by Louise Bay
She half smiled and reached between us. I grasped her wrist. “No, Haven. I can’t . . .”
“You can’t fuck me again?” She looked confused, hurt maybe.
“I can’t stop myself getting hard if you touch me. I’ll make love to you as long as you’ll let me.”
“I want you hard,” she said as she twisted her hand away from my grip and clasped my erection. I groaned at the thought she might want me as much as I wanted her. I didn’t need to hold back.
She shifted and slid her knees to either side of my thighs, my dick still in her fist as she dragged up my length. Having her naked gave me endless ideas about what I was going to do with her. And I wanted to do it all now. I reached forward, cupping her tits in my hands, twisting her nipples.
Her breathing stumbled, and I grabbed her hips, pulling her toward me. She knew what I wanted. I was hard, and I needed to feel her all around me. She grasped my shoulders and trailed her delicious, wet slit up and down my dick, twisting her body slightly as my crown hit her clitoris. She buried her head in my neck.
“Jake,” she whimpered. Her movements got smaller. “I can’t. It’s too much. It’s too good.”
“Fuck, baby.”
I grabbed a condom from the bedside table and flipped her to her back. She needed me to make her feel good and from now on, that was my job.
“Are you ready?” I asked her, searching her eyes for any hesitation. She pulled at me, trying to get me closer. She was more than ready.
She clung to the bed sheets and held her breath as I pushed in in one movement. My eyes were on hers the entire time, checking, assessing my effect on her.
“Oh Jesus,” she said. “It’s just, I’m so full.”
I started moving above her and she cried out again and again. First, the noises she made were small, muffled and then they grew louder, magnified with each movement.
The sounds I created in her thrilled me, made me harder, brought me closer. Her expression told me whatever this was between us was as new for her as it was for me. She searched my face, looking for an explanation as if she were in pleasurable confusion.
I slid her legs up and over my shoulders. I was so deep; I was lost. Sweat coated my body and I wondered how long I would be able to hold off.
I reached forward and found her clitoris with my thumb.
She grabbed my forearm and cried out again.
“Like that?” I asked her, pushing and rubbing.
“Please Jake, I can’t . . .” She arched off the bed, stretching, offering herself to me, the force of her orgasm drawing her toward me.
I concentrated on her beautiful face, trying to ignore my desire to empty myself into her. My thumb didn’t relent, and as she recovered from her climax, she realized I was going to make her come again.
“Please, Jake,” she cried. Oh, I could get used to her pleas. The uptight, sharp-tongued Haven Daniels begging me not to make her come, again and again. “I can’t.”
“You can and you will.” I replied. I pushed into her sharply and she relaxed against me, succumbing, giving herself what she needed. She wanted to submit to me as much as I needed her to. I knew her body. She would get a reminder every time she forgot.
Her muscles began to pulse around me and her hands flew to her face as if she were trying to hide the effect I had on her body. But there was no hiding. I knew what I did to her. Every inch of her was mine.
“Look at me.” I twisted my hips as I drove into her. I changed the direction of my circling thumb.
Her hands slid from her face to the pillow behind her. She fisted the fabric as she started to fall.
She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen—fragile, but so strong. Open just for me, a private screening. Her clenching muscles pushed me off the edge, and with a final thrust, I was done for.
It felt as if I lost consciousness for a few seconds. I regained it with the help of Haven’s nails running up and down my back. I shuddered.
“Shit, that was . . .” I pushed up on my hands to watch her. She smiled at me. Sated.
“What?” she asked, and she pulled her arms around my neck and drew me closer.
“I don’t want to squash you.”
“I like feeling your weight on me, like I can’t escape,” she said. Did she want to escape? I’d been clear with her—she wasn’t to run, and if necessary I’d tie her to my bed. She was all I wanted, and if I needed to fight to keep her, I was ready to battle for the rest of my life.
I slumped over her again. “You’re amazing,” I said. “I love to watch you come.”
“Jake,” she said. Her eyes were haunted as she spoke.
“What?” I moved her legs between mine, so I surrounded her, pressing my skin to hers. Offering her reassurance.
“Don’t,” she said. She sounded sad.
“Don’t what?” I asked, propping myself up on my elbows so I could see her.
“Say stuff, you know, like that.”
“Like what? That you’re amazing and I love watching you come?”
She turned her head away from me and closed her eyes.
“You promised me you weren’t going to run,” I said. “If you shut yourself off, you’re doing the same thing. Tell me what you mean.” My heart began to thump against my chest. What was she going to say?
She sighed underneath me. “Stuff like that. Things you’ve said to other women.”
It wasn’t the answer I expected. She wanted to be special—she had no idea how incredible she was. I’d failed her if she didn’t know. And failing Haven wasn’t a possibility.
I pulled out of her, discarded the condom and slumped to her side, my face opposite hers. She opened her eyes. “I don’t say anything I don’t mean, Haven. I’ve never enjoyed watching a woman come the way I enjoy watching you. It makes me feel like I crash through you and take you over. I see a part of you that’s rare and precious in those moments. You are amazing. Don’t doubt it.”
