Let It Be Me

by Becky Wade

  Things could and did go wrong with his patients’ health, but to this day, he had this. He could still control his lawn.

  “Ben and some of our other friends are coming by any minute,” he said. “They’re going to help me trim the hedges and plant flowers.”

  “Sounds like you’ve compiled a whole landscaping team.” She paused in front of the entry to look up at the structure. “Your house is gorgeous.”

  Her compliment pleased him more than anything had in weeks. “Thank you.”

  “Did you hire an architect to draw up plans?”

  “Yes. I was not an easy client. I’m sure she was glad to get rid of me.” He held the front door open for her.

  Inside the foyer, he grabbed his T-shirt off the small table next to the door. In one fluid movement, he pulled it over his head.

  “May I have a tour?” she asked, then added, “Is that a presumptuous thing to request?” before he could respond to her first question.

  “I’d be glad to give you a tour.”

  He wanted to take her face in his hands and make out with her. Instead, he led her to the one-story side of his house. While she was distracted, looking at the surroundings, he studied her gentle profile. Her opinion of his place meant something to him. It felt as if he was watching her open a gift he’d given her.

  “It’s fabulous the way the ceiling’s vaulted and supported with all those beams,” she said. “And I like how this whole area is just one open space. Kitchen, dining room, sitting area.”

  “This is the part of the house I use the least.”

  “Oh?”

  “If I were married or had a family, it would probably be the part of the house I’d use the most. As it is, I’m usually here alone. I don’t have much use for a dining room table or a sitting area.”

  “What about the kitchen? Do you cook?”

  “Not really. You?”

  “Not really.” They made their way to the two-story wing.

  Downstairs, he showed her the half bath and the den where he watched TV. Upstairs, they walked through the guest bedroom, connecting bathroom, and the room that served as his office. Then they stepped into his master bedroom, which thankfully, he kept clean.

  He wouldn’t have thought twice about showing anyone else his bedroom. But this was Leah. The fact that he was showing her his bedroom made this seem intimate. Irrational things he’d never say out loud crammed into his head. Marry me. Sleep here with me. Live here with me.

  They reached the landing at the top of the stairs. “I love your house,” she told him. “You and the architect who was glad to get rid of you did an excellent job.”

  Their eyes held. For a split second his brain blanked, and he couldn’t find words. “Have . . . have you learned anything new about Jonathan and Trina Brookside since I saw you last?”

  “Not much. I visited the house where they lived twenty-eight years ago and found pictures of Trina and Sophie online.”

  He wanted to say, “Please let me know how I can help.” But he only let himself nod.

  He heard the back door open.

  Ben, no doubt. He needed to give his friend warning. “Look who was walking down my street,” Sebastian called as he and Leah made their way downstairs.

  Right when they reached the foyer, Ben came into view. He hesitated for only a moment before a grin broke across his face. “Leah! Great to see you.”

  “You too,” she answered, hugging him.

  They stepped apart. “I didn’t think I’d get to see you until Wednesday,” Ben said.

  “Same.”

  Sebastian’s gut knotted. Ben filled Sebastian in on a lot of aspects of his life, but he no longer spoke about Leah. Until Leah had mentioned her date with Ben earlier, he hadn’t known about it.

  “How was your trip?” Ben asked.

  While she described a few of the highlights, she pulled out her phone to find some photos to share.

  Ben took the opportunity to send Sebastian a look that said, What are you doing with my girl?

  When Leah returned her phone to her arm band, Ben’s friendly expression snapped back into place.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Sebastian asked.

  “Water would be great.”

  In his kitchen, he surveyed his pantry. “What about something to eat? I’ve got crackers, sunflower seeds, protein powder, collagen.” He considered the contents of his fridge. “Greek yogurt, leftover chicken and rice, olive tapenade.” He motioned to the bowl on the counter. “Clementines, bananas, sweet potato.”

  “Collagen and sweet potato, please.” Leah spoke from her position across the island next to Ben.

