by Alexx Andria
“I understand. I’m not defending him. I’m just stating how he treated me.”
“I can guarantee that man doesn’t have a good bone in his body. If he protected you, it was for a reason.”
Holly frowned. “Well, I am his only family.”
“Are you?” I countered, causing her to blink with confusion. “Holly, why did no one know about you?”
“Someone knew, how’d you find out?”
“By complete accident. I admit, it was the ace I needed but only a few in his inner circle know that you exist. Do you have any pictures of your father?”
“No,” she answered. “Butcher isn’t the sentimental type.”
“How about your mother?”
She shook her head. “He said our father destroyed all the pictures. I had no reason to doubt what Butcher said was true. I mean, honestly, I never knew anyone but Butcher. He was my family.”
“Something feels weird about it,” I admitted. “Kids just don’t show up out of nowhere. Do you have a copy of your birth certificate?”
Holly became flustered. “No.”
“Then how’d you get into college?”
“Butcher took care of everything. I didn’t even get to pick the school. He did but because he was paying for it, I didn’t complain. Not to mention, it was a great school so I just went with it.”
“And how would you feel if you discovered Butcher wasn’t your brother at all?” I asked.
“I don’t know. If that were true…that would mean my entire life has been a lie.”
“And how do you feel knowing that I’m going to destroy him?”
“I don’t know about that either,” she admitted. “You’re saying that Butcher killed that girl and put your sister in a coma. But I just met you. I’ve known Butcher my entire life. Why should I believe you over him?”
It was an honest question. She was smart. But I had one chance to show her that if someone was lying, it sure as hell wasn’t me.
I leaned in and kissed her, slow and thorough. My hands traveled down her front to cup her sweet mound. I broke the kiss to say, “I’m a lot of things but I’m not a liar. I can take you to the hospital where my sister is, I can show you where Shay is buried but most of all, I can promise you that if you look in your heart, you’ll know the answer. Deep down, you know your brother is a bad man.”
“You told me you were a bad man,” she reminded me, her voice a breathy whisper. “If you haven’t lied to me…what does that mean?”
“It means I was prepared to do a bad thing for a good reason. Someone has to take him down. I’d rather die trying than live my life knowing that I did nothing to avenge my sister.”
Holly held my stare as if measuring my words against what she felt in her heart.
Her expressive face plainly showed she was wrestling with what I’d told her. But she was right, we were practical strangers and yet, there was no denying something between us.
“I know we don’t make sense. Hell, Holly, I’m still trying to wrap my brain around what is happening between us and I don’t know what is coming but I do know that one way or another, Butcher is going to pay.”
At this point, all I had was honesty to give her. I held my breath in fear that it wouldn’t be enough.
Then she shocked me by saying, “Then let me help you.”
I stared, unable to believe what I’d heard. “You would betray your own brother?”
Holly’s brow creased as she reflected her answer, then concluded firmly, “It’s not a betrayal if he earned the consequence of his actions. If what you say is true, he’s had this coming a long time.”
I didn’t know what to say. I certainly hadn’t expected to gain Holly’s help in taking down her brother. Was this a game to earn my trust?
A seed of doubt began to germinate. I’d hurt Holly. Maybe this was her way of punishing me for what I’d done.
I wanted to trust Holly but I hadn’t done anything to earn that trust so why would she offer it?
I pulled away.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, sensing the wall coming down between us.
“Holly, you can’t play a player,” I quipped, casting my gaze out toward the waves. “Why would you help me? C’mon, give me some credit. I know I don’t deserve your help in anyway after what I’ve done to you. I purposely did those things so you would hate me. Now, you’re saying that after everything you’re still willing to betray the only person who cared for you?” I snorted. “Baby girl, that’s a hard one to swallow.”
“You don’t trust me?” Holly returned with an incredulous snort. “That’s rich. You’re right, you’ve done nothing to earn my trust but if I choose to believe you…you ought to be grateful and just say thank you.”
We were at a stalemate.
I’d hurt her feelings by questioning her motives but I couldn’t very well blindly hand over my plans to the one person who could ruin everything.
“I have to think of Christina,” I said finally because that’s all I had. “My sister deserves justice. For fuck’s sake, so does Shay.”
“My brother was scheduled to pick me up after finals. I’m to come home after graduation. Right now, he doesn’t know anything has happened. Take me back so I can get the information you need without arousing suspicion.”
If Holly were being truthful with me, she was right; Holly could get to information that I couldn’t. Information the Feds could use to lock up Butcher for good.
Right now, I was playing fast and loose with circumstantial evidence and it could all blow up in my face.
I’d do anything to see that bastard off the street.
But would I trust the girl I’d tried to ruin?
Like I said…this was a hiccup I hadn’t planned for.
Fuck, in all honesty, I don’t think I ever could’ve planned for Holly.
She was a game-changer in every sense of the word.
Chapter 23
Holly
I knew how absurd my offer sounded.
