Degrees of Control

by Eve Dangerfield

  But she must have had some good karma stored up because Dale took a long hard look at James, probably considered his non-existent health insurance, and fled.

  “Jesus Christ.” James snorted. He seized Charlie’s hand and stroked it between his callused palms. “I’m sorry about that, Charlotte, are you okay?”

  “Uhh, yeah?” she squeaked.

  There was a veritable whirlwind of emotions coursing through her. Resentment warring with admiration, and it made her stomach crawl to think about it, lust. She wasn’t the type of girl to get all starry-eyed over violence, but there was no denying the tight, fluttering feeling in her chest. Across the cafe a woman with dreads pointed at James’ muscular back and fanned herself. Charlie’s face heated.

  I know how you feel, lady. I just wish I could joke about it.

  She considered whether to scold him, thank him or to bend over the table and pull down her panties when her phone buzzed on the table. She’d assumed Dale would make contact from a safer location, but this was pathetic even by his standards. It was a text.

  Looks like I was right about you, wasn’t I, ‘Charlotte.’

  Charlie rolled her eyes. Right about what? Her inability to be faithful to him two months after they’d broken up? What a knob. Her phone rang. Great, now she’d have to get a new number, maybe tomorrow—

  “That him?”

  Fuck. She’d forgotten about James. Charlie tried to contort her features into a more reasonable expression but it was too late. With lightning reflexes, James plucked her phone from her paralyzed fingers.

  “Charlie?”

  “No, asshole, it’s the man you just ran away from. Come near Charlotte again and I’ll break your fuckin’ arm.”

  James’ voice was cold as nitrogen. Without waiting for a response, he hung up.

  Charlie exhaled. “Well, that was manly.”

  James glared at the door, as though willing Dale to come back so he could punch him in the throat.

  “Anything’s manlier than scurrying round the corner to scare women on the phone.”

  “He was just trying to get a reaction, you don’t need to worry about me.”

  James seized her hand once more and looked deep, deep into Charlie’s eyes. The whole world tilted on its axis.

  “He did hurt you, didn’t he?” James asked. “I could see it in his smug fucking face.”

  Charlie flushed, still so uncomfortable with the idea of rescue, of one man saving her from another. “He’s gone now. I told him if he tries to contact me again I’ll go to the police.”

  James leaned even closer. “I know you’re strong, Charlotte, I know you could have gotten rid of him on your own and I know you’re not a fan of my caveman shit…” He grimaced. “But I let someone insult you in front of me once and it’s not ever happening again. Guys like your ex need to be told in no fuckin’ uncertain terms that treating a girl that way is gonna get them a hospital bed.” He stared at her, an unblinking intense look that she couldn’t read and held her hand tighter. Charlie swallowed.

  What would it be like to have you? To really be able to call you my lover? My boyfriend?

  “I know between the break-in and Dale, this looks bad, but I promise I usually don’t have these kinds of issues. I lead a quiet yoga-filled life where men never bother me.”

  James smiled, looking down at their entwined fingers. “Unless you want them to.”“Exactly.”

  They sat in silence for a while. Charlie assumed the waitresses were too busy gossiping about the almost-fight to come and take their order. It didn’t matter, she wasn’t hungry. “James?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why did you send me all that stuff today?”

  James smiled at the table top. “Couldn’t stand the thought of you upset. That look on your face when I left, it almost slayed me, Blue-Eyes.” He exhaled. “I don’t know what I’m doing around you. You’re all I can think about.”

  “You’re all I think can about too.”

  He smiled at her, his beautiful heartbreaking smile. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, uh—I’m flying home to Texas this weekend.” James tapped her finger lightly. “It’s my brother’s ten-year wedding anniversary. But maybe when I get back to Minneapolis we can talk about…maybe working something out?”

  She smiled at him. She could only smile at him. “Of course.”

  Suddenly, the last thing Charlie wanted was to be sitting in a café discussing the break-in or the flowers she’d re-gifted to a pregnant colleague. She wanted to be alone with James. Charlie finished the last of her tea in one go. “Want to come see my studio?”