  Ben bent at the waist, chuckling.

  Sebastian arched a brow. He wasn’t above a challenge. “I can make you a collagen shake—”

  “No, no, no,” she said. “Just water and a few crackers, please.”

  “Ben?” Sebastian asked.

  “I’ll have a banana.”

  He passed out water and food, glad for the chance to give her something, even something small.

  They stood around the island, snacking, talking. The whole time, Sebastian could sense Ben’s suspicion.

  Leah looked between them with interest. “How long have you two been friends?”

  “Nineteen years,” Sebastian answered.

  “I’m envious. I wish I’d had a friendship like yours.”

  “How come you didn’t?” Sebastian asked.

  “I made some good friends back when I was around the same age that you were when you became friends. But then we all went separate directions when we were eighteen. One of them lives in California. One in Florida. One in New York. I’ve kept in touch with most of them, but less and less as the years passed.” She adjusted her barrette. “I’m convinced that you two are the gold standard in male friendships.”

  It didn’t feel like that at the moment, since he was certain Ben wanted to punch him and he’d like to punch Ben back.

  “Nah,” Ben said good-naturedly. “We’re not the gold standard. We’re just two normal guys.”

  “Who were rescued from earthquake rubble by a supernatural act of God?” she asked dryly.

  Ben released an amused whistle.

  “What do you like best about each other?” she asked.

  “I like that Ben’s loyal,” Sebastian said.

  “Sebastian’s determined. More than any other person I know, he gets things done.”

  “Okay. So what drives you crazy about the other?”

  Ben lifted his eyebrows. “You really want to stir that pot?”

  “I do. What drives you crazy about Sebastian?”

  “He’s opinionated, and he’ll fight for his side, even when he’s wrong.”

  “That’s true,” Sebastian told her.

  “What drives you crazy about Ben?” She broke a cracker in half and popped a piece into her mouth.

  “Instead of confronting me, he’ll sometimes stay quiet about the things I do that bother him.”

  “Also true,” Ben said.

  She ate the rest of the cracker.

  “Have you demoted us from the gold standard?” Sebastian asked.

  “Not in the least.”

  “I realize that I haven’t known you as long as I’ve known Sebastian,” Ben said to her. “But you do have a friend in me, Leah.”

  “I know,” she said. “I’m thankful.”

  If these two became a couple, he’d have to see them together often. If they married, he’d attend their wedding. Then he’d visit them at their first house. Then he’d hold their baby in his arms.

  The thought filled his body with a wash of dismay.

  A knock sounded, immediately followed by the whoosh of the front door. “We’re here!” a feminine voice called.

  “In the kitchen,” Ben called back.

  Natasha and her younger sister, Genevieve, pulled up short when they saw a stranger in their midst.

  Ben performed the introductions, finishin
g with, “This is Leah Montgomery, the most outstanding advanced math teacher in Georgia.”

  Understanding swept across both sisters’ faces as they realized that this was the Leah Ben had been talking about for months.

  “I’m delighted to meet you,” Genevieve said.

  “Ben’s great, isn’t he?” Natasha asked.

  “We adore Ben,” Genevieve explained.

  “Can you confirm my suspicion that Ben’s the best science teacher in Georgia?” Natasha asked.

  “Since I’m not acquainted with all the science teachers in Georgia,” Leah answered, “I’m afraid that I can’t say that definitively. But my best guess is yes.”

  “I knew it,” Natasha said to Ben.

  “We knew it,” Genevieve corrected.

  “Are you here to help us with yard work?” Natasha asked Leah.

  “If not, you’re still allowed to stay.” Genevieve lifted the stack of cookies she’d brought from Tart Bakery. “I came under the guise of planting flowers, but I’m mostly planning to eat cookies, talk, and maybe drink iced tea.”

  “I don’t have iced tea,” Sebastian said.

  “Dream killer,” Genevieve murmured.

