He was a little older and she was sure her inexperience with the world would stop him from embarking on any type of meaningful relationship, even if they did live closer. Didn’t he show her for the last full month that she expected more than he was willing to give? She knew it was foolish to try to prove she could do it alone, but she did it nonetheless out of hurt and anger. And a secret hope. A hope that he would come after her, change her mind.
She understood she could get home in a day and a half but if she drove two long days she would get some sleep and she knew that was better. Besides it was winter. She should be rested. She knew Liam would be angry and shivered with excitement and dread.
Jocelyn became aware when Liam figured her out as he was on the phone burning it up with calls. She answered the first few calls, let him first demand, then threaten, cajole, and followed it up by a repeat of demanding that she stop and wait for them. It had almost worked but she didn’t trust he cared for her like she cared for him. Finally, she did not answer anymore and when she stopped for the night for some sleep, she listened to the weather report.
There was going to be a blizzard before too long so she texted them with the change in weather. She said she was going to drive through after a few hours of sleep so she wasn’t caught in the weather and proceeded to do that very thing. She could feel the almost desperation in Liam’s texts and the pleading in Kelli’s, but Jocelyn was determined to get home under her own steam if for no other reason but to prove she did not need his help, she could handle this drive and life without him.
Continually Liam, and later Kelli, tried to get hold of her and she occasionally answered them. When she passed Sheridan, she texted again saying she was fine and where she was. That information was followed by several more calls and text responses. They were begging her to stop at their parents’ home. She didn’t. When she arrived in Bismarck, she texted that she was home safely, but there was no answer and it saddened her a bit. I must have made Liam so angry that he isn’t going to answer, she told herself. Well, that was the end of an almost relationship, she thought.
As Jocelyn walked into the house, she saw her mother was answering the phone. Jocelyn returned her mother’s smile and wave followed by a hug. She then brought her bag to what was now her sister’s room. She had not thought of it but was glad her sister had left the other twin bed in throom because since it was Rachel’s room now, she didn’t have to. Her father was still at work and her sister was out doing something. Jocelyn had been thrilled when she heard Rachel had been able to find a helper job in a small advocacy office of only women for a few hours a week. She was healing.
Jocelyn went back into the kitchen where her mother was just saying goodbye to someone and held out the phone to her with a smile.
"I need something for tonight’s dinner so I’ll be back, the phone is for you," indicating the phone she still had in her hand.
"Hello?"
"You need a spanking. A hard, bare-assed spanking," said Liam calmly in his smooth, velvety deep voice.
"Oh. Umm. Did you make it home before the weather turned?" Jocelyn was aware of the heat rising in her face and in her core as well as her bottom muscles twitching. She already had the telltale tingle that told her she was gushing. Her voice was shaking with a nervous tremor.
Ignoring her question, he continued, "Do you remember that you agreed to not do anything unsafe, beag dána amháin?"
"Umm, no, and what did you just say to me?"
Liam ignored her request for the translation to ‘naughty little one’ and asked "Did you say ‘no’ you don’t remember?"
"Oh, I mean, yes I remember saying I wouldn’t do anything I thought was unsafe. Liam, I did not believe this was unsafe."
"Well, in that case, we are going to change the ground rules, mo beag amháin, my little one. You definitely were unsafe driving this distance, going north in the middle of winter, alone. And you are definitely due a spanking."
Jocelyn had snapped out of drowning in his commanding voice enough to say, "Well, you are not man enough to give it to me and there is no man I would allow to do that."
Liam laughed and said, "We will see mo beag amháin, my little one, we will see."
Jocelyn ignored his assured laugh but sensing that familiar warmth with being called Liam’s little one, she tremored.
She continued, "Tell Kelli I will see her back at school. Have a wonderful Christmas season, Liam, good-bye." Her traitorous voice sounded yearning even to her own ears.
Jocelyn hung up confused about the combination of irritation and excitement her conversation with Liam had on her. But there was one thing she was very sure of—Liam excited her like no other man had and she wanted to be with him, but she was not going to subject herself to the emotional upheaval that being with him brought with it. No, she had learned her lesson the hard way. She needed to figure out a way to move on from Liam O’Connor.
The Christmas season and home life was different as it is when you go back after leaving home to live on your own. While Jocelyn loved being home, she became sadly aware that she probably would not be back for the summers. She might make the mid-year trips but not the summers because the jobs were more plentiful in Sacramento and the pay was better. She needed that extra money to pay for her fifth year of college and she could not risk going home with Liam in tow.
It was time to return to Sacramento. Her mother made sure she planned a final dinner for her and seemed a bit preoccupied with the early preparation of it. She wanted Jocelyn to help prepare the meal and made excuses for her to not leave until the next morning. Her mother offered to wash her last load to send all clean clothes back with her. But when it looked like Jocelyn was going to take them dirty because her mother was taking too long to get to them, Rihanna decided to throw her daughter’s clothing in. She strategically left them in the washer for half the day. Finally, the clothes were in the dryer and Jocelyn would be ready to go first thing in the morning. All that being said, her family seemed to be focused on distracting her from leaving earlier than the next morning. Not that she would have gone at night, but it was a bit odd.
The atmosphere had been that of sadness because the family understood that this was going to be the last real visit for a while. The tide had changed, seasons had shifted, and Jocelyn was a young woman with her life to explore. Rachel did not seem too upset with the changes, but she was learning how to be a young lady. With the help of a counselor she worked with often, she was learning how to deal with the attentions of young men without panicking. She would not be ready to date for a while, but she didn’t panic if she were in a room that included young men, now.
Jocelyn’s thoughts were bittersweet. She knew that she had effectively made the final break with Liam. He had not called her once in the whole time she had been visiting at home. She lived only about six hours away and he obviously knew her home phone number but he had made no attempt whatsoever to call and she was not too naïve to read that statement clearly.
No, she would continue on her path of becoming a counselor to those dealing with trauma and with that came a sad ache of loss but renewed direction, a new hope. There was an expectation of things to come, changes happening and sometimes the air seemed to fairly sizzle with it. That was how the last evening of Jocelyn’s stay for the winter break appeared to be, sizzling with expectation.
Chapter Four
The Resolution
As they were preparing for the send-off dinner, Jocelyn was frosting the cake her mother had decided was a must for tonight’s dessert. Jocelyn chalked all of this up to her mom’s sadness over the fact that she was leaving soon and her mother’s love of celebrating, no matter what the occasion.
Now as she was finishing up the final touches to the frosted cake, her mother took a call and then excused herself. She needed to grab something from the root cellar and dragged Rachel to help her. It was almost comical how they had exited and Jocelyn chuckled at the silliness of it. Almost at once, there was a knock on the doo
r. Jocelyn opened the door to a broad chest in a flannel shirt and jeans. He had the same look of comfort and strength he had in August when she stood staring at him in the doorway. The sight of Liam O’Connor, who displayed a slow grin on his face was enough to necessitate her bracing her hand on the wall for stability. He stepped into the room and closed the door before he pulled her into his arms to kiss her gently and then more forcefully. Jocelyn did nothing at first, but regaining her composure and control she tried to resist. Finally, she moaned as she leaned into him. Lord, had she missed him. What a complication.
"Get your coat."
"What?"
"Get your coat, it is cold out here and I want to take you somewhere."
"I can’t. My mom will wonder where I am."
"No, she won’t. She will wonder where you are if we aren’t back for dinner."
It suddenly dawned on her. "She is in on you coming here, isn’t she?"
Liam grinned and pushed her to get her coat. Jocelyn handed him the spreader knife she had been using on the frosting and went to get her jacket. When she came back, Liam had licked the knife clean and grabbed her hand, closing the door behind them. He picked her up and sat her in the pickup, told her to buckle, and closed her door. He walked around, slid into his seat, and started to drive.
"Liam, why are you here and where are we going?" Although, she was sure she could answer the first question—he was here to make sure she had an escort back. The second one was legitimate.
"I think you can answer your own question as to why I am here and the second inquiry I will explain in a few moments." Liam soon pulled into a ranching drive about ten miles down the road, asking how her holiday was and was she ready to go back to school. Jocelyn answered with care, responding to each question cautiously, afraid he was going to ask a trick question. He never did. Then turning onto a side road indicated by the GPS, he drove about another half mile to a pull-off where he stopped in front of a small cabin.
"How did you know this was here? I didn’t know it was here."
"Met some people while I was getting my degree and one of them owns this property. When I told him I needed a little place to hang my hat for a day or two, he said for me to feel free to use this cabin. Took a bit to find it, but once I did, I put the coordinates in the old GPS and it is easy to find again. Out you go beag amháin." Liam raised his eyebrows for a moment and said, "Aren’t you going to ask me what I said?"
"Nope, I know what you said, little one. I remembered. Why are we here, Liam? And why are you here at all?"
"Well, I had a talk with your mom," Liam started and Jocelyn interrupted sarcastically, "Oh, that I already figured out."
He gave her a look that she interpreted to mean, that is enough. "And next after I spoke to your dad…"
"You talked to my father as well?" Jocelyn’s voice got louder as Liam led her into the warm cabin closing the door behind them.
"After I had spoken to your father," he repeated for effect, "he told me that he had not wanted you to drive to school alone the first time, but you insisted. And what I have understood is that what you want, you kick up enough dust that you get it. He and I talked about how you driving up in December was risky and how driving back in January even more so. In other words, you aren’t going to do that anymore, Jos. Once your dad and I spoke, I offered to come and drive down to Sheridan behind you and we would pick up Kelli. I would leave my pickup and I would drive Kelli’s car. You and Kelli can ride together. Then I’ll fly home. Your dad was relieved and his only worry was that you would kick a fit over it and make your mother upset."
"You can’t high-handedly swoop in when I don’t ask for any help and take over my life. I am an adult and I can do as I please."
"Right, exactly what your dad and I thought you might say." Liam stood up from his seat, grabbed Jocelyn’s arm, brought her back to his chair, flipped her over his knee, and held her in place as she began to kick.
"I am not yours to command. You can’t just call me when you want, ignore me when you say you care and think I am going to listen to anything you say."
He started to soothe her by rubbing her back and saying, "Shh, you are all right. Calm, settle a bit, there you go. I know. You are so right. I promise things will be all right, muirnín. Things will be different, better, starting today."
"Liam, what in heaven’s name are you doing?"
"Well, it should be obvious. Since I owe you this for sneaking off to come up here without an escort, and I need to ensure you are respectful to your folks, this is an insurance policy of sorts. It is important that you don’t browbeat them into letting you drive back alone. I thought we would get this out of the way now. Plus, since I need to guarantee your compliance to go back without sneaking off again, I can cover that as well. I believe I am keeping my word, giving a warning and providing future good behavior. I am sure that you can understand the economy of this one spanking meeting all of those needs is a good use of energy."
"I do not! Liam O’Connor, you do not get to treat me that way. I don’t belong to you like a possession. You aren’t my father and even he would never spank me."
"Well, from what I understand, he wishes he had done a bit more often. Maybe a bit later in life as well, so you would have recognized the need to respect your parents’ wishes even when you disagree. And you do belong to me as I belong to you."
"I respect my parents’ wishes."
"So you are telling me that you drove all the way to California without anyone because no one wanted to go with you? Or no one cared that you drove alone?"
Jocelyn didn’t respond, thereby answering the question for him.
"Yep, it’s what I thought, you deserve this beag amháin, and I need you to have it so that you are clear on when I promise something, I do it. I say about ten for sneaking off, ten for disobeying my direction, ten for not answering my calls, ten for disrespecting your parents and five for remembering in the future. Take it like a lady and I will not add extras. Kick and scream and I will start over every time. Do you understand?"
"Good to know you keep some of your promises, but you don’t have that right. You forgot me after the novelty wore off and you didn’t care then. Not at the end of the semester, not during this break and you don’t carry an inherent right to me when you want it."
Liam paused for a moment, still rubbing her back as though he was contemplating his answer.
"I didn’t realize it, but I now know how much I hurt you. Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you fume and build up bad feelings and hurt? I will make it up to you. It was never my intent, but I swear we will get this thing right. Please trust me to do the right thing."
She wanted to trust him so desperately she nodded her head.
"Okay," he said briskly, "let’s get this over with and move on to the critical stuff."
Jocelyn realized he was really going to do this, he was actually going to spank her. Her core began to spasm and her bottom clench. Why did this excite her and anger her at the same time? The next thought was, I am in jeans, he won’t even hurt, and that was when the first swat landed and she screeched.
"Liam, that hurts. Stop right this minute. Oh, Mary Mother of God, what are-Ow! Liam, please, please stop. Ow!" Soon she was reduced to squeaks and she began to kick.
"Well, we start over, what a waste of four swats. Remember what I said, no kicking or I start over. Good girl, that’s my baby."
Jocelyn did some quick mental self-talk and decided that if she toughed it out, he would be done. A part of her was outraged and she envisioned telling her parents what he did and they would escort him quickly out the door. The other, louder part, said he cared about her enough to correct her behavior. His methods needed work, but she had no doubt that he cared. He started up again and she was determined he would not hear her squeals and she would not kick. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing or hearing her break down. Nope, just get this thing over with and on to other things.
"That cleared up the
sneaking," Liam stated after peppering her bottom for the first ten after restarting. "Now the disobedience."
If possible, the next ten were worse than the first ten, each smack finding a new spot to overlap and insult, leaving her bottom scorching. And something else that she refused to acknowledge, slippery lady bits.
As Liam discussed her deliberate disobedience and flowed into the disregard of her parents’ wishes which he deftly slid into and then her refusal to answer or heed his calls. He seemed to be especially deliberate on this round of swats as he laid another ten on her upturned bottom. He concentrated on her thighs. As she tried to ignore her insulted bottom, she unconsciously focused on the lesson he was pounding into her. She acknowledged her safety was at stake.
She began to realize how she really did do what she wanted. Even when her parents had asked her to do something else, she usually found a way to get around them. Tears started to gather and spill over into her hands on the floor and her nose began to run.
"Now the final five for future minding." She didn’t even realize when those fell or when he was done with the spanking. Her remorse was real and if she were to be truthful to herself, it was a relief to not drive back alone. The next thing Jocelyn knew she was on his lap then in his arms, being carried to a loveseat sofa and cuddled. She wanted to crawl into his skin and reside there with him.
"Liam, I hate that you were right, I am such a horrible daughter and I don’t listen to others, I do what I want without thinking about anyone else."
"A muirnín that is not true. You are merely strong-minded and sometimes you take over instead of letting those who should be doing it, do it."
"That hurt."
"I bet. It was intended to hurt however, I think you needed it to get you back in focus. I meant it to be painful just enough to make an impression, but I didn’t harm you, I never would. I promise I never would."
Her Sweet Complication Page 4