W

by Anne Leigh

My relief was only temporary because when she’d removed her t-shirt and shorts, revealing a black and white polka dotted excuse for a one-piece, I heard myself growl.

  I’d never heard myself growl.

  I’d also never found myself in a situation where I wanted to cover every fucking eye that landed on her magnificent body.

  Athena wasn’t a skinny, reed-thin, pre-pubescent wafer like the models that magazines loved to tout.

  She had the body of a woman.

  Legs that ran a mile-long.

  An ass that filled her swimsuit nicely.

  And curves –

  Fuck, curves that shaped her breasts, the indentation at her waist, and the sexy lines that only a natural female body could hold.

  Liam had let out a whistle and I refrained from smacking his head.

  He walked with her to the shoreline while I lingered in the car to carry the small cooler that housed snacks and drinks. I actually had to adjust myself in my board shorts, so thank God for the cooler excuse, it was a welcome reprieve.

  A blonde-haired guy in green shorts, carrying a surfboard, was inching closer to her while Athena was busy creating a sandcastle that kept getting destroyed by the waves.

  Christus, she could build the castle farther away from the water, which Liam had suggested, but she was of her own mind. She’d merely smiled and mouthed, “I can build another…and another.”

  I was already standing up when Liam reeled me back, “Leave her be, brother. He’s not a threat.”

  “How would you know?” I asked, the point moot.

  Of course I knew surfer dude wasn’t a threat, but he was invading her space.

  “You think he’d be packing a glock in his wet, puny shorts?” The mirth in his voice wasn’t even hidden. “We’re twenty steps away from her. If he’s a kidnapper, by the time he steps a foot away from where she’s sitting, he’d be dead on his feet.”

  Slowly I threw my leg down on the sand, intently watching where Surfer Dude was touching Athena. He wasn’t but if he was, Liam’s description was accurate, he’d be dead on his feet.

  Sand had always been my friend.

  I grew up in it.

  I walked faster on it than on solid concrete, even with my leg injuries.

  I could reach Surfer Dude in less than fifteen seconds, including the time I cut off the air circulating in his body.

  I reached for the beer bottle that I’d haphazardly left on the sand and tried to ignore the growing burn in my chest as I heard her laugh at what Surfer Boy was saying.

  “She’s free to date.” Liam had just set off a bomb. “Whomever she wants.”

  A bomb that was slowly ticking, counting down the seconds before it completely detonated.

  I swallowed a mouthful of the bitter beer and said, “You think I don’t know that?”

  “I wasn’t quite sure.” The glare I was giving him from the side of eye only encouraged him to say, “You can’t expect her to show you how much she likes you while you set up some fucking rules on why she can’t like you or why she has to keep her distance – and keep pining for you while you make up your mind on what to do with her.”

  Even for a talker like Liam, that was a mouthful.

  “How do you know I set up some rules?” I haven’t even had the chance to talk to Liam about what happened in my office, not that I was inclined to do so any time soon.

  He tsked.

  “I’ve been on two missions with you.” My eyes were fixed on Athena who now had Surfer Dude helping with her castle. They’d moved farther from the water which made them seven steps away from where Liam and I were sitting. “From the minute you get up, your mind is already creating the rules. Two minutes to brush, seven minutes to shave, ten to shower.”

  “Eight minutes.” I countered, “It takes me eight minutes to shave.”

  “Whoop-tee-fucking-doo.” He raised his beer up in the air. “You’re one hell of an SO, Webb. I wouldn’t be here, alive, toasting to the fucking sun if it wasn’t for you. You saved my ass in Libya and kept us safe in Syria. My mother and my Nana are forever grateful to you.”

  My mouth thinned when I saw Surfer Boy checking out Athena’s rack, while pretending he was stacking up the castle. From this distance, I could throw one of the empty beer bottles and it would hit him right smack dab in the middle of his forehead.

  “Your point?” I clenched my jaw, half-listening to Liam. He was a great soldier. Now inactive because of the injuries he’d sustained in Afghanistan.

