by HC Warner
I tried to look nonchalant as I logged into my computer. I had actively encouraged Leo to invest with our company by passing him information that I shouldn’t have done and as a result, I had secured a hefty bonus, to go along with my promotion. Money wasn’t really the incentive for me – it was more about power. I had always felt that I could outsmart all of the men I worked with, Marcus included. He didn’t realize it but I had used my relationship with him to learn as much as possible about the business, with a view to one day elbowing him out of the way and taking his job. ‘What did he want?’
Marcus hesitated. ‘Well, it’s slightly awkward.’ He looked at me and I could see a slight flush spreading up his neck. The prickle of unease that I had felt when I spoke to Leo earlier intensified.
‘Go on,’ I urged, with an impatient wave of my hand.
Marcus’s eyes slid away. ‘He said he’s thinking of withdrawing his capital.’
My mouth dried slightly and I cleared my throat, playing for time. ‘Oh?’
‘Yes,’ Marcus continued. ‘Which would not be good for Norton.’
‘No,’ I agreed. ‘It wouldn’t.’
‘So, I was wondering …’ Marcus stood up and put his hands in his pockets. ‘Do you have any idea why he might be considering that?’
I shook my head slowly. ‘No. How would I know?’
‘Well, he did mention you. I may be wrong but I got the impression that you might have had some sort of … tiff.’
I wrinkled my nose in disdain. ‘Marcus, don’t be ridiculous. Leo is just a friend. We haven’t had any sort of “tiff” and whatever his reasons for threatening to withdraw his investment, I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with me.’
‘Hmmm.’ Marcus nodded contemplatively. I could tell that he didn’t believe me for one second. He knew damn well that I had been having a relationship with Leo for months and that I must have passed him confidential information about a big merger that I knew about, in order to encourage him to invest. As if reading my mind, he added, ‘As you know, Bella, you are party to some highly confidential information, especially around the merger, and if Leo Fox invested because of anything you told him during his, ahem, “friendship” with you,’ he made imaginary speech marks with his fingers, ‘you might find yourself in a spot of trouble if you upset him.’
My heart began to pound and my mind was racing back over the various things I had told Leo. There was absolutely no doubt that I had persuaded Leo to invest by passing him details about the forthcoming merger, which would be considered insider dealing and was highly illegal.
I must have looked panicked because Marcus flashed me a reassuring smile. ‘Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s not going to be a problem. All you have to do is keep him sweet.’
I nodded, his meaning all too clear. Leo Fox was not a man used to being sidelined and he clearly had no intention of letting me go that easily. I looked up at Marcus and nodded confidently. ‘It’ll be fine,’ I said with a confident smile. ‘I’ll sort it.’
Marcus grinned back wolfishly. ‘Good girl.’
Chapter Thirty-Two
Charlotte pulled up across the road from the address Jo had given her and turned off the engine. It was only a ten-minute drive from the slightly scruffy terraced house she shared with Joe, but it seemed like a world away. She looked up at the grand white façade, set back behind ornate black iron gates. It was a hell of a house for a small family of three, especially in this part of Surrey, which was known for its expensive properties.
There were two cars parked on the luxuriously paved driveway – a pale blue Mercedes sports car and a large Jaguar SUV. Charlotte pictured the scene inside the house as they sat around the table, eating breakfast together. Were they a happy little family unit, laughing and chatting as they ate? She somehow doubted it, having seen the three of them together at the funeral. Bella definitely didn’t seem like a laughing or chatting kind of person.
As she watched, the heavy black front door opened. Instinctively, she ducked down, even though they couldn’t possibly have seen her from where they were. Bella emerged first, looking glamorous and beautiful in a designer grey skirt-suit. Then, behind her, Ben appeared. Charlotte’s heart skipped at the sight of him. He had lost a lot of weight and his cheekbones were far more chiselled than she remembered. From a distance, she couldn’t see his eyes properly but she could certainly see the dark circles beneath them.
Bella turned to say something to him and he bent down to kiss her. Charlotte’s stomach churned, as she watched Bella wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him back, before closing the door and, after a brief hesitation, striding over to the blue sports car and climbing in.