I understood why Cason didn’t immediately jump at my offer.
His reticence bruised my feelings but I supposed he was being cautious.
“Tito said you were part of a different gang…who do you run with?” I asked.
Cason shook his head. “Does it matter?”
“I guess not but I’d like to know.”
He sighed and tossed a shell he’d found in the sand. “Cold Heart Crew.”
“I haven’t heard of them.”
“We don’t have the same press as ITR,” he said with a sardonic half-smile.
“Well, that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” I told him.
Cason brushed a tender kiss across my lips and I couldn’t help but melt a little.
How was this the same man who’d been so brutal with me in the beginning?
What if I liked that brutality?
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” he asked, zeroing in on a private subject that always made me feel lacking. “Are all the guys around you blind?”
I sucked in a quick breath. And just like that I melted some more. The way he saw me, really saw me, was addictive.
“Dating has been difficult,” I answered, feeling every bit the forlorn girl I’ve always been. “I’m not the cultural standard for collegiate beauty. And, to be fair, I spend a lot of time in the library.”
“Fuck that. I’ve never been to college but you’re fine as hell. You shouldn’t be wasting away with dusty old books.”
“I love books,” I said with a shrug. “Books don’t judge.”
“I suppose so. I never got into it,” Cason said, looking away. “School sucked.”
“Why?”
Cason’s discomfort became visible. “Just wasn’t my thing.”
I sensed an underlying pain beneath the cavalier words. Cason was intelligent even if he wasn’t book-smart. Cason was probably one of the millions of students who’d fallen through the cracks of the educational system.
“What
did you want to be when you were a kid?” I asked, curious.
He barked a short laugh. “Well-fed?” Cason sobered and shrugged, saying, “Honey, I never had time to think about stuff like that. I was just trying to keep Christine and I together. We bounced from foster home to foster home because our parents were fuck-ups. The Cold Heart Crew became my family and they take care of their own.”
I caught a vision of a little boy, facing off against a world that’d trampled him, trying to protect a younger sister when he was too young to shoulder that burden. How could I not feel for that boy?
“I love words. I think something with research would be great,” I shared. “But to be honest, I hadn’t actually nailed down what I wanted to do. I would need to live multiple lifetimes to do all the things that I dream about.”
Cason graced me with a genuine smile. “Baby, whatever you chose…you would rock. You’re just that kind of girl.”
His quiet confidence in me — a woman he hardly knew — was staggering.
Hadn’t I craved someone to believe in me as Cason did?
Damn him. As if he didn’t know exactly what to say to break through my walls.
I blinked back sudden tears. “What is happening between us?” I asked, baffled. “Is this real? Or are you messing with me?”
Cason’s expression shuttered and my stomach clenched. “Let’s talk about something else,” he said, climbing to his feet.
He held out his hand to help me up. His arms encircled my waist. The solid wall of muscle behind me soothed my ragged nerves. Being in his arms felt like home.
“I don’t want to go back to that place,” I said.
“You’re not,” he answered as I turned around in question. His gaze was like the chop of the ocean waves, turbulent and dangerous. “You’re going home.”
He was going to take me up on my offer.
My spirits lifted tentatively. Did this mean he trusted me? Or was he testing to see if I would betray him?
There was only one way to prove to him that my word was good.
“Tell me what you need and I’ll find it for you.”
Cason dipped to kiss me, his tongue mastering mine. I sank into his embrace, feeling safe for the first time in my life.
Butcher had sent me away on the pretense of protecting me but I hadn’t felt safe, only abandoned.
Now, ready to do something life-changing, I wanted to cling to him and never let go.
Maybe I was losing my mind.
I shouldn’t want him so much.
I shouldn’t want to help him.
But it didn’t matter how many times logic and reason were introduced into the argument, when I looked in his eyes or succumbed to his touch, I lost all sense of what I “should” do.
All I knew was what I wanted.
And I wanted Cason.
Chapter 24
Cason
I dropped Holly off on her campus and watched her go. It wasn’t until she was safely inside her apartment, did I leave.
Not that I wanted to but I couldn’t afford to be seen with her.
I didn’t know if Butcher had eyes on campus, but I was willing to bet that he did.
I met Tito back at my place, feeling as if I’d either made the biggest mistake of my life or I’d hit the jackpot.
Except I didn’t know which feeling was true.
Tito walked into my place and fixed with a dark glared. “What the fuck? Have you lost your fucking mind? You let her go? She’s going to go straight to Butcher and our asses will be cooked.”
“Maybe,” I agreed. “Or maybe not.”
Tito threw up his hands as he paced the floor. “Ahhh, great. Now you’re a philosopher. Wake up, Cason! She played you. Somehow she managed to get under your skin and dance to her tune instead of the other way around. I knew I should’ve been the one watching her, not you. You had a cock-stand the minute you saw her. Fuck, man!”
