Secrets in Mourning

by Janelle Daniels

  That would also have to change once this was over. She would make it up to them once she returned to her brother’s house.

  Glancing longingly at the bed, she only contemplated lying in the comforting warmth for a few seconds. Dinner was in less than two hours and there was no way she could skip it unless deathly ill. The Countess would no doubt find that Victoria was not fulfilling the terms of the contract if she didn’t allow the woman to torture her over a meal.

  A couple hours later, when Victoria was making her way down to the sitting room, she could only be grateful for Molly’s insistence on dressing her. Seeing Victoria’s hands, the maid had been extremely helpful and very sympathetic.

  Now Victoria would only have to endure an hour until she could turn in for the night. She could hardly stop herself from wincing with every step.

  Entering the room, she found herself alone. At least she thought so until she saw Mr. Baton in the doorway to the dining room.

  “Your Grace, you may enter the dining room and begin. You will be joined shortly.”

  “All right. Thank you, Mr. Baton.” Victoria offered him a tentative smile and was pleased by the surprised look on the butler’s face. It was devious, she knew, but she couldn’t help but enjoy his shock. It was a different feeling to surprise someone, and she would have to make sure to do it often.

  Allowing him to help her into her chair, Victoria’s brows crinkled when she noticed only one other set of dishes out. Was the Earl not joining them this evening? It was possible that he had other work to see to.

  The thought of spending the entire meal alone with the Countess made Victoria want to run away screaming. Her body was sore in places she couldn’t even fathom and her hands were raw, blistered. She just wanted to rest, not spend an hour being harassed.

  Closing her eyes, she longed for the evening to go by quickly. She sank even further into her chair.

  With only a five minute reprieve, Victoria heard footsteps, but she didn’t bother turning. Lady Evelyn would be seated soon enough and Victoria didn’t want to face her a moment before she had to.

  “Good evening…” Victoria trailed off, startled when she glanced up and saw that her dinner companion was not the Countess. Realizing her mouth had fallen open, she continued her greeting. “my lord.” His eyebrow raised in question. “Forgive me. I was expecting the Countess and was surprised to see you instead.”

  “I hope you aren’t too disappointed.”

  “Of course not,” she said a bit too quickly. In fact, a part of her was relieved that it wasn’t his mother. While not the most companionable, the Earl wasn’t cruel. She only wished that she had known earlier that the Countess would not be taking her dinner in the dining room. Victoria would have had a tray sent up to her room as well. But now she was stuck.

  Two footmen came out of the adjoining room, the second carrying a steaming soup tureen. “I know my mother has been difficult on you.” The servants began ladling soup into their bowls.

  She started to say that his mother had been wonderful, but looking into his knowing eyes, she knew he would see it for the lie it was. He had seen her cry. “She hasn’t been too terrible lately.”

  “I am glad to hear that.” He gestured to her soup. “Please, enjoy. There is no need to wait for me to begin.”

  The brothy vegetable soup was surprisingly good. The rich, spicy warmth fell smoothly down her throat. She almost moaned at the contact.

  About to sample the soup, the Earl jerked to a stop. His spoon clattered as he dropped it into his bowl, his eyebrows lowering dangerously as he quickly reached out to her, gripping her wrist.

  In pain, she gasped as he brought her abused hands toward the candlelight.

  “What the hell happened to your hands?” he demanded as he turned her hand over to look at her palm, his gaze growing even darker.

  Opening and closing her mouth, she didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t his swearing that shocked her, it was more of the fierce anger she saw in his eyes.

  His eyes darted to her, taking her captive. “What happened?” he asked again, his tone lower, more deadly.

  Twisting out of his grip, she couldn’t stop herself from wincing as she brushed a blister against his hand. “That is none of your business.”

  “The hell it isn’t.”

  “Why are you so upset over this?” She was confused, and more than a little annoyed herself. Why was he raising his voice to her? She had done nothing wrong. Had only been doing what he told her to do, and now he had the nerve to berate her for it? “It’s none of your concern.”

  “None of my concern? Are you daft? Of course it is. For now, you are a part of my household. I will have no one hurt as you are, especially not a lady.”

  She pushed her back into her chair. “You have some nerve. I do as you say and still you sit and reprimand me? I have done everything you’ve asked. You have no right to speak to me this way.”

  “I asked you to oversee the household, to coordinate the servants.” He leaned forward ominously. “Nowhere in there did I say that you should bear marks such as these.”

  “And I have done as you have asked. I’ve overseen the servants and have made your house run more efficiently than ever. Or had you not noticed?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Of course I have. And while commendable, I have also noticed that you have not hired more servants.”

  “There have been none to hire.”

  He leaned back into his chair slowly. “Elizabeth was sick today, was she not?”

  Victoria eyed him warily, not quite sure where he was heading with his questioning. “Yes, she was.”

  “And was it not also laundry day?”

  She swallowed slowly. He knew, or at least he had a suspicion that she had helped out in more than a managerial role. She nodded once in answer.

  His nostrils flared as he took in a deep breath, his jaw clenched in time with his fist beside his plate. “And who exactly helped Molly complete that task?”

