I know how it happened, but I’m shocked. When I stop being shocked I know I’m going to be pissed. Those fucking assholes set me up. They set me up, to set up the cops and now everyone is busted. The duffel was full of nothing. Plastic bags inside plastic bags then taped together to look like bricks of pot. They knew I wouldn’t look in the bag.
I’m not going to be as mad as that cop was when he found out I was just a runner. You can’t arrest a guy for having a bag full of bags.
Hence why I’m sitting in the dirt, not arrested. I flop back into the crunchy snow, unconcerned that my ass is freezing. My ass is free. That’s all that matters.
I don’t know how long I lay there watching my breath freeze with every exhale.
My cell phone buzzes and my heart seizes. I pull it from my pocket but it’s not from them. It’s from Talia.
Meet me at the hospital now
Her words do nothing to ease the tension in my body. I sit up and read the message again. I think of her Nan and jump to my feet.
If something happened and I wasn’t there…. The last words I said to her play in my head. I’m such a selfish asshole.
My near miss with the cops is pushed from my head as I run to the car. I am free now and I’m not going to fail her again.
~
I don’t remember getting to hospital, or parking, or flying through the door. I don’t have my first rational thought until I’m in the hallway and I see her.
Talia stands just outside her Nan’s room and I can see her body shake from here. Her eyes are puffy and tears are flowing down her face faster and harder than I’ve ever seen before.
I hurt for her to see how much pain she’s in, and I start to walk toward her. Halfway to her, she takes a step backward and a loud sob escapes her lips. I stop, and so does my heart. My eyes flicker toward the door of her Nan’s room and she shakes her head.
Her one arm is pressed to her side and she’s chewing on the index finger of the other. Her eyes are glazed and the sadness in them squeezes my guts to mush. I start toward her and she sobs again taking another step back.
Why is she doing this? The last time she got bad news about her Nan she came barreling at me with the force of an entire army.
Unless.
Behind the sadness that radiates from her there’s something else. Something that makes her retreat from me.
Unless it’s not her Nan.
As if an icicle were plunged into my chest, a coldness slowly spreads through my body and I take a step back this time.
“I tried, Lachlan,” Talia sobs.
No. The cold turns to numbness. My fingers curl into fists, but I can’t feel them.
No. It can’t be Gram.
“I did everything I could.” I can barely understand her. I can barely hear her.
Her voice echoes through my brain muffled by my ears, which are trying to shut her out.
Gram.
I feel hands on my face, but just the pressure. I know they’re Talia’s, but I can’t feel the warmth. I can’t feel the familiar tingle of when she touches me.
Like someone had snapped their fingers, I spring out of my hypnosis and wrap my hand around Talia’s wrist.
“Where is she?”
“Lachlan, I—“
“Where is she?”
Talia looks down. “ICU,” she whispers. “They have her on life support. I tried, really I did. But the damage…” She’s crying again.
The foundation of my soul actually cracks. I hear and feel it push through me with such force I can’t breathe.
I pull her close and press my lips to hers. I savor how soft she feels, the almond and vanilla smell of her hair, how she tastes like tears and toothpaste.
Then I pull away, leaving her standing stunned in the hallway.
I barely take three steps when she calls my name. I stop but I don’t turn around. I can’t. If I look at her I might not have the strength to leave.
“Leaving me isn’t going to make her wake up, Lachlan.” Talia’s voice is just a whisper, but her words have enough power to break through the last of my soul, splitting it completely in two.
There’s a gurgle that comes from my mouth as the crack moves through me, tearing me open. I think I’m going to throw up.
But I don’t. Instead the crack finally hits the back of my eyes. They fill.
Gram.
The only person who was ever there for me. I wasn’t there for her.
The same gurgle as before forms in my throat but this time louder. I sink to my knees and Talia is instantly at my side, wrapping her arms around me.
I sink into her and she holds me up.
I cry. No. I more than cry. I relive it. I relive every good thing Gram ever did for me and how I repaid her by lying, by sneaking around, by getting arrested again.
My shoulders are heaving and Talia is stroking my hair. She’s rubbing my back. I spin to wrap my arms around her and like I did for her on the night she found out about her Nan’s cancer, she pulls me into her chest and holds me as tight as she can. She presses her lips to my ear and hums. Her voice is beautiful, just like Grams. She runs her hand through my hair and rocks back and forth. She sings the song over and over until I stop. Until I have nothing left. Until I am empty.
CHAPTER THIRTY THREE
Talia
Lachlan’s sleeping on my couch. He’s exhausted, even in sleep. It shows all over his features.
I feel like I could sleep standing up but I just watch him. I’m still rubbing his back with one hand and holding my cell in the other.
I’m on my way. I’ll bring food. You need anything else?
Janna texts and I reply that we’re good.
I talked to my parents and they agreed that Lachlan could stay, but I’m too shaken to cook anything, or move, or think at all.
Janna shows up an hour later with pizza and almost drops it in her haste to hug me. I assure her a thousand times that I will be okay and she eats pizza with me while Lachlan snores on the couch.
