The Practical Spy

by Doug Walker

CHAPTER EIGHT

  President Warren was not without eyes on the ground in Israel, and she learned immediately that Orson had been incarcerated. Her first move was to put out the word to slow all military and non-military aid to Israel, including and particularly fiscal aid.

  The she called her secretary of state and asked that the ambassador to Israel be recalled for routine talks. “Don’t mention my name, just get him on board a plane for Dulles within twenty-four hours. Let me know when he’s airborne.”

  The ambassador was career foreign service named Kerry Rosenberg. He was the leader of a quartet referred to as the Four Horsemen, all-American Jews who had been there seemingly forever and were more helpful to Israel than they were to the States.

  The following day the secretary of state called and said Rosenberg was indeed on a plane and it would land at Dulles in a few hours.

  “Book him a hotel room at the airport, then get him on a plane for Brazil as soon as possible he’ll be the new ambassador down yonder.”

  A short pause while the secretary gathered his wits. “This is outside of protocol. We need to talk to Rosenberg, and then submit papers to the Brazilian government. You don’t just move employees around like chessmen.”

  “True. We don’t usually. He can stay at the embassy getting acquainted while you do the paperwork. We do need an ambassador in Brazil. The post is vacant.”

  “I’ve been working on it, seeking a senior employee who speaks Portuguese.”

  “Rosenberg is sharp. He’ll pick up the language.”

  “But his family’s in Israel.”

  “You can arrange for them to follow. No problem.”

  “I’m sorry, Mary, but I can’t have this. I’m secretary of state and you’re encroaching on my territory.”

  “So I’ll look for someone who agrees with their President. I want your resignation on my desk by ten a.m. tomorrow. Don’t fail.” She slammed down the phone. Her secretary was standing by her desk. She looked up and said, “I’m in no mood to be trifled with. Hold my calls.”

  Two hours later, after making a frantic attempt to reach her by phone, the secretary of state waited in her outer office. After half an hour he was admitted.

  The President gave him a sour look and almost shouted, “I’m damn mad at the Israelis and their highhanded ways. Now you turn on me. Don’t sit down.”

  “I’m sorry I made an issue out of such a trivial matter. I’ve already ordered a room for Rosenberg and booked him a flight to Brazil. He balked at first, but I told him it was my way or the highway. I didn’t involve you.”

  “Ok. Have a seat. Would you like coffee?”

  “Sure.”

  She buzzed her secretary and ordered coffee and a strudel or something strudel-like.

  “You’re aware of the Four Horsemen in the Israeli embassy?”

  “Of course. Everyone is. They think they’re working for Israel. So does Israel. Anything they want, Israel gives them. I really didn’t think I could do anything about that, being fairly new on the job and all.”

  “Their leader will soon be in Brazil unless he retires. So the other three… I want one sent to China, one sent to India and the third horseman, a woman I believe, sent to South Africa.”

  The secretary of state was tempted to burst out laughing, but instead he said, “That sounds reasonable. I’ll probably have to wait until tomorrow to set the wheels in motion.”

  “No problem as long as they’re out of Israel by sundown tomorrow. You might book their flights yet today.”

  “Good idea, Mary. Any idea about their replacements?”

  “At least one black and one Asian. Maybe a Muslim and a Catholic. No Jews.”

  “Splendid. I appreciate advice like that.”

  “Of course you have some flexibility.

  The coffee arrived, and the secretary filled their cups and offered condiments. There were two tart types, cherry and maybe apricot, although it was hard to tell.

  “Yes, I’m free to make my own decisions, within reason of course.”

  “Certainly. You have a big department to run and you’re doing a superb job. A big, expensive department. I know you’ve been mentioned as a presidential candidate.”

  “I can’t stop those rumors.”

  “We should get together more often. If the press asks, please praise Rosenberg to the heavens and say he’s the right man at the right time for our important South American neighbor. I believe it’s the largest Catholic country in the world.”

  “I’ve heard that too. I love this tart. It might be apricot.”

  Two days drifted by with the press clamoring to ask a few questions. The President told her press secretary to simply suggest that she was mad as hell at Israel for obvious reasons. That she would hold a press conference within the week.

  On the morning of the third day her secretary said that the Israeli ambassador was in the outer office complaining that his phone calls and e-mails had gone unanswered.

  “What seems to be his problem?”

  “He’s fuming over foreign aid, the shake-up in our embassy over there and several other things.”

  “Is he alone?”

  “No, that woman, Sylvia something, is with him, the so-called Stately Israeli.”

  Mary almost giggled. “His secretary and his mistress. Tell him to calm down. Someone will be with him in a few moments.” She hung up and called the head of Secret Service. “Ted, Mary Warren. The Israeli ambassador and his girlfriend Sylvia are in my outer office. I’m declaring them both personae non gratae. Send as many men as you need, confiscate their cell phones, take them to Andrews and put them on the first flight out of this country.”

  “Is this a gag?”