  Her lips pressed tighter as she looked away from him. “You are obviously well aware of who helped her.”

  “Why would you do this?” He raked a hand through his hair. “Did you not think to put off the laundry? To postpone it for a day?”

  “Of course I did!” Exasperation tinged her voice. “Do you think I wanted to do laundry? To act more like a servant than I already do on a daily basis?” With every word she spoke, her temper flared hotter. “But what was I to do? There was no one else, and you had already informed me that you would be receiving a guest tomorrow. It had to be done. There was no other option but to do it.”

  “He had a change of plans and will not be staying with us.”

  Her mouth fell open. “What?” She wanted to screech, but took a deep breath instead.

  “I received a letter from him yesterday. Had you come to me with this problem, I could have told you thus.”

  “Come to you? On something that you have already deemed to be my task?” Her nose wrinkled in distaste. “I shouldn’t need to come to you. Had you informed me that there had been a change of plans I wouldn’t have had to do it myself. I could have postponed it. How am I to run the household when I don’t have all the information?”

  “So, this is my fault now? The chapped skin? The blisters? They were my doing?”

  “Of course not!” Her spoon clattered to the table. “I saw no other option today. There was no way that Molly could handle the load alone without hurting herself or working far into the night. I wasn’t going to allow that. She works hard enough as is.”

  “And you care?” He looked genuinely shocked.

  She wanted to snap at him. “I’m not a monster. I’m not heartless. I wouldn’t force a dog to work in those conditions.”

  “In the future, you will refrain from doing any such labor as you have today. I will not allow you to be injured while you are in my home.”

  “You will not allow?” She stood up from her chair slowly. “You will not allow? Did I hear t
hat correctly? Well, hear me. I am sick to death of being ordered around by both your mother and you. I have had it with the commands, with the demands, and with your loathing. You are neither my brother nor husband nor father and I do not need to obey you. You assigned me a task and I am seeing to it with the best of my abilities.”

  He stood to meet her gaze. “While I legally have no hold over you, I will still not allow you to injure yourself. Remember that you need me for your inheritance.”

  She threw her hands in the air. “How could I ever forget such a thing after being reminded of it constantly, my lord,” she said his title with a sneer. “I’ll be sure to work your servants to the bone in the future and not care one way or the other as long as the work gets done without a bruise to my body.” She whirled around and made it out of the room and down the hall, feeling no drop of triumph at the anger that sizzled in his widened eyes at her parting words. She just wanted to get to her room before she said something she really regretted.

  She heard his steps behind her before she could react. Not bothering to stop, he grabbed her arm and hauled her into the music room a door away from the staircase.

  “What do you think you are…” she trailed off when she saw him clenching his fists, his eyes looking furious as he backed her into the pianoforte.

  Perhaps she had pushed him too far. She gulped, wondering how best to handle this furious male. What would he do to her? While she doubted he would hit her, he did look as though he craved physical violence.

  He leaned closer, his body pressed against hers as his face descended, stopping only a few inches from her own. A surprised breath escaped her lips at the contact.

  “You try my patience, Victoria.” She gasped at his use of her given name. His hands fisted at her waist, almost painfully before he jerked her fully against his body, molding her rounded curve to his hard muscles.

  Her eyes flared with the knowledge that he was going to conquer her, to punish her in the only way he could.

  He swooped down, pressing his lips demandingly against hers, ignoring the fact that she struggled in his arms. He was bruising, punishing in his pressure against her.

  Reaching up, she tried to slap him before he forcibly brought her arms down to her side, holding them still. Breaking away, he breathed harshly. “I told you there would be consequences to trying to hit me.”

  Capturing her lips again, he pressed against her, forcing her to yield to him. With the anger that seared through her body, another feeling began to trickle in as well. Desire.

  Confused by her reaction, her struggles lessened, allowing her to feel the emotions he was producing within her.

  Groaning against her mouth, his grip around her loosened. His hands moved to her back, rubbing her tight muscles.

  The moan that escaped her lips startled her, giving him the opening to slip his tongue in to mingle with hers. The dark taste of him was incredible, heady, all the while his hands seemed to be all over her back, relaxing all the knotted muscles from her labor.

  Wanting him closer, she lifted her arms, wrapping them slowly around his neck. As if burned, he jerked away from her, and she swayed from the sudden loss of his touch.

  “Forgive me,” he said, looking as shocked as she felt. He held her shoulders to steady her, but she wasn’t sure if it was only for her sake. “Forgive me,” he said again, shaking his head as he quickly left her.

  Watching his back recede out of the room, Victoria could only stand there in shock at what had happened.

  Chapter 9

  It had been a month since that searing kiss, and Victoria still didn’t know what had happened. Everything might have been clearer to her, but she hadn’t seen much of the Earl since that night.

  She was beginning to think he was avoiding her. While he made a point of coming down to dinner every once in a while, it was more often than not that he took a tray in his room late at night after an exhausting day of work.