  “You, me – we’ve been through some shit.”

  I was unprepared for the vigorous sentiment in his voice, so I let my eyes drift away from Athena and Surfer Dude and looked over to my side, to my brother-in-arms, a man who’s seen the face of death and braved through it. When I needed cover to go to Lauren for my check-up, I knew he was one of the few I could fully trust Athena with. He’d only been out for a few months and was already itching to be back in action. I’d briefed him about the situation and he accepted it within the hour after packing up a suitcase from his apartment in Oregon.

  “She’s not a woman you screw and leave.” His words had taken a harsher tone, but no offense was meant. He was giving it to me straight. “I’m guessing that’s why you’re troubled with her. You’re not sure if you should get involved with her.”

  “I can’t.” For the first time, I let the truth I’d been holding in escape my mouth, my hand dragging back to the beer bottle that had somehow remained cool. “I need to keep her safe. I won’t allow her to be touched by violence. She has a great future ahead of her.”

  “You like her.” The awe mixed in with his deep voice was an uncommon blend. “You’ve thought about her.”

  “Sometimes I let myself dream. It’s fucked up and screwed up…” Athena was now holding her hair with her right hand while Surfer Boy was talking. I reached down to the right pocket of my shorts and grabbed a black hair tie. “I tell myself she’s too young, too inexperienced, too…something. But then she looks at me and I feel like everything’s right in the world. That with all the fucked-up things that have happened in my life, she’s why, she’s the gold at the end of the rainbow. I feel everything. I’m not a stupid rock. But I can’t act on it. Because if I do, heads will roll and I need hers to be intact, attached to the rest of her amazing body.”

  “Shit bro.”

  Handing Liam Athena’s hair tie, I pushed to my feet and started to stand, “She’s not just my detail – I just don’t think she’ll understand. I know she wants me and she likes me. Hell, I ain’t dumb.”

  Liam shook off the sand that had accumulated on his clothes. “I get it.”

  “Do you?” I couldn’t stop now. “As much as I want her, because only a blind man who’s been amputated in the nut sac couldn’t want her, I have to keep my hands off of her. She destroys my concentration. And I need to keep everything together because she’s caught in a war that she didn’t even start. Her father is the target of the worst creatures of our time and she just happens to be in the crossfire.” The rage building inside me was phosphorus to napalm, penetrating deeply, the power enough to become nuclear. “Those motherfuckers will never harm her, Liam. Not ever. I would turn the world upside down if anything ever happens to her.”

  Before we’d settled on this area of the beach, Liam and I had been aware of Athena’s tail.

  They were there, lurking behind the beams of the bridge by the pier. Three men trying to blend with the tourists by taking pictures of the ocean waters. I’d known they were there the minute their sandals touched the sand. While Athena had been busy chatting up Surfer Boy, they were busy checking out the women who were decked out in skimpy bikinis. Some had even eyed Liam and me, but they’d stayed out of our way.

  We couldn’t carry ammo on the beach and we were both nursing two beers, which was really nothing, but still, we had to be on high alert.

  Anytime we were out in the open was an opportunity for Athena to be seen and followed.

  Surf
er Boy was now kicking at the sand while Athena, standing a shoulder’s breath apart from him, pointed to the horizon. It was her favorite part of the day, and she was sharing it with someone whom she just met forty-five minutes and twenty-eight seconds ago.

  “Can you give it to her?” I averted my eyes from the twosome, asking Liam to give her one of the stretchy ties that she used to keep her hair out of her face.

  Liam pinned me with a look, and said, “It sucks to be you, brother.”

  I deadpanned and shrugged my shoulders, “Don’t I know it.”

  I’d been cordial.

  Polite.

  Gracious.

  I may disagree with my mother in her Republican-branded ideologies, but I had learned my manners from her.

  If offered coffee, I accepted it, but I didn’t have to drink it.

  If asked a question, I answered, but I owed it to no one to elaborate.

