My Torin

by K. Webster

  And oh, do I need looking after.

  I need whatever it is he somehow gives to me and I need it in loads.

  My fingers slide into his hair and I pull his head until it rests against mine. “I’m sorry for the things they said to you,” I breathe in the darkness.

  His lips brush against mine. Not a kiss, but as close as I get when I’m with Torin. “Casey-Casey.”

  “You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry. In the morning,” I say, letting out a sigh, “I’ll make them leave. I knew it wasn’t real.”

  His teeth find my bottom lip and he tugs. “This. Is. Real.”

  I’m so stunned by his words that I choke on a sob. His lips rest against mine. Dominant and possessive. We don’t need Dr. Cohen or my mother. We don’t need anyone when we have each other.

  “This is real,” I agree, my voice shaking. “I love you, Torin.”

  “I breathelicktastetouchsmellfeelneed you.”

  I’m smiling at his words as he paws at my clothes. Soon, I’m naked and he’s inside me. His touches are more frequent in the bedroom and less forced. Maybe, with time, those touches will move outside of the bedroom too. One day, maybe he can hold our child in his arms and kiss its forehead.

  Some people dream of careers or beach houses or a fancy life.

  I dream of this.

  Us.

  Happiness.

  “This. Is. Real,” Torin grits out, his sweaty body sliding against mine with each thrust.

  My fingers slide to his shoulders and I clutch onto him. “Don’t stop.”

  “Casey-Casey.”

  His body rubs up against mine in such a way that I climax hard and without warning. This always spurs him on because two thrusts later and he’s spilling inside me. He collapses over me but doesn’t crush me. I seek him out in the dark and pull his face to mine. My lips part to tell him how much he means to me.

  And then he does the unthinkable.

  He presses his lips to mine firmly and inserts his tongue into my mouth. Feral and hungry and uncoordinated. But it’s there. Tasting and adoring me. I melt under his kiss.

  That’s exactly what it is.

  A kiss.

  It doesn’t last long, but it gives me hope for more in the future. Through my tears, I thank him.

  “You’re my family, Torin.”

  He grunts as his nose nuzzles against mine. “Mine.”

  I wake in the middle of the night needing to pee and have to crawl out from under Torin’s heavy sleeping form. I make my way past three annoyed cats. And then, I throw on a robe. The house is dark, per usual, so I light a candle to guide me through it. Once I finish my business in the bathroom, I walk downstairs, candle in hand, to Tyler’s old office. Sometimes, when I can’t sleep at night, I go inside and sit. I used to think it smelled like him and that’s why I love it so much. Now, I just realize it’s a quiet place where I can think about him undisturbed. When I sit at the desk and set down the candle, I smile to see a shiny penny sitting on the surface.

  My Torin.

  He’s quite romantic all things considered.

  I’m smiling as I lean back in the leather chair, the penny between my finger and thumb.

  Creak.

  I lift my gaze expecting to see my lover, my friend, my Torin. Instead, I see Carl. He’s not smiling. Behind him stands my mother. Unease flutters in my chest.

  “Didn’t expect for you to be awake.” His eyes flit past me to Tyler’s safe behind the desk.

  “Did you need something?” My tone is clipped. I don’t have the energy to yell at them and send them away. In the morning, I will.

  My mother steps into the room and swats at the light switch, bathing us in the harsh overhead lights. Her smile is gone too. “We need some money.”

  Of course they do.

  Everything Torin sent me earlier suggested as much.

  “How much?” I challenge the woman who gave birth to me and left me to die with a hard glare.

  Her blue eyes twinkle with greed. “A lot.”

  “Why should I give you any money?”

  She huffs and waves a shaking hand at me. “You don’t want me in your life, honey. This life is too pretty and perfect. People like me and Carl don’t belong. We’ll go. You can raise your baby with the slow one and you can be happy. My gift to you.”

  I pick up the pen on the desk and absently click the end of it. “I’ll give you a thousand dollars. Just go away and never come back.”

  Click. Click. Click.

  Carl guffaws. “A thousand? You gotta be shittin’ me right now. How’s about twenty thousand? That’s what Guy got and more. Am I right?”

