Torch Red: Color Me Torn with Bonus Content

by Melody Carlson

  I kind of frown, thinking this is a little out of the norm, but then I just shrug. “Yeah, sure, I guess I could do that.”

  Mrs. DeWalt smiles. “Thanks, Zoë. I knew you’d be the right girl for the job.”

  Then we go out to the office foyer and she introduces me to a pretty girl who’s wearing a very cool outfit. But I immediately see what Mrs. DeWalt is talking about. This girl definitely looks bummed about something. Maybe having to switch schools. Anyway, I decide that I’ll go out of my way to be really nice to Shawna.

  “What year are you?” I ask as we begin to walk down the hall.

  “Junior.”

  “Me too,” I say in my most cheerful voice. “It must be hard to move in your junior year.”

  “Yeah,” she answers in a glum voice.

  I make my best attempts at small talk as I show her the cafeteria, the classroom wings, the girls’ gym, and finally her next class, which happens to be the same as mine, but this girl seems determined not to be cheered up.

  “And this is English lit,” I finally tell her as we go into our second-period class. I nod to the old guy up front. I’ve heard they’ve tried to force him to retire, but he won’t give in. “Mr. Franklin comes across as kind of grouchy at first,” I whisper to her as we find seats. “But he’s really not so bad.”

  Then Shawna sort of smiles. “I guess you could say the same thing about me.”

  “Hey, don’t worry about it.” We sit next to each other. “It must be a drag changing schools.”

  She nods. “Yeah. It’s kind of hard.”

  Then Emily and Andrea come into the classroom and I quickly introduce them to Shawna. To my relief they both smile and even welcome her to our school.

  I pretty much hang with Shawna all morning and even invite her to join me and my friends for lunch. I’m thinking that she’s really a lot like the rest of my friends and actually seems to fit in pretty well. But I’m a little worried about girls like Thea and Kirsti. I mean Shawna is cool and everything, but she seems a little quiet and I’m not sure how she’ll react to their big mouths.

  “Where are you from?” asks Kirsti.

  “Jackson,” Shawna answers as she sticks a straw into her diet soda.

  “My cousin goes to Jackson,” Andrea says. “Maybe you know him.”

  Shawna kind of frowns now, like maybe she doesn’t want to talk about this, or maybe it’s depressing her.

  “I think it’s been hard on Shawna,” I say quickly, “I mean moving in the middle of the year.” I hope that Andrea will catch my drift. But unfortunately she doesn’t.

  “His name is Caleb Andrews,” she continues.

  To my relief, Shawna smiles. “Oh yeah. I know Caleb,” she says. “We even went out a few times last year.”

  “Really?” Andrea nods with approval. “I think he’s pretty popular over there.”

  “Yeah,” says Shawna. “He’s a cool guy. And nice too.”

  Well, that seems to settle it with Andrea. It’s like she’s completely accepted Shawna now. And if Andrea accepts someone, everyone else usually just follows along. Shawna tends to stick pretty close to me throughout the rest of the day, and I don’t really mind. In fact, I think I’m really starting to like this girl. After she lightened up I could see that she’s pretty funny. And she wasn’t even offended by Thea’s and Kirsti’s locker-room stupidity. Let me tell you, they were a little out of hand today. Fortunately for me, they were so busy yakking about their New Year’s Eve that they never even asked about mine.

  After school, Shawna offers me a ride home.

  “Good idea,” says Emily, my “sometimes ride.” “I mean since I’ve got cheerleading practice today.”

  “I used to be a cheerleader,” says Shawna in a flat voice.

  “Too bad you moved here too late to try out,” says Andrea. “Maybe next year.”

  “Yeah. Maybe.”

  Then I remember that today is tryouts for the spring play. “Hey, I’d love a ride, Shawna, but I was going to try out for the play this afternoon.”

  “Yeah,” says Emily, “Zoë is our drama queen.”

  “I am not.”

  “Yes, she is,” insists Andrea. “She’s really good too. You should’ve seen her in A Midsummer Night’s Dream as Puck last fall. She was totally amazing.”

