Jade Crew: Alpha Bear (A BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance) (Ridgeback Bears Book 1)

by Amelia Jade

  “Listen, it’s just better this way. Trust me,” he said, before pushing past her to go outside.

  “What the hell?” she said to the empty air, tears forming in her eyes.

  Emma had been rejected before, but never after having been so intimate and open with someone. It hurt, and it hurt bad. The door flew open under her two-handed shove, and just once she wished she had the strength of one of the shifters. Breaking something would have felt so good right then.

  Instead of heading for Garrett’s truck, which she normally rode in, Emma stomped over to her own SUV, which she had finally retrieved after sitting in the Tongue and Flame’s parking lot for ages. Ferro had been super nice about the whole ordeal, thankfully. Normally any truck parked there for three days would have been towed, but he had known it was hers.

  “Fucking men,” she said, slamming the door behind her. She should have listened to her gut and not gotten involved with him. That was more than evident now, but the past couldn’t be changed, and the future could only be shaped, so she would have to deal with any consequences that came her way.

  That was her attitude throughout the day as Garrett continued to pretend like she was a nobody, but when they returned home she realized she needed to know why. There was no getting around it. So summoning her conviction, she walked over to his room shortly after they arrived back at the Lodge and opened the door without knocking.

  “What the fuck?” he said in surprise, turning to face her from the closet.

  She had to focus her attention because he was standing there with his shirt in hand and his pants hanging open just a bit.

  “I could say the same fucking thing,” she snarled, closing the door and leaning up against it.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t play those fucking games with me. I’m not some twittering shifter junkie who swoons at your every fucking word,” she spat back, her anger seeping through the projection of calm she had hoped to maintain.

  Garrett looked at her and blinked.

  “You were all smiles and hard cock last night, but this morning, you all of a sudden act like I’m nothing, like I’m nobody. That shit fucking hurts. I’m not afraid to admit it. Hell, you gave me more respect and courtesy before anything ever happened between us. So what the hell did I do between the activity last night and this morning’s ridiculous behavior?"

  Garrett stared at her for a moment, and she thought he was going to explode with anger. His reaction, however, was the last thing she had expected from him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his shoulders collapsing as he sat down on the bed, hanging his head. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “What do you mean?” she pressed, her tone softer, more gentle. There was clearly something else going on, something that was swaying the way Garrett was acting toward her. The whole ignorance act was not the Garrett Hoffman she had come to know, however brief her time may have been with the Ridgebacks.

  Garrett sighed in frustration as she sat down next to him, holding his head in his hands. Against her better judgment—again!—she reached out and put an arm around him. Whatever it was, it could bring the big, strong bear shifter down from his tower position of Alpha and reveal to her his human side. That meant that whatever it was, was big.

  “Two things happened in the night,” he said slowly. His voice seemed different somehow, though she couldn’t quite identify what it was besides the depth of emotion present, which she had never heard in him before.

  “First,” he continued, “I came to the realization that I care for you, deeply.”

  She noted that he carefully did not say that she was his mate.

  “The second is that I had some flashes of my past. Memories that I could not remember.”

  “That’s amazing Garrett!” she said, squeezing slightly tighter to show her support, even if she was still mad at him for earlier.

  “Emma Labelle,” he said seriously, pulling away from her slightly.

  “I don’t like when people use my full name like that,” she said slowly. “It always means the next thing people say is going to be extremely bad.”

  “I care for you Emma, but after what I’ve seen, I cannot be with you.”

  “See. Extremely bad,” she said dully.

  “I’m sorry for being an ass this morning, and for leading you on like I did yesterday.”

  “I’ll take the apology for this morning, because yes, you were being a huge ass. But if you’re telling me that you can’t be with me anymore because of something you just remembered last night after we had sex, then screw you. That wasn’t leading me on. That was us getting together, and you getting cold feet over your past.”

  Garrett stared at her in shock.

  “What did you see?” she demanded, not backing down. Whatever was between them was worth fighting for, and she damn well wasn’t about to give up just yet, no matter how badly it seemed to have scared Garrett.

  “I’m afraid, Emma.”

  “Of what?” she asked seriously, well aware of what that admission had cost him. Among shifters, it was commonly known that admitting to fear was the next worst thing to a death sentence.

  “Hurting you.”

  Chapter Nine

  Garrett

  “What?”

  He steeled himself for what he was about to say, hoping that he could get it all out.

  “I saw flashes of my life when I was younger, when my parents were around. It was…not a good life. My dad hit my mom on more than one occasion. He also verbally commanded her, in ways that make me shudder to even think about.”

  “You’re not your father,” she said instantly and without hesitation as their eyes locked.

  It didn’t matter what her words and her eyes said. Garrett knew the truth about himself, finally. Or at least some of it, but it was enough for him to know what the best course of action was. That was to ensure that Emma was safe and out of harm's way.

  “Don’t you get it?” he said. “That’s all I’ve ever known. The only thing I learned about treating women was how to do so in the worst ways.”

  “You’ve treated me well so far,” she said. “This morning aside, of course.”