  “I don’t have twenty thousand dollars!” I shriek.

  Clickclickclickclick.

  “Well, that’s what it’ll take,” Mona snaps. She may have squirted me out of her body, but she is nothing to me.

  “Or what?” I demand.

  Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick.

  “For Christ’s sake, take that pen away from her,” Mona orders, her voice no longer sweet.

  I cry out when Carl knocks it out of my hand. He grabs my wrist and hauls me to my feet. “Get us the money.”

  “Torin has video cameras everywhere,” I lie. “The police are on their way.”

  Carl barks out more laughter. “No, he doesn’t. We’ve been in just about every room in this house.”

  Disgust washes through me. I let them into our home. I did this. “Please just go.”

  He hauls me over to the safe and points. “Open it. Give us what we want and we’ll go.”

  I jerk my hand from his grip and bend over to mash the buttons on the safe. When I pull it open, he pushes me aside.

  “I’ll take it from here.”

  “You said twenty thousand,” I snap.

  Mona cackles from behind me. “Take everything inside.”

  “You bitch,” I seethe, turning my glare to her. “You’re a vile human.”

  “And just think, you could have been saddled with me your entire life,” she taunts. “I did you a favor, honey.”

  “Holeeee shit,” Carl says with a whistle. “There’s a lot of cash in here.”

  I watch in frustration as he stuffs every bundle of hundreds from the safe into the bag. When he starts shoving paperwork into the bag, I yell at him.

  “That stuff is worthless to you. Leave it in there!”

  Ignoring me, he continues with his task. I hit his shoulder and he swings out his arm, connecting with my thighs. It’s painful and I immediately back away so he doesn’t hurt the baby. Tears stream down my face as I watch him empty the safe.

  “What’s in there?” he demands and kicks the locked drawer on the desk.

  “Nothing,” I hiss.

  Mona walks over to me and glares. “What’s inside?”

  “Medicine. More useless papers. Nothing of any value to you,” I grit out, my arms protectively covering my stomach.

  “Medicine?” they both say at the same time.

  Oh, fuck.

  “Nothing you can get high from!” I screech. I hope Torin wakes up and hears. But he won’t be able to help me. I can only protect myself and pray they leave soon.

  Carl kneels and pulls out a knife. I shrink away from him for fear he’ll use it on me, but he uses it on the desk drawer instead. With practiced ease, he jimmies the drawer open and soon he’s shoveling all of Tyler’s old prescription bottles into the bag. Once he’s taken everything, he pulls out a folder.

  “Casey Doe.” He looks up at me and grins. “Did you know this was here?”

  “No. Leave it. You’ve taken enough,” I grumble. “Please.”

  “It might be important,” Mona says. “We’re taking it.”

  He nods as he pushes it into the bag. I reach for it, but he shoves me away from him. My arm swings out for purchase. I knock something off the desk before finding the edge. Terror rises inside of me as they laugh at my expense. I straighten my spine and glare through my hea
vy tears. Both of these assholes are smiling…until they’re not.

  “Goddammit, Carl!” Mona yells. “Look what you did!”

  I follow her wide eyes to behind me, hoping to see Torin. What I see instead stops my heart. Flames. Orange, angry flames. The candle. Bright and vicious, they crawl up the dusty fake curtain in a flash. So fast. So damn fast. I’m still staring in horror as it spreads across the wood paneled walls when someone forcefully grabs my bicep.

  “Stop!” I screech, finding my voice. “Torin!”

  Carl drags me from the office and down the hallway. I yank from his grip and run back to the office to see if I can put out the fire. But it’s growing too quickly. The fire rages along Tyler’s books, burning them up without remorse.

  “No,” I choke out through my tears. “Torin!”

  Carl grabs my arm again and yanks me behind him. Mona is farther down the hallway with the giant bag full of money slung over her shoulder.

  “How do we get out of here?” Mona hollers.

  I point in the right direction before screaming. “Torin!”

  When I look over my shoulder, thick black smoke billows from the office doorway. The fire spreads quicker than we can escape it. It’s chasing us down the hallway.

  “Who the hell builds a house with no fuckin’ windows?!” Carl bellows as he drags me away from the flames.

  “This way,” Mona instructs.

  I try to break free from Carl. I need to get to Torin. He’s asleep. He needs me. Oh, God. The fire is growing.

  “TORIN!”

  Oh, God.

  Oh, God.

  I stumble and trip, falling hard to my knees. I’m thankful Carl has a tight grip on me because at least I didn’t hurt the baby. He yanks me back up, nearly pulling my arm from my socket, before continuing our trek.

  “Torin is in the attic,” I sob. “He can’t get out. You have to go get him!”

  “I ain’t gettin’ that retard and risk dyin’! You’re lucky I’m savin’ your ass,” Carl hisses.

  I fight against him, but he doesn’t release me. We eventually make it to the foyer and out the front door. The air is cool tonight and I desperately suck in deep breaths. I turn my attention back to the house and stare in horror as fire quickly overtakes it. A hole opens up on the side of the house and breathes life into the fire, black smoke pouring from it.

  “TORIN!”

  I slip from Carl’s grip and run toward the house. I’ve just made it to the door when I’m being dragged back away. I scream and sob and squirm to no avail.

  He’s going to die.

  My Torin is going to die.

  No.

  Noooooo.

  I need him.

  “There are no windows,” I sob, my entire body trembling. I’m in shock as I watch the fire engulf the house so incredibly quick. “There are no windows.”

  Cracks and groans resound from the house.

  This isn’t real. This isn’t real.

  This. Is. Real.

  Tears burn down my cheeks, hotter than any fire.

  I’m losing him.

  I stare helplessly at the one side of the house that isn’t engulfed yet. Even if he woke up, there’d be no way to escape.

  No.

  God, no.

  I wake with a start. Something is off. My cats are pacing the bed and making worried sounds. Guttural and panicked. I quickly turn on the light to discover Casey isn’t in the bed with me.

  Where are you, Casey?

  My cock stiffens at the memory of driving into her earlier tonight. I kissed her. I fucking kissed her. Hell, I really sucked at it, but at least I forced myself. My lips moved as they were told. My tongue obeyed my commands.

  I love you, Casey. So fucking much.

  I throw on some jeans and hunt for my phone to text her to see where she went. With those two losers staying here, I don’t trust her being near them. They’re bad people. My sweet, sweet girl needs to stay away from them.

  Meowwwwww.

  I frown at Foggy. He’s circling my feet in a worried way. It’s then that I smell it. Smoke. Making my way over to my bedroom door, I hiss when I touch hot metal. There’s a fire. Holy shit, there’s a fire. I snatch up my backpack from the floor and throw in some important things like my laptop. Then, I head for the passageway that opens to my room.

  Casey.

  Where the fuck is Casey?

  “Torin!”

  I jerk my head to the right and listen. The sound is from outside. She’s safe. I just need to get to her.

  “Casey-Casey!” I cry out. The cats cry louder.

  Running over to the passageway, I make it my mission to get to her. I secure the bag on my back and then start tossing cats into the darkness. I hop down, bypassing the stairs altogether, and shuffle between the walls, searching for a way out. Smoke billows from the slats in the walls, so I crouch to avoid where it’s collecting above my head. Loud coughs escape me, but I don’t succumb to them.

  “Torin!”

  Her voice is distraught and horrified.

  I have to get to her.

  I’m coming, Casey.

  The cats, panicked and meowing, stay close to me. I have to get us out of here. My mind whirs as I think about which passageways will lead me outside. I’m so consumed by this that I almost pass up her old room.

  “Casey-Casey,” I mutter before climbing through the hole she made.

  Flames pour through the doorway into the room and for a moment I’m mesmerized by the sight. Misty hisses at me from the opening in the wall, and I drag myself back into gear. I hunt around in her room and gather what I can before pushing back through the hole.

  With two bags in tow and three cats losing their shit, my trek is slower. Each passageway I try is blocked in some way. Heat. Fire. Smoke.

  Think, Torin, think.

  I run back the way I came, little paws pattering after me. Quickly, I climb back up the stairs into my room. I rush over to the bed and grab my weighted blanket. My mind rushes over the details of the tag attached to it. A tag I’ve read a thousand times.

  Fire retardant.

  “FoggyMistyRainySafe!”

  My cats screech and panic when my bedroom door splinters and cracks. More smoke. More fire. Fuck.

  Thinkthinkthinkthink.

  “TORIN!”

  Her voice is so close. Outside. So close. Just beyond the walls. Think.

  Meowwwwww.

  FoggyMistyRainySafe.

  “Casey-Casey!”

  The fire rages toward me.

  I’m trapped.

  Fuck.

  My home.

  My family.

  My future.

  All gone up in smoke.

  “We need to go, Mona,” Carl hisses. “I can hear the sirens.”

  Their footsteps crunch away as I stare at my worst nightmare.

  Torin.

  My Torin is gone.

  I fall to my knees and let out a gut-wrenching sob, my hands reaching for what I’ll never touch again. Sirens are getting louder and I can hear Mona yelling at Carl to get the car started. It keeps turning over, but the engine doesn’t catch. My own car sits parked out front, untouched. I didn’t have a chance to grab the keys. A car is useless without keys.

  “TORIN!” I cry out. The ache in my chest hurts so fucking bad. “TORIN!”

  The flames are angry. Violent and furious.

  I stare and stare and stare.

  Everything fades around me.

  Vaguely I realize firefighters are running past me, but I don’t move. A responder arrives at my side and speaks to me in soothing tones. I shake them away as I stare helplessly.

  A giant explosion bursts from the side of the house from the second floor. The responder squats in front of me, but I scramble to my feet to see past her. Something just flew out of the house. Not an explosion. Firefighters run over to it and I’m not far behind. Three cats race past me, nearly knocking me over. When I push past a firefighter, I let out a scream.
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  My Torin.

  My Torin.

  He’s alive.

  His face is black with soot and his hair is singed, but he’s coughing as he fumbles out of his still smoking blanket.

  “Torin!” I screech and fall on top of him. He has a backpack on his back and mine is strapped to his front. I yank it off him and throw myself on top of his burning hot body.

  “Casey-Casey,” he croaks.

  People are shouting at me, but I don’t care. All I care is that he’s alive and well. I cradle his cheeks and pepper kisses all over his dirty face.

  “I love you. Oh my God,” I sob. “You’re alive.”

  “Ma’am,” someone snaps. “I need you to calm down so we can help him.”

  I’m tugged away from him and it’s then I notice his leg is turned at a gruesome angle. His bone sticks out of his thigh. I gag at the sight.

  “Torin!”

  “Casey-Casey!”

  I jerk away from the man and grasp onto Torin’s hot hand. The skin is black and red in some patches. Sobs choke me to the point I think I’ll hyperventilate.

  “Ma’am—”

  “I’m not leaving him!” I scream at them all.

  Torin squeezes my hand. He actually squeezes me. His words are sluggish in his mouth. “She’s pregnant.”

  Suddenly, they’re back to fussing over me as well and we’re torn apart. His stare is intense. Protective. Possessive. I’m hauled away and I see satisfaction in his expression.

  “I love you!” I call out to him.

  “Casey-Casey,” he says and then my Torin smiles.

  Three weeks later…

  “I can do it,” the voice on Torin’s phone chirps.

  I stop hovering over the bed and throw my hands up in the air. “Fine.”

  “Women,” Dr. Madsen says with a chuckle. “Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them.” His eyes twinkle as he regards Torin. “Least that’s what your dad used to always say.”

  Torin ignores his father’s old friend and Tyler’s doctor, but his eyes find mine. Piercing and heated. His eyes make promises. A promise to connect in bed later when we’re alone. Our mouths. Our skin. His body sinking deep into mine.

  Torin hobbles over to the bathroom, his entire leg in a cast, muttering my name along the way. I want to go in and help him, but he’s so independent. It’s been three weeks since the fire and he’s told me, via his phone, numerous times that I’m babying him. And if there’s anything I’ve learned about Torin, it’s that he doesn’t like to be babied.