She stayed silent for a few long moments. I kissed her forehead. “You own me. As much as you let me in and that feels like an honor, you also see every part of me in a way I’ve never shown anyone, ever.” I’d spent so much energy trying to break through Haven’s tough shell, I’d not noticed that she’d found a wall in me I hadn’t realized was there. She’d taken it down, unexpectedly, brick by brick.
“You do,” she whispered.
“I do?” I asked.
“You crash through me and take me over. I don’t know myself when I’m with you.”
I couldn’t get her close enough. I pulled her toward me, molding us together so there was no separation, no space between us.
I must have dozed off. Haven’s cell woke me, and she turned in my arms to reach it. I tightened my grip around her, not letting her wrestle free.
“Hey, it could be important,” she said.
“Then they’ll call back,” I said but she continued to struggle so I released her.
The phone silenced before she reached it. “It was Ash.” She burrowed back into my arms. “It’s nearly six. We should get going. I guess we’ll have to buy new tickets—you punched our ride. What was that about anyway?”
“Nothing. The guy was being a douche about you and about Beth.” The last thing I wanted to do now was talk about Romano.
“What happened between them?”
“It’s not my story to tell.” There was no way I would repeat what he’d said. Not to Haven and not to Beth. “Will you trust me? I don’t want you upset and I don’t want to talk about him. Especially when we’re naked in bed and I’m recovering from . . .”
“Recovering?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
I didn’t answer. I just smiled and pulled her closer and she sank against me.
“But we do need to go. I think the last train is at nine.”
“Why don’t we stay?” I suggested. “We’re here, we have the hotel room. I can have you home to cook for Luke tomorrow.”
“Ash is cooking this week
,” she said. It didn’t sound as though I was going to have to try hard to convince her. I fought a smile. It would be easier this time.
“So what time would you have to be back?”
“Hmmm, two?” she suggested.
“We can do that easily.” I kissed the top of her head.
She opened her mouth to say something, then stopped herself. I raised my eyebrows expectantly. Her ribcage expanded against me as she took a deep breath. “You could come, too, if you wanted? I mean, you don’t have to and you’re probably busy but—” I smiled at her as her words came out too fast and my heart swelled. She was going to try to make this work. Maybe the fight was won.
“I’d love to come.”
She looked up at me and half grinned. I caught her face in my hands and pressed my lips to hers.
“Holy crap. I’m not good at all this stuff,” she said. I got the feeling she wasn’t just talking about dinner.
“Stuff?”
“With relationships, men. But I want to do better than I did last time. I don’t want to mess this up.”
“I won’t let you. I got us covered. Follow my lead.” I wasn’t sure where we’d end up but as long as it was together, I didn’t care.
“So, you’re good at stuff with men?” she asked, grinning at me, her mood lightening.
“Oh, I’m going to make you pay for that. I like it when you’re begging me to stop.” I grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the bed, rubbing my growing erection against her thigh. “We’re together, and that’s all that matters, do you hear me?”
She nodded. “I promise I won’t beg you to stop again.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Twenty-Six
Haven
When I opened my eyes to the sunlight, the first thing I thought was that I’d broken my promise to Jake. I had begged him to stop—I had begged him never to stop. I had implored him to go harder, faster, deeper. I felt the consequence of every plea across my body as my tight muscles stopped me from sitting up. I felt shadows of him across my skin—bite marks, fingertip bruises, his scent.
“Morning,” Jake said.
“Hey,” I replied.
“We slept, finally. I didn’t think I’d ever want to.” His words floated over me like feathers. I’d never felt physically needed by someone before. It was grounding, compelling.
“You passed out on top of me, mid thrust,” I said smiling up at him.
“I did not. You fell asleep when I was in the bathroom for like a minute and a half.”
I grinned at him. It sounded about right.
“We should go if we’re going to get you home for your family thing.”
I wanted Ash and Luke to meet Jake properly, but I also wanted to stay. To watch him, still sleepy and caught in the sunlight pushing in through the slits in the curtains. I reached for my phone. It was gone ten. I’d hoped that we’d see a bit more of the city today. I wanted to pretend that we were still in Paris the first time; that I hadn’t wasted the time since filming. That I hadn’t pushed him away.
“We can come back anytime,” he said, reading my thoughts.
“Promise?”
“Of course. Wanna come to Palo Alto with me?”
I scowled at him as I sat up. “I have work. I have to sort out this shit with this article. I hope Louis doesn’t make it difficult.”
Punctuated by long and short kisses, we showered and dressed so we could be back in London in time for Sunday dinner. Before we left, I pulled out my phone. “I should ring Ash to tell her I’ll be a bit late,” I said. “Normally I’d go round soon after lunch to help her.”
He nodded. “I’ll call Beth. Shit! Those real estate viewings.”
“You still want to come to dinner? I mean, it’s nothing fancy. It’s just the three of us.”
“I want to come, Haven. Never doubt me.”
I reached to stroke his beautiful face. “You don’t think this is some kind of spell that is cast on us in Paris?” I asked.
Jake looked at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, you know, we’ll get back to London and this,” I said, swirling my fingers at us, “Will just . . . you know . . . disappear.”
