Beating Heart
Page 8
Libby’s frowning, unconvinced.
“Look,” Evan says. “Lib. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. And you don’t need to be the one stuck here feeling bad.”
Her face clears—not completely, but a little. At any rate, she lets it go after that. They watch Simba heading into the desert alone, and are still watching TV when Mom comes home.
“Did Carrie come over?” she asks Evan.
“Yeah.” Evan doesn’t take his eyes off the TV.
“She didn’t stay very long. Did she have to be somewhere?”
“Uh-huh.” Evan’s answers are noncommittal. He knows without looking that Mom has a sneaking suspicion something’s not quite right, but can’t put her finger on it.
“Did you have a nice visit?” she asks.
“Yeah,” Evan lies. “It was good.”
She nods and heads to her office to put her purse away. Any second, Evan knows, she’s going to look up and see that one of her precious windows is gone. He waits, knowing that he’s only got a few more seconds of quiet before another drama starts.
Mom’s dismayed shriek cuts the air. He sighs. Women.
The evening winds down, with Evan, Libby, and a still-distressed Mom all going quietly about their business.
In his room at bedtime, Evan puts all the scattered papers back into the metal box. He doesn’t bother to look at them. He vaguely feels that something is different, but it isn’t till he’s stowing the box on a closet shelf that he figures out that the hazy feeling of dread left over from his dreams has finally faded.
He shuts the closet door and looks around at the few beloved posters on the white walls, at the familiar windows now dark with night. The room doesn’t seem strange or foreign anymore. He’s been here long enough, he guesses, that it has finally become his.
He changes clothes, and as he climbs into bed, he thinks it’s weird how he doesn’t miss Carrie yet. He’s pretty tired, but—at this moment—he doesn’t feel sad, or lonely, or desperate, or guilty.
Right now, what he feels is peaceful.
I watch this one
slide slowly into sleep
bare, muscled shoulders
chest rises and falls
his breath
is shallow
quick
I never felt the knots
till they
unraveled
never saw the ties
till they
dropped loose
never knew that I was
clinging to debris
in someone else’s wake.
He has
gone.
He left
long
ago.
This house
is
glass, wood, plaster,
tile, paper, concrete, iron
while
I
am only
a
whisper
and
an
echo.
And
all I ever had to do was
let
go.
I watch
this one’s breathing grow
relaxed, deep
safe.
Night
becomes
dawn
becomes
day.
The front door
opens.
The air stirs.
I
roll like a wave
rise
to a crest
then
spread freely
dissolve around the edges
unfurl
into
the
light.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I owe a debt of gratitude to the following people for their critiques, common sense, and/or commiseration: Lisa Firke, Chris Ford, Amy Butler Greenfield, Shirley Harazin, Cindy Lord, Martha Moore, Anne Marie Pace, Mary Pearson, Diane Roberts, Nancy Werlin, Laura Wiess, and Melissa Wyatt. Many thanks are also due to Steve Malk and Alix Reid, and especially to Anne Hoppe for her guidance in selecting and shaping the proper pieces, and getting them nailed into place.
About the Author
A. M. JENKINS is the critically acclaimed, award-winning author of REPOSSESSED, a Michael L. Printz Honor Book; DAMAGE, an ALA Top 10 Best Book for Young Adults; BREAKING BOXES, winner of the California Young Reader Medal; and, most recently, NIGHT ROAD.
Jenkins lives in Benbrook, Texas.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.
ALSO BY A. M. JENKINS
Damage
Out of Order
Repossessed
Night Road
Credits
Cover photograph © 2009 by Jan Bickerton/Trevillion Images
Cover design by Kristina Albertson
Copyright
BEATING HEART: A Ghost Story. Copyright © 2006 by A. M. Jenkins. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Adobe Digital Edition July 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-196455-8
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Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Contents
Begin Reading
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Other Books by A. M. Jenkins
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher