We the Living

by Ayn Rand

  Kira jerked her head with a shudder that ran down to her knees and gasped: "Andrei, let's go!"

  He rose swiftly, obediently.

  When he motioned to a sleigh driver in the street outside, she said: "No. Let's walk. Walk. With both feet."

  He took her arm, asking: "What's the matter, Kira?"

  "Nothing," she walked, listening to the living sound of her heels crunching snow. "I . . . I didn't like the picture."

  "I'm sorry, dear. I don't blame you. I wish they wouldn't make those things, for their own sake."

  "Andrei, you wanted to leave it all, to go abroad, didn't you?"

  "Yes."

  "Then why are you starting something . . . against someone . . . to help the masters you no longer want to serve?"

  "I'm going to find out whether they're still worth serving."

  "What difference would that make to you?"

  "A difference on which the rest of my life may depend."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I'm giving myself a last chance. I have something to put before them. I know what they should do about it. I'm afraid I know also what they're going to do about it. I'm still a member of the Party. In a very short while, I'll know whether I'll remain a member of the Party."

  "You're making a test, Andrei? At the cost of several lives?"

  "At the cost of several lives that should be ended."

  "Andrei!"

  He looked at her white face, astonished: "Kira, what's the matter? You've never questioned me about my work. We've never discussed it. You know that my work deals with lives--and death, when necessary. It has never frightened you like this. It's something the two of us must keep silent about."

  "Are you forbidding me to break that silence?"

  "Yes. And there's something I have to tell you. Please listen carefully and don't answer me, because, you see, I don't want to know the answer. I want you to keep silent because I don't want to learn how much you know about the case I'm investigating. I'm afraid I know already that you're not quite ignorant about it. I'm expecting the highest integrity from the men I'm going to face. Don't make me face them with less than that on my part."

  She said, trying to be calm, her voice quivering, a voice with a life and a terror of its own which she could not control: "Andrei, I won't answer. Now listen and don't question me. Please don't question me! I have nothing to tell you but this: I'm begging you--you understand--begging you with all there is in me, if I ever meant anything to you, this is the only time I want to claim it, I'm begging you, while it's still in your hands, to drop this case, Andrei! for one reason only, for me!"

  He turned to her and she looked into a face she had never seen before, the implacable face of Comrade Taganov of the G.P.U., a face that could have watched secret executions in dark, secret cellars. He asked slowly: "Kira, what is that man to you?"

  The tone of his voice made her realize that she could protect Leo best by remaining silent. She answered, shrugging: "Just a friend. We'll keep silent, Andrei. It's late. Will you take me home?"

  But when he left her at her parents' house, she waited only to hear his steps dying around the corner. Then she ran through dark streets to the first taxi she could find and leaped in, ordering: "Marinsky Theater! As fast as you can go!"

  In the dim, deserted lobby of the theater, she heard the thunder of the orchestra behind closed doors, a tuneless, violent jumble of sound.

  "Can't go in now, citizen," said a stern usher.

  She slipped a crumpled bill into his hand, whispering: "I have to find someone, comrade. . . . It's a matter of life and death . . . his mother is dying. . . ."

  She slipped noiselessly between blue velvet curtains into a dark, half-empty theater. On the glittering stage a chorus of fragile ballerinas in short, flame-red tulle skirts fluttered, waving thin, powdered arms with gilded chains of papier-mache, in a "Dance of the Toilers."

  She found Leo and Antonina Pavlovna in comfortable armchairs in an empty row. They jumped up when they saw Kira slipping toward them down the long row of chairs, and someone behind them hissed: "Sit down!"

  "Leo!" Kira whispered. "Come on! Right away! Something's happened!"

  "What?"

  "Come on! I'll tell you! Let's get out of here!"

  He followed her up the dark aisle. Antonina Pavlovna waddled hurriedly after them, her chin pointing forward.

  In a corner of the empty foyer, Kira whispered: "It's the G.P.U., Leo, they're after your store. They know something."

  "What? How did you find out?"

  "I just saw Andrei Taganov and he . . ."

  "You saw Andrei Taganov? Where? I thought you were going to visit your parents."

  "Oh, I met him on the street and . . ."

  "What street?"

  "Leo! Stop that nonsense! Don't you understand? We have no time to waste!"

  "What did he say?"

  "He didn't say much. Just a few hints. He told me to keep away from you if I didn't want to be arrested. He said you had a private food store, and he mentioned Pavel Syerov. He said he had a report to make to the G.P.U. I think he knows everything."

  "So he told you to keep away from me?"

  "Leo! You refuse to . . ."

  "I refuse to be frightened by some jealous fool!"

  "Leo, you don't know him! He doesn't joke about G.P.U. matters. And he's not jealous of you. Why should he be?"

  "What department of the G.P.U. is he in?"

  "Secret service department."

  "Not the Economic Section, then?"

  "No. But he's doing it on his own."

  "Well, come on. We'll call Morozov and Pavel Syerov. Let Syerov call his friend of the Economic Section and find out what your Taganov's doing. Don't get hysterical. Nothing to be afraid of. Syerov's friend will take care of it. Come on."

  "Leo," Antonina Pavlovna panted, running after them, as they hurried to a taxi outside, "Leo, I had nothing to do with the store! If there's an investigation, remember, I had nothing to do with it! I only carried money to Syerov and I knew nothing about where it came from! Leo, remember!"

  An hour later, a sleigh drove noiselessly up to the back entrance of the store that carried the sign "Lev Kovalensky. Food Products." Two men slipped silently down frozen, unlighted stairs to the basement, where Leo and the clerk were waiting with a dim old lantern. The newcomers made no sound. Leo pointed silently to the sacks and boxes. The men carried them swiftly up the stairs to the sleigh. The sleigh was covered with a large fur blanket. In less than ten minutes the basement was empty.

  "Well?" Kira asked anxiously, when Leo came home.

  "Go to bed," said Leo, "and don't dream of any G.P.U. agents."

  "What did you do?"

  "It's all done. We got rid of everything. It's on its way out of Red Leningrad this very minute. We had another load coming from Syerov tomorrow night, but we've cancelled that. We'll be running a pure little food store--for a while. Till Syerov checks up on things."

  "Leo, I . . ."

  "You won't start any arguments again. I've told you once: I'm not going to leave town. That would be the most dangerous, the most suspicious thing to do. And we have nothing to worry about. Syerov's too strong at the G.P.U. for any . . ."

  "Leo, you don't know Andrei Taganov."

  "No, I don't. But you seem to know him too well."

  "Leo, they can't bribe him."

  "Maybe not. But they can make him shut up."

  "If you're not afraid . . ."

  "Of course I'm not afraid!"

  But his face was paler than usual and she noticed his hands, unbuttoning his coat, trembling.

  "Leo, please! Listen!" she begged. "Leo, please! I . . ."

  "Shut up!" said Leo.

  XII

  THE EXECUTIVE OF THE ECONOMIC SECTION OF the G.P.U. called Andrei Taganov into his office.

  The office was in a part of the G.P.U. headquarters' building which no visitors ever approached and into which few employees were ever admitted. T
hose who were admitted spoke in low, respectful voices and never felt at ease.

  The executive sat at his desk. He wore a military tunic, tight breeches, high boots and a gun on his hip. He had close-cropped hair and a clean-shaved face that betrayed no age. When he smiled, he showed short teeth and very wide, brownish gums. His smile betrayed no mirth, no meaning; one knew it was a smile only because the muscles of his cheeks creased and his gums showed.

  He said: "Comrade Taganov, I understand you've been conducting some investigations in a case which comes under the jurisdiction of the Economic Section."

  Andrei said: "I have."

  "Who gave you the authority to do it?"

  Andrei said: "My Party card."

  The executive smiled, showing his gums, and asked: "What made you begin the investigation?"

  "A piece of incriminating evidence."

  "Against a Party member?"

  "Yes."

  "Why didn't you turn it over to us?"

  "I wanted to have a complete case to report."

  "Have you?"

  "Yes."

  "You intend to report it to the chief of your department?"

  "Yes."

  The executive smiled and said: "I suggest that you drop the entire matter."

  Andrei said: "If this is an order, I'll remind you that you are not my chief. If it is advice, I do not need it."

  The executive looked at him silently, then said: "Strict discipline and a straightforward loyalty are commendable traits, Comrade Taganov. However, as Comrade Lenin said, a Communist must be adaptable to reality. Have you considered the consequences of what you plan to expose?"

  "I have."

  "Do you find it advisable to make public a scandal involving a Party member--at this time?"

  "That should have been the concern of the Party member involved."

  "Do you know my . . . interest in that person?"

  "I do."

  "Does the knowledge make any difference in your plans?"

  "None."

  "Have you ever thought that I could be of service to you?"

  "No. I haven't."

  "Don't you think that it is an idea worth considering?"

  "No. I don't."

  "How long have you held your present position, Comrade Taganov?"

  "Two years and three months."

  "At the same salary?"

  "Yes."

  "Don't you think a promotion desirable?"

  "No."

  "You do not believe in a spirit of mutual help and cooperation with your Party comrades?"

  "Not above the spirit of the Party."

  "You are devoted to the Party?"

  "Yes."

  "Above all things?"

  "Yes."

  "How many times have you faced a Party Purge Committee?"

  "Three times."

  "Do you know that there is another purge coming?"

  "Yes."

  "And you're going to make your report on that case you've investigated--to your chief?"

  "Yes."

  "When?"

  "At four o'clock this afternoon."

  The executive looked at his wristwatch: "Very well. In an hour and a half then."

  "Is that all?"

  "That's all, Comrade Taganov."

  A few days later, Andrei's chief called him into his office. The chief was a tall, thin man with a pointed blond beard and a gold pince-nez on a high, thin nose. He wore the expensive, blondish-brown suit of a foreign tourist; he had the long, knotty hands of a skeleton and the appearance of an unsuccessful college professor.

  "Sit down," said the chief, and rose, and closed the door.

  Andrei sat down.

  "Congratulations, Comrade Taganov," said the chief.

  Andrei inclined his head.

  "You have done a valuable piece of work and rendered a great service to the Party, Comrade Taganov. You could not have chosen a better time for it. You have put into our hands just the case we needed. With the present difficult economic situation and the dangerous trend of public sentiment, the government has to show the masses who is responsible for their suffering, and show it in a manner that will not be forgotten. The treacherous counter-revolutionary activities of speculators, who deprive our toilers of their hard-earned food rations, must be brought into the full light of proletarian justice. The workers must be reminded that their class enemies are plotting day and night to undermine the only workers' government in the world. Our toiling masses must be told that they have to bear their temporary hardships patiently and lend their full support to the government which is fighting for their interests against such heavy odds, as the case you've discovered will display to the public. This, in substance, was the subject of my conversation with the editor of the Pravda this morning, in regard to the campaign we are starting. We shall make an example of this case. Every newspaper, every club, every public pulpit will be mobilized for the task. The trial of Citizen Kovalensky will be broadcast into every hamlet of the U.S.S.R."

  "Whose trial, comrade?"

  "The trial of Citizen Kovalensky. Oh, yes, of course, by the way, that letter of Comrade Syerov which you attached to your report on the case--was that the only copy of it in existence?"

  "Yes, comrade."

  "Who has read it besides yourself?"

  "No one."

  The chief folded his long, thin hands, the tips of his fingers meeting, and said slowly: "Comrade Taganov, you will forget that you've ever read that letter."

  Andrei looked at him silently.

  "This is an order from the committee which investigated your report. However, I shall take the time to explain, for I appreciate your efforts in the matter. Do you read the newspapers, Comrade Taganov?"

  "Yes, comrade."

  "Do you know what is going on in our villages at the present time?"

  "Yes, comrade."

  "Are you aware of the mood in our factories?"