“You’re crazy. I’m not disappearing and you’re not going anywhere. I’ve told you this.”
I nodded, but something gnawed away in the pit of my stomach. I’d had the same feeling the last time we took this train back to London. There was a reason I wasn’t close to many people.
We arrived at Ash’s flat a little before three so there would still be time before Luke got there.
“Are you ready?” I asked Jake as my finger hovered over the intercom.
“Ready for what? You’re not planning to serve me for dinner, are you?” He reached across and pressed the buzzer, then landed a kiss on the top of my head.
A second later, Ash threw the door open and grinned the widest grin I’d ever seen.
“Knock it off, Ash,” I said as I pushed past her into the hallway. “You’ve met, I believe.”
“We have. I’m delighted to see you, together,” she said, and I rolled my eyes.
“Nice to see you again, Ash,” Jake said from behind me.
I headed straight to the fridge to find something to take the edge off. I was either going to be teased mercilessly, or everything was going to be awkward. I wasn’t sure which was more nerve wracking—that he would fit into our little group or that he wouldn’t.
“You’re sure Emma’s not coming?” Ash asked me.
“I’m sure. Otherwise we’d be doing this at my house.”
“Who’s Emma?” Jake asked.
“Luke’s girlfriend,” I said. “We don’t have Sunday dinner at Ash’s if Emma is joining us.”
The door buzzer went again, and Ash headed off to answer it.
“You want some wine?” I asked him.
“Not as much as you do, apparently, but I’ll have a glass,” he responded. It was nice having him standing in Ash’s kitchen as though it was the most normal thing in the world. Good, but weird.
“Hey Luke,” Jake said, extending his hand as Luke and Ash piled into the kitchen.
Luke took Jake’s hand, but wasn’t overly friendly. I watched as the cold rolled off Luke. It wasn’t like him. He was everyone’s friend. But he was worried for me. He didn’t need to be. Jake was a protector, just as Luke was. “I’m glad we’re meeting under better circumstances this time,” Jake said.
Luke nodded stiffly and pushed his hands through his hair as Ash punched him on the arm.
“Come on, cheer up, you misery. Your little sister’s getting laid, you should be delighted!” Ash said.
A mixture of “Jesus”, “fucking hell” and “Ash” filled the room, but Ash just grinned.
“You see, the ice is officially broken,” she said. “We are an equal-opportunity employer here, Jake, so don’t think you’re going to be able to watch sports while we cook. Strap on an apron and get chopping.”
I hopped up on a stool and fiddled with my wine glass while Jake tied an apron around his waist. I knew better than to start anything without express and detailed instructions from Ash.
“I’m going to do everything I can to make your sister happy,” Jake told Luke. “I don’t think she’ll ever find anyone to deserve her, but I’m going to do my best to be that man.” My heart swelled. I sounded so precious when he spoke about me like that.
Luke nodded. “And if you don’t, I’ll kill you.”
“Sounds fair,” Jake said, nodding as Luke smiled.
“So, what car do you drive?” Luke asked Jake. Before he had a chance to answer, Ash interrupted.
“What car do you drive? I’m not going to marry you if you keep this up, dork face. You must have better small talk than that,” said Ash.
“I like them, and I like you with them,” Jake said as we climbed into a cab after leaving Ash’s. “Can we go to Little Venice and then Earls Court?” he said to the driver. Jake’s easy
confidence meant he fit fine into our group and I wasn’t as freaked out by that as I’d expected.
“You can stay at mine if you want,” I said.
He pulled me onto his lap and kissed my neck, driving me crazy. My skin heated as soon as he touched me, as if it was waiting for him to come alive. “I want to. I really, really want to. It’s driven me insane not being able to touch you for the past few hours.”
“I sense a but.” I pushed my hands through his hair as he continued his exploration of my neck.
“I should get home to Beth. She’s . . . it’s—”
“You don’t need to explain. It’s fine.”
“I’m going to have to work a few things out,” he said. I hoped that the spell of Paris was not beginning to weaken. “I need you to trust me. I’m away next week and she needs me at the moment.”
Jake followed me out of the cab when it pulled up outside my building, and for a moment, I thought he’d changed his mind.
He took my face in his hands and brushed his lips against me—brushing then pressing, pressing then pushing my lips open, his tongue crashing against mine. He kissed me as though it was our last moment together. I groaned into his mouth and he pulled away.
“Those sounds you make drive me crazy,” he said, our foreheads resting together. “If we don’t stop now, I’ll never leave.”
Stay, I thought, but I didn’t say anything. Stay or the spell will be broken.
“Can I see you tomorrow? I fly out on Tuesday morning. We could go out to dinner. Or stay in?” he suggested.
I didn’t want him to feel obligated. “I understand if you need to prep or—”
“Haven, I want to spend the evening with you. You need to stop doubting.”
He’d pinpointed exactly what I was thinking. “I told you I was terrible at relationships.” My heartbeat began to quicken.
“I’m going to stay. Let me speak to Beth,” he said as he reached into his pocket.
“No!” I put my hand on his. “You can’t. That will make it worse. I’ll feel selfish and high maintenance and I am those things, but I don’t need to be reminded of it.”