  Now I’m feeling slightly embarrassed, although I don’t particularly mind the praise. Okay, maybe I am a little egotistical when it comes to my acting. “Well,” I say with a shrug. “I suppose I was okay.”

  “I was in a play once,” says Shawna.

  “Hey, maybe you’d like to audition too,” I suggest. “I mean I know you’re not in drama class, but maybe you could change your schedule if you’re interested.”

  “I guess I could check it out,” she says. “Do you mind if I tag along?”

  “Of course not.”

  As we walk toward the auditorium, I tell Shawna about Mr. Roberts. “He’s really cool,” I explain. “One of my favorite teachers.”

  “But he had you guys do A Midsummer Night’s Dream? Shakespeare sounds kind of boring to me.”

  “It wasn’t at all like you’d think. Mr. Roberts found this contemporary version of the play. It started out with us at a slumber party. Really, it was pretty cool.”

  “Oh.”

  “And Mr. Roberts wouldn’t tell us what the spring play is going to be. He said it was going to be a big surprise.”

  I am surprised to see how many kids are sitting in the auditorium. Usually drama tryouts aren’t this well attended. But today there are tons of kids and suddenly I feel a little worried, like maybe I won’t get such a good part.

  “We have something different in mind for the spring play,” begins Mr. Roberts from the stage. “Miss Lynnwood wants to partner with me to put on a musical.”

  A simultaneous groan comes from the section where we drama kids are sitting, and even Shawna looks disappointed.

  “A musical?” says Casey Renwick.

  “Now don’t start wigging out,” says Mr. Roberts. “I think we can make it a lot of fun.”

  I’m not entirely convinced. He hands the microphone to Miss Lynnwood, and I notice that he seems to look at her a bit longer than necessary. “I think he has a crush on Miss Lynnwood,” I whisper to Shawna, and she nods. I must admit that Miss Lynnwood is really pretty, but I just don’t see how that translates into this sudden need to do a musical.

  Somehow Miss Lynnwood manages to convince us that a musical isn’t a totally lame idea. She tells us how it will probably raise a lot of money for the drama department and how it’ll be great to have more kids involved, since even the school orchestra and dance team plan to participate.

  “It’s a big production, and we need dancers, actors, singers, musicians, set makers, wardrobe, and makeup,” she pauses, almost breathless. “And my choir kids already know some of the choruses.”

  That’s when I look around the auditorium and notice that Emily’s boyfriend, Todd Barker, is sitting in the front row, right next to Justin Clark, who is like the best-looking guy in Hamilton High, not to mention the star of last season’s football team. We’re talking a guy who’s really tight as well as totally cool. I can’t even believe these guys are actually here, although I do know that they’re both in choir.

  Well, suddenly I’m thinking that maybe this musical business won’t be so bad. Especially since I just heard that Justin broke up with Katy Abernathy during Christmas break.

  “Not bad,” whispers Shawna, and I realize that she’s caught me gaping at Justin Clark like a love-struck moron. Man, I just hope I’m not drooling!

  I give her a little smile and nod.

  “What’s his name?”

  I tell her, then stupidly mention that he’s available, but she assures me that she won’t interfere. “He’s not really my type,” she whispers. “But that guy sitting next to him sure is.”

  “Yeah, Todd’s pretty cute,” I tell her. “But he’s going out with Emily.” I
don’t mention that Emily is my best friend and I’m pretty protective of her.

  “Oh.” Shawna looks disappointed.

  Then suddenly Mr. Roberts is announcing the title of the musical that he and Miss Lynnwood have chosen, and it’s Oklahoma!

  “Isn’t that some corny old movie they made about a hundred years ago?” someone asks.

  “Don’t be too quick to judge,” says Miss Lynnwood. “It’s actually got a lot about relationships and sexual tension.”

  This makes us laugh, and Miss Lynnwood looks slightly embarrassed.

  “We’ve got some videos of the Hollywood version that can be checked out,” says Mr. Roberts as the audition scripts are passed around.

  And suddenly we’re breaking up into groups (dancers, singers, actors, and whatnot), and Mr. Roberts announces that those trying out for speaking parts have about forty minutes to rehearse some lines before tryouts officially begin.

