Broken and Screwed 2 (The BS Series)

by Tijan

  “Sure.” Food. Bands. Jesse. I’d be stupid to pass that up. Hurrying into the shower, I couldn’t break Jesse’s record of cleanliness so it took me longer. He had made the bed and tidied his room by the time I emerged from the bathroom. His head came up from where he sat on his bed and he put his book aside. He licked his lips as his eyes trailed all the way down to my toes and back up again. He lingered on my lips as he stood and drew near. In a husky voice, he murmured, “You’re going to kill me, Alex. I want you already.”

  The lust from before had diminished to a simmer. It flamed again at his words and his hand touched the side of my hip to draw me against him. It was like he had read my mind. I closed my eyes as his head bent. His cool lips touched against my neck, then his hand clamped tighter on me, and I was pulled tight against him.

  As his lips moved up to my mouth, his free hand slid down and rested on my jeans. His fingers slipped inside, but he didn’t make any other move. He kept kissing me and I wrapped my arms around him to return his caresses. My mouth opened for him and an explosion of pleasure went through me.

  No matter the nosedive into hell my life had taken, I still needed this man.

  I pulled away. My heart was beating like crazy and I gazed at him in horror.

  The need I had for him wasn’t superficial. It wasn’t an itch to scratch that never went away. It wasn’t on the surface, like a crush. This went deep, way deeper than I wanted to think about at that moment.

  “What’s wrong?” He was frowning at my lips as his hand touched my throat. “Your pulse is going crazy. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.” My senses screamed at me to tear away from him, but I stopped myself. I pulled away in a gentle fashion, one that wouldn’t alarm him of the chaos going on inside of me. “Let’s go. Right? That’s what you wanted.”

  “That was until you came out here all wet. My dick’s never sprung up for someone like it does for you.”

  I shook my head. Those were the most romantic words I could ever want to hear.

  I tugged on his hand. “Let’s go.”

  “All right.” His hand went to my butt and he squeezed. Crowding close behind me, he wrapped an arm around my waist so he could find the best fit. “But we’re not staying long.” He rose against me. As he started to grind against me, I closed my eyes and almost missed his next promise, “I’m going to lay you bare all night long, Alex.”

  We slipped from the house unnoticed.

  I’d been a little worried. I didn’t want to run into any of the girlfriends, Tiffany, Chandra, or my RA, but as Jesse led the way, I realized he had his own entrance and exit. Even though he lived in the basement, the house was built into a hill. A separate driveway and patio was connected to his level. I wasn’t sure how that was possible, but when we stepped past the patio doors and into his garage, I saw the deck had rock walls all around it.

  Backing the black Ferrari, Jesse turned onto a small gravel path that wound around the hill and connected to the road. He drove past the driveway leading to his house and we saw that a bunch of cars had arrived. People were climbing out and heading inside, but I saw Cord pause when he caught sight of us. He lifted his hand in a wave as we shot past.

  Jesse let out a deep breath once we were out of their sight.

  Taking a deep shuddering breath, I ignored the knots in my stomach. I couldn’t get even more involved with him that I was and even that level was alarming to me. Pressing a hand over my stomach, I tried to will all the tension away. My time with Jesse was just that, time with Jesse. I didn’t care about any after party or if that would stop my time with him.

  A nagging voice whispered in my head, “Liar.”

  “Where’s this Feast?” My voice hitched on a note as I needed to distract myself.

  Jesse glanced over with a small frown. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” I just needed to clear my throat again. That was it. “So where is this at?” My chest lifted in a deep silent breath and prayed it would calm my stomach down.

  “At Grace Park.”

  “Oh.” Never heard of it. “That’s nice.”

  Jesse grinned at me. “Yeah, it is. It was a smart move on their part. The back part is surrounded by trees and it’s on the river. I used to go there for basketball. Some local guys get together for a friendly game every Sunday.”

  “You don’t go there anymore?” I frowned, hearing a twinge of regret from him.

