And why was I thinking about Leo touching me? I was fresh out of a terrible relationship. The last thing I needed was to get wrapped up with another guy.
Granted, my body was telling me a different story. Whispering soft suggestions that lit up places I’d shut down months ago. Imagining those hands on my skin. That mouth—
God, what was I doing? Leo was just a friend.
Besides, the guy clearly had issues. I couldn’t pretend that wouldn’t be a problem. We were both a mess. And when did two messes ever make anything but a bigger one?
“Listen, I really appreciate you letting me crash here last night,” I said. Leo’s cat, Gigz, jumped up on the couch and curled up next to me. “But I don’t want to intrude on your space.”
“You can stay as long as you need.”
Temptation murmured in my ear. Stay.
Well, no one was saying I had to make permanent decisions today. “Thank you.” I set my empty cereal bowl down and pulled the blanket up higher. “It’s so cozy in here. Like a secret hiding place. Is that weird?”
He smiled, a subtle turning of his lips. “No, that’s… pretty accurate, actually.”
“It’s so nice to feel safe. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way.”
His hand twitched again. Was he thinking about reaching out to touch me? Was it wrong that I wanted him to so badly?
Probably.
“You’re very safe here,” he said. “I have video surveillance set up around the grounds and I can run it through facial recognition software. I can even set up alerts if there’s a match. If he shows up here, I’ll know about it.”
“That’s some high-tech stuff. Why do you have that kind of security at a winery?”
“We had some issues with theft a while back. Security cameras helped. And I guess…”
I waited for him to finish, but he didn’t. “You guess what?”
“My therapist thinks I’m trying to feel in control. That I go overboard on security in an attempt to create the illusion of safety.”
“Do you?”
“Probably.”
“Does it help?”
He looked down and rubbed his hands on his pants. “Some. But not enough.”
“Well, I don’t think we need to worry about Jace. For now, at least. I talked to the victim’s advocate assigned to my case at the hospital. She said he’ll be held without bail until there’s a hearing, which usually takes a day or two. If he’s released on bail, a protection order will be put in place. Even if he does find out where I am, he won’t be allowed near me.”
“He won’t find you,” Leo said, his voice suddenly hard. “If he comes anywhere near you, I’ll end him.”
I probably should have felt alarm at that statement. Leo had basically just said he’d kill my ex, and I could see in his eyes that he meant it literally. But all I felt was a warm sense of security and gratitude.
“I’m done with him,” I said. “I just need you to know that. I’m not going back. Ever.”
“I know.”
That crackling tension was back, charging the air between us. I’d thought that spark I’d felt when I’d seen him at the wedding—before I’d known who he was—had been a fluke. But I felt it now, and if anything, it was stronger than before.
Gigz stood and stretched, arching her back. Leo absently scratched between her ears. With a quick jerk of her head, she tried to bite his hand.
“Hey.” He shooed her off the couch. “Why do you have to be an asshole, Gigz? I was being nice.”
I laughed. “Cats generally are.”
“Yeah. She wasn’t my idea. My mom adopted her for me a few years ago. I guess she thought I needed company.”
I nibbled on my bottom lip. “Did you name her Gigz after me?”
He opened his mouth to reply, but his phone buzzed. Scowling, he pulled it out of his pocket and swiped to answer. “Yeah?”
I could hear the voice on the other end.
“Leo! Morning, bro.”
“Hi, Coop. What do you need?”
“Nothing, man. I’m just calling to check up on you two. How’s Hannah-banana? Wait, that’s a shitty nickname. I bet everyone calls her Hannah-banana. That’s shockingly unoriginal of me.”
Sorry, Leo mouthed.
I shrugged. “He’s not wrong.”
“Hannah’s fine.”
“I’m so disappointed in myself,” Cooper said. “I’ll do better next time. So what time should we come over?”
“What?” Leo asked.
“What time?” Cooper asked again. “Amelia’s making cookies. Cute, right? My Cookie baking cookies?”
“Sure, cute. But you don’t need to come over.”
“We totally can. It’s no problem.”
Leo took a deep breath. “Maybe later, okay?”
“Later? But—wait, hold on a second.” His voice got quieter, but I could still hear him. “That’s true. You’re so good. Why are you so amazing? Leo, Amelia said Hannah probably needs a little space today, so we’ll just drop off our cookies this afternoon. Because you still need cookies, am I right?”
“I guess so. Thanks.”
“I’ll run interference for you today, too, buddy. Keep everyone away. Because you realize the entire family is kind of freaking out. But that way you can spend time with your girl.”
“She’s not my…” Leo closed his eyes and let out a breath.
“Right, I get it. Not yet. Cool. How are you, though?” Cooper asked.
“I’m okay. I saw Mom this morning and…” He met my eyes. “Yeah, I’m all right.”
“Good to hear it, bro.”
“Thanks for checking up on us,” he said. “But I have to go.”
“Yeah, you do. Hannah needs you, man. Take care of that girl. She’s a sweetheart. She has awesome tattoos, too. I forgot to tell her that. Did you tell her about mine?”