As Bella pulled out through the electric gates and headed down the road, Charlotte sat up in her seat again. She hadn’t been expecting the scene that she had just witnessed and it had thrown her. They looked pretty happy together and if that was how Bella kissed him goodbye each morning, there couldn’t be too much wrong with their relationship.
It had clearly been a waste of time coming here. Charlotte knew that Jo was genuine in her concern for Ben, but she also knew that she might also be looking for a reason why he had cut her out of his life that didn’t involve him simply deciding that he didn’t want to see her. It was desperately unfair, but Ben seemed to have made his choice and there wasn’t much anyone could do about it.
She sat for a while, thinking about how to break the news to Jo, before she started up her car again. She was about to drive off, when the front door opened once more and Ben emerged, this time leading Elodie by the hand towards the SUV. Charlotte smiled at the sight of them together. They seemed to be locked in their own happy little bubble and Ben was obviously a devoted father. Just as she had always known he would be.
As the gates opened for the second time that morning and Ben drove out of the driveway, he looked straight towards Charlotte and their eyes locked. Flushing bright red with embarrassment, she scrambled to duck down in her seat again but it was too late. He’d definitely seen her. Hardly daring to look, she raised her eyes to see that he had pulled up in front of her and was getting out of the car.
‘Oh shit, oh shit,’ she murmured to herself, her mind racing for a plausible explanation as to why she was sitting outside his house like some sort of creepy stalker. Ben walked up to her window and knocked, a look of suspicion on his face.
Charlotte lowered the window, well aware that by now her face was a deep shade of crimson. She felt momentarily weak with humiliation. ‘Hi, Ben,’ she managed, unable to meet his eye.
‘Hi.’ He frowned and bent forward slightly, looking into the car to see if there was anyone else there. ‘Um, what are you doing here, Charlotte?’
Still, nothing plausible would come to mind, so Charlotte made a snap decision that honesty was the best – and only – policy. ‘I’ve come to see you.’
Ben frowned again. ‘OK.’ He paused before continuing. ‘Well, two things,’ he began, frowning. ‘Firstly, why didn’t you text me to say you were coming? And secondly, why are you sitting out here, rather than just, say, ringing the doorbell?’
There was a slight flicker of amusement in his eyes and Charlotte couldn’t help smiling. ‘I’m sorry. It’s a long story. I was worried about you. We all are,’ she added. ‘So I volunteered to come and see you, as I live the closest, just to make sure you were OK. But as soon as I got here, I realized it was a daft idea and I shouldn’t have come. Sorry,’ she said again.
Ben nodded slowly and glanced back towards his own car. ‘OK.’ He hesitated again. ‘Look, we were just off to the park. Do you want to join us?’
Charlotte cleared her throat. She really didn’t want to stay now that she had seen Ben and noted that he and Bella seemed fine together, but she couldn’t think of a way to say so. ‘Um … OK,’ she said instead. ‘You lead the way and I’ll follow.’
Ben smiled and nodded. ‘It’s not far, only a few minutes’ drive, so I guess I’ll see you there?’
By the time she got out of the car at the deserted park, Elodie was already on a little rocking horse, laughing and chattering to no one in particular, as she rocked backwards and forwards. Ben was standing beside her, looking on proudly.
‘Looks like you might have a little jockey in the making there!’ Charlotte said, as she joined him. It was a bright but chilly day and she stamped her feet a couple of times to try to kick-start some body heat.
‘She loves this little horse. I’m just dreading the day she finally gets on the real thing! Then the proper worry starts.’ Ben gazed at Elodie as he spoke, his love for her coming off him in waves.
‘Yes, I bet.’ Charlotte smiled at Elodie. She was an adorable little girl, with her mother’s huge brown eyes and silky black hair. But unlike her mother, she wore a permanent smile that stretched from one side of her face to the other, showing milky white teeth.
‘Who dat?’ Elodie demanded, pointing at Charlotte rudely.
Ben laughed. ‘It’s Charlie.’
Elodie gaped at Charlotte with the unembarrassed stare that only toddlers are capable of. ‘Charlie,’ she said at last, seemingly delighted to have got her tongue around the word, before she resumed her rocking with renewed vigour, both Charlie and Ben apparently dismissed.
