears intensified to a roar. “You knew and you let me … let us…”

  “Don’t argue the inevitable.”

  “But it wasn’t inevitable!” Rocky threw her arms wide, gestured to the bed. “I never would have … If I’d known you were moving home … Bastard!”

  “So you just planned on having a weekend fling and then blowing me off? Again?”

  She blinked. “If you’re referring to that morning thirteen years ago—”

  “I am.” Jayce stood his ground, crossed his arms. “The morning I asked you to marry me. To which you replied, Piss off.”

  Rocky marveled at the subtle resentment in his tone. “You didn’t ask me anything. You told me we should get married. ‘Should’ as in it was the right thing to do. ‘Should’ as in it was your duty as a stand-up guy to make an honest woman out of the virgin seducer who also happened to be jailbait!”

  “You blew me off and harbored a grudge all these years over semantics?”

  “I loved you. I … I worshiped you for years. Every day you didn’t touch me, I died. When you went away to go to college, I was miserable. Then I thought, if we could just be together, if you could just be my first, and then it happened! It was wonderful and romantic and perfect. I had no expectations, just this wonderful sense of loving and being loved—even if only for that one perfect moment. Then you ruined it!”

  “This is what’s been festering inside you all these years?”

  He was angry. No, he was furious. He didn’t move. He didn’t blink, but Rocky felt a shift in Jayce that muted her own temper and filled her with confusion and dread.

  “Do you or don’t you want me to drive you home?”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.” Not because she was wary of his anger, but because she couldn’t get past her own stupidity. Scratching the itch had only aggravated the constant craving. How was she supposed to co-exist with Jayce in Sugar Creek without wanting to jump his bones every time they crossed paths? That she was still attracted to him boggled her mind. She’d just poured out her heart, shared her deepest feelings, her longtime affection, and he made it sound so insignificant.