“No.”
“I’ll show her next time we hang out. Later, brother.”
“Bye, Coop.” He ended the call and put his phone down. “Sorry about that. Cooper’s basically a puppy on crack. But he means well.”
I thought about what Cooper had said last night. How he’d given me everyone’s phone number in case Leo needed help. “He obviously cares about you a lot.”
“He does. I shouldn’t let him annoy me so much. He’s just a lot to handle sometimes. Don’t worry about my family, though. They’re nosy as fuck, but they won’t bother you.” His phone buzzed again, and he picked it up. “See? Nosy. My sister, Brynn. At least she just texted. She wants to know if we need anything from the store.”
“That’s sweet.”
“She’s just looking for an excuse to come over. Joke’s on her, though,” he said with a little grin. “I’m an expert at ordering what I need without leaving the house.”
“You must be.” It was nice to hear some levity in his voice when he talked about this. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Can you leave again?”
Swallowing hard, he looked away. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want to try?”
“Now?”
“Sure.” I could see the anxiety in his expression, but I had a gut feeling about this. If he waited too long to go out again, he might never do it. He needed a little push.
He rubbed his hand over his beard a few times. “Okay. Where?”
I thought about it for a second. He was clearly self-conscious about his appearance. A restaurant was probably too much. He might feel like people were staring. But maybe a store. We’d be moving, walking around, so less likely to garner looks. And if he started to freak out, it would be easy to leave quickly.
“Let’s go to a store. We don’t even need to buy anything. Just a quick trip.”
“A store?”
“I’ll be right there with you the whole time.” I stretched out my leg and nudged his thigh with my toes. “Come on. I’ll go looking like this.”
“You look
fine.”
“I do not.” I nudged his thigh again, mostly for the excuse to touch him. “I saw myself in the mirror. I look like hell. But I still think we should go out.”
“One store.”
“Yep.”
“Then come back.”
“Right back here. Then we can stay in for the rest of the day.”
He laughed softly, reaching out to squeeze my foot. I felt a little zing at the contact. “All right. Let’s do this.”
I got up—somewhat reluctantly, because he was still touching my foot—and went back to his bedroom to change. As much as I wanted to hunker down in his house and lick my wounds, I knew he needed this. He’d been such a good friend to me. The least I could do was return the favor.
There wasn’t much I could do about my face. Makeup wouldn’t cover the bruises, let alone the swelling. Sunglasses would help, but I’d just have to accept that I looked like I’d had the shit beat out of me. Which I had, so what did I expect?
Looking at my face made me think of Jace. I was still worried about what was going to happen with him. He was in jail for now, but what if he decided to come after me when he got out?
I couldn’t worry about that today. And being here made that feel like less of a present threat. Leo had said he’d keep me safe, and I believed him.
Pushing Jace from my mind, I fished a sweater out of my bag. The leggings I had on would have to do; putting on jeans would be too difficult with only one arm. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get the sweater on by myself, so I brought it out to the other room.
“Can I get a hand with this?” I asked.
Leo stood. “Sure.”
With gentle hands, he helped me out of my sling, pulling it over my head. I stretched out my arm and opened and closed my fist a few times. He bunched up the bottom of the sweater and held it open while I put my arms through, then helped me get it over my head. I leaned closer as he pulled it down—close enough to smell him.
We both paused, as if we were frozen, hesitating just inches apart. His arms were around me without touching, his hands still holding the hem of my sweater. Both hands. His body was so close. That broad chest and wide shoulders. That beard, beckoning me to run my fingers through it.
He cleared his throat, letting go of my sweater, and stepped away.
“Thanks,” I said. God, I’d probably made him uncomfortable. He kept more distance between us as he helped me put my arm back in my sling. “Ready?”
“Yeah.”
We went outside but I paused next to my car. “Sorry if this is a dumb question, but can you drive?”
“It’s been a while, but I can, yeah.”
“Good.” I tossed him my keys. “It’s an automatic, but driving one-handed isn’t easy.”
We got in the car and drove to the winery entrance. Leo only hesitated a few seconds before pulling out onto the road, although he gripped the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white.
There was a corner store not far from Salishan. Leo pulled into the parking lot and took some slow breaths.
I reached over to gently touch his shoulder. “You okay?”
“I know this is fine,” he said. “It’s just a store. People come here every day. But my body feels like it’s a war zone and if I don’t get to safety, I’m going to die.”
His confession startled me. I wondered—again—what had happened to him. But now didn’t seem like the time to ask.
“Is this enough?” I asked. “Should we go back?”
“No,” he said, his voice full of conviction. “No, let’s go in. I’ll feel like a failure if I don’t.”
My heart ached for him. Such a simple thing, and yet it was so difficult.
“You can do this. You’re safe with me.”
He turned, meeting my gaze, and nodded.
We got out of the car. Without thinking about it, I slipped my left hand into his right, giving it a squeeze. As soon as I’d done it, I wondered if I should have. It was clear he was protective of his space.
But he squeezed back as we walked to the store’s entrance.