  He explains who the main characters are, and I decide to try for the part of Laurey Williams (the girl’s romantic lead). To my dismay, Shawna decides to try out for the same role. But I don’t let her know as we practice our lines together—we’re supposed to do a romantic scene with the lead guy, whose name is Curly. And suddenly it’s time to try out.

  I feel about as nervous as usual until I realize that we’re not only doing lines, but that we’re also expected to sing! And while I’m not the worst singer in the world, I’m not exactly good. I mean I can carry a tune, and I like to sing in the shower or along with a good CD when no one’s around, but to stand there on the stage and actually sing in front of all these kids! That’s a little over the top. And to make matters worse, Miss Lynnwood expects us to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner”!

  I cringe as I hear Casey miss a note, and I figure that she’s not going to be too much competition now. But suddenly it’s my turn and I feel like I’m going to pass out.

  “Break a leg,” says Shawna with a wink.

  So, suddenly I find myself on the stage, and playing opposite me (as Curly) is Todd Barker. Well, at least that makes me feel more comfortable, since Todd’s a good friend, and I must admit that I do my lines pretty well, and I even manage to pull off a pretty good Oklahoma accent (or so I hope). And then it’s time to sing. Well, I tell myself, you can do this, Zoë. Just give it your best shot. So I step up to the piano, where Miss Lynnwood is accompanying, and do my best. And it’s really not so totally horrible and a couple of kids even clap.

  “My voice could probably use some work,” I say apologetically to Miss Lynnwood.

  “That was pretty good,” she assures me with a smile, and I feel a little bit hopeful.

  Then Todd sings and I can’t believe how good his voice is, not to mention he exudes confidence. I can’t wait to tell Emily what a great job he did today. I feel certain he’ll get the guy’s lead.

  Several other girls audition for Laurey’s role, and Becca Carter from choir does a great job singing, but she doesn’t really seem to have much spark when it comes to the lines. And then it’s Shawna’s turn and I feel nervous for her. I mean what must it feel like to not only be the new girl, but to also try out for a play—one where singing is involved? I hope she doesn’t embarrass herself.

  Then to my total amazement, she not only does the lines perfectly and believably, but she has a fantastic singing voice. The whole auditorium gets really quiet while she’s onstage, and then everyone claps when she’s finished.

  “Well, well,” says Mr. Roberts as he walks up to her with a big smile. “That was a pretty good performance, especially considering this is your first day at Hamilton High.”

  Everyone is congratulating her as if she already has the part, and I am feeling a mixture of things. Like kind of jealous, since I know she just aced me out of the part of Laurey, but I’m also glad for her because she looks truly happy for the first time today.

  The tryouts seem to go on and on, and I sit in the back of the auditorium and probably look like I’m sulking. I guess I just feel confused, like where do I fit in now that Shawna has stolen the show? Then Mr. Roberts announces that auditions will have to continue tomorrow. I slip out a side door, trying to avoid Shawna and dialing my mom on my cell phone as I go. Mostly I just want to get out of here. Maybe I won’t come back to auditions tomorrow. And if Shawna asks why I blew off her offer for a ride, I’ll just act like I forgot. I mean I used to know how to act.

  three

  IF THERE’S ONE THING I AM, I GUESS IT’S RESILIENT. I’M KIND OF LIKE Teflon, the way things can just slide off me sometimes. And I suppose that’s how I feel the next day. Like, hey, I’m not going down this easily. And so, at the end of the day, I go to the play auditions again. But after a while I start feeling discouraged again and suddenly I wonder why I even bothered to come. I mean I’m watching Shawna up there reading lines with guys like Justin and Todd, and I start coming a little unglued. It’s like she totally owns the show. Finally I take a seat toward the back and just sit there and wonder what hit me.

  “How’s it going, Zoë?”

  I turn to see my old band buddy Nate Stein slipping into the seat next to me.

  “Hey, Nate.” I try to smile. “What are you doing here?”

  “I thought I’d try for one of the singing roles,” he says. “Just for fun.”

  “Well, you’ve always been musical. Do you still have your band?”

