by M. E. Carter
“I don’t know.” Jaxon picks up a fry and pops it in his mouth. “We had to go through such terrible shit to find each other. Do you ever wish you could go back and change it?”
I have to think on that. Giving myself a few minutes to chew, I come up with the most honest answer I can. “I don’t know. Would I change the part about that Ron guy? Yeah. That wasn’t fun.”
He nods in agreement, still devouring our cheesy fries.
“But you were at the club that night. So was I. Who’s to say our paths wouldn’t have crossed a different way, ya know? Do I regret going to Ambrosia? No. Do I regret that we didn’t catch each other’s eye before…you know? Of course. It would have been nice to have met you differently. Why? Where is this coming from?”
He wipes his greasy hands on a napkin. “Nowhere, really. I guess my philosophy class is making me think about different ‘what if’ scenarios.”
“I thought you hated that class and cursed the day you thought it would be an easy elective.” I wave my hands in the air exaggeratedly like he did after reading the synopsis on the first day. Turns out, it’s not a space-filler class after all, but it wasn’t “fact-based” either. All “speculation shit,” is what he called it. “Wasn’t it you who said speculation gets you nowhere?”
“It doesn’t.” He chuckles. “But fuck me if it hasn’t made my head go all swirly with different possibilities.”
The door swings open, and a couple about our age comes walking in. It’s clear from their body language and shy looks that this is a first date. Jaxon follows my gaze. “What are you looking at?”
“Young love,” I respond with a flutter of my eyelashes. “It’s cute seeing new couples who still aren’t very sure of themselves. Reminds me of our younger years.”
He snorts a laugh. “I thought I was the one taking philosophy. You sound like my crackpot professor.”
I shrug. “You’ve rubbed off on me. But seriously. Turn the question back around to you. Do you regret the way we met?”
“Not for a second,” he immediately responds.
“Wow. You certainly knew that answer fast.”
“The only thing I wish is that I’d seen it all happen sooner.”
“I know, babe,” I say quietly and put my hand on his arm. “But I’m fine, remember? We’re fine.”
He nods and looks at his fries. It’s been close to two months since the trial ended and our lives returned to normal. Well, with a little extra unwanted notoriety.
We don’t talk about it much. We’re ready to put it behind us. But it does come up. Regardless of the closure, that doesn’t mean the issues aren’t still there. Every day we’re a little stronger. Sometimes we just have to take a minute to regroup.
Just as the DA had anticipated and warned us, that Ron guy and his defense team filed an appeal. It doesn’t mean we have to do anything, but it put Jaxon on edge. I know he’s worried, but appeals can go on for years. It’s nothing we’ll necessarily have to deal with, just continue to stay informed.
I glance over at the television, waiting for the commercial break to be over. Why does it always seem like halftime takes forever?
I catch myself watching the couple that came in. They’re cute together. She looks like she is a social butterfly, big smile, bright eyes. He looks like the quiet guy, shy smile, thinks she hung the moon.
As she turns around to put her purse on the back of her chair, it happens in just a second. I blink in disbelief.
“Jax,” I say quickly and smack his arm multiple times, demanding he pay attention.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Ohmygod, Jax, that guy. The new couple…”
“Uh huh.”
“He put something in her drink.”
My heart is racing. I don’t know what to do.
Jaxon looks at them then leans over the table, speaking quietly. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Why are you asking me? Do you not believe me?”
He grabs my hand to calm me. “Stop. You’re right. It was a reactionary response. What do you want to do?”
“I want to run screaming over there and dump the drink out.”
He chuckles. “Let’s be realistic. We don’t want to scare her. We’ve got to handle this delicat—”
“Shit, Jax, she just took a drink.”
He tosses his napkin on the table. “Fuuuck. Okay, keep an eye on her. I’m going to tell the manager.”
I nod but don’t take my eyes off that table. I watch as she talks and jokes with this guy, not knowing what’s happening and what’s at risk. Every time she takes a sip, I cringe, but I have to wait for Jaxon. Getting the police is the number one priority. I don’t want to scare this guy off before they get here.
What pisses me off is how he sits there smiling at her like nothing is wrong. Like he hasn’t done anything illegal. And then I see it when it happens. She puts a hand on her forehead, and I know what she’s feeling. That the drug is already taking effect.
Jaxon slides back into the booth. “The manager has called the cops. We just have to play it cool.”
I shake my head vehemently. “We can’t play it cool, babe.”
“How come?”
“She’s already starting to black out. I have to go help her.”
He looks at me for a second, making sure I’m emotionally ready for this then gestures with his head. “Go. I’m right behind you.”
Without looking back, I walk straight up to their table and lie through my teeth. “Hi! Don’t I know you from campus?”
The girl looks up at me with a bright smile and crinkled eyebrows. Her cheeks are flushed and she’s clearly feeling confused. “Uh, I don’t know. Do we have a class together?”