  “I’m sorry about that, I really am,” he said again. “But you’re too good for me, Emma. I don’t deserve someone like you, and I can’t bring myself to risk doing so, no matter how much I care about you.”

  “Garrett,” she said pointedly, “you don’t know anything. All you have done is remember some memories about your earlier life. That doesn’t make you the same.”

  Running his hands through his hair in frustration, Garrett looked up at her again. He had to convince her, to make her see that she was in danger around him, that she could do so much better than to be stuck with a bear shifter who could barely control his own crew.

  “I’m not prepared to take that risk,” he stated firmly. “The odds of me being the type to treat women poorly is much higher with that sort of behavior ingrained in me, no matter what I may think now.”

  “First,” Emma said, anger truly coloring her voice for the first time, “by even realizing that you feel that way, it means you aren’t likely to go down that path.”

  Garrett inhaled, but the flash of fire in her eyes and the raised finger pointed at him firmly closed his jaw.

  “Secondly, do not make decisions for me. Ever. It is not your sole decision to make regarding risks that may come with us exploring whatever we have going on together. Did you ever stop for a second to consider the risk I’ve already put myself in by sleeping with you? That I could lose my job and a whole hell of a lot of respect if people assume the wrong thing about us?”

  His eyebrows shot up at the hostility in her voice. More than that, however, he thought about what she was saying, about the point she was making. He had made the decision for her. Dictating that she wouldn’t be allowed to be with him simply because of the potential for risk was actually incredibly rude, now that he thought about it from her poi
nt of view.

  “I’m sorry,” he said truthfully. “I just didn’t want to see you hurt. I couldn’t bear that, and I don’t know what I would do if I was the one that caused you harm.”

  She smiled gently at him before leaning in and giving him a kiss. It caught him off guard, but as soon as her figure pressed up against his, he found himself reacting, grabbing her and firmly pulling her to him. He wanted her badly, though he knew now was not the time. That didn’t stop him from snaking a hand behind her neck and holding her close, kissing her harder as she started to pull away.

  “Easy there, tiger,” she said with a gasp several moments later.

  “Sorry,” he said, taking a deep, calming breath to try and relax, his arms reaching behind him onto the silver and black comforter.“So, what do we do?” he asked bluntly.

  “Your worries aside, can you handle being with me and your other duties?” she replied, just as directly.

  “I think so. It’ll be a challenge, there’s no denying that, but they gave me Alpha status because they thought I could deal with challenges. I guess I'll just have to show everyone that their faith wasn’t misplaced.” There was more confidence in his voice than he had expected, but he saw the pleased look in Emma’s eyes, her hazel orbs twinkling with delight. He had passed that test, it would seem.

  “There’s going to be trouble over this you know,” he said calmly as another thought came to him.

  “What do you mean?”

  “The others. Not just because they already dislike me, but now they’re going to dislike me because I have a woman, and they don’t. So they’re going to be demanding to have one, etcetera.”

  “Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that side of things,” she said, somewhat apologetically.

  “It’s okay, I can handle it, but could you do me a favor?” he asked, feeling somewhat sheepish.

  “What’s that?”

  “Could you spend tomorrow in town, instead of coming up to the mines with us? Give me a day without you around to try and sort things out. I think Cole and Russell are starting to come around, so another day without them having a visible focal point like you to focus on may just do the trick. I doubt it will be so quick, but it would really help.”

  “I can do that,” she said with a smile. “I’ve got some things I’ve been needing to get anyway, so that will work.”

  “Thank you,” he said sincerely, rising to give her a hug.

  They exited his room, not quite hand in hand, but also somewhat closer to each other than they had ever been in public before. As the door closed behind him, she rose up on her tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

  He looked over at her in surprise, hoping none of the others had seen it, but it was too late. A catcall came from Corey, followed by laughter from the others. They were all standing around Cole’s truck, which had the hood up. Several toolboxes lay scattered around. They must have gotten to work right away on whatever was wrong.

  “Okay, okay,” he said, addressing the noise. “Knock it off,” he growled as they gave him another round.

  Corey, Darren, and Joel gave another round of catcalls, and he noted the outright glare from Evan. The hooded looks from Russell and Cole did not give much away.

  Those two could bear watching he thought, but for the moment, he concentrated on the woman by his side. Whatever was going to happen would happen.

  ***

  Nothing was happening.

  In some ways, he was grateful, in others, it was making him increasingly nervous. The previous evening had passed without incident, oddly enough, though it had been fairly obvious that everyone just seemed to be biding their time. But even the day in the mines had been going well so far he thought, wiping his brow on his sleeve as the Jade Crew exited the mine into the daylight for their lunch break.

  “Are you Garrett Hoffman, Alpha of the Ridgebacks?”

  So much for nothing happening, he thought, irritated, as someone detached themselves from the side of the office trailer and walked toward him.

  “Yes,” he said, declining to say more as he evaluated the person in front of him.