I kept my hand in his as we walked up and down a few aisles, and tried to judge whether he’d be up for standing in line to buy a few things. I felt strongly that he needed this push, but I didn’t want to take it too far.
We paused in front of a display of chips and crackers. Leo hesitated and the hand gripping mine twitched. Finally, he reached out with his left hand and took a bag of pretzels.
“Do you need anything else?” he asked. His voice was quiet and controlled, but I could hear the strain.
“No, I think this is good for now.”
He nodded, squeezing my hand again.
The cashier was finishing up with another customer when we approached. Leo put the pretzels on the short conveyor belt. Reluctantly, I let go of his hand so he could get out his wallet.
“Find everything you need?” the cashier asked. She was young—probably late teens or early twenties—with a blond ponytail and perfectly groomed eyebrows.
“We did, thanks,” I said.
She looked up, her gaze landing on Leo. Her expression fell, her eyes widening, and her lips parted in surprise.
For a split second, I thought Leo wouldn’t notice. That he was too busy fishing a card out of the battered leather wallet he’d taken out of his pocket.
But he did notice.
He stiffened next to me. Bent his head down so his hair hung in his face and shifted to turn his left side away from her.
I cleared my throat and her eyes flicked back to me. Putting my good hand on my hip, I leveled her with a glare.
She seemed to get the message. Or maybe she was more shocked by my appearance than his. But at least she didn’t gape at Leo again.
I plucked the receipt from her hand and grabbed the bag.
“Have a nice day,” she said, her voice trailing off as we walked away.
Neither of us said anything as we went outside and got in my car. I wished Leo would hold my hand again—that had felt nice—but I was carrying the grocery bag. And he didn’t reach for me, anyway.
A few minutes later, we were pulling back into the winery. We passed the main building and pulled up in front of Leo’s house.
“You did it,” I said. “How do you feel?”
“Not as bad as I thought I would. Although it’s messed up how badly I want to go inside and close all the blinds. Maybe even hide in bed.”
Snuggle under the covers with Leo? Oh my god, that sounded good. Although he hadn’t necessarily meant with me.
I was really getting ahead of myself here.
“Well, I think you did amazing. Twice in less than twenty-four hours? Most guys can’t do that.”
That got a laugh out of him. He turned to me and gave me one of those rare smiles. “Thanks, Hannah.”
I loved that he’d called me by my real name. My nickname was fun—and he’d given it to me—but hearing him say Hannah did funny things to my insides.
So did seeing him smile.
We went inside, and I felt like today was a win. I was bruised and sore, but I already felt like I’d cast off the old Hannah and left her behind. My injuries would heal.
And so would his.
Sixteen
Hannah
When Leo had first offered me a place to stay, I knew he hadn’t meant his place. There were three guest cottages on the winery property: the one that had become Leo’s house, plus two others. Cooper lived in one with his girlfriend, Amelia. The other was empty—the perfect place for me to live while I got my life in order.
But Leo didn’t suggest I move my things into the other cottage. And I didn’t bring it up, either.
Instead, I went right on living with him. He’d insisted on letting me sleep in his room and after a while, I stopped protesting. He claimed he didn’t sleep much, anyway, which seemed to be true. We were both night owls, but I wasn’t sure when Leo slept. If I got up in the middle of the night, I’d find
him awake, sitting at his desk. And he was always up before me in the morning.
At first, I worried that I was intruding on his personal space and that I’d wear out my welcome. But as time went by, I noticed him making space for me.
We didn’t talk about that either. But one night he moved things around on his desk so we could game next to each other. A few days later, I woke up to my work PC all set up beside his array of monitors, with a second office chair right next to his.
I started putting my favorite coffee mug away in his cupboard. Seemingly out of nowhere, a toothbrush holder appeared in the bathroom with room for two brushes, along with more towels in the little cupboard. I stopped repacking my clothes and putting them away in my suitcase, and started hanging things up in his closet.
Little by little, I settled in. My injuries healed. For the first few days, we hunkered down in his house and didn’t leave again. It was like we both needed time to recover. But after a while, Leo started showing me around. Taking me on long walks around the property. I met his family. Had dinner with his mom.
None of them asked why I wasn’t living in the other cottage. And they seemed to regard me with a sense of awe—or maybe it was disbelief. I got the feeling that they hadn’t expected me to be real. Or perhaps they hadn’t expected me to stay.
Weeks went by. Then a month. I worked next to Leo. Gamed with him at night. Took care of my clients. I changed my address and sent a brief email to my parents to tell them I’d moved. I didn’t hear from Jace, although he wasn’t allowed to contact me and, as far as I could tell, he didn’t know where I was.
We spent time with Leo’s family—I loved how close they were—and took walks around the winery grounds. I coaxed Leo into going into town sometimes. We did things like grocery shopping and even graduated to sitting in a small café for coffee.
I loved it here. The slower pace of life. The quiet. I felt safer and more comfortable than I had in years. Sharing space with Leo felt as natural as breathing.
But we lived like roommates, and I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
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