  If she didn’t know better, she would worry for his health, but she knew that he wouldn’t endanger himself just to avoid her. At least she didn’t think so.

  Thoughts of that passionate kiss had kept her up at all hours of the night, reliving the touch of his lips over and over. She had allowed others to kiss her before, but none of those small, stolen moments had compared to the raw passion she had felt from him.

  Aching, she woke from dreaming of him, her body sensitive, tossing and turning in her sheets until they twisted around her.

  If only she could see him, if only she had a moment alone with him to figure out why he had initiated the intimacy with her, she might be able to put it behind her. But the memory kept floating through her mind, heedless of her struggles to suppress it.

  Surprisingly, she relished them, thinking of the dreams and the kiss at times like now when she needed to be focused on her work.

  While no other servants had been hired, their new routines had been performed flawlessly. And thankfully, none of the servants had taken ill.

  It was Monday, and therefore laundry day. Victoria couldn’t help but think of her confrontation with the Earl so many weeks ago. Why was he constantly on her mind? Frustrated, she forced the thought away.

  The steam was swirling in the air as Elizabeth and Molly worked together, laughing lightly at something. Feeling her smooth hands as she stood on the side of the room, overseeing this chore, Victoria was quietly grateful that she hadn’t been placed in a position where she had needed to lend a hand.

  But regardless of what the Earl had said, Victoria would be willing to jump in to help either Molly or Elizabeth if the need arose.

  “Are you excited about the fair, Your Grace?” Elizabeth asked, looking up, her cheeks pinkened from the steam.

  “Elizabeth, do I need to ask you again to call me Lady Victoria?” A small laugh of disbelief rose to her lips. She hadn’t ever thought she wouldn’t like the title, but it was beginning to grate. Becoming a duchess was in her past and she wanted to make a fresh start.

  I already have, she thought, looking at the two women who had become her friends regardless of their station.

  “Sorry, Lady Victoria. It’s hard to break the habit.” Elizabeth smiled shyly as she rinsed out a heavy sheet.

  Victoria waved away the girls’ concerns. “Yes, I am very excited about it. I can’t believe it’s tomorrow. Finally, more help.”

  Both the girls nodded. Sighing gratefully at the thought of having another servant around. “I wouldn’t mind taking a week off of laundry duty in the near future.” Molly looked up with a wry grin.

  “Me either.” Victoria muttered. “Don’t worry, we’ll do a rotation so no one is stuck doing it every week.” Both women looked relieved by this announcement.

  “Thank you again for allowing us to leave early tomorrow night. We’re excited that we’ll be able to see everything.”

  Victoria laughed again, walking toward the women. “Don’t thank me. His Lordship was the one that made it clear that everyone should have the night off.”

  Molly shrugged. “Still. It was very good of you both. I can’t wait to see the ribbon cart.”

  “Me either. I’m in need of a few new colors.”

  “Oh, that’s right,” Elizabeth said, pausing to gather a new sheet. “You’re going into half mourning soon aren’t you?”

  “Yes. I can’t believe so much time has already passed. To wear something other than black, even if it is gray or lavender will be wonderful.”

  It was sad for the Duke’s family that he passed away, but Victoria still couldn’t bring herself to grieve for a man who had a full life, especially since she hadn’t really known him, hadn’t had any real affection for him. But she would be dutiful. She would follow the mourning ritual and pay him the respect that he desreved. He had provided her with a wonderful future and it was the least she could do.

  “Perhaps you will be able to find a brooch. Something in jet, of course,” Molly offered.

  Victoria chuckled. “Perhaps.” She b
riefly wondered if Connor would enjoy seeing her in another color, perhaps a piece of jewelry to adorn the new dress, but snuffed out the thought. It shouldn’t matter what Connor thought. In her opinion, finding a piece of jewelry might be nice, but it wasn’t high up on her priorities. Her number one goal was to find help, to fully staff the manor.

  The next day passed quickly, everyone so excited about the festival that they finished their work early.

  “Did you hear that there will be a performing group? I even heard one can juggle ten objects at once!” Molly had exclaimed that same afternoon, making Victoria promise that she would take time to see the juggler with her.

  “Of course,” Victoria had said happily, still a little shocked that the woman wanted to spend time with her. While improper, Molly was quickly becoming the best friend Victoria had ever had. Certainly the most sincere.

  Making sure to leave early, Victoria was there a little bit before the hiring fair began at the beginning of the festival. With wooden coins in hand to seal their employment, she was ready to hire as many servants as needed.

  The sun was still out as Victoria wandered the lines of people looking for work, each of them holding an item that proclaimed their profession— a cook held a spoon, a maid held a mop, and so forth, making it easy to discern whom to approach.

  After hiring three more housemaids, two footmen holding trays, and another kitchen girl and helper, Victoria sighed in relief. Handing out a wooden coin to each of them, she told them to stop by the manor tomorrow and they would handle the specifics of their employment.

  Each party seemed pleased with the deal. But Victoria felt as if she were getting the better end of the bargain. It would be so much easier to run the house with extra help, and she would finally be able to give both Elizabeth and Molly a break.