  “Sort of. Our best drummer graduated and went off to college last year. But we’ve got a new guy who’s been jamming with us. He seems to have some potential.”

  I nod and try to look interested. And I am. Well, sort of. I suppose I’m somewhat amused that Nate actually took the time to come talk to me. But mostly I’m just feeling sorry for myself right now. And I’m just about ready to slip out the back door and pretend like I have absolutely no interest in being in this totally lame musical.

  “Your new friend is really something,” he continues. “That really took a lot of nerve for her to get up there on her first day. And she looks even more comfortable with it today.”

  I nod.

  “Zoë,” he begins, sounding a little hesitant. “It’s probably none of my business, but I think you should try out for another part.”

  I turn and study him, wondering what he could possibly know about something like this. I mean what is he? Some kind of Oklahoma! expert?

  “It’s just that I’ve been watching the auditions and I really think you’d be a good Ado Annie.”

  “Ado Annie?” I frown at him. Like what is that?

  “I heard Mr. Roberts saying it’s the second-best role for girls. I nabbed an audition script, and it sounds like she’s slightly comedic, and I heard Miss Lynnwood saying that whoever plays that part doesn’t even have to sing that well.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  He grins now. “Hey, you weren’t that bad.” Then he hands me a new script. “Take a look, Zoë. I bet you’d be perfect.”

  So I read through it and suddenly I’m thinking this Ado Annie chick sounds like fun.

  Once again, the tryouts seem to drag on forever, but I let Mr. Roberts know that I want a chance to try this other role, and finally I am invited onstage to audition for Ado Annie.

  To my relief I actually manage to get a couple of good laughs with my lines (I think Nate might be behind this), and then I go back and sit down, feeling certain that I could’ve done it better. But then I decide that I don’t really care how this thing goes. Maybe I can paint scenery or help with costumes. I mean there’s more to producing a play than just being onstage.

  “We’ll post a list tomorrow,” Mr. Roberts promises as everyone begins clearing out of the auditorium.

  “I’m sure you got the lead,” I say to Shawna as we go out the door.

  She just shrugs. “Oh, I don’t know.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. You were totally amazing!”

  “Really?” She actually seems unconvinced.

  I sort of laugh. “Hey, I’m not making this s
tuff up. And I think everyone else is pretty sure you’ll get the part too.”

  “Are you mad at me?”

  I firmly shake my head. “Not at all. I’m happy for you. And now I’m hoping I’ll get the part of Ado Annie. She sounds like a real character to me.”

  “You were totally great as Ado.” Shawna takes her keys from her purse. “Do you want a ride home?”

  I can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s thinking about yesterday. “Sure,” I say. Then I smack myself in the forehead like I just remembered something. “That’s right, you were going to give me a ride yesterday. Man, I just totally forgot.”

  She smiles now. “That’s okay. I figured that was probably what happened.”

  So I suppose I’ll have to think of a different resolution for this new year. Well.

  As Shawna drives me home, she asks about Emily and Todd’s relationship. Like, are they really that serious? And how long have they been going out? And didn’t I think Todd was really hot? Stuff like that.

  “Look,” I finally say. “I can’t tell you what to do, Shawna, but you need to understand that Emily is my best friend, and out of respect for Emily, I’m strongly suggesting that you keep your distance from Todd.”

  She nods. “Yeah. You’re probably right. I was just curious about how serious they are. And Todd seems cool with being friends with me.”

  “Well, I’m sure he likes you. And if he gets cast as Curly, which seems pretty likely, you guys will be spending a lot of time together.” Hint-hint. Seriously, I want to know how she plans to handle this.

  “Don’t worry, Zoë. I promise not to seduce him or anything.” She grins as she pulls her car into my driveway.

  “I’m sure we’d all appreciate that.” I smile. “Thanks for the ride.”

  “Thanks for inviting me to audition!”

  By the end of the week, I decide that Miss Lynnwood actually had the right idea to do a big musical like this. Already it’s way more fun having all these other kids around. It’s like this nonstop party. Oh, we have to work, of course. And it’s a lot harder than usual, since our parts include lots of singing and dancing. But it’s turning out to be really fun.