  He shrugged. “The friendly stuff is just that, friendly. Coach put a stop to it when he found out, said we could get hurt.”

  “We?”

  “Cord played with me.”

  Now I was experiencing a twinge of regret, for him. “You and Cord are close now?”He shrugged again. “Close as two guy friends can get.”

  I kept frowning to myself.

  “He’s not Ethan, Alex.”

  I jerked my head in a nod. I knew that. No one could take Ethan’s spot, but it felt good hearing that from him.

  “Okay. Here we are.” Jesse pulled onto a small road. Trees were lined on both sides and it went up a hill to a clearing with playground equipment and basketball courts. He paused the car by them. “I’m going to park on the other side of the hill. The bands should be set up in the back section so wait for me. Luke said it was a small thing, but with these guys you never know. Their drummer sometimes goes on a tweeting spree. They had three hundred show up for a private gig one time.”

  I nodded and got out. As I did, I could hear music in the distance, but found a bench to wait for Jesse. It wasn’t long until I heard giggling.

  I knew those giggles.

  Sick dread speared me and I turned around.

  Marissa and Sarah Shastaine were walking towards me. When they saw me, both faltered with mixed expressions. Marissa’s eyes rounded while Sarah’s narrowed to slits. A sneer came over her and her hands shot to her hips. She lifted her chin as if to look down her nose at me, which is exactly what she was always the best at doing. “What are you doing here?”

  Marissa sent her a quick glare before she moved towards me. “Hi. I left a note for brunch. You didn’t get it?”

  Sarah followed her until both stood closer to me. She snorted, “Yeah, right. Why do you even care, Marissa? This one’s a freak now. She became a freak last summer and she’s always going to stay a freak.”

  Jesse’s ex-girlfriend had never been my fan, but I wasn’t used to the venom that she sent my way now. “You’re drunk.”

  Her hands flew up and flattened together in a praying motion. She lifted her arms to the sky before she nearly fell over, but she blasted out, “Hallelujah. The girl is not dumb. Besides,” an extra sheen of hostility came to her, “like you can sit there and judge me. You were wasted last night. You couldn’t even stand. And great friends, by the way. Real class act, running off after a fight and leaving you there all alone.”

  I grinned at her. “I almost wish they were here because Hannah would rip into you for that.” I glanced at Marissa, who seemed annoyed at her friend. “They came back for me but couldn’t find me at the party.”

  She jerked her gaze to me and put on an expressionless mask. The annoyance was gone. She even tried to smile nicely at me. “I know. I mean, I don’t know. But—” Sarah gasped beside her and she sent her another scathing look from the corner of her eye.

  Sarah grabbed onto her arm. “That’s Jesse over there. I’m going to go say hi.”

  Before Marissa could comment, she scampered down the hill and after his disappearing figure.

  I glared at him. Bastard. I knew he came up, saw Sarah, and decided to avoid the entire scene.

  “Uh.” Marissa chuckled to herself. “Imagine that. You show up and minutes later Jesse Hunt’s in the background.”

  I turned back. She knew.

  She smirked
at me. “You guys are together again?”

  “Were we before?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. Yeah, I think you were. Angie hated it.”

  I know. My heart sunk to my stomach. I remembered how much she hated that I was with Jesse. “She just didn’t want me hurt.”A dark look stopped any other words from spilling. Marissa shook her head. “I cannot believe that you’re defending her, after what she did to you.”

  I shook my head. Nope. I wasn’t going to do this. “I’m going to go.” The tornado was back in me and it was picking up speed. I could not be here, not with her and definitely not with Jesse’s ex-girlfriend so close to prey on him.

  “Okay. Stop.” She grabbed my hand. I pulled it away and started after Jesse, towards the music. “Please, stop. Alex. Come on. I really do want to talk to you.”

  “Why?” I rounded on her, a strangled note in my voice.

  She braked and her eyebrows shot up. From my intensity, she fell back, then her eyebrows bunched together and a determined look came over. Her shoulders squared back and her chin steadied itself before she nodded. “Okay. I get it. I messed up as a friend. I ditched you—”

  “Twice.”