  If texted, yes or no would be sufficient.

  If stared at, I did my best to ignore.

  There wasn’t a doubt that he was trying to apologize.

  I had forgiven him.

  In my mind.

  But he didn’t have to know.

  He was keeping his distance and I ensured that the distance was a chilly one.

  He hadn’t done anything wrong.

  Yet he hadn’t said anything right either.

  Was it immature for me to want to be wanted?

  He was there for a reason. To detract any threats. To keep me safe.

  He did all that and more, so much more –

  He waited until I went to sleep before he rested.

  I knew because I heard the soft creak of my bedroom door when he did his ‘final’ check at night. Sometimes I felt him, just standing there for a few minutes, staring into the darkness, then with his footsteps barely louder than a whisper, he’d close the door and leave.

  I’d been staying at his house now for most days of the week. He’d been honest with me – that his house offered the best security so it was the best place for me. I offered no resistance simply because I trusted him.

  Liam was around. Not as much as the first few days when Webb had returned from his business trip. He was a fun guy. He managed to make me roll my eyes a hundred times a minute because he baited me into saying things I didn’t want.

  ‘You think my friend’s hot, Athena?’

  Cue the eye roll.

  Webb was working out on the front lawn, shirtless. I was reading a book until Webb’s wide shoulders, muscled pecs, and straight-outta-Men’s Fitness abs showed up.

  I was still trying to lap up the drool from my chin when Liam appeared beside me.

  I doubted Webb could hear us because Liam and I were a few feet away, but I thought a shadow of a smile gleamed on Webb’s face after Liam outed me.

  ‘My brother loves the dumplings you brought, Athena.’

  Cue another eye roll.

  Liam had loudly said it after I’d had dinner with Dyan and Mario at Golden Dumplings in Chinatown. Webb had been there. Outside the restaurant. Somewhere in the vicinity.

  His stomach had growled while we were in the car. Dyan had invited him, but he’d declined.

  He always said no.

  It was his favorite word.

  I wasn’t a mean person so I’d asked for a dozen dumplings; three shrimp, six pork, and three chicken, to-go and when we reached his place, after dropping off my friends, I’d plated them on a big white dinner plate and said, “Dumplings are for you,” as I passed him when I was leaving from the kitchen to freshen up in the bedroom.

  I’d returned to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, only to see that Liam was savoring the last bits of the dumplings.

  “Did Webb eat at all?” I couldn’t help but ask. Liam had raised a brow and made an aforementioned comment.

  The eye roll inducing moments were frequent when Liam was around.

  But when it was just me and Webb, I tried my very best to not become affected by his presence.

  I had no reason to be upset with him.

  Like I said, he was only doing his job.

  His job, meaning me.

  I wasn’t upset at him because he didn’t want me.

  The standards of the women he liked or dated were probably set sky high.

  I wasn’t irritated because he didn’t want to get involved with me, in ah, hmm, intimate terms.

  I was displeased.

  Frustrated.

  Confused –

  Because the two times I’d kissed him, he’d returned them back with such eagerness, like a man parched for water then within the same span of time, he doubled back and couldn’t wait to be away from me as fast as his lips had clamped onto mine.

  Whiplash much?

  The man could give orders in short, precise terms yet he couldn’t explain to me in the exact same sentence why he needed to avoid me?

  I wasn’t an overdramatic, emotional female – which by the way, there was absolutely nothing wrong with it if I was – but I was owed an explanation for the sudden cold shoulder.

  I wasn’t dreaming of being the real Rachel Marron who fell in love with her bodyguard, Frank Farmer. It only happened in the movies with Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner. I couldn’t carry a tune like Whitney/Rachel and even if I could, I’d hate to be shot at.

  I just wanted some sort of acknowledgement from his end, that he felt the tiniest bit of attraction to me. I’d felt his erection; it wasn’t hard to miss. The bulge in his pants was prodding my ass when he’d lifted me in his arms before he’d frozen like the Arctic.

  I wasn’t experienced with men.