“I don’t mean to bring this up now, Tal. Totally shitty timing, but I got a call from the cops yesterday,” she whispers as she puts her shoes on at the front door. I groan. Not this again.
“Yeah, bad timing,” I mumble.
“They told me that they need to question me further about my statement. I told them when I talk to a lawyer. I didn’t know if that would work but they didn’t question me.” She shrugs and I can’t help but smile.
“You watch too many movies.”
She hugs me.
“I’m just saying because that means they might call Lachlan back in too. That poor guy. It’s never just easy for him, is it?” She steals a glance at him and there is a sympathetic sadness in her eyes. I nod.
Nothing is ever easy with Lachlan.
~
Early Monday morning, Lachlan gets a call. He’s eating breakfast at my kitchen table and he looks like he’s going to throw up. There’s a dozen yes’s, and okay’s and then he hangs up. I’m pacing in front of him. I want to pounce on him and ask him a ton of questions.
“That was the police department.” His face is still pale and his eyes dart around nervously.
“What?”
“He said they need me to come in. You too,” Lachlan’s voice trails off. Janna was right. I don’t have it in me right now to make a statement. Plus, Lachlan going to court over punching Deacon in the face seems just about as ridiculous as me wanting to take down Deacon’s grandma and the knitting show.
“Let’s go then,” I say with more confidence than I even knew I had.
~
I watch Lachlan enter the station. He lacks any emotion, but not in his typical I don’t care because I’m cool way. He really doesn’t care. It breaks me to see him like this. This whole thing was sprung on him and I hate Deacon even more, if that’s possible.
Deacon stands with a lawyer, his hand casually thrown into his suit pant pocket. He’s leaning forward talking to Greta and laughing, ignor
ing us. She scrutinizes me. I don’t like it.
Why are they even here?
My body does this spasm thing where I’m not sure if my legs are going to give out or I’m going to launch myself across the hall at her. I’m just about to decide when a warm hand slips inside of mine and squeezes. It’s not Lachlan’s hand. It’s way too small.
I turn to Janna who is all smiles. Her grin takes up half her face. She shouldn’t even be here.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at school? And why do you look so pleased with yourself?” I mumble and she laughs.
“I brought someone. To help us. A lawyer.” She sounds as proud of herself as she looks. I am just confused. She winks.
Us?
She takes a step back so I can see. Briefcase in hand, my dad is standing awkwardly behind her.
“Dad?” I’m still confused. “What are you doing here?”
My dad clears his throat. It’s something he always does before addressing people professionally.
“Janna called me yesterday and told me everything.” My stomach flops when he says everything and I glance sideways at Janna.
Dad says hello to Lachlan and stretches out his hand. Lachlan looks at it, and then he looks at me. His eyes say what the hell?
I shrug.
Lachlan smiles at my dad and shakes his hand. I let out a slow breath. Janna squeezes my hand again.
“Not really the place you want your dad to meet your boyfriend, hey Tal?” She giggles. I’m so very lost. Why is she here? Why is my dad here? And what did she mean by everything?
“Not exactly. What did you tell him?”
I’m distracted by Dad as he approaches Deacon’s lawyer and they shake hands stiffly before my dad takes him aside. I wonder what they’re talking about.
An officer comes and ushers Lachlan and my dad one way while Deacon and his lawyer go another.
I sit on a small bench in the hall and Janna sits next to me.
“I’m sorry, Tal. I hope you aren’t mad at me for telling him, but I knew you wouldn’t. Deacon can’t get away with this. We all know that Lachlan did what he did because of me. I think Deacon lied and that’s why we’re being called back in.”
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
“This is the first time I’ve been asked to come in.” I remember Deacon asking me whether I’d gotten called in.
“Yeah, I’m not supposed to say anything but they think Lachlan and Deacon were just fighting over you. I was brought in to make a statement about where I got drugs. And I may, or may not, have let Deacon’s involvement slip.” She smirks.
It’s hard to cross Janna, but she’s vicious if she wants to be.
“What Lachlan did wasn’t right. But Deacon gets away with everything. He’s such… He’s such a…dick.”
I laugh and nudge her with my shoulder.
“I’m glad you called my dad. He’s good.”
I used to go to court and watch my dad when I was a kid. I loved it. I thought he was a superhero. My superhero. Then we needed a bigger house, so he took that corporate job. Every day he became less and less interested. Every day he became more and more busy.
And not until now did I feel sorry for him. He gave up what he loved for us and all I did was resent him for it. Blame him for not being around. But our family is bigger now. Things have to change.
My eyes fill with tears and I shake my head. I really need to get this crying thing under control. But I can’t help but feel happy, like truly happy. It still blows my mind. I remember I’m going to have a brother and I haven’t told Janna about it yet. It will have to wait a bit longer.
Lachlan comes out with my dad. His face is white and his eyes are unfocused. My dad has his hand around Lachlan’s shoulders and a smile across his face.
CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
Lachlan
I never would ever guess that Talia’s dad would help me. Dads don’t help me. They warn their daughters to stay away from me.
But Malcolm’s smile is genuine. When he shook my hand he looked me in the eyes.
The cop asks me the same questions they asked me the night of the party and I answered them the exact same way.
The officer’s holding a paper and his eyes flick between me and whatever’s written down.
I remember Deacon saying he would tell them that I hit Talia. That must be why they brought us in.
“Lachlan?” the officer says and Malcolm squeezes my shoulder.
“Sorry, what?” I shift in my seat.
“Was there anything you wanted to add to your statement?”
I shake my head.
Malcolm reaches across and shakes the officers hand.
“I’m sure you’ll see that this is just a couple of young guys fighting for a girl’s heart.” Malcolm smiles, “That girl’s sitting out in the hall should you need to obtain a statement from her.”
The officer clears his throat. “I think you might be right, Mr. Gregory.”
He shakes his head lightly as he shuffles his papers. Malcolm motions for me to get up. He tucks his case under one arm and throws the other one over my shoulders. It feels really strange to me. I’m not used to this. It’s really messing with my mind.
He guides me out into the hall where Talia and Janna are waiting.
“I know what’s behind all this, Lachlan. Janna told me everything. I trust you are turning this around now that you are officially an adult?” he says as we’re walking.
I’m stunned so I stop walking. He speaks about me like it’s no big deal that I have the reputation I do. He doesn’t say it with pity, or distain. Just like it’s a fact.
“Why are you doing this?” I don’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but it does. I also didn’t mean to dodge the question because I am turning it around.
“Doing what?” Malcolm’s expression doesn’t change.
“Helping me.” I can’t stop myself from feeling indebted to him.
He shifts his gaze to Talia then back at me.
“I’m not.” Again with the facts. “I’m helping my little girl. She sees something in you, and I trust her. I did this for her, Lachlan. Not for you.”
I feel relief but also a little dejected at the same time.
“Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re a nice kid and I understand your situation so I’m willing to give you a little leeway. I’m not huge on your reputation, or sleeping at my house alone with my daughter. But I trust her. She wouldn’t have asked Rebecca and me for you to stay if it wasn’t important.”
I blush. He doesn’t know what we did in his bedroom. I look down, letting my hair fall in my face to hide my heated cheeks. I never blush. Damn this girl.
“Thanks,” I mumble. It’s not a word I use often. “For everything. She deserves.”
That’s when I feel her. Her body slams into mine, and I scoop her up with my good arm. She kisses my neck, my ear, my jaw, my cheek then my lips. I set her down and press her head into my chest. I’m uncomfortable kissing her with her dad watching me.
Talia pulls away from me and pounces on Malcolm.
“Dad.” She throws her arms around his neck and he sets down his case so he can hug her.
“Dad, thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
Malcolm kisses the top of her head. “You know I’d do anything for you, Tali. Anything.”
“Do I need to go in there?” She asks, chewing on her finger.
“Maybe, but not today.” He hugs her again and then takes a step back.
I’m so glad because I need to get out of this place, and I’m still totally not used to all this love-y shit going around.
“I think tonight would be a good night for takeout,” Malcolm says. “You in?”
Talia and Janna nod. I don’t know what to do. I still can’t go home. But I’m not sure if the invitation extends to me.
Talia grabs my hand, pulling me from my thoughts of Gram.
“You coming?”
“Yeah, I’m right behind you. The view is better from back here anyway.” I try to make things sound like before. I need to feel like I did before. Happy. With her.
I wink at her and she blushes, glancing to make sure Malcolm didn’t hear.
She hits my chest.
“You are so bad.”
“You have no idea.”
CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
Talia
Sitting with Nan by her hospital bed is almost back to normal. Well as normal as hanging out in a hospital can be. We knit together while she hums with the soft sounds of the TV in the background.
Pain stabs through my heart as I watch Nan. I thought I was going to lose her. I still might. But the thought never crossed my mind that it might be Georgina I’d lose first. I feel the pain in Lachlan’s eyes again. I left him in front of Georgina’s room.
Today’s the day they take her off life support.
His aunts and uncles are here, and they even let his mom come and say goodbye a few days ago. I was here for him then too.
“Can you find your way back, darling?” Nan’s voice sounds like it used to. Like honey and soft towels and sunny bright skies and everything else I love in this world.
“Hmm?” I look up and my eyebrows pull together.
“You seemed lost in your thoughts.”
She continues to hum, wrapping the yarn around the needles.
“I’m just worried about Lachlan. He’s still really torn up.”
“Well of course he is. What a horrible thing to experience after everything he’s been through already.”
I nod, but Nan doesn’t see me.
“He’ll pull through. He’s strong that one. And stubborn too.” Nan smiles. There is something behind the smile I don’t recognize. Her eyes sparkle and get that glazed stare girls get when they think about someone they like.
I roll my eyes.
“Do you have a crush on my boyfriend, Nan?”
She smiles wider. “I just might. He is so handsome, just like your pops.”
“Well hands off.” I tap her leg with my knitting needle.
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