  “Actually,” Leah said, “I was out walking when Sebastian saw me, and I stopped to chat. I have a few more miles to go, so I’ll head out.”

  “We’ll be trimming hedges,” Ben said to Leah. “I know you can’t resist trimming hedges.”

  “Amazingly, I can.” Her lips curved. “Thanks for the house tour and the food, Sebastian.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Her gaze remained on him. “I’ll be driving to Atlanta next month so that Dylan can tour colleges. I’ve been trying to introduce him to various career tracks in a desperate attempt to motivate him and was wondering if it might be possible to bring him by your hospital while we’re there.”

  “Of course,” Sebastian answered. “Just text me and let me know when you’d like to come by.”

  “Will do.”

  “We’ll walk you out.” Genevieve and Natasha ushered her away before Sebastian could say good-bye. “Here, let me give you my number!” Genevieve said, then the sound of feminine voices faded to quiet.

  Ben frowned at him. “Dude.”

  “Everything happened the way she said. I was trying to get my lawnmower to start. I looked up, and I saw her walking by.”

  “What was she doing, walking in this part of town? She doesn’t live anywhere near here.”

  “She told me she gets bored walking her neighborhood, so she likes to branch out and walk other people’s neighborhoods.”

  “Seems like a weird coincidence that she walked right by your house.”

  “I agree.”

  “What were you guys doing upstairs?”

  “She asked for a tour of the house.”

  Ben’s mouth tensed. “Is anything going on between you two?”

  “No.”

  Long pause. “Okay,” Ben said.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.” Ben had always been slow to anger and quick to let anger go.

  Natasha and Genevieve returned. “Ben!” Genevieve took hold of his shoulders. “She’s beautiful.”

  “She really is,” Natasha echoed.

  “I’m glad you two finally got to meet her,” Ben said.

  The sisters went on and on about Leah.

  Natasha, a mother of two, was currently on leave from practicing law. She was fit, blond, practical, and, in his opinion, slightly eccentric. She’d completed what she’d called “A Year of Living Austenly,” and this year had kicked off “A Year of Living C. S. Lewisly.” A few weeks back, she’d told him about the theology she’d been reading, the letters she’d been writing, and her determination to smoke a pipe before the year was out.

  Natasha’s younger sister, Genevieve, had long hair, browner at the top and blonder at the bottom. He’d never caught her without makeup, nail polish, earrings, and a coordinated outfit. Outgoing and self-deprecating, she’d surprised him by building an extremely successful career as a Bible study author and Christian speaker.

  “So, what’s the latest with you and Leah?” Natasha asked Ben. She and Genevieve settled on the island’s stools. “Any change?”

  “Today’s the first time I’ve seen her in about a month. She was traveling, so we’ve been keeping in touch through texts. Here, look.” He pulled out his phone and passed it to the sisters. After they’d each taken a look, Genevieve turned Ben’s phone in Sebastian’s direction. The photo Leah had texted Ben showed Leah and Dylan sitting in a canoe, smiling.

  “A few days ago, she suggested we go out for Korean food this week,” Ben said.

  “Wait.” Natasha faced Ben. “What?”

  “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Genevieve asked.

  “Because I don’t want to get my hopes up. I think it might just be a friend thing. Not a date.”

  “Wear something semi-nice, in case it is a date in her mind,” Genevieve suggested. “Women don’t like to feel overdressed.”

  They continued to talk in painful detail about what Ben should wear, what he should order, how he should handle trying to pay.

  Miserable, Sebastian drained the last of his water, then peeled another clementine, even though he hadn’t been hungry for the first one he’d eaten.

  CHAPTER TEN

  An elevator carried Sebastian down through the center of the hospital on Wednesday night.

  What was he feeling?

  Jealousy. Why? Because Ben was on a date with Leah tonight.

  Fear. Why? Because he was afraid that Leah would fall in love with his best friend. Which was self-centered. No one could make her happier than Ben could. Ben was the better man. Ben didn’t have the baggage Sebastian carried.

