#1 Rival

by Gephart, T

  I didn’t get the chance to say anyone’s name, my body exploding as I came in a rush. Our eyes connected as he pumped into me again and again, his finish coming soon after mine, filling me with his load while his hands stayed wrapped around my legs.

  “Fuck.” He shook his head as he lowered my legs and pulled out slowly. “I’m not wearing a condom.”

  Ohhhhhhhhh.

  Shit.

  It seemed me not thinking clearly wasn’t restricted to just having sex while there were unresolved issues. No, I had to have unprotected sex while there were unresolved issues.

  No wonder it felt different.

  “Okay, okay, let’s not panic,” I said, not taking my own advice and slightly panicking. “I’m on the pill, chances of pregnancy are slim.” Which wasn’t my only concern, to be honest.

  Like he could read my mind, he stilled, his eyes connecting with mine. “I’m safe, Lauren, I swear.”

  The tension eased out of my body, hearing the words I hoped he would say. “Me too,” I answered, even though he hadn’t asked.

  “Give me a second to clean up.” He pushed off his knees, giving me the perfect view of his perfect body as he got up and walked to my bathroom. He came back a few moments later with a towel.

  I’d always been too careful to have sex without a condom. Scared of STDs or an unwanted pregnancy—it was something I’d never even considered. I didn’t realize it would feel so different—better, like we were more connected.

  Roman carefully cleaned between my legs, leaning down and kissing my thighs gently as he did it. “I’m sorry, Lauren. I didn’t plan that. Any of that.”

  “Out of everything you could have apologized for, that was not your fault.” I shook my head. “If anything, it was probably mine.”

  He’d tried to slow down, but that wasn’t what I’d wanted. I needed to feel him more than I wanted to think about what we were doing.

  “Let’s just take shared responsibility.” He dropped the towel, grabbed the comforter that lay on the back of the couch and wrapped it around me. “I am sorry though,” his lips pressed against my forehead, “about everything.”

  My fingers ran up his forearm. “You were—”

  “Evil, horrible, a complete fucking dick?” He cut me off. “Take your pick, all of them accurate. But when you left, for some reason I panicked.” He situated himself beside me, his hands locking onto mine. “It was weird, at first I was just waiting for you to come back. But the longer you were gone, the more I was left to draw my own conclusions. That the wedding had freaked you out, and you started to have second thoughts about us. About me.”

  “I sort of did, I threw up,” I confessed, knowing that the initial reason I’d left was because I had been freaked out. Just not for the reasons he thought.

  He tilted his head, lowering his gaze to meet mine. “You threw up because you didn’t want to be with me?”

  “No, because I did want to be with you, and I wasn’t sure you wanted me.”

  He’d been so honest that I needed to be too. And more importantly, I wanted to be, finally giving myself permission to tell him exactly what I felt.

  His arm circled my shoulders, bringing me in closer to him as he kissed me gently on my forehead. “The thought of losing you drove me so far insane, I figured it was easier to push you away. I thought it would hurt less if I walked away on my terms, but it was a million times worse knowing I hurt you. That shit I said about Chase?” He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. “Unforgiveable. And I hate that I said it even though I knew there was no way it could be true. Fuck. If I could take back every single word I said to you that night, I would. In a heartbeat, Lauren, especially the part where I said I didn’t care.”

  “So, what are we doing here?” I angled my chin, allowing my lips to brush against his. “Are we making up?”

  “God, I hope so,” he smirked as he kissed me back. “If not, then let’s just keep doing it, anyway.”

  I unwrapped the comforter from my body, extending it so it covered us both. His hands immediately moved to my skin as his lips traveled up my collarbone.

  My finger jabbed him in the ribs, not enough to hurt but enough to get his attention. “Are you going to quit acting like a jealous asshole?”

  “Newsflash, Harper. I am a jealous asshole.” He laughed against my skin. “But I’ll be your jealous asshole.”

  I wanted that, to be his and for him to be mine. Even though I knew we’d still fight. God, I planned on it—sex after an argument with Roman was out of this world amazing.