  The male was of medium height, nondescript facial features, with brown hair cut short and a clean-shaven face. He wore a business suit that could have come from any of a dozen stores and wore a bored look on his face. Garrett thought about trying to intimidate him due to the massive size difference, but the casual, uncaring attitude the man had about him suggested it wouldn’t have made a difference.

  “I’m here on behalf of Lionshead Mining Consortium.”

  The man paused, as if waiting for Garrett to react. Not interested in rising to the bait, he met the other man's eyes levelly, crossing his arms in front of him as he waited for the other to speak. Clearly this man was used to people respecting him when he dropped the LMC name, but Garrett wasn’t about to bow down before him. That’s not the way the Kedyns ran things, even if a certain number of their subordinates thought otherwise.

  “Anyway,” the man carried on, seemingly nonplussed, though Garrett thought he had seen a brief flicker of irritation in his eyes. “I am here to replace Miss Labelle.”

  “What?” The word slipped out, anger rising as he was unable to contain his reaction.

  “She has been reassigned from the,” the man glanced at a clipboard he had until then kept tucked under his arm, “Ridgebacks.” The word seemed to stumble from his tongue, as if he had a hard time pronouncing the non-standard word.

  “For what reason?” he rumbled, though he knew he wouldn’t receive the truth, not from a man like this. There were two types that worked for LMC: those like Emma, who were straightforward and cared about implementing both the letter and spirit of the rules, and those like this man, who saw their positions as set above the miners, when in reality they wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the miners.

  “Her expertise was desperately needed elsewhere, and so it was deemed necessary that she be transferred there, despite the fact that it left the job here unfinished.” The man looked up from his clipboard, the contempt for Garrett and his crew unhidden in his stare.

  The Alpha felt his bear stirring. It didn’t like the insinuation that the man was making, like the Ridgebacks were not worthy of his time. Whatever may be wrong with them, they were still Garrett’s crew, and he would be damned if some snotty asshole from the Consortium's office was going to stroll in and act like he owned the place. He gritted his teeth, images of his fist connecting with the face of the man across from him. Garrett knew that he would never hit him, but there was something very satisfying about the imagery.

  “You are on lunch break, I take it?” the man said as he glanced pointlessly at his watch.

  “Yes,” he growled, pushing past the man toward the trailer door.

  He half-thought the man was going to interrupt him, but he didn’t. There was a distinct sigh from behind him; however, that was not what caught his attention. At the same time, he noticed a smirk on Evan’s face—a very smug look that told Garrett more than a thousand words.

  That sonofabitch.

  Evan must have notified the LMC head office of what was going on. Of course! There was no way they would have let Emma continue on if they knew she was sleeping with him. Garrett felt his anger for Evan rise, even as his respect for him did too. He had never anticipated the other man might resort to such subtle tactics to try and remove Garrett from command. He would have to be more careful going forward in the way that he operated.

  Thankfully Emma was in town, and was likely safe from any reprisals other than a phone call, at least. Still, he would have to do some fast thinking to turn this situation around for the both of them. The best thing would be for his crew to find another stone. Doing that would shut a lot of people up about any ineptitude of the Jade Crew, and would hopefully get the other crews to stop calling them the Green Thumbs as well.

  A commotion from outside drew his attention.

  “Really?” he complained to the empty trailer before w
olfing down another bite of his sandwich and heading for the door.

  The flimsy metal barrier opened to reveal two bears locked in combat. A quick glance told him that, surprise surprise, it was Darren and Russell, at each other’s throats once again.

  “Back to the mine,” he said, not bothering to do a thing about the fight.

  The others watched him for a moment, and it looked like Evan was about to complain about the shortened lunch break, but for once the other man did the right thing and shut his mouth. Garrett thanked him silently for that, as the others all fell in and headed for the open mouth into the mountain.

  “You're not going to do anything about that?”

  Garrett stopped, turning to face the accusing voice. Instead of speaking, he simply arched an eyebrow. It was meant to be a look insinuating that the greasy man should mind his own business, but the power of his glare slid right off the newcomer.

  “You’re just going to let the two of them fight like that?” he asked, his pen poised on his clipboard.

  Garrett thought for a moment on whether he would answer or not. Then with a shrug, he decided to elaborate. “Every time the two of them have fought, it’s been broken up right away. I’ve never let them fight it out, and they keep going after each other. So if they want that so badly, then they can have it for all I care. Perhaps it’ll teach them that they’re being idiots.”

  “And if one of them kills the other?” the annoying man pressed.

  “Do you really give a shit?” Garrett replied, stone-faced, turning and descending into the mine.

  Corey came up alongside him as they descended deeper into the tunnels.

  “We’re in trouble now, aren’t we?” he asked softly, to try and keep the others from overhearing.

  “We certainly aren’t in anybody’s good books it would seem,” he replied, laying the sarcasm on thick.

  “We need to find a stone, don’t we?” Joel said, coming up on the other side of him. The trio stopped and faced each other while they thought.

  Garrett nodded, glancing up at one of the stark white lights in the ceiling, as if hoping for some guidance from above. “That would be the best solution to our problems,” he agreed. “But if we can’t stop fighting with each other we’ll never get enough work done.”