“Maybe. I’m Annika. Annika Leander.”
“Hi, I’m Paige and this is my friend, Trevor.”
“What’s up?” Trevor asks, popping his head up the way guys do to say hi.
“Hm. Well, maybe not.” I’m running out of time, so I give up the act. “Listen, Paige. I have bad news for you.”
“Uh huh.” I can tell by the look in her eyes she’s getting drowsy.
“Trevor here put something in your drink.”
“What the fuck?” Trevor yells as Paige says, “What?”
“You’re feeling kind of nauseous and your head is spinning, like it’s about to float away?” She nods at me. “Yeah, someone did that to me too. That’s the date rape drug hitting your system.”
“I…what?” I can hear the panic in her voice, so I rush to reassure her.
“Listen to me, Paige. Since I saw him do it—”
“You fucking bitch!” He slams his fist on the table and stands up. “You’re lying!”
I say sweetly, “I wouldn’t go anywhere Trevor. My boyfriend, Jaxon, is right behind you.” Jaxon gives a menacing wave when Trevor looks over his shoulder, surprised to see someone standing behind him. “And he doesn’t take too kindly to men who roofie women. You might want to turn around.”
Returning my attention back to the victim, I kneel down in front of her, take her hands in mine and say, “Paige, we’ve already called the cops and an ambulance is on the way. You’re going to feel really groggy, but I don’t want you to be scared. I’m not going to leave your side. Is there someone I can call?”
Her eyes get heavy, and I know she’s close to passing out. “Bethany. Call Bethany.”
“Okay. I’ll call Bethany and go with you to the hospital.”
“Okay,” she says and collapses in my arms, out like a light. I look up and Trevor is staring at me, daggers in his eyes.
“I didn’t do anything, you stupid bitch.”
Jaxon drops his hand on Trevor’s shoulder and forces his back into the chair. Hard. “I’d think twice about calling my girlfriend a bitch. Especially when the cops are here.”
A couple of police officers walk into the restaurant and the manager immediately greets them, leading them over to the table.
The next few minute
s are a whirlwind of activity as police officers, detectives, and paramedics infiltrate Buck’s. As Trevor is hauled away in handcuffs, the glasses are carefully collected as evidence.
When the paramedics load Paige up on the gurney, I see the concern in Jaxon’s eyes. He walks up to me. “Are you sure you want to go to the hospital? Are you okay?”
“I’m good, baby, I promise.” Reaching up, I rub my hands across his cheeks. “I’m just glad we were here at the right time, ya know?”
“I know.” And there’s no doubt in my mind he knows exactly what I’m feeling and why this feels vindicating.
“Which hospital are we going to?” I ask the paramedic.
“Just right here to Memorial.”
Turning back to Jaxon I say, “Meet me at the hospital? I’m gonna need a ride after her friend Bethany gets there.”
He laughs even though the situation isn’t funny at all. “Do you feel the same weird déjà vu I’m feeling?”
I kiss him lightly on the lips as the gurney is pulled away. “It’s not déjà vu, but it’s definitely full circle. See you there.”
He nods once and turns back to the police, who begin questioning him about what he saw.
There’s no doubt in my mind that we’re going to end up back in the news. But this time, I don’t mind. If the last year has taught me anything, it’s to keep my wits about me, but also to never assume that anyone has your back. And that translates to never assuming anyone else’s back is covered either.
I will live with the fact that I am victim number two for the rest of my life. What I do with that is up to me.
And Jaxon coming along with me for that journey—that’s just a matter of the Hart.
The End
Author’s Note
I know what you’re thinking about—Brock Turner. Am I right? He’s the kid that was convicted of drugging and raping the unconscious woman behind a dumpster and was given six months in jail as his punishment.
Annika and Jaxon’s story wasn’t inspired by him. However, he plays an important role. Let me explain:
There was actually another story in the news, although it wasn’t nearly as sensational as the Brock Turner case, where someone who worked at a bar stopped an assault in action in an alley. THAT’S where the original idea for this story came from. It was a couple years ago and for the life of me I even remember what state it was in. I just remember reading the story and thinking two things: Good for him. And I wonder if two people are ever brought together by circumstances like this.
That’s how most of my story ideas start… with a little spark from real life. But with this one, I didn’t have anywhere for the story to “land” for a long time. I had no characters to go along with the idea. So I let it sit.
Fast forward to this past year when I went on a small vacation and met a group of women who were as different as different can be yet were the best of friends. I only spent a couple hours with them, but it was done. Those women inspired me. And the story idea that sparked from a real-life event had a place to land.
Back to Brock Turner… while I was writing this book, he decided to ask for a re-trial because he didn’t rape her BEHIND a dumpster. He did it out in the open. That was his defense. That he wasn’t hiding anything because he wasn’t ashamed so surely he did nothing wrong. Of course my thought was, “that makes you even less capable of making good moral decisions than I originally thought.” And my heart broke for the victim because once again, her life is turned upside down.
