The Italian Heartthrob: Forbidden Standalone

by N J Adel

  Mike shrugged Nick’s hand off his shoulder and stepped into the room. She was standing by the window, her back to him, her hair light brown in the sunlight. He wanted to run to her, hold her, kiss her and pour his heart out. Instead, he stood, paralyzed by his own mistakes, cursing fate.

  “Close the door,” she said, her voice hoarse and tired, yet steady.

  He did as she asked and walked toward her.

  She shuffled to spin around. Her eyes barely met his. “You look like shit.”

  Damn right I do. He forced a smile. “You look good.” His lips quivered. “Beautiful.”

  Looking away, she took slow steps toward the couch. She was struggling to sit on her own, so, without thinking, he rushed to help her. She didn’t object or throw up when his hands touched her arms. He gazed at her, and then they were both shaking with tears in their eyes.

  She stroked his hair, and he cried harder. Taking her hand in his, he kissed her palm, and then placed it on his cheek.

  “I can’t.” She withdrew both her hands.

  He chewed on his lip as he straightened his back and sat next to her. “Maggie, please listen to me. At least, let me tell you what happened that night. Maybe—”

  “Maybe what? I’ll know what a monster my mother is? I already know that. I’ll know you, too, were abused and feel sorry for you? I already do. It doesn’t change anything, though.”

  The tears in her eyes compelled him to bow his head.

  “Before we got together, I’d always thought you were never going to see me as a woman because I was your friend’s daughter. I’d never thought it was because I was the daughter of your abuser.”

  “No.” His eyes widened. “I’ve never thought of you that way. Never.”

  “You expect me to believe that?”

  “You have to believe that because it’s the truth.”

  “How could you even have feelings for me? How could you touch me?” Her voice shook at the end. “Was it some sort of Stockholm Syndrome or something?”

  “No. No. No. This is…” He shook his head hard and fast. “I know she must have told you that you reminded me of her because she told me the same thing. That’s a complete lie.” He gazed at her, willing her to believe him. “I’ve never seen her in you. Not once. My feelings for you have absolutely nothing to do with Andrea.”

  She labored a breath. “How’s that even possible?”

  “You of all people know your mother for who she really was. How she manipulated everyone for her benefit. All those years she’d made me believe that I was the one who seduced her. For fifteen years, I thought I was the guy who made your mother cheat on your father and almost destroyed your family. Only when you opened up to me about how she treated you I realized she…”

  He felt as if he was choking, and he shoved away the memory. “But that didn’t make me think of you differently. Believe it or not, I loved you even more that night. We were both abused by the same person, and I only saw it as something that could connect us, not tear us apart. Only that night I knew my love for you wasn’t wrong, and the idea of us seemed possible.”

  He meant every word. And in a twisted manner, he was grateful that Andrea had messed with his head in the past. If she hadn’t done that, he would have never remained her client, and he would have never had the chance to fall for Maggie. The best thing that had ever happened to him.

  “Still, you should’ve told me,” she said. “And before you say anything, I know you wanted to tell me, and I idiotically asked you not to. But with something that devastating, you should’ve tried again and again and told me anyway. You shouldn’t have hidden it from me like everything else, thinking you were protecting me. Because you weren’t. You should’ve given me the choice. Don’t you think I had the right to choose, Mike?”

  “Of course. And I tried. So many times. I just couldn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “The moment was never right. It was either you were too happy or too sad.” He shook his head. “I know I’m just making excuses. I’m so sorry. I was a fucking coward, and I’m paying for it. I just thought…hoped you’d never know, and not just because I was afraid to lose you, but I didn’t want you to get hurt.” He shook his head again. “I didn’t know you already saw her with someone else. I didn’t know you…”

  His gaze tore from hers. “I’ll never forgive myself for not figuring it out. Not paying enough attention. I’ve always taken pride in knowing you so well, and I failed to notice something even your ex, who didn’t understand shit about you, knew.”

  “No one knew about the scar except Dad. I never told Kyle, either. He figured it out on his own. He told me today how he’d asked a doctor friend about what could cause a scar like mine. When the doctor had told him it was a blade, Kyle suspected, and Dad confirmed it.”

  “Which makes me even more of a dick. If someone should’ve investigated this, it should’ve been me. He even tried to warn me, but I didn’t understand. I never—”

  “Never thought I was that much of a wacko.”

  “Never thought you’d do that to yourself.” How could someone so beautiful, so smart, so amazing end her life like that? He should have expected it, though. Abuse was one of the worst things in the world. It destroyed people from the inside out until there was nothing left to matter. Not even life itself.

  Her fingers weaved in the back of her hair. Her breaths became shallow. “None of this matters now. I won’t do it again anyway. Looks like I’d never get it done right. God wants me alive for some inconceivable reason. Just have to accept my destiny and fucking live.”

  “Don’t talk like this, please.” His heart shrank. “You deserve to live, Maggie. You deserve to be happy.”

  “I was happy.” Her voice went louder. “I was finally happy, Mike, and then…” She closed her eyes, sobbing.