  He needed to be honest enough with himself to admit that he had serious issues with trust. The walls he’d built didn’t make him a good bet as a boyfriend.

  If his feelings for Ben and Leah were true, he’d want them to end up together.

  That’s what was in their best interest.

  Many miles to the north, Leah’s eyes sank closed reverently as she sampled the first bite of her meal: bibimbap, Korean comfort food.

  Ben, unsure of what to order, had followed her lead. Thus, matching stone bowls of food sat before them. Rice formed the base of the dish, crowned with a fried egg surrounded by colorful mounds of spiced beef, bean sprouts, carrot, zucchini, spinach.

  “So good,” Ben said.

  “So good,” she confirmed, adding an additional squirt of chili paste to the dish, then mixing all the ingredients together. “You know, when you and Natasha and Genevieve showed up at Sebastian’s house the other day, I couldn’t believe that I was surrounded by four of the Miracle Five.”

  “Impressive, aren’t we?” he joked.

  “It was a rare honor.” The only one who’d been absent was the one who’d never joined the rest, even when they were young, in their public appearances and interviews. Luke Dempsey. “Is Luke still in prison?” He’d spent the last seven years in prison for felony theft.

  “Yeah, but he’s supposed to come up for parole soon. We’re hoping he finally gets out.”

  She asked Ben to tell her more about Natasha and Genevieve, and he filled her in.

  On this midweek night in early August, most of the restaurant’s seats were occupied by tourists enjoying summer vacations. The establishment had a crisp, modern atmosphere. Dark gray tiled floor, pops of lime green fabric, a white and silver lighting scheme.

  Ben had offered to pick her up this evening, but she’d told him she’d meet him here. If he’d driven them, it would have given the evening a datelike feel. Also, she didn’t enjoy relying on others for rides. Doing so made her feel helpless, and she loathed feeling helpless.

  For tonight’s outing, she’d chosen a full skirt and a sleeveless shirt printed with little yellow birds. He’d arrived looking slightly more formal in a green dress shirt, flat front pan
ts, leather shoes.

  They were situated at a cozy table for two. Eating out. Away from their usual environment of the school. Away from the rest of their teacher friends. Dressed in fancier clothing than normal.

  She might be wrong, because she could never trust her conclusions about such things, but this did feel datelike to her, despite that she’d driven herself here.

  As she met Ben’s beautiful eyes from across the table, her nerves stretched. The intimacy of this dinner was confirming for her that she still wanted the same thing she’d always wanted from Ben. Friendship.

  The relationship they already had was not a small thing to her. It wasn’t as if she had a large and close-knit circle of adult friends. She had Tess and Rudy. Ben. And a few more casual friendships at school and church. That was it. She was more than grateful for their current relationship.

  But the hopeful look on his face was substantiating what Sebastian had told her—that Ben wanted more. Which made her feel like an appalling human being because she truly, truly did not want to hurt him. He was one of the kindest people she’d ever met. Encouraging, thoughtful, supportive. Dozens of times he’d paved the way for her at Misty River High. He was a fantastic listener and, like Sebastian had pointed out, he was loyal.

  She’d been eating with a fork, but now fiddled with the unused chopsticks lying next to her napkin.

  “Is something wrong?” Ben asked.

  “I . . . have an awkward question to ask you. Do you think our friendship can handle an awkward question or two?”

  “Absolutely. What’s your question?”

  She stilled the chopsticks, mounded her hands in her lap. “I’m interested in knowing if you like me as more than a friend.”

  His head pulled back a few inches with surprise.

  She waited.

  “Come again?” he said.

  “I’m interested in knowing if you like me as more than a friend.”

  “Uh. Well.” He fidgeted. “What motivated you to ask that?”

  “Curiosity. I’d like to be sensitive to where you’re coming from, but I can’t tell where you’re coming from. In order to find out, I have to ask.”