  Chapter 16

  For the second time in his life, James walked Charlotte from the café to her yoga studio, but this time he held her hand. It was soft and cool, small enough that he could easily crush it if he wasn’t careful.

  He wanted so badly to be careful.

  After he left her place he’d been a mess, forgetting shit, zoning out all over the place. He knew he must have come across like Charles Manson asking her to move in, then pulling away for no reason, and he couldn’t believe she hadn’t thrown her frypan at his head. As the day went on he was so useless his CFO had all but forced him to the nearest bar and poured alcohol down his throat. Then, after four whiskeys David straight up asked if he had cancer. His boss thought “fatal disease” was more likely than “fucked-up over a girl.” Somehow, he didn’t think that assumption would surprise Charlotte at all.

  James didn’t have many memories of his old man, he’d been gone for most of his childhood, working or with his latest girlfriend. Occasionally showing up at games and graduations with gifts. As a kid he’d always resented Bob Hunter’s cash-based approach to parenting, but today he’d felt sympathy for the old man. In the face of his own asshole behavior, trying to buy Charlotte’s forgiveness had been the only thing he could think of. When she finally agreed to see him, he’d felt like muscle relaxants had been injected into his forehead, relaxing every muscle on the way down. Then the shit with her ex went down…James had felt the occasional stab of jealousy before, but seeing that asshole hassle Charlotte made some new breed of protectiveness burn so hot it scared him. Even now he was debating reasons why he couldn’t call a cop friend, find out where the prick lived and kneecap him.

  I’ve got no idea what I’m doing with her, none at all.

  So he clasped Charlotte’s hand gently and let her lead him up the street. He signed himself over to whatever she wanted. He could protect her, buy her things, offer her his apartment and his body, but when it came to emotional shit he was a five-year-old in a thirty-year-old man’s body.

  Not five years old, fourteen, asshole. Don’t you remember being fourteen and getting crushed out over girls? Feeling this sick, spinning feeling? Remember what happened next? Remember? Remember?

  James gripped Charlotte’s hand tighter.

  They reached her studio and Charlotte unlocked the door and led him up a flight of stairs. It wasn’t covered in rainbow scarves and cheesy motivational posters as he expected. The entire place was green and white, relaxing in some undefinable way. Charlotte gestured him past the reception and took off her shoes, indicating he should do the same. Barefoot, she led him into what he assumed was the main classroom. It was dimly-lit with a woven carpet and floor to ceiling windows.

  “Good view,” he commented.

  Charlotte smiled. “It’s one of the best studios in the city. I got lucky working here.”

  They got lucky having you. I got lucky having you.

  His eyes were drawn to a flier for beginner classes pinned near the door. It had a picture of Charlotte on it. She was doing a complicated handstand, one foot almost to her forehead. He stepped back, trying to conceal how impressed he was.

  Charlotte smiled. “I asked them not to use that one. It sends a bad message to the people who can barely touch their toes.”

  He could see why the studio chose it. She looked serene and
beautiful, her dark hair falling around her shoulders. The image of focus.

  “It must be something, having that kind of control.”

  She smiled at him, her eyes bright in the light of the streetlamps outside. “It’s good, but sometimes it’s fun not having control.”

  James wanted to smile but couldn’t quite manage it. This place was getting to him, it was almost too quiet. He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears. “Maybe one of these days I’ll take a class, Blue-Eyes.”

  Charlotte half-smiled. Obviously she knew as well as he did that that day would never come. James seized her hand once more. “Or maybe you can finally give me that private lesson. Show me all the ways your body bends.”

  Charlotte flushed. “We can try, but I warn you, having sex upside down isn’t as fun as people think. There’s a reason missionary is standard and not the inverted crab…”

  He kissed her before she could say another word about the sex she hadn’t had with him. Their mouths met and James felt his whole terrible day go rolling off his back. She was here and she wanted him. That he understood. He stepped back and tugged at her T-shirt. Charlotte wet her lips. “I’m not wearing anything nice.”

