by L. P. Dover
Sighing, I closed my eyes against the burn. Opening my eyes, I stepped back and grabbed the painting, pressing the elevator button with my elbow. “You hurt me, Jaxon. Loving you terrifies the shit out of me, but it’s also a feeling I’ve never had before. I don’t know if I can fully trust you again.” Opening my eyes, I stepped back and pressed the elevator button.
He rushed in front of me and stood in the way when the doors opened. “Then let me gain it back. It kills me that I hurt you, and I’ve been beating myself up over it every goddamn day. I don’t think I could let you go even if I wanted to.” My breath hitched and I froze, especially when his hands lifted to my face. His skin was warm, his scent engulfing me as he pulled me into the elevator. “You’re the only one who understands me.”
Tears slid down my cheeks and he wiped them away. His lips closed over mine and I opened myself up to him, giving him my silent answer. He pulled back first and rested his forehead to mine.
“Does that mean yes?” he asked.
I nodded and kissed him again. “If we’re going to do this, I need your full honesty on everything. Can you give me that?”
He nodded. “I’d do anything for you.”
The elevator doors had closed, but pressing the button again, they opened and we stepped in, getting out at the lobby. With a mischievous grin on his face, Stan waved at us when we walked past to the other set of elevators. He probably saw the whole exchange in the parking deck on the security cameras.
When we got into the elevator to my floor, Jaxon pulled me into his arms again, only this time his kisses were harder, more urgent. I gripped the painting, trying my best not to drop it. “I’ve missed you so much,” he groaned. His lips slid down my neck to the top of my collarbone.
“Same here.” In more ways than one.
By the time we got off the elevator, every feeling in my body was heightened. His touch drove me crazy and I needed more. Taking his hand, I led him to my door and flung it open. The second we got inside, I set the painting down and he pushed me against the wall, his hips pressing into mine.
He looked down at me, those amber eyes of his raw with need. “I want to make love to you, Bristol.”
A slow smile spread across my face. “What’s stopping you, then?”
Lifting his hand, he ran his fingers through my hair. “I have to make sure this is what you want. I don’t want to scare you.”
I held his hand to my cheek. “I do want this. And I’m not going to lie—you do scare me. I don’t want to get hurt again, but even more so because of the way you make me feel. Even when I found out what you’d done to people, I still couldn’t shut you out. It’s like I’m being pulled to you and the harder I fight it, the harder it is to resist. It grows stronger every day.”
“And now?” he questioned, closing the distance, his lips so achingly near to mine. “How does it feel when I touch you and kiss you?”
I looked up at him, tracing his lips with my thumb. “It all feels right.”
Sliding his hand out of my hair, he rested it on my neck and pulled me closer. I willingly complied and buried myself in his arms as he kissed me. His breathing quickened and so did mine. I couldn’t get enough of him. Picking me up in his arms, he carried me down the hallway to my bedroom, lit only by the lights of downtown through my window. I breathed in deep and moaned when he placed me on the bed and covered me with his body. Half of his face was cast in shadow, but it didn’t mask the raw, untamed need I saw in his eyes. I shivered and let out a shaky breath.
“There’s still time to back out,” he offered.
Shaking my head, I lifted his T-shirt off and ran my hands down his smooth chest. “No, this is what I want,” I whispered, sliding my hand over his groin and squeezing his cock through his jeans.
He thrust into my hand and grunted. “Jesus, what are you doing to me?” Sliding off the bed, he dropped his pants and boxers to the floor. I squealed when he grabbed my ankles and slid me down to the edge of the bed. He lifted my shirt over my head, and I unbuttoned my pants. He helped me slide them off, letting them fall to the floor.
My core tightened as he lowered me back on the bed and spread me wide. He gazed down at me, the heated look in his eyes making me tremble as he pushed my underwear to the side and slipped a finger inside. I gasped and arched my back, wanting to feel more than just his finger stretching me open.