  Every sob stabbed his heart. “Amore, you once told me if the past dictated our future then we just had to be strong enough to accept it as it was and still follow our dreams.”

  “Take a good look at me, and tell me if strong is a word you can use to describe any part of me.”

  “Maggie, please.” He went on his knees before her. “Despite everything, I’ve always hoped you’d find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  “Even if I do, it doesn’t matter.” She stared at him. “I really wish I could be with you again, but she made sure it’d never happen. How can I touch you, knowing what I know now? How can I push away the images she planted in my head? She told me…very intimate things.”

  His hands balled into fists as he winced. “Please, amore. I’d do anything. Just name it,” he pleaded.

  “There’s only one thing that I want from you.”

  “Anything, vita mia. Anything.”

  “I want Dark Hopes.”

  Scene 83

  Mike

  Mike’s heartbeat rang in his ears. “What do you mean?”

  “I want to buy it back. You take my money, my shares, the island, the car. I just want it back,” she said.

  He just stared at her, his jaws tight. This is why you wanted to see me? To take away the last thing that could bring us back together?

  “Please don’t look at me like this.”

  His vision blurred with tears. “Like what?”

  “You don’t expect me to be able to work with you again.”

  “Maggie, are you listening to what you’re saying? Dark Hopes is my last chance to have you back.”

  “We don’t have a chance,” she shouted, and he could see it hurt her.

  He held his hands up. “Just calm down. You can’t yell.”

  “Why can’t you understand that we’re over? We can’t be…anything anymore. Not lovers. Not friends. Not partners. Nothing. There’s too much pain. Too much darkness for anything good to survive.”

  “No,” he moaned. “Maggie, I can’t live without you.”

  She sobbed, her gaze lifting to the ceiling. “Can’t you see that I can’t live without yo
u either? I literally tried to take my own life, but we have no other fucking choice but to do just that.”

  He burst into tears, unable to bear the pain in her voice.

  “Just please give me back my movie.”

  He scrambled to his feet. “I can’t do that. I won’t do that. What you said means you still love me.” His heart careened at the thought. At the hope. “You just need time, Maggie. Just need time, amore.”

  She uttered a sound in the back of her throat that might have been a snort. “So you’re just gonna be a prick till the end?”

  He bent, looking her in the eye. “If not giving up on us makes me a prick, so be it. I won’t let you go, Maggie. As long as I’m alive, I won’t dare let you go.” He wiped his face with his hand. “And now is not the time to talk about work or do anything except getting you better.” He turned to the door.

  “I’m tied to the movie as its director. You made sure of that. Which means I have casting approval,” she reminded him.

  He spun around, reading her face. Even in her weakest hour, the stubbornness in her expression was evident. One look in her eyes was enough for him to know Maggie Dawson would not let him be the hero of her story.

  Scene 84

  Maggie

  I looked through the one-way mirror glass windows at the Happy Birthday banners my fans held outside the hospital doors. “There’re so many of them.”

  “People love you, Maggie,” Dad said. “It’s a gift no money can buy and no power can force.”

  “I don’t deserve it.” All my life, against all logic, I’d always thought if my own mother couldn’t love me, I wasn’t worthy of any other love.

  “Yes, you do, baby. You deserve all the love the world has to offer.”

  I continued walking down the hallway as Dad held my arm. “Where’s Andrea now?”

  He sulked. “She left.”

  I stilled for a moment, measuring his expression. “Left the house? The country?”

  His silence and the last conversation I had with Mike alarmed me. “Mike talked about her in past tense, Dad. Is she…” A lump rose in my throat.

  “I’m sorry.” His head lowered. “She… Loretta found her in the bathroom after she left here. Andrea hanged herself.”

  Tears found my eyes against my will as a familiar, unbearable pain cracked into my chest. “Did she leave a note?”

  He shook his head.

  Not even an apology or a simple ‘I love you’. I had no control over the tears that kept streaming down my face. Then my breaths came out in dry heaves.

  “Maggie, Maggie! Don’t panic,” Dad said, his voice distant, as if coming from under water, his hands holding both my arms. Then he helped me to a chair. “Just breathe.”

  I closed my eyes, trying to steady my agonizing breaths. A panic attack with a bad lung was excruciating. My brain scrambled to process the situation. Even in my darkest moment, Andrea managed to make it about herself. Even in death, Andrea found a way to make it my fault. She’d ruined my life in every way, and now she wouldn’t even let me have any sorts of closure. She’d robbed me of any chance at a confrontation or having peace.

  “Maggie, breathe.” Dad’s voice turned louder.

  I stared at him and took a few breaths in and out. As the pain and the shaking became under control, I finally managed to speak. “She must have felt like she’d lost all power.”

  “You were coding in front of her. She couldn’t handle the guilt, I guess,” Dad said.

  “Guilt? What guilt? This was never about me. Everything was always about her. She wanted us to feel guilty and sorry for her, not the other way around,” I whimpered. “Did you kick her out or something?”

  He nodded, his face tight with unease. “I’d told her I’d divorce her and she wouldn’t get a cent. There’s also…”

  I ran the back of my hand over my face. “What?”