‘Shall we sit down?’ Ben motioned to a bench next to them.
Charlotte nodded and they both sat down. They watched Elodie in silence until Ben finally spoke: ‘So, how are things, Charlie? You look well.’
Charlotte smiled up at him and their eyes met, causing her heart to skip. ‘I’m fine. More to the point, how are you?’ Up close, she could see that he didn’t look good at all. Jo was right that he had a haunted air about him and he almost seemed to have caved in on himself. There was none of the old Ben twinkle that she used to love so much.
‘I’m fine.’ Ben’s eyes slid away from hers and returned to watching Elodie, but not before she had seen the threat of tears lurking. ‘I don’t know why they sent you to check up on me.’
Charlotte bit her lip, wondering whether to say what she had come here to say. ‘Nobody sent me, Ben. Not really. I volunteered. We’re all worried about you. No one ever sees you anymore and they all miss you, especially your mum.’
Ben flinched slightly at her words. ‘When did you see her?’ He stared into the distance as he spoke.
‘Last weekend. I went to stay with her, along with Matt, Freya and baby Bertie.’
Ben gave a sad smile, filled with longing. Charlotte could tell that he was wishing he had been there too. ‘How old is he?’
Charlotte felt a spike of irritation. ‘He’s 3 months old, Ben. How could you not know that? Matt is your oldest friend!’
Ben recoiled slightly at the harshness of her words and wrapped his arms around himself in a gesture that could either have been defensiveness or just to keep warm. Whatever it was, Charlotte’s antennae prickled. Why was he being so edgy? He gave a deep sigh. ‘It’s difficult to keep in contact.’
‘Is it?’ Charlotte shot back. ‘Why? All it takes is a phone-call? Or even a bloody text would do!’
Again, Ben recoiled physically at her words. He seemed so fearful and jumpy, which wasn’t like him at all. Something flickered at the edge of Charlotte’s brain. She had seen a man like this before, in this heightened state of alert, terrified in case he said or did the wrong thing.
‘Don’t you miss them?’ Charlotte prompted, adopting a more gentle tone. ‘You and Matt were inseparable. What’s changed?’ She already knew the answer but wanted to see if he would acknowledge Bella’s influence.
Ben pursed his lips slightly and sighed heavily. ‘I do miss them. But sometimes in life you have to make choices. My life now is all about Elodie … and Bella,’ he added, more quietly.
‘I get that Elodie is a priority. Of course she is. But, Ben, what about your mum? She’s so lonely without your dad and now she’s lost you, too …’
‘She hasn’t lost me!’ he cut in fiercely. ‘I still speak to her.’
Charlotte knew she had to tread carefully. She didn’t want to get into a row with him and make things even worse than before. ‘OK, well, that’s good, obviously. But speaking on the phone is no substitute for actually spending time with her, is it? For her being able to hug Elodie? Why don’t you ever visit?’
Ben hesitated. ‘It’s complicated. Bella’s job is quite busy …’ he tailed off and Charlotte could see that even he knew it was a lame excuse.
‘My job’s busy, Ben. Your job was busy. But we still found time to visit your parents and we didn’t even have the added incentive of a baby in tow.’ She glanced towards Elodie, thinking how much Jo would love spending time with her. ‘If Bella’s job is too demanding, maybe you could take Elodie and go on your own?’ She thought, but didn’t add, that Jo would much prefer it that way.
Ben sighed again, looking exhausted and defeated. ‘Maybe. I’ll see what Bella thinks.’
Charlotte shook her head. She had spent twelve years with this man and yet she felt like she didn’t recognize him at all. He had always been so funny and outgoing. Now he seemed cowed and beaten. He loved his friends and he loved his family. Yet he never saw any of them anymore. It was inconceivable that he could have lost touch with everyone from his old life. But somehow he had. ‘Can I ask you something?’ Charlotte had a desperate urge to reach out and take his hand but he still had his arms firmly wrapped around his body.
Ben gave a small shrug by way of reply.
‘Are you happy?’
‘Of course.’ The reply was as quick as it was automatic. But it didn’t ring true. His face gave him away.