  "Yes, comrade."

  "Do you realize the precarious equilibrium of our public opinion?"

  "Yes, comrade."

  "In that case, I do not have to explain to you why a Party member's name must be kept from any connection with a case of counter-revolutionary speculation. Is that clear?"

  "Perfectly, comrade."

  "You must be very careful to remember that you know nothing about Comrade Pavel Syerov. Am I understood?"

  "Thoroughly, comrade."

  "Citizen Morozov will resign from his position with the Food Trust--by reason of ill health. He will not be brought into the case, for it would throw an unfavorable light on our Food Trust and create a great deal of unnecessary comment. But the real culprit and dominant spirit of the conspiracy, Citizen Kovalensky, will be arrested tonight. Does that meet with your approval, Comrade Taganov?"

  "My position does not allow me to approve, comrade. Only to take orders."

  "Very well said, Comrade Taganov. Of course, Citizen Kovalensky is the sole legal, registered owner of that food store, as we've checked. He is an aristocrat by birth and the son of a father executed for counter-revolution. He has been arrested before--for an illegal attempt to leave the country. He is a living symbol of the class which our working masses know to be the bitterest enemy of the Soviets. Our working masses, justly angered by lengthy privations, by long hours of waiting in lines at our co-operatives, by lack of the barest necessities, will know who is to blame for their hardships. They will know who strikes deadly blows at the very heart of our economic life. The last descendant of a greedy, exploiting aristocracy will pay the penalty due every member of his class."

  "Yes, comrade. A public trial with headlines in the papers and a radio microphone in the courtroom?"

  "Precisely, Comrade Taganov."

  "And what if Citizen Kovalensky talks too much and too near the microphone? What if he mentions names?"

  "Oh, nothing to fear, Comrade Taganov. Those gentlemen are easy to handle. He'll be promised life to say only what he's told to say. He'll be expectin
g a pardon even when he hears his death sentence. One can make promises, you know. One doesn't always have to keep them."

  "And when he faces the firing squad--there will be no microphone on hand?"

  "Precisely."

  "And, of course, it won't be necessary to mention that he was jobless and starving at the time he entered the employ of those unnamed persons."

  "What's that, Comrade Taganov?"

  "A helpful suggestion, comrade. It will also be important to explain how a penniless aristocrat managed to lay his hands on the very heart of our economic life."

  "Comrade Taganov, you have a remarkable gift for platform oratory. Too remarkable a gift. It is not always an asset to an agent of the G.P.U. You should be careful lest it be appreciated and you find yourself sent to a nice post--in the Turkestan, for instance--where you will have full opportunity to display it. Like Comrade Trotsky, for instance."

  "I have served in the Red Army under Comrade Trotsky."

  "I wouldn't remember that too often, Comrade Taganov, if I were you."

  "I won't, comrade. I shall do my best to forget it."

  "At six o'clock tonight, Comrade Taganov, you will report for duty to search Citizen Kovalensky's apartment for any additional evidence or documents pertaining to this case. And you will arrest Citizen Kovalensky."

  "Yes, comrade."

  "That's all, Comrade Taganov."

  "Yes, comrade."

  The executive of the Economic Section of the G.P.U. smiled, showing his gums, at Comrade Pavel Syerov and said coldly: "Hereafter, Comrade Syerov, you will confine your literary efforts to matters pertaining to your job on the railroad."

  "Oh, sure, pal," said Pavel Syerov. "Don't worry."

  "I'm not the one to worry in this case, I'll remind you."

  "Oh, hell, I've worried till I'm seasick. What do you want? One has only so many hairs to turn gray."

  "But only one head under the hair."

  "What . . . what do you mean? You have the letter, haven't you?"

  "Not any more."

  "Where is it?"

  "In the furnace."

  "Thanks, pal."

  "You have good reason to be grateful."

  "Oh, sure. Sure, I'm grateful. A good turn deserves another. An eye for an eye . . . how does the saying go? I keep my mouth shut about some things and you keep others shut for me about my little sins. Like good pals."