  “No. I’m deadly serious. I’m mad as hell at Israel and I don’t care who knows it. Don’t let them communicate with anyone. Get them on that plane!”

  “Bound for?”

  “Ted, does the first plane out confuse you. Are you ready for retirement?”

  “No Ma’am. Your orders will be followed.”

  “To the letter, and be sure and tell them that I’m mad as hell at Israel and that they are personae non gratae, the two of them, the happy couple.”

  Although the walls and doors were sturdy, she thought she heard shouting in the outer office a few minutes later.

  By the next morning word had leaked out about the ouster. It seemed the ambassador and his girlfriend had been placed on a flight to Gitmo and there remained overnight.

  There was a question from the commander down there as to what to do with them. Water board them? Push them off the beach in a life raft? Organize a firing squad?

  She passed the word to get them to either Havana or Jamaica, both fairly close.

  Her next move was to call the head of Homeland Security and inform him that there had been a serious terrorist threat.

  “What sort of threat?”

  “Because of the source, Stuart, I’m not free to divulge details at this time. But I can recommend action. We want no more Israeli planes to land at JFK, LaGuardia or Newark for the present. If any are in the air, divert them out of the country.”

  “My God, Madame President, Israel is our firm ally.”

  “More or less a one-way street, Stuart. We’re their ally. Many times they act against their own interests and ours. Now do what I ask and do it right away.”

  “To where might we divert these planes?”

  “I’d suggest Iceland or Miami.”

  “Ma’am, Miami is in the U.S.”

  “More or less. It’s way down that Florida peninsula, almost in the water. It’s a fun place. Very little bad ever happens there. You know they’ve fixed it so most folks in that state can’t vote. To vote you must be able to find a polling place, find it when it’s open, have various forms of ID, some of which are known only to the informed few.”

  “Iceland or Miami. I get you.”

  “Or anyplace in Canada will do.”

  “Perhaps Yellow Knife.”r />
  “Don’t be sarcastic, Stu. It’s unbecoming.”

  “Aye-aye, Sir.”

  Mary was smiling broadly when she hung up the phone. She had always been a hell-raiser and what better place to do it – the Oval Office. But her heart was with Israel’s seven million souls. She believed firmly in peace. And she had earned her right to sit in this chair. The chair of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, not to mention Jackson.

  By the next morning the media’s clamor for information had grown to a thunderous cry. What was the dire threat that involved Israel?

  She told Derik, her press secretary to plead national security and hint that it was because of Israel’s intransigence in seeking peace. All aid to Israel had stopped at this point and Jewish leaders from various parts of the country had flown into Washington and were holding a rally in the ballroom of the Hilton.

  Stuart called and asked if El Al and other Israeli planes could continue to land in Miami.

  “Of course not, Stu. That was only for planes already airborne. They can continue to land in Iceland. Then maybe Havana, Mexico City, Managua or some other hell hole will welcome them.”

  “Anywhere, but not the States?”

  “Right. I’ll be holding a press conference soon. I’m simply waiting for the mud to settle, for the water to clear, there seems to be a lot of turmoil in the political world. For your information, the terrorist threat was related to LaGuardia. But I felt it best to make it widespread because terrorists can change their minds.”

  “Why LaGuardia?”

  “It seems to be a matter of location. It’s on the waterfront of both Flushing and Bowery bays. It’s also near East Elmhurst where there’s been some questionable activity. But you should already have known this.”

  “So many hours in the day, so many days in the week, so many potential terrorists, so many wannabes. I’m sure we’re watching LaGuardia and East Elmhurst. We’re watching here, there and everywhere and everyone’s watching us. This is a watch bird, watching you.”

  “Cool it, Stu. Call ally-ally in free when it’s safe to come out again.”

  The following day, President Mary Warren held her press conference at ten in the morning. She strode to her podium, surveyed the packed room, many standing at the rear and around the walls, then repeated, “You all may have heard that I’m angry with the government of Israel. Not the Israeli people, but their government.

  “From Morocco to Afghanistan, from the Caspian Sea to Aden, that’s 5.25 million square miles embracing 330 million Arabs, but not all Arabs, but people thought to be ranged against Israel. Most of them would welcome peace and a two-state solution.”

  A man against the wall began shouting angrily about Arab terrorists. The President said nothing while he was being removed by security.

  “So,” she continued, “We have Israel – 8,000 square miles, seven million people, maybe a fifth of them Arab. And Arab is simply a convenient term.”

  Another loud outburst from someone in the rear of the room.

  “This is not a town hall meeting. This is a gathering for members of the Fourth Estate, print and electronic media. Somehow the room has been loaded with ringers. When I get to the bottom of this, heads may roll. I have been eager to put my story before the public via the free and unfettered press. To say what a despicable snub the Israel prime minister has offered up to me, the President of these United States. But now, with this unruly crowd somehow invading the pressroom, I must postpone the conference to a time when legitimate press members only are present. Thank you.”

  With deliberation, she exited the room, amid a cacophony of mindless shouts.