‘It’s just …’ Charlotte hesitated, unsure whether or not to continue. ‘You seem so different to how you used to be. Do you remember, Ben? Do you remember how you used to be? You were the life and soul of every party. We couldn’t shut you up!’
Ben smiled and picked at an imaginary piece of fluff on his jeans, before wrapping his arms around his body again. ‘I was a nightmare,’ he murmured, shaking his head. ‘I don’t know how you put up with me for so long.’
Charlotte frowned. ‘No, Ben. You weren’t a nightmare at all. You were great.’
Ben sighed before looking up and meeting her eye. ‘I wasn’t great enough for you to stay, though, was I?’
His words cut through Charlotte like a knife. ‘There was never anything wrong with you, Ben. It was me. I just went a bit loopy after dad died. It made me question everything, including our relationship. I can’t explain it, but I can promise you that it was nothing you did wrong.’
Ben nodded slowly. ‘Good to know, I guess.’
‘So why do you think you’ve changed so much?’ Charlotte prompted, wanting to keep him talking, sensing that he desperately needed to talk to someone.
‘I don’t think I’ve changed that much,’ Ben said, frowning to himself. ‘And even if I have, it’s probably due to having a child. Having a wife. It changes you. You can’t just carry on as you were – you have to adapt to your different circumstances.’
‘Matt and Freya don’t seem any different since Bertie came along,’ Charlotte countered.
‘Don’t they?’ Ben’s tone was wistful, full of longing and regret.
‘No. They’re just the same, with the addition of another little person. The only difference is that they miss you, particularly Matt.’
‘I miss them, too.’ The words came out automatically and Ben instinctively put a finger to his lips, as if to silence himself.
‘You don’t have to miss them, Ben. All you have to do is pick up the phone and they’ll be there, just like they always were.’
Ben gave a wan smile. ‘It’s not that simple.’
‘It is!’ Charlotte shot back. ‘It’s as simple as you want to make it.’
Ben didn’t reply and Charlotte could tell that his thoughts were rampaging through his head. Bella’s control and influen
ce over him were clearly stronger than she had ever imagined and Charlotte knew from experience that you didn’t manage to exert that kind of control over another person without using something stronger than just words.
They sat in silence for a while longer, listening to the rustle of the autumn breeze blowing through the trees, dislodging reddened leaves that floated down and carpeted the damp grass. There wasn’t much more she could do, other than reassure him that she would be there for him if he ever needed her. She started to get up and Ben’s hand flew to her arm. ‘Are you going?’ His eyes widened in panic.
‘Yes, I think I probably should.’ Charlotte stood up and put her cold hands deep into her pockets. She fixed Ben with a sympathetic look. ‘But, please will you promise to call me if you ever need to talk? You’ve got my number and I will always, always take your call. And text me so that I’ve got your new number, too, eh?’
Ben’s face creased and she thought for a moment that he might cry. ‘What? What’s the matter, Ben? Talk to me.’ She sat back down beside him and this time, she took his hand in hers. She could feel him trembling.
Ben shook his head, looking into his lap. ‘Nothing. I’m fine. Sorry.’
Charlotte rubbed his hand. The hand that had been so familiar to her for all those years. ‘Ben, is Bella … um, does she ever hurt you? Physically, I mean?’
Immediately, Ben tensed but he didn’t reply. He wouldn’t meet Charlotte’s eye and he had reddened slightly.
‘Remember that I’ve seen it before, Ben. At work. I’ve done stories on it in the past and you remind me of a man I once interviewed, who was in that situation. You don’t seem right, Ben. You seem unhappy. Worse, you seem scared.’
The fact that Ben didn’t immediately respond told Charlotte everything she needed to know. ‘I’m OK,’ he muttered.
Charlotte took a deep breath. ‘You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Ben. This is not your fault. But you don’t have to stay in this situation, either. You can leave.’
Ben gave a sad smile. ‘No, actually. I can’t. And that’s the reason why.’ He motioned towards Elodie, who was finally beginning to tire. She drew to a stop and slid off the horse, before running to Ben, who scooped her up onto his lap, where she snuggled into him, her thumb sliding into her mouth.