  Silence fell between us like a heavy blanket. It was suffocating and sweltering. I wanted to fold underneath it and disappear into the ground. I forced myself to keep calm. My insides were twisting and turning, but I drew in a deep breath and hoped it would calm the chaos down.

  “Okay.” Her voice had dropped to a soft whisper. “And I’m sorry for both of those times.”

  I shook my head. This wasn’t even right. Marissa had dumped our friendship, but she hadn’t been the one who ran like I had grown horns. That’d been Angie. A tremor went through me as I remembered that last day. They had come to say goodbye. Justin had always been there, alongside his girlfriend, but he had stayed in his truck that day. He couldn’t even muster a goodbye in person. Angie hadn’t taken two steps inside my house. She seemed ready to crap her pants at an invitation from me.

  Their goodbyes had lasted five minutes. Five minutes from the two that I had considered as close to my family as I could get.

  “Stop, Marissa.”

  I wasn’t going to hang my head in shame. I had done nothing wrong, but I knew she was getting ready to unburden her soul and that wasn’t right. Marissa had just gone away. That was all she had done. She’d been my best friend. She dumped me when she fought with Angie, and then she apologized at a party towards the end of the school year. That’d been it. Nothing more from the second person I considered a best friend all my life.

  “What is it?”

  “Just stop. You don’t have to do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “Apologize. That’s what you’re doing, isn’t it?” A bitter taste was in my mouth and I couldn’t get rid of it.

  Her lips clamped shut and she gazed at me. Her eyes were wide and they barely blinked. I felt her studying me, slipping inside how Jesse did at times. It was an uncomfortable feeling and one I wanted to shed, like a second skin. I wanted it off me.

  “Stop,” I snapped this time.

  She blinked. Once. Then she murmured, “You think I’m apologizing for ditching you, don’t you?”

  “Aren’t you?”

  One shake of the head.

  My heart dropped. There was so much more in her gaze and my chest swelled. I didn’t know if I was ready for whatever else she was going to say.

  The wind shifted. It grazed against my cheeks, but there was moisture on them as well. I glanced up idly, had it started raining? There were no drops in the sky.

  She started out, cautious at first, “I knew what was going on last year.”

  My heart plunged all the way to my feet now. She knew. I hadn’t thought anyone knew.

  “I worked in the counselor’s office as a teacher’s assistant.” At my look, she explained, “I never said anything. I didn’t want you guys to make fun of me or god forbid, be proud of me. I know. I know. Stupid of me, but I know you and Angie thought I was only some party hussy who could hold her own. I wasn’t. I was messed up. I know that much, but I wanted more.”

  She’d gone after Jesse. She slept with Cord instead. Then she dated Eric, only to cheat on him with Cord. Again.

  She was right about some of it.

  I tucked all that away. That wasn’t the same girl in front of me. Marissa had changed. Sarah had always seemed perfect and now she was another catty bitch. Even Cord changed.

  I had changed.

  Did nothing stay the same?

  “Look,” Marissa kept going. “I was unhappy last year and I was jealous.”

  “Jealous?”

  “Of you and Angie. You two are so close—you two were so close. I was left out all the time. I know Angie called me a slut behind my back. She said it to my face all the time. I messed up. I went after Jesse when I knew you two had a thing. And then Eric was going to ask you out and I got to him first. Then I became friends with Sarah.” She waved in her direction. “And look how she’s turned out.”

  I frowned. “Yeah, she seemed so perfect last year. Now she’s…”

  Marissa grinned. “Vapid? Shallow? Insecure? Because she’s all three of them. I think she thought if she stayed nice and perfect last year then Jesse would come back.”

  I shifted on my feet and shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. Turning away, I muttered, “Yeah, well, they dated for three years.”

  “Three years that he hated her.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  She gave me an incredulous look. “Come on, Alex. You had to have known. I thought you always did and it hurt my feelings. I could never figure out what I’d done so you wouldn’t confide in me, then last year I stopped caring. I stopped caring about a lot of stuff.”