  My finger tapped my chin, deep in thought. “I guess I wouldn’t know what to do with you if you suddenly turned nice.”

  “I may not suddenly turn nice, but I will make it up to you. I want this to work, Lauren.” His fingers ghosted against my skin with no humor in his voice. “I want to be with you and I’ll go through whatever hell you think I deserve to convince you of that.”

  “The box,” I said suddenly, remembering the package I’d caught him leaving at the door when I arrived. It was the reason he’d been at my apartment and I still didn’t know what was in it. “What’s in it?”

  It hadn’t been important when I was pulling him through my doorway, trying to maul him. At that point I wasn’t interested in what it was, which was why we shoved it to the side before we walked in. But now I was curious.

  “So, I tell you I want to be in a relationship and you want to know what is in the box?” He chuckled, kissing my shoulder. “Way to kill my ego, Harper. I guess I had that coming.”

  “I’m sorry.” I shook my head, realizing how it must have sounded. “I got distracted.” I rested my head against his shoulder. “I thought we’d already decided we were making up, or at least that’s what we are calling it until you piss me off again.”

  His finger tapped my nose as he untangled himself from me and the comforter and stood up. “Wait here and we’ll open it together.”

  He picked up the discarded towel, wrapping it around his waist before opening the door and collecting the box that had been left outside.

  “I didn’t think I’d be sitting beside you when you opened it.” He smiled, sinking to his knees in front of me. “But I’m really glad I am.”

  My fingers fumbled with the plain brown box as a mix of nervous and excited energy buzzed through my body. All his gifts had been so thoughtful and observant, the whole time he’d been paying such close attention.

  “Oh my God.” My hand flew up to my mouth as I pulled out a beautiful red heart-shaped clock that looked identical to the one given to the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. And unsurprisingly there was a note attached.

  I took your advice, went to see the Wizard and asked him for a heart.

  Turns out I’ve had one this whole time, but I’d already given it to you.

  I’m sorry.

  Roman x

  PS It’s yours even if you don’t want it.

  PPS. I also have courage, so I need to tell you I love you.

  PPPS Even more shocking is I have a brain too, which means I know exactly what I lost. And I’ll never stop trying to get it back.

  I held the heart-shaped clock to my ear, my eyes starting to mist. “It ticks.” The words got lost in a sob.

  “Of course it ticks.” He took my chin in his hands and kissed my lips gently. “There’s no point having a heart if it doesn’t.”

  I kissed him back, holding tightly to the ornate chain of my new favorite thing as I wrapped my arms around him.

  “I love it and I love you.”

  MORGAN CAME HOME EVENTUALLY AND found Roman in my bed.

  Which was funny because that’s where I was too even though I usually would have been still at work when she got home. Even more amusing is that she wasn’t all that surprised.

  She did glare at him and told him if he hurt me again she’d kill him and make it look like natural causes. And that we’d already drafted his brother Eric for body disposal, which attracted a few questions that ne
eded to be answered.

  As Eric had said when he came to my apartment, Roman hadn’t asked him to speak to me, or known about his visit.

  He wasn’t too pleased about it either. Something about him not needing anyone else fighting his battles, blah, blah, blah. I designated it something he needed to sort out with his brother. There were five of them, I’m sure they were all well versed in sibling squabbles.

  And Morgan was finally going to go out with Roman, only it wasn’t for reconnaissance, but because I wanted them to get to know each other better. She didn’t even mind driving herself there, her eyes widening when she got a look at his Ferrari.

  “Now that I know you’re related, I totally see the resemblance.” Morgan tilted her head as she looked at Roman. “Do all of you look the same?” The Larsson connection left unspoken because we were in public.

  “Dave and Nick have darker hair and eyes, but our younger brother, Alex, looks more like us.” He shrugged with a goofy smile. “I don’t really think about it that much.”

  My hand cupped his, gently rubbing it. “Morgan is just interested in the science of it all.” I tried to hide my grin. “What are the chances that all the members of the family were so genetically blessed?”

