Give Me This (It's Kind Of Personal Book 6)

by Anna Brooks

“Yeah, you are.”

  The fear bubbling in my gut flies out of my mouth. “What if she says no?”

  “She won’t. She loves you. As much as I hated her for what she did, I understand why now.” I follow her to the kitchen and sit at the island while she stirs some shit on the stove. “You guys are a lot like Liam and me.”

  “How so?”

  “Fell in love young. Tore apart. Now, you’re back together.”

  “Yeah, but you and Lee were only apart for a few months before you got back together.”

  “True. But that time apart was probably the best thing for our relationship. I know that seventeen years is a long time, and I can’t imagine or pretend to know what you’ve gone through, but if absence makes the heart grow fonder, then you two are going to live in bliss for the rest of your lives.”

  “When did you get so smart?”

  “I’ve always been smart.”

  “You’ve always been a smartass.”

  “I have not.”

  “Yeah, princess, you have.” Liam walks into the room with a baby in each arm.

  I take Clover from him and kiss the top of her head. “Hey, baby girl,” I whisper. She smiles at me, all gummy, and I smile back.

  “Don’t come in here and take his side.” She points a spatula at her husband and raises a pierced eyebrow at him.

  “I’m not taking sides. I’m agreeing.” Liam walks over to Meara and kisses her pouty lips.

  “You’re lucky you’re hot.”

  “I know.” He laughs.

  “Now, who’s a smartass?”

  I hold my daughter and laugh to myself as I listen to the banter between them. It’s good seeing my little sister so happy. She always was, though, but now, she’s peaceful.

  We hang around for the afternoon, and when it’s time for me to get Amie, Meara asks if she can tag along. “I haven’t left the house for two days. I need some fresh air.”

  “Yeah, of course. I’ll drop you off after I get Amie.”

  I say goodbye to little Melody, who is the prettiest baby next to my Clover, and Liam and I make plans to get together for a beer soon. After buckling Clover in her seat, I drive off to Amie’s school with Meara riding shotgun.

  Amie waves and I get out to open the back door for her. “Hey, honey.” I kiss her before she gets in and reaches for Clover, baby talking to her immediately.

  “Guess I know where I stand,” I mumble to myself as I go back around to my side and put the car in drive.

  Meara and Amie chat the whole way to the pub, and it takes so much weight off my shoulders to know they get along now. I love that my sister looks out for my best interests, but Amie is my other half. She’s fucking everything to me, and it’d suck to have that tension whenever they were around each other.

  Once I get to the pub, I walk with Amie over to her car. “I’ll drop Meara off, then be home.”

  “Okay.”

  I open her door, and once she gets in, I lean down and press my lips to hers. “Love you, honey.”

  “Love you, too.”

  She pulls out of the parking lot, and I follow her for a few miles. I have another half to go before I turn to take Meara home. It happens so fast. A deer jumps in front of her car, and she swerves erratically from left to right. Her car goes hard to the left, collides with the railing, then flies across the road, and careens down the cliff.

  “Holy shit!” Meara screams next to me, and I slam the brakes, both of our seat belts locking and causing us to jar forward. Clover cries in the backseat. “Oh, my God!” Meara shouts.

  I jump out of the car before I even have it in park all the way and run to the top of the cliff. I skid to a stop at the top and take a step back as the rocks fall from under my feet and tumble down to the bottom. It’s far down. Really far. And really rocky. Meara’s cry sounds from behind me, and I fight back the sheer horror coursing through my body right now.

  Amie’s car floats on top of the water, and with every second that passes, it begins to tilt forward, slowly submerging into the frigid lake. I reach for my shoes, knowing they’re just going to weigh me down.

  “Declan, no. You can’t make that jump.”

  I’ll make it. I have to make it. I might die trying, but I’m going to save her.

  “I have to.” I strip off my jacket and take a deep breath, forcing myself to switch into rescue mode. This will be the most important save I’ve ever made, and I need to force my emotions aside.