“More,” I begged.
He pushed another finger inside and rested his body beside mine. With his other hand, he reached behind my back and unlatched my bra in one flick. Lifting it above my breasts, he lowered his mouth to my nipple and sucked. Moaning, I dug my nails into his back and closed my eyes. It felt good to be touched.
“I want you so fucking bad,” he growled. He rubbed my wetness around my opening with his fingers and slid my panties down my legs. I sat up and tossed my bra to the floor before kicking my panties off my ankles. Jaxon chuckled and ran his fingers up the insides of my thighs before settling his body between them. “It’s been a while, love. I’m just warning you now.”
Biting my lip, I glanced down at his cock, all hard and glistening at the tip. He could probably rub himself against my clit for two seconds and I’d be done for. My body was hypersensitive and I loved it. He circled his cock against my opening and stopped.
His lips found mine and just like that, it was only us in my room and the feel of his body connecting to mine. He slid in gently, stretching me only a little bit at a time. “Tell me if I hurt you,” he murmured.
“You won’t,” I whispered back.
Rocking his body against mine, he kissed his way down my neck to the tips of my breasts. He sucked one nipple hard and squeezed the other while pushing in deep. I screamed out in pleasure as my orgasm built. His body tightened and I knew he was about to lose control. Letting myself go, I cried out his name. Groaning, he gripped the edges of the pillow as I milked him to the quick. He shuddered and twitched. I could feel his heart pounding against my own.
“I hope you don’t plan on getting any sleep tonight,” he murmured in my ear. “Because I’m just getting started.”
—
The next morning, I awoke in Jaxon’s arms, his body warm behind me. I didn’t want to wake him up, so I lay there as still as I could until a small chuckle escaped his lips. “I’m awake, love.”
I snuggled more into his arms. “I was just trying to be considerate.”
His lips touched the back of my neck and I shivered. “I’ve been awake for a while. I wanted to hold you for as long as I could.” A heavy sigh escaped his lips. “We should probably talk about everything. There wasn’t much time last night.”
Turning in his arms, I faced him, his arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me in closer. “You’re right, there is a lot to discuss. It’s like I have to get to know you again.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t. I didn’t lie in that letter. The guy you fell in love with is me, only I don’t just design and paint…I’m a football player. A kicker, actually.”
“A kicker, huh?” I said with a smile. “So are you the one who punts or kicks the field goals?”
“Field goals. I haven’t missed a single one yet. I’ve given our team a lot of wins by scoring those points.”
I giggled. “I don’t doubt it.”
His smile faded. “In fact, the last game we had, it was my points that pushed us past the tie.” He stared at me and it took me a moment for everything to click into place. It was the same game my brother tried to get me to go to with him.
“Oh my God,” I murmured. “The game in Florida. You weren’t just visiting your mother, were you?”
The pain was evident on his face. “No. That night I came over here for dinner, I was going to tell you the truth. It was right before my brother called.”
Closing my eyes, I could see that night as clear as day. He was torn about something and wanted to talk to me about it, but there was no time. I opened my eyes and sighed. “I remember now. You we
re already upset over something before your brother even called.”
He nodded. “I knew I was going to lose you.”
“It’s all coming together now. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it before.”
“You were upset when your brother told you who I was. As much as I wanted to make you listen to me, I knew I couldn’t.”
His fingers trailed down my bare side and back up to my arm, the touch soothing. “You said you would be honest with me, right?”
“Of course,” he said, brows furrowed.
I’d often wondered why people did the things they did and a lot of it was a mystery to me. There was a time I wanted to be a psychologist, but the thought of getting into the minds of messed-up beings had me freaked out.
“Why did you like to play games with people? I heard what you did to Evan and we all know you tried to use me to get to my brother. Which, in fact, will probably still piss him off when he finds out we’re together.”
Jaxon flipped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m afraid there’s probably more about Evan’s story you don’t know.”