  “I wonder if there’s a balance to all of that?” Morgan’s hand rested on her chin, her brow knitting in thought. “If there is a large family of brothers somewhere else in world who are hideously unattractive.”

  The grin I was trying to hide could no longer be contained. “I bet they hate you all too. You would be their nemeses.”

  “You’re enjoying this too much, Harper.” He shook his head before turning his attention to Morgan. “And I assumed someone from a medical background wouldn’t encourage her.”

  “I’m her sister first, and nurse second.” Morgan grinned. “How adverse are you to me collecting your DNA and sending it away for testing?”

  We all laughed, even Roman who was taking the joking about his family remarkably well. I guess he’d had lots of practice through the years, and the more I thought about it, the more sense changing his last name made.

  “No DNA testing.” My fingers laced with his, suddenly feeling protective. “The science will have to suffer without it.”

  Morgan looked at us with genuine happiness and smiled. “So are you guys going to tell your boss you’re dating? Isn’t it against company policy or something like that?”

  I groaned knowing as much as I didn’t want to, we were probably going to have to tell Daniel. “Technically it’s allowed but discouraged.”

  “Which translates into he can’t fire us but he won’t like it,” Roman added.

  Taking into account ideal situations, ours was far from it.

  When we’d been having sex with no plans for future commitment, there had been no reason to say anything. Why bother rocking the boat for something that would probably fizzle in a couple of months. At least that was what I had assumed. Of course, I hadn’t planned on developing feelings for him, or more to the point, the feelings I already had, growing into something more.

  And while our rivalry had been real—both of us working harder when pushed by the other—the hatred, wasn’t.

  “We’ll tell him on Monday,” I decided, not wanting to hide it anymore. “Like you said, he can’t fire us and we can keep it professional. We both owe Daniel a lot and I don’t want to lie to him.”

  Roman nodded, giving my hand a squeeze. “You’re right, first thing at our Monday meeting.”

  There had been so many stupid secrets throughout our relationship, I didn’t want there to be anymore. Especially not now when we’d finally seemed on track.

  Watching the interaction between Morgan and Roman at lunch just made me fall in love with him a little more. He was so at ease with her, he didn’t try to impress her or pretend she didn’t matter. And she was exactly the same way with him.

  Where I’d been concerned about being in a relationship because it meant spending time with someone, now I had no desire not to be with him. I wanted the same things I’d wanted last month, and the month before that, but now I wanted to share them with him.

  After lunch was over, we said goodbye to Morgan, and spent rest of the weekend at Roman’s apartment. The two of us were in a bubble that would undoubtedly burst on Monday when we started telling people, and I wanted to stay inside of it as long as I could.

  “I love you.” He kissed my forehead, my skin still damp from making love.

  It hadn’t been sex. Roman had been slow and deliberate, taking his time as he moved inside of me. And I loved it.

  My fingers traced the curves of his chest as I tilted my head to look at him. “I love you too.”

  He laughed, which was one of my favorite sounds, his eyes lighting up as they focused on me. “What’s on your mind, Lauren?”

  I’d always assumed he’d never paid attention to me, but I’d been wrong. He knew so much more than I’d ever noticed. What pizza I liked, what I liked to drink, that I didn’t like flowers, my obsession with writing things on a whiteboard. Months—things that he’d seen over months, and he’d stored them away in a Lauren bank that I never knew existed.

  “The first day you met me.” I bit my lip, needing to know the whole truth. “When I introduced myself and tried to be friends, why were you so . . . cold?”

  It had been so startling, to see a man who looked so aesthetically beautiful seem to have such hardness underneath. And it wasn’t that I wasn’t used to people being rude or treating me like I didn’t belong, the law profession was filled with dicks. But he was different, like his frostiness was reserved just for me.