  “I don’t give a fuck.” The only thing James wanted was to be touching as much of her bare skin as possible. She let him take off her top and pull her sports bra away from her body. Then James fell to his knees, running his hands across her thighs as he drew her nipples into his mouth.

  Charlotte tugged against the shoulders of his T-shirt, and with a pang of irritation at having to leave her breasts he tugged the offending material over his head, pausing to watch the blank fascination that overtook her when she looked at his chest. He rose, lifting her in his arms, bringing her mouth to his. Charlotte wound her talented body around his and stroked her hips against him, spandex caressing denim until they were gripping each other’s hair and moaning into each other’s mouths. All he could hear were the faintest sounds of cars passing on the street below and their breathing, hers smooth, his harsh. He cupped a palm between her legs, the swell of her pussy obvious even through her leggings.

  “Take off your clothes,” he muttered.

  James stripped off his jeans and underwear while Charlotte hopped on one leg, tugging down her yoga pants and a pair of plain pink cotton panties. They cupped her ass so sweetly that it almost hurt him to look at it.

  How could I have told her I hated her underwear? How did I ever look at Charlotte and see something I didn’t like?

  In the glow of the streetlights they stood, observing each other like strangers. Charlotte’s hair was ink-black and her eyes as deep as pools, some darker version of the fairy princess. He reached for her and his hands were shaking for some reason. She moved toward him, embracing him like a long lost love, and then they were on the floor, his bare cock braced against her pussy, begging for entrance. He didn’t want anything rough tonight, he just wanted to touch her, be with her.

  “Now, James. Please?”

  Protection. He looked around for his jeans and then swore as he remembered.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m out of condoms.”

  Charlie closed her eyes. “Oh God, it’s always when you need them the most.”

  He kissed the firm skin of her stomach. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m still gonna make you feel good.”

  Charlotte moaned. “James.”

  “Let me do this, sweetheart.” Let me make up for what an asshole I’ve been.

  With a little nudge Charlotte parted her legs enough for him to lick between them. Everything was so plumped up and swollen, he almost had to force his tongue between her folds. He lapped at her, letting her taste fill his mouth. Charlotte gripped his hair so tight his scalp hurt. He liked it, being handled by her, serving her. Her hips tilted forward, pressing more of her pussy against his mouth and he licked. She jerked away and James looked up in surprise.

  “Have you been with anyone else since we met?”

  He closed his eyes and thought back. Holy fuck, I haven’t. Must be some kind of fuckin’ record. He shook his head.

  Charlottes gaze never wavered from his. “Then take me. I need you inside me.”

  “Darlin’, you don’t have to…”

  She knelt down in front of him. “Not have to. Need to.”

  James knew Charlotte was on the pill and he’d seen her blood test with his own eyes, but…But what? Why wasn’t he leaping at the chance?

  Because you’ve only ever fucked one woman bare and we all remember how that turned out. James shook his head. That was the last thing he ever wanted to think about. Especially when he was with Charlotte. You’ll have to tell her eventually. She already knows something’s wrong with you and if she wants to be your girlfri—

  Just the word alone almost made him choke. “Darlin’, this isn’t smart.”

  Charlotte’s small, cool hand touched the side of his face and his mind went quiet.

  “I trust you,” she whispered, kissing him lightly on the mouth. “I trust you, James.”

  He’d done little to prove he deserved her trust, but God, he wanted it so badly. She pushed him onto his back and he let her, kissing her breasts as they went over. He felt her wet heat kiss the top of his dick and he moaned.

  “I swear, we don’t have to do this, baby.” He searched her eyes for reservation. There was none. Pushing aside any last doubts, James flexed his hips and slid himself inside her hot, bare cunt.

  Oh my fucking God.