  Meara grabs my arm and tugs me away, her short nails digging into my arm. “Think about Clover. You can’t do this, Declan. You can’t! Wait for the firefighters. Think about your daughter.”

  I pry her fingers off me and take a couple of steps back so I can get a running start. “Clover needs her mama.”

  Three long strides bring me to the edge, and I push off with every ounce of strength I can muster. As I’m falling through the air, pictures of Amie’s beautiful face and crazy hair flash in front of me. Whatever happens in the next few minutes, it’ll be worth it. She’s worth it.

  I glide through the freezing cold water, my entire body being pulled under by the waves. I push up to the top to take a deep breath, my body already shaking from the cold and sore from slicing through the water. I swim over to Amie’s car and pull on the door as I search for her.

  She’s hunched lying against the steering wheel, but her eyes are closed and blood drips down from her forehead. What scares me is that her head doesn’t look fully supported by her neck. The vehicle tips in her direction, and the cold water travels up to her legs.

  “Amie!” I pound on the glass and tug on the handle, desperately trying to get her attention so she can unlock the door. “Amie, wake the fuck up!”

  The hood of the car is fully submerged now, and I push myself around and try all the other doors. At the passenger side door, I bang on the glass and pound on it. I use my elbow and hit it over and over. My feet begin to tingle from the numbing cold, but I push through the pain and continue to hammer at the glass. Sharp pain radiates all the way up my arm, but the pain is nothing compared to what I would feel if I lost her. Finally, a small crack forms in the window, as I relentlessly continue to hit the same spot.

  The water is up to her shoulders now, and I fear it’ll cover her head before I can get to her. “God, please, please, let me save her. I need to save her.”

  I undo my belt and wrap it around my fist then pound the window, making sure the metal collides with the glass every time. Again and again, I pound on the small crack; my arms become weighted down with overuse and mind-numbing cold. I’m not giving up, but it’s at the point that I have no strength anymore, and as every second passes, more water fills the car.

  I never thought the sound of glass breaking would be a good thing, but the window finally shatters. Water rushes in, and I reach through the sharp shards of glass and unlock the door. Pulling against the current of the water, I open the door and reach for Amie through the deflated airbags.

  Blood drips down my arm, and I push on her seat belt button a few times before it finally pops open. A rush of water comes into the car and pulls it down. The water is now up to Amie’s neck, but with every movement, water hits her in the face. I pull her arm through the belt and begin to tug on her body when the entire car starts sinking even deeper. I take a deep breath and my lungs burn as I fight against the water and the seat belt and the dead weight of her body as her head goes under.

  Finally, when I start to release my breath underwater, she loosens up, and I’m able to pull her out of the car. I can barely feel my legs, but I use them to push up to the surface, sputtering water. I rest Amie’s back against the front of my chest, being as careful of her neck as I can, and swim backward until I feel the sand beneath my feet.

  When I drag her onto the shore, her entire body is shaking. Mine is too, but that doesn’t stop me. “Amie!” I call her name but get no response. There’s no pulse either, so I start CPR.

  On my fucking girl.

&
nbsp; Meara screams echo slightly from above, but I continue pumping on Amie’s chest. When I tilt her head back and put my mouth to hers to give her my air, tears fill my eyes. I never thought in a million years that I’d be using my mouth on hers for anything but pleasure and love. Now, I’m using it to try to save her life. Tears drip against my lips while I’m pushing air into her lungs, but I continue doing everything I can. I don’t know if it’ll be enough.

  Her chest rises and falls with each breath I administer, but she still doesn’t have a pulse.

  I pump on her chest. “Don’t fucking do this to me, Amie. Don’t fucking do this!” I scream at her. “Wake up. Wake the fuck up.” Nothing. No movement. No pulse. No breathing. I pinch her nose and tilt her head back again, breathing for her. Giving her everything I can. Fuck, I’d die for her if I could switch places.

  “No, no, no.” I go to her chest again and pump so hard a rib cracks. “Fuck. Fuck, don’t you leave me. I just got you back. You can’t fucking leave me!”