Also during this time, the #metoo campaign and #timesup campaigns took off. Harvey Weinstein was outed along with dozens and dozens of other perpetrators in Hollywood.
I tried very hard to stay away from it all, not wanting any of it to bleed into Annika’s story because, fictional as she may be, it’s her story and hers alone. But it became clear while writing that the telling of it wasn’t just timely, it was heartbreaking because it resonates with way too many women.
In fact, the day after I wrote Annika’s victim speech, Aly Raisman read hers in a court room. I still refuse to read it because I don’t want to accidentally pick up on certain things during the editing process. That would be a slap in the face to Ms. Raisman and I refuse to do that. (However, after this is printed, I will be reading as many of them as I can. Their words need to be heard)
So here we are, with a story that was as heartbreaking to write as much as it was empowering, and was terribly, terribly true to life for too many people. Including the part about victim’s paying for their own hospital bills.
Yes, you read that right. At the time of printing, rape kits are supposed to be funded by each state and paid for out of state funds. However, because of varying insurance and other issues, this isn’t always the case in every state. Not to mention, the average sexual assault still costs the victim close to $1000, even when filing with private insurance.
This needs to change. It MUST change. And the first step is joining in on the conversations.
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, I’d like to thank the people of Sony for designing my tiny little $15 voice recorder. After wiping the first 25 thousand words on this book accidentally one night (because we all need a village idiot, and apparently that’s me), your product changed my entire process. I should get kickbacks from your sales because I tell everyone about it.
Brenda Rothert and Marisol Scott – You two brain stormed with me more than once when I got stuck. You told me what didn’t work and when the story was just “meh”. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being honest and hashing this shit out with me! It would have never turned out this way if not.
Andrea Johnston and Kate Spitzer – Good lord, I couldn’t manage without your daily motivations and laugher. For real. I need so many handlers to live this crazy life and I’m so glad it’s you two that handle me best.
Mel Knight and Katie Pettigrew – Technology, yo. I still can’t do it. I’m so glad you guys can. Thank you for always keeping my website, calenders, schedules in tip top shape.
Allison Janes – Shut up and take me out for sushi.
Carter’s Cheerleaders – The best group of people that ever turned into friends. I love you guys, so, so much. You give me motivation every single day.
Nerdy Little Book Herd – The best group of people that ever made me laugh daily! I love that we’re so drama free and focused on the love of the written word. And wine. And tacos.
The Walk – You ladies changed my life in ways you don’t even know. That sounds cheesy and over the top but just knowing you’re there and you understand my heart at its core… it means everything.
Give Me Books – For being the best darn PR company out there. You believed in me even before I found you guys. And you accept me for who I am (#hotmessexpress). Thank you for helping me wrap my brain around what we’re doing. lol
Erin Noelle – I wasn’t kidding when I said I wouldn’t be growing as a writer if it weren’t for you. Thank you for believing in my work and in me.
Karen Lawson – I can’t believe you found that plot hole!! Nicely done, friend. Nicely done.
Amélie Vahle – Holy. Crap. You have the most amazing set of last eyes. Seriously. I’m gonna start calling you “Eagle Eyes Vahle”.
Julie Titus – You’re the best. That’s all.
Murphy Rae – I should have known better than to question this cover pic.
Alyssa Garcia of Uplifting Designs – I am in awe of how much knowledge you have. I am in awe of how much you share it. I am in awe that you give me the time of day. I am in awe that you let me process, even when I’m wrong, and help me come to the right decisions, knowing what my end goal is. Enjoy those unicorns. It’s the only thing I have to give, but you deserve so much more.
My family – This has been a trying couple of years. It will be a trying for a couple more. But in the end, I’m glad I’m doing it with you guys. Even if I pretty much want to shank all of you on a regular basis. (Oh don’t lie. You want to shank me, to
o)
God – So many blessings amid the storm. So many ways I’m seeing you work. So many ways I feel peaceful under bad circumstances. Please keep giving me peace that passes all understanding.
About the Author
Mother, reader, storyteller—ME Carter never set out to write books. But when a friend practically forced a copy of Twilight into her hands, the love of the written word she had lost as a child was rekindled. With a story always rolling around in her head, it should come as no surprise that she finally started putting them on paper. She lives in Texas with her four children, Mary, Elizabeth, Carter and Bug, who sadly was born long after her pen name was created, and will probably need extensive therapy because of it.
You can follow her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/authorMECarter,
on Twitter at https://twitter.com/AuthorMECarter,
Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/authormecarter/?hl=en
or email her at [email protected]
Other Titles by M.E. Carter
Hart Series
Change of Hart
Hart to Heart
Texas Mutiny Series
Juked
Groupie
Goalie
Megged
#MyNewLife Series
Getting a Grip
Balance Check
Pride & Joie