  He took a deep breath and sighed, a smile creeping across his mouth. “Because I knew I was in trouble. I can deal with a beautiful woman or a sexy woman, or someone who is smart or funny. Hell, as much as you thought I was some kind of deviant, I had no problem being professional and keeping it in my pants. But you.” He shook his head. “You were everything. Beautiful, sexy, smart, driven, funny, and a brilliant lawyer—I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep away from you. How could I not?”

  “You thought that after a five minute meeting?” I scrunched my face up in confusion. I’d had feelings of lust at the start for sure, who didn’t? He was gorgeous. But I didn’t expect to find my soul mate, which is exactly how I felt about him now.

  He nodded, running his hand down my body and cinching me closer. “I’d never met anyone like you. The falling in love part took me by surprise, I hadn’t planned on that, but it made a lot of sense. You never took my bullshit, or anyone else’s for that matter. You’re strong and fucking vicious in a courtroom. I can’t tell you the amount of times I got hard while you were cross-examining a witness or delivering your closing argument.” He tossed his head back and laughed.

  “You are a deviant.” I elbowed him playfully in the ribs. “I just always assumed you thought I wasn’t good enough, which just pissed me off. For some stupid reason, earning your respect was really important to me.”

  “Jesus, Lauren.” He shook his head. “You always had my respect, and so much more. You’re a circle, I respected and admired the hell out of you.”

  I jabbed him again. “What’s a circle, wiseass? This better not be in reference to my body shape either.”

  “A circle is the strongest shape because there are no breaks.” He held up his hand, connecting his forefinger and thumb to create an O. “It is just one continuous line so the beginning and the end are no longer visible. Perfect in every way, resilient, and beautiful to look at.”

  My heart just melted a little more, the sigh slipping from my lips. “That was the one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me.”

  “So,” he kissed my temple, “now you know. I was a prick because I was trying to avoid the inevitable. I thought it would ruin one of the best partnerships I’d ever had. Or that I would screw something up, and then lose you completely. Turns out I sucked at that and fell in love with you anyway.”

&nb
sp; My lips brushed against his, my heart feeling like it was about to burst. “And I had no choice but to fall in love with you.”

  There was an eerie sense of calm that washed over me on Monday morning.

  I had spent the entire weekend with Roman, only returning home to collect some clothes and check in on Morgan. But it was while I was lying in bed with him—everything slowing down around us—that I really appreciated what I had.

  Somehow, without even realizing it, I’d achieved the ultimate.

  I was in love with a man who was powerful, smart and sexy who wasn’t intimidated by me or my ambition.

  And he loved me right back.

  I also had an amazing job that paid well in one of the most prestigious law firms in L.A. with awesome prospects for growth, and I’d earned that honestly.

  No one had handed me anything on a silver platter, there had been no lottery wins—everything I had, I’d worked hard for. And I wasn’t going to give any of it up without a fight.

  “Lauren, Roman.” Daniel dipped his chin to the two chairs in front of him. “So nice of you both to show up. I assume you’re done with personal time?” His voice hinted at the displeasure of losing both his associates last Friday.

  “We have.” Roman looked at me and nodded. “Actually, before we start, we wanted to talk to you about that.”

  Daniel’s eyebrows rose as he leaned forward in his chair. “You better not be trying to renegotiate your contracts, you have another twelve months before your review. And if some other bastard is trying to poach you, I’ll also remind you that you signed a non compete in the exact contract I’m referring to.”

  I smiled, almost feeling honored he valued us so much he’d sue us if we left. It was a little twisted, but I guess I liked that. “No, this isn’t some joint effort to extort more money, and neither of us is leaving.” I looked at Roman and took a breath. “But we need you to know we’re dating.”

  Daniel narrowed his eyes, confused as he annunciated slowly. “Each other?”

  “Crazy, I know,” Roman added, his hand stretched across to touch mine, which just made Daniel’s eyes widen even more. “But Lauren and I are dating. And while it doesn’t violate any terms of that contract you are fond of mentioning, we know the firm doesn’t look favorably on couples. Regardless, our situation isn’t changing.” His fingers gave mine a squeeze.