  Rustling sounds from behind me, and a heavy hand lands on my shoulder. “Let me take over.” I don’t look up but recognize Travis’ voice.

  I scoot over and give her breaths again while he feels for a pulse. I don’t look up from what I’m doing, but when someone says her temperature is eighty-seven, I breathe a sigh of relief. She’s at least warm enough to get shocked. Travis rips open her shirt and attaches the defibrillator patches.

  “Clear.” I back up while he pushes the button. An eerie screech fills the air as it boots up, and when her entire body jerks, I’m not prepared for it. I’ve done it to people I’ve rescued before—so many times—but with the jolt that courses through her body, I swear I feel it, too.

  A sob tears through me, and I fall to the ground. “Jesus fucking fuck! Amie!” I wipe my eyes and sit back up while the machine recharges. I put my face next to hers and talk to her. “Honey, you’ve gotta wake up. How am I supposed to go on without you? How is Clover going to live a happy life without her mama?”

  “Clear.”

  I press a kiss to her and sit back. This time, I’m prepared for what my woman will look like being electrocuted. A moan slides out of her mouth, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard in my fucking life. I grab her hand and press it to my mouth.

  As the paramedics and firefighters strap her down, her eyes flutter open but close before she can see me, and the weak pulse that was there is now gone.

  Chapter 26

  Amie

  I REMEMBER EVERYTHING. THE deer, my screaming, falling down the cliff and thinking I was going to die. It was so cold. When you see a car fall into the water in the movies, it in no way represents what happens in real life. It’s not peaceful. It’s not quiet. It’s loud and terrifying. But then it all went away. It was dark and quiet.

  I remember hearing him screaming for me. Calling my name. His cries. His hand holding mine.

  The airbag went off, but I still hit my head on something. I reach up and feel the stitches. I wiggle my toes and fingers then squeeze my hand in a fist but stop when a different hand squeezes mine back.

  “Amie?”

  Declan’s worried voice makes my eyes pop open, and I find him right away, since his face is only inches from mine. “Jesus Christ.”

  He kisses me and then leans back to look into my eyes. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”

  I smile. “I didn’t try,” I whisper because my throat hurts, and I cough.

  “Here, take a drink.” He hands me a cup of water with a straw.

  When I hand it back to him, I notice his arms are scratched and bloody. “Declan.”

  “How do you feel?”

  “Fine. Why do I feel fine?”

  “Because you’re in heaven. It doesn’t hurt in heaven.”

  I look around, and everything is beautiful. I’m on a bed, but the lake is in front of me, and birds chirp. A cool breeze feels amazing, swirling around the smell of fresh lilacs.

  “Why are you with me?”

  “I told you I can’t live without you. I already did it once, and I’m not doing it again.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He looks away, but I reach up and grab his face to get him to look at me, and when my fingers graze a circular scar on his temple, I drop my hand like it’s on fire. “No… please tell me this isn’t real.”

  “No.” He smiles then screams in my face. “No, no, no!”

  My body jerks and a force slams through every cell; a lava of heat burns my veins.

  “Declan,” I whisper, my voice sore now.

  “Amie, oh Christ, Amie. Stay with me this time.” His hand leaves mine for a second and something slams loudly.

  When I open my eyes, I realize I’m in an ambulance. That was a dream, only a dream. Thank God. I’m freezing. My teeth chatter, and whatever I’m lying on shakes with my movements. My heavy lids close again against my will.

  Warmth surrounds me as Declan’s hands run along my face; I’d recognize his hands anywhere. “Open your eyes for me, honey. Let me see your pretty eyes. Look at me, baby.”

  I force them open, which takes way more effort than I thought. His face clouds my vision. “There she is. There’s my girl.”

  A pinch in my arm makes me flinch. “Just an IV. They’re gonna get you warmed up, okay?”

  His lips are blue, and he’s shivering. “Cold?”

  “I know you’re cold.”

  “You.” Why is it so hard to talk?

  “Don’t worry about me.” Just then, someone throws a blanket over his shoulders.