  He wanted to die. He wanted to live and die in Charlotte’s pussy. She was warmer and tighter than anything he’d ever imagined, her wetness caressing him in ways he didn’t understand. He wanted to say something sappy, maybe dedicate his life to worshiping her pussy, but instead, he pressed his thumb against her swollen clit and watched her sigh like an angel.

  Charlotte moved slowly, so slowly it was torture. He twisted beneath her, a slave to the lush, sucking pulse of her cunt. He reached up to turn her onto her back but her hands pushed gently on his shoulders.

  “Stay. Finish with me like this.”

  She moved against him in short sweet strokes, her hair tumbling around her shoulders, the words he couldn’t say before tumbled out. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Charlotte. I love this, I love your cunt.”

  Her response was to reach down and kiss him, pressing her entire body along his chest and bathing him in her scent. He sank back into the floor, dissolving into pure sensation.

  What they were doing was a million miles from fucking. That whiskey-warm feeling he’d gotten from taking her under the covers in her bedroom was amplified a thousand-fold. Every pressure point in his body from his jaw to his toes tingled. Their pubic hair kissed; dark on blond, rubbing and stroking and searching for something. This felt huge, bigger than just him and her. James opened his mouth to ask Charlotte if she felt it too, but the blazing look in her eyes was all the answer he needed. They were one thing, joining together in the dark. She was going to come. James grazed his thumb across her clit, delaying his own pleasure by a thread to watch her eyes close and her nipples flush. She was so beautiful riding him. So beautiful all the time. Climax surged up his shaft and the oblivion he’d always sought from sex engulfed him, body and soul. He kissed her as he came, empty and fulfilled at once, unsure of anything but completely content to let it happen.

  Afterward, they dressed in silence. There was nothing to say, no words that wouldn’t belittle what had just happened. They turned out the lights, locked the studio doors and left.

  Chapter 17

  Charlie ducked through the crowd at the bar, fielding unwelcome advances with a friendly smile, until she reached the couches Sophia was guarding.

  Sophia swept a hand through the air in a wide arch. “Sit with me, my little Australian.”

  It was the early hours of the morning and most of the softball team had already left the club but Sophia and Hayley were determined to party on. Thanks to the complimentary champagne, everyone
at the bar except herself was pretty damn drunk. Not that Charlie minded, she loved dancing and with James out of town it was a good distraction from all the sex she wasn’t having. She kissed Sophia on the top of her drunken head and sat down between her and Jordan. Together they watched Hayley and a very determined redhead grind against one another on the dance floor. After a couple of songs Hayley bolted over to their area, fanning herself rapidly.

  “Did you see my fucking man? What a babe. He’s gone to get us shots.”

  Jordan smirked. “Redheads shouldn’t screw redheads. Everyone’ll think you’re brother and sister.”

  Charlie laughed. “That’s not true, everyone knows redheads need to stick together. They’re a dying breed, they need to multiply.”

  Hayley smirked. “Speaking of multiplying, how’s your ongoing southern fuckfest, Charlotte Bell?”

  Everyone’s eyes locked on her and she squirmed with embarrassment. “It’s going well. That’s all you need to know.”

  “Charlie’s a witch,” Sophia declared. “She’s put a spell on my slutty cousin with her vagina and now he’s going to marry her forever.”

  Charlie shot Sophia a disapproving look. “No marriage talk. Or witchcraft talk. It’s sexist.”

  Sophia sucked her straw innocently.

  “But you’ve got James locked down, right?” Jordan asked. “If you’re a couple can you like…get me a photo of his dick?”

  Charlie rolled her eyes. Drunk people. “James and I aren’t together. We’re going to talk about it when he gets back from Texas and even if we do get together, I think the answer to your dick-pic question will still be no.”

  Sophia snorted. “Ladies, ladies, ladies, I asked Charlie before if she loved James and she was all ‘I don’t know, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before’.”

  Hayley and Jordan led a chorus of “Ooooooooohs.”

  “I told you that in confidence,”

  Jordan laughed. “Well, congratulations. If anyone had the magic pixie dust to tether James Hunter’s famous penis, it’s you.”