I didn’t begrudge Tito’s frustration. I may very well have signed both our death warrants. Only time would tell.
“She’s going to come through for us.”
“And why would she do that?” Tito demanded. “Because we treated her so well? Because we’re two swell guys who just happened along? No, Cason. We fucking kidnapped her, tied her up, and you shackled her to the wall in a sex dungeon. Yeah, that’s the recipe for love at first sight.”
“No one said anything about love,” I cut in, shifting as I suffered the heat of Tito’s incriminating points. “But I think there’s more to Butcher’s relationship with Holly than meets the eye.”
“What are you talking about?” Tito asked.
“What if…bear with me for a minute…what if Butcher wasn’t her brother at all?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Tito groaned, sinking into the worn chair by the door. “What do you mean?”
“It was something Holly had said to me. She doesn’t have any recollection of her parents because they died when she was too young and she’s never seen any official documents stating she is who Butcher says she is. Plus, Butcher handled all the details of getting her into the university. You and I both know that Butcher isn’t above taking a kid that wasn’t his to use for his own purposes.”
“But he treats her like a princess,” Tito pointed out, trying to find the flaws in my half-baked theory. “Why would he do that for a stranger?”
“What if he was…saving her for himself?”
“You mean, like, a wife or something?”
“Yeah.”
“But she thinks he’s her brother.” Tito made a face. “That’s disgusting.”
“But if he’s not…then there’s nothing stopping him from putting his plan into play.”
Tito whistled under his breath as the import of the twisted theory came into focus. “That’s some fucked up shit.”
I agreed. “And if that’s the case, Butcher has been lying to her all her life. Trust me, that’s going to go over like a lead balloon with Holly.”
Tito leaned forward, bracing his upper body with his elbows on his knees. “C’mon man, what’s going on with you and that chick? You’re different. I’ve never seen you so obsessed with one woman. You’ve got that look in your eye like she belongs to you or something. That’s dangerous, man.”
I couldn’t explain my feelings.
Tito would never understand, anyway.
I did feel different.
I wasn’t the same man who’d plotted Holly’s kidnapping, nor was I same man who’d coldly planned to ruin her to get at her brother.
I still wanted to take Butcher down but I didn’t want Holly in harm’s way while I did it.
Making a decision, Tito said firmly, “You need to get out. Have a beer. Let the smoke clear from your fucking brain. Let’s hit up Dolly’s and see if we can’t lose ourselves in booze and women.”
But I didn’t want other women.
I wanted Holly.
The thought of another woman touching me left me cold.
Even repulsed.
But if I admitted that to Tito, he’d question my sanity. I loved fucking women. All shapes and sizes. I never discriminated. And I never gave up the chance to dip my wick in some hot pussy.
But that was all over now.
I wanted Holly and that was it.
I wanted to hear her sweet cries as I punished her ass, then soft moans as I lovingly trace faint lines into the red wheals with a gentle touch.
Holly was hotter than a New York summer and she was completely unaware of the power she could wield over men.
Her tits were pillowy perfection and her hips made me drool.
That feminine silhouette was smoking hot.
I wasn’t lying when I told her, the men around her must’ve been blind to miss how gorgeous she was.
Maybe I ought to be thankful for all those books she liked to read because they’d kept her cloistered away for me to find when the time was right.
Her love of books made me want to learn to love
them, too.
Except I was dyslexic as fuck, which made reading excruciatingly frustrating and gave me a headache.
But I would find a way for her.
And all this I would do, if she didn’t betray me.
The fact was, I didn’t know if I was being a schmuck. Maybe I was plain stupid for letting her go but there was no turning back from the way I felt about her.
Whether she betrayed me or not, I wouldn’t be able to follow through with my original plan.
So, I had to take a chance.
A chance that Holly felt the same as I did.
And if that wasn’t the scariest chance I’d ever taken in my life…I didn’t know what was.
Tito, realizing I wasn’t coming with him, shook his head as he grumbled under his breath before slamming out the door, “Pussy-whipped son-of-a-bitch gonna get us both killed. I need a fucking drink and a wet and willing woman ASAP. I’m gonna make the most of my last twenty-four hours, motherfucker. I suggest you do the same.”
I closed my eyes.
Let the waiting begin.
Chapter 25
Holly
My apartment felt foreign.
Even though I was surrounded by everything my life had been, my books, my pictures, my Post-In Note forest above my desk, I felt like a stranger in my own place.
Everything had been put on fast forward. I’d catapulted past the usual stages of college life, skipping the usual stuff that made for great stories later, and landed in a story of my own that I never would’ve believed three days ago.
Cason.
I was still in awe that he’d brought me back.
I could completely screw him over.
Payback for what he’d tried to do to me.
I would be completely justified.
Anyone else might do it in a heartbeat.
But I wasn’t just anyone.
I danced to the beat of my own drum and always have.
I used to think that put me apart because I was damaged but now I realized, my differences were what made me unique.