  “Gennaro. What they did…what she did to him, it turned out she did it to others, too. One of them wasn’t even eighteen.”

  My eyes squeezed shut, as I tried to push down the disgust slicing through my gut.

  “He was arranging for a campaign with the other…victims to expose her.”

  “Good for him,” I said angrily. “He should’ve done it earlier, though, before it was too late.”

  “Maggie, sweetie, I know she was your mother, but she’s not worth one tear of yours. Not one second of your time,” he said. “Just look here.” He pointed to the windows. “Think about all the love you have.”

  I pressed my lips in pain. “I’m tired, Daddy. Take me back to my room.”

  “You haven’t finished the round. We’re supposed to go around the ward.”

  “I don’t care. Please take me back.”

  Scene 85

  Maggie

  As I passed by Mike’s room, I glanced inside. It was empty. “Have you seen him today?”

  “No. I think he finally got the message and left.”

  Before I wondered why he chose today of all days to leave, I saw Jim Cassidy approaching the security guards.

  “Oh, Jim is here.” Dad waved at the guards to let Jim through. “He’s such a gentleman. You know he’s been coming here every day even before you woke up?”

  I made a mental eye roll. Jim was one of the few gentlemen in Hollywood. Beautiful, too. Tall and strong, with a build that required tailor-made suits to fit those muscles. Black hair, enough of it to dig and grab. Blue eyes that owned women’s hearts. Not mine, though. The chocolate brown ones had claimed it for all eternity.

  “Looking good, Kid.” Jim strode in my direction, a charming smile on his face.

  Did all of them have a ridiculous compelling industry smile?

  He shook hands with Dad. “How are you today, Nick?”

  They’re on a first name basis now?

  “All good, except this one here won’t finish her round,” Dad said.

  “Do you mind if I try to change her mind?”

  Dad let Jim take his place. “Be my guest.”

  What the fuck just happened? “I’m tired, Jim. I need to go back to my room.”

  “Not going to happen, Kid.” He started, his arm linked with mine.

  I didn’t like this, and I hated the part of me that immediately worried Mike would appear and see me arm in arm with another man. Out of spite, I gave in to following Jim.

  “The first time I visited I got you flowers, but someone tipped me that you hated them,” he said.

  “And by someone you mean Nick, your new BFF.”

  “He’s a great man. I’m quite fond of him.”

  I braced my hand against the cold, white wall with every step forward. “I can see it’s mutual.”

  “So this time I got you something different.” He fished a long, narrow, rectangular box with a black bow on top out of his suede jacket. “Happy birthday, Maggie.”

  “Jim, you shouldn’t have.”

  “I really hope you like it.” He opened the box for me. A bracelet made of silver and black pearls nestled inside. So simple. So elegant.

  “It’s beautiful.” I looked at his grin. “But I can’t take it.”

  His forehead creased. “Why not?”

  “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

  “Maggie.” He smiled again. “Even though I don’t know the details, I’m aware that you’ve been through a terrible tragedy. I also know that you only broke your engagement with Gennaro a few days ago. I’d be an idiot if I was looking for anything other than your friendship.”

  My eyes moistened.

  “No. No tears on your birthday.” He took the bracelet and hooked it around my wrist. “Looks beautiful on you.”

  “Thanks.” I didn’t have any strength to resist. I just wanted to hide in my room and be left alone so I could cry my eyes out in peace. “Can you take me to my room now? I’m really tired.”

  “Hold on a sec.” He checked his phone. “Yup. I can do that now.”

  My eyes narrowed. “What
are you up to, Cassidy?”

  “You’ll see.”

  At my room, I found a huge cluster of people and a cake and festive noises. Dear God. Another surprise party.

  My eyes traveled through the familiar faces. The loving faces. The old friends. The new friends. Faces of people continuously showing me I was loved and that I mattered. The people who not only believed I deserved to be happy but who would go out of their way to help me be happy.

  Yet when the face I yearned to see was missing, happiness went missing too.

  Scene 86

  Maggie

  I approached Samantha’s ear. “Mike arranged this?”

  She licked some whipped cream off her fork. “Not that I know of. It was Cassidy’s idea.”

  I frowned, the laughter and chatter falling annoyingly on my ears. “Do you know where he is?”

  My manager shook her head. Then her eyes flicked to the side. “Ex alert. Do you need help?”

  I looked to the side and saw Kyle coming my way. “Thanks, but I gotta deal with this.”

  “Good luck.” She edged away.

  Kyle’s pestle green sweater made his eyes look like a turquoise sea. Beautiful yet drowning. “I hope you don’t mind me coming to visit you.”

  I shuffled to my bed and slowly sat on the edge. “I don’t mind, but I’d like to know what you expected to find here.”

  The bed sank next to me as he sat. “I didn’t expect anything. Maybe I did when I saw you a couple of days ago, but not now.”

  “Why’s that?”

  He bent his head. “Your father told me the truth.”

  I nodded, my fingers tapping on the bed.

  “I came today to tell you that I didn’t deserve you, Maggie. I see that now. I should have tried to understand you better, seen things from your side rather than taking hers.”