  “Love you.”

  My eyes become heavy, but he shakes me. “No, don’t sleep. Look at me.”

  I try, I really try, but they become so heavy, and I can’t do it anymore. Before I fall asleep, the last thing I hear is Declan telling me he loves me.

  * * *

  I wake up in the hospital, and this time I know I’m not dreaming. Declan sleeps next to me, both of our bodies covered in heated blankets, and unlike before, my head is killing me. Dec’s arms tighten around me, and I lift my hand to run it across his scruffy face.

  I screech when I see a diamond ring on my finger, and Dec’s eyes pop open. “Hey, honey.”

  “What is this?” I hold up my hand and wave it in his face.

  “I told you we’re getting married.”

  I’d normally rebut with something, but the severity of what has happened collides with the happiness and relief I feel, and my body convulses as tears stream from my eyes.

  I fall into his arms, and he just holds me. Tells me it’s all going to be okay. How much he loves me. My tears soak his shirt and my breath hitches so badly I have to sit up to breathe.

  “It’s okay, now.”

  “You jumped in and saved me.”

  “Yeah.”

  My fingers trail along the bandages on his arms. “You could have died.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “But you could have. You have Clover to think about. Why did you do that? It was too dangerous.”

  He grabs my flailing hands in his own. “Do you not understand what you mean to me? Christ, Amie. The only time I feel alive is when we’re together.”

  “But—”

  “No. Stop. You’re okay; I’m okay. We’re going to continue to be okay together. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He kisses my forehead, then my nose, and then my lips. “I’m glad these are pink again.”

  Somehow, I manage a small laugh. “Yeah, blue’s not my color.”

  We lie back down, and I close my eyes, letting my fingers twist the new ring on my finger. In a matter of minutes, my eyes become heavy again, and I let my dreams pull me under.

  * * *

  Four months later.

  “We’re on our way back,” Nik says into the phone.

  “What, no!” I scream, frantically rushing around the house.

  “He wanted to come back. You try to stop his stubborn ass.” He grunts. “I’
m stalling as best I can, okay? You have an hour, tops.”

  “Shit, okay.”

  I hang up and look at our families. “An hour tops. Hurry!” I yell, and we all rush around doing our part to set up the decorations.

  “He’s going to be earlier than we thought, so please hurry as fast as you can,” I explain to the caterers and florist.

  I run back inside, and Meara grabs me. “Stop. Breathe.”

  I nod at her and pant. “Okay. Okay.”

  “We’ll finish up here. Go get ready.”

  My feet tangle on the stairs, but I manage to get up there in one piece. I change into the dress I picked out and apply some makeup. I leave my hair down and just add some extra curls.

  When I get back downstairs thirty minutes later, I marvel at the transformation of the house. Balloons everywhere. Food set up. Decorations. I walk to the back patio and cover my mouth at how beautiful the flowers look. Clover is sitting in front of my mom, holding onto a balloon.

  I walk over to her, and she waves as I get closer. “Hey, baby girl.”

  She looks adorable in her white ruffled dress. I kiss her on the cheeks before setting her back down on the blanket.

  “It’s beautiful.” My mom stands and puts an arm around my waist. “You look beautiful, too.”

  “Thanks.”

  With the finishing touches in place, we all stand around in the backyard and stare at Lisa, Nik’s fiancé, who is waiting for his call. The guys laugh at how on edge we all are, and my hands shake uncontrollably.

  Her phone rings, and I jump. High. I put a hand on my chest and laugh to myself.

  “Shh.” Lisa slides her finger over the screen and hits the speakerphone button. “Hello.”

  “Hey, baby. I’m almost to Declan’s. Did you eat lunch?”

  “Yeah, I already ate.”

  “Okay, well, I’ll be dropping him off in like five, and then I’ll be home.”

  “’Kay. See you then.”

  When she hangs up, we all release the breaths we’re holding, and Meara jumps up and down. “I can’t take it anymore. My heart is pounding.”

  “Yours?” I grab her hand and put it on my chest. “Feel this.”