  For more than half of my life, the only significant men in my life were my father and the male doctors and nurses who were in charge of my care.

  The first boy I’d liked was a cutie named Kyle who had passed away at ten from a complication of Cystic Fibrosis, a disease he’d had since he was born. He and I spent a lot of time together in the hospital playing The Legend of Zelda and he didn’t let me win. Hence, why I adored him.

  The second boy I’d been infatuated with was a Native American member of the Quileute tribe named Jacob Black, played by Taylor Lautner, in the Twilight movies. Stephanie Meyer’s creation kept me company through all the poking, prodding, and painful treatments I’d had to go through.

  Denton was the third guy I’d liked and the first I’d ever considered giving it up to. Taylor Lautner was far from available so I had to settle for Denton.

  Not really.

  Before Webb came along, I was ready to give it up for Denton.

  He was a good guy and lots of fun to be around.

  He was attracted to me too and he minced no words about it.

  When the whirlwind of a guy named Webb entered my life, I wasn’t totally prepared for it.

  He was older.

  More experienced.

  A man who looked like he’d been swallowed by the world and came back out a survivor.

  Unfeeling.

  Cold.

  Yet when his lips touched mine, the fire in them was the only solace I sought.

  No, I wasn’t annoyed or frustrated at Webb for being the best that he was at what he did.

  I was sad.

  Mostly.

  For him.

  Because he was denying me, us, the possibility of being good together.

  Because while I could taste the caring, the heat, the lust in his kiss, I could also feel the desperation.

  The hope and the loss of it.

  I loved sunsets and appreciated the beginnings that they signified.

  The sun goes down and the stars come up.

  Wasn’t it amazing?

  One light leaves, a million others shine on its behalf.

  When I look into his eyes, every time he saw me, and while he thought I wasn’t really looking – I saw when the coldness left and the warmth began.

  The ice in his blues withdrew and the life in his irises stormed in.

  He kept me sa
fe, but I brought him life.

  And because he refused to acknowledge it, I couldn’t do a darn thing about it.

  “I’m so excited!” Dyan exclaimed, rubbing her arms with her hands, apparently trying to stifle the energy exiting her pores.

  She hadn’t stopped talking since we picked her up in SC.

  “I’m gonna go bang bang bam bam on you, Liam!” If it was possible for the pitch in her voice to go higher, it did.

  Liam chuckled at her exuberance. It was impossible not to. She’d been discussing her strategy in detail – which was basically shoot everyone she came into contact with.

  My small group of friends had become so familiar with Webb and Liam that they’d started treating them as their own friends.

  Mostly it was Webb who was invited because he was the one who was with me, or close to me, all the time.

  But Dyan had Liam’s number. A fact that hadn’t escaped me since Liam, though brash, didn’t just give out his number to anyone.

  And Webb being Webb usually shot down the invitations. However, Dyan had the upper hand because it was her birthday, which meant that I’d go and then Webb had to go and Liam wanted to tag along.

  “Is that Mario?” My eyes landed on a guy in the passenger seat of Denton’s BMW wearing a large sombrero.

  “Who else can pull that off while we’re breezing through the 101?” Dyan was right. Mario had an eccentric sense of fashion. He paired the most outrageous outfits together and he pulled them off successfully. All I could see was the large hat and I wouldn’t doubt it if he was wearing a tuxedo and sneakers along with it.

  “Everyone must be out of town.” I looked outside the window, it looked like everyone was driving at an average speed of 70 to 75 miles per hour.

  A rare sight even on a Saturday morning in one of Southern Cal’s busiest freeways.

  “It’s Dyan’s birthday.” Our driver dressed in a black shirt and dark blue athletic pants, I couldn’t help but give his body a full inspection before we all got in the car, said. “That’s why everyone’s trying to get out of L.A.”

  “Did you – did he,” Dyan was trying to digest Webb’s words, “just crack a joke?”

  Liam tapped his hand on the dash, guffawing, “Shit yeah!”