My stomach dropped and I held my breath. I didn’t really want to hear any more of the terrible things he did. “Like what?” I asked.
“After I tried to sabotage Evan’s relationship with Summer, who happens to be his wife now, there was something bad that happened to him. A guy ran him off the road and caused an accident that killed one of our cheerleaders who was in the car with him. That cheerleader was Derek’s girlfriend at the time. Derek almost didn’t survive himself, but Evan resuscitated him.”
My eyes burned. “Oh no, that’s horrible. But what does that have to do with you?”
His jaw clenched and he huffed. “The police thought it was me who did it. And while they investigated, I was suspended from all games. It was the worst time in my life. At that point, I realized I was the one to blame for their suspecting me.”
“I’m assuming they found the guy who did it?”
He nodded. “A junkie high on drugs. It all happened a while ago.”
I stared at him, but I could tell he wasn’t ready to face me. “Sounds like you’ve been through a lot.”
“Kind of. And to answer your question why I played games with people, here’s why. I’m a competitive man, Bristol. And with that comes a lot of anger when I don’t get my way. Yes, I’m the best kicker in the NFL, but sometimes it doesn’t get acknowledged as much as, let’s say…a quarterback or wide receiver. Dragging others down was the only way I knew how to be happy.” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “What’s funny is that I only made things worse. If I could take back everything I’d done, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
His voice was nothing but sincere and I believed him with all my heart. “Does this mean your scandalous endeavors are over?” I asked.
He turned his head, facing me with a devilish grin. “I don’t know. I guess it all depends on what all you consider scandalous.” Grabbing me around the waist, he rolled me on top of him, and I laughed.
I rested my body on his, straddling his waist. His cock twitched between my legs and my body tightened. “Jaxon, I don’t know if I want to know every bad thing you’ve ever done. All I care about is knowing you won’t do it again. You don’t have to drag others down to be the best, because in my eyes, you are.”
He grabbed my face and brought me down to his lips. “That’s all I needed to hear. I just hope you’re ready to be mine. Because once Thursday comes around, the whole world is going to know who you are.”
“On Thanksgiving?” November had flown by so fast, I’d almost forgotten. My parents were spending the holiday in Barbados and my brother was flying back to Texas for the weekend. It was going to be my first holiday alone.
Jaxon thrust his hips into mine, tormenting me. “Thursday we have a game and I want you with me. I know you don’t care much about the sport, but it’d be nice to spend the holiday with you. Afterward, there’s a dinner at Derek’s house; he’s one of our linebackers and a close friend. His wife is also a good friend of mine. They want to meet you.”
I gasped. “Really?”
He nodded. “They want to meet the girl who tamed the wild beast.”
“Then in that case,” I murmured, leaning down to bite his lip, “I’ll go. I make the best sweet potato casserole.”
He moaned. “What about your brother? What are we going to do about him?”
Ryan wasn’t going to be happy, but there was nothing he could do about the situation. “I can handle Ryan. Just promise me you two won’t get into another fistfight.”
“I promise not to start a fight, but if he does I have no choice but to finish it. It’s up to him.” It was all I could ask for, but I worried about Ryan’s reaction. I guessed we’d find out soon.
Chapter 20
Bristol
For the rest of the week, Jaxon and I had been inseparable. My creativity with work flowed more than ever and I practically walked on air every day. I felt bad for Jennifer since I stopped working out with her at night, but she said she understood. I didn’t tell her it was because Jaxon and I were back together; he gave me more than enough exercise each night. Ryan had been so busy with practice and his own life that even we hadn’t talked, just exchanged a few texts here and there.
Since I lived near the stadium, it gave Jaxon a few extra minutes to relax before the game while I finished putting the sweet potato casserole together. “Are you sure we’ll have time to heat this up before the dinner?” I asked.