  Scratching at the back of my head, a foreboding sensation settled in the middle of my shoulders. It wouldn’t go away as I tried to figure out what she was talking about.

  “Jesse.” Her head inclined a notch. “Are you serious?”

  What?

  “He’s liked you since forever. You never knew?”

  “He was with Sarah. Three years, Marissa. He was with her for three years.”

  “Yeah, but he didn’t want to be.” She lamented, “Okay, he might’ve liked her in the beginning, but he didn’t for a while after. I heard them fighting one time.”

  “Sarah and Jesse?”

  “Ethan and Jesse.”

  This was the second person to talk about a dispute between my brother and his best friend. It sent daggers through me when Barbie had first said it and it sent daggers through me again. Ice-cold daggers with tips of steel. I didn’t like hearing about any discord between the two and I really didn’t like hearing that my best friend had known. She hadn’t said a word.

  My lips were stiff as I demanded, “What are you talking about?”

  “Jesse wanted to be with you. Your brother told him to stay away.”

  He’d said the same thing to me, but there was a missing piece. I knew it. It was nagging me from the back of my mind. The puzzle wasn’t complete and I was determined to figure it out. With my lips pressed together, I gave her a pointed look. “Thanks for telling me.”

  She flushed. “I’m sorry. Again. I was jealous.” She rolled her eyes. “He told Ethan he wanted to break up with Sarah and be with you, but your brother wasn’t having it. He threatened Jesse that if he broke up with Sarah, then he’d say something horrible to you. He was going to turn you against him.” Her laugh was hollow. “Your brother was hardcore, huh?”

  Not the Ethan I knew.

  Pain tingled at the tips of my fingers and toes. It was slowly working its way through me, all the way to send my heart into a tailspin.
<
br />   The brother I knew would’ve never kept me from someone I loved.

  Oh shit.

  I drew in another shuddering breath.

  I had loved Jesse then.

  Had I stopped when he hadn’t returned my calls? Because I didn’t still love him. I couldn’t.

  “You okay?”

  I jerked my head in a nod. “Yeah.”

  She wasn’t convinced.

  “Look,” edging closer to me, Marissa glanced over her shoulder. “I know Jesse’s going to ditch her soon and she’s going to come back. I won’t say anything. I know you two were secretive before and I’m figuring you are now since you didn’t tell us where his house was.” She bit her lip and kicked at some dirt before her head came back up. “It’s no secret. She wanted to come down because she’s still obsessed with getting Jesse back. She’s dropped the perfect act. She’s hardcore, like your brother.”

  Anger flared in me. Ethan wasn’t hardcore. She must’ve heard wrong.

  “I’ve gone through a lot of my issues and I have a lot to say to you. I’m sorry about your parents. I knew what they were doing to you.”

  Panic threatened me.

  “I should’ve said something or done something, but I didn’t. I was a shitty friend to you, no matter what you think. I wasn’t loyal and I didn’t stand up for you.” Her frown deepened when she saw Sarah in the distance. “I hate feeling rushed. I wished you had met me for brunch. Listen, don’t trust Sarah. Don’t trust Angie.”

  Angie? Her name was a lightning bolt. “What are you talking about?”

  “Angie’s going to contact you.”

  I sensed her withdrawal. Sarah was almost upon us and this new Marissa would disappear again. My hand latched onto her arm. “Did she tell you that?”

  Startled, she looked up from my hand to my face. I felt the blood drain from me and knew she was seeing a ghost. Good. I was starting to feel like one again. She shook her head. “No, but I know Angie. She’ll take a semester off, see me at some party at Christmas, and I’ll tell her that I’ve seen you. She’ll hate that. She’s going to contact you, just for her conscience probably. She’ll think she’s the bad friend and she’ll hate that.” A smug grin came over her. “On second thought, maybe I won’t say anything at all. I like thinking of her as the bad friend.”