He sat down at the bar and smiled. “Yes, we’ll have plenty of time.” I sprinkled on the brown sugar and pecan topping and placed the casserole back in the refrigerator. “And since we’re on the subject of cooking, I heard you fired Angela.”
Slapping a hand over my mouth, I jerked around to face him. “Oh my God, is that what she said? I feel so bad now. At the time, I didn’t want to be reminded of you.”
He chuckled. “It’s okay, she’s fine. Since we’ve been cooking together this week, I told her to take it off. But next week she’ll start back up. Now that we’re together every day, it’ll benefit us both.”
My stomach growled. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Jaxon looked at the clock and jumped to his feet. “We probably need to go.”
He slid on a black and blue Carolina cap and grabbed his bag while I finished straightening up the kitchen. I was nervous about going to the game, probably because when I told my brother that Jaxon and I were together, he let out a heavy sigh and hung up on me. It was the last time I’d heard from him.
“You okay?” Jaxon asked.
Grabbing my keys, I took one last look around the kitchen and faced him. He had his bag slung over his shoulder, waiting by the door in a pair of jeans and a Carolina T-shirt to match his hat. When I first met him, he dressed up in nice clothes with his hair perfectly coiffed, but I liked this side of him better.
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “Just worried about Ryan.”
We walked out and he put his arm around me. “I know you are, love, but at least he knows now. At practice, he stayed far away from me, so it’s not like he’s going to cause a scene.”
That was my worry when he went to practice the next day after Ryan found out. I was on pins and needles the entire day. “All right, let’s go.”
Once we reached the car, it was a simple five-minute drive to the stadium. When we parked, there were other players getting out of their cars as well. Jaxon pointed to a tall, bearded redhead and smiled. “That’s Derek McLaughlin. It’s his house we’re going to tonight. The guy beside him with the light brown hair is Aaron Grainger, my kicking partner. You’ll get to meet his boyfriend tonight at dinner.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s interesting.”
He shrugged. “Not everyone on the team knows.”
“Got it. I’ll keep quiet. What about the blond-haired guy? Who is that?”
Jaxon cleared his throat. “Evan Townsend.”
/>
“And you two are okay now?”
“For the most part. Come on, I’ll introduce you.” We started walking toward them and Jaxon put his arm around me, his breath warm against my ear. “I do have to say, you look sexy as hell in my clothes.”
Giggling, I elbowed him in the side. “I can’t help it I didn’t have anything with Carolina on it.” His Carolina hoodie was comfortable and it smelled just like him. I didn’t mind wearing it, even if it was a few sizes too big.
“You got something now.” The guys noticed us approaching and Derek met us with a wide grin. Even Evan didn’t meet us with a scowl like I was expecting; that was a good sign. “Guys, this is Bristol Thomas,” Jaxon announced.
Derek held out his hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Bristol. It’s nice to finally meet you. I know my wife will be ecstatic. I’m Derek.”
I shook his hand. “Good to meet you. I look forward to meeting her tonight too.” Aaron shook my hand and introduced himself, but I hesitated when I turned to Evan.
“I’m Evan Townsend,” he greeted nicely. “You’re Ryan’s sister, right?”
I nodded. “Yes, or at least I think he’ll still consider me that. He hasn’t really talked to me in a few days.”
Jaxon held me tighter and I felt stupid for telling Evan that. “Don’t worry,” Evan assured me, “he talks about you all the time. We’ve all had our issues with Reed, but he’ll come around. Jax isn’t as bad as everyone thinks.”
Jaxon held out his hand. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”
“No problem. Now let’s go kick some Arizona ass.”
The three of them started toward the door and I finally let out the breath I’d been holding. Jaxon laughed. “Were you nervous about meeting him?”
“A little. After everything you told me last night I didn’t know what to expect.”
“Evan’s a good guy. He’s been talking to your brother a lot over the past few weeks. Ryan started off on the wrong foot and none of us liked him—that’s why I wanted to fuck with you to get back at him.”