Falling For Liam (Falling Book 9)

by Tracy Lorraine

  “My phone,” Nic whispers behind me. “That’s why I can’t bloody find it.”

  “BJ took it,” Dec says to Nic, his tone pleading for forgiveness.

  It’s not them I’m mad at, though. It’s Liam. He should have known better than just to storm in like that.

  “I tried stopping them,” Dec pleads again. “But we just want to help, Liv. I got David to pack all your stuff. We all just want you happy, and safe.”

  “What if I wanted to go to the police? What if I already have, and they turn up to find they’re too late, that some dickheads have already made a head start?” Their faces pale as my words register.

  “Well, have you reported it?”

  I really want to make them stew, but I don’t have the energy to keep up the façade. “No,” I whisper.

  Liam

  I thought I’d made it very clear in the past that I’d do anything for her, and the second I locked eyes on the man who hurt her, there was no holding me back. As far as I’m concerned, she was mine from the moment I saw her. She’s mine to protect, and she’s going to have to get used to it, especially if she’s planning on sticking around.

  Dread fills me that she’ll go back to that arsehole. It’s taken the situation to get to this before she left, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that she’ll run straight back into his arms. He’s got some kind of hold over her, that much is obvious.

  I stand and take her anger. She aims all of it my way, and I hate the look in her eyes that suggests she’s disappointed in me. I did this for her. I’ve just got to hope that as the emotions from today wear off, she’ll be able to see that.

  “I need to get some sleep,” she says after a few minutes of awkward silence. She slams her glass down and walks through us as if we’re not there.

  We all stand and listen as she climbs the stairs and shuts the guest room door behind her.

  “I can’t believe you lot,” Nic says once Liv’s out of earshot. “Was that,” she says waving her hand, gesturing to my face, “necessary?”

  “Yes,” BJ states, sounding more serious than I’ve ever heard. “No man should get away with hitting a woman. Ever.”

  “I know, I agree but, still…” she breathes. “Don’t you think she’s got enough to worry about without you all storming in like white knights?”

  “We were trying to help,” I admit.

  “I know. I get it, I really do. But you should have thought about it a little more. About her feelings, not just your need for revenge. You’ve jeopardised any chance she had of getting him arrested. All it would do is get you idiots in trouble.”

  “Sorry, Mum,” BJ mutters in an amused tone.

  “I tried telling them it was a bad idea,” Dec pipes up, “but they were pretty set on it.”

  “She’s going to forgive me, right?” I ask, while everyone’s deep in thought.

  “Of course, dude. She’ll be thankful. You might even get some,” BJ says, wiggling his eyebrows.

  Turning from him, I look to Nic, who probably has a better response to my question.

  “Just give her time, Liam. Be her friend, support her. She’s been through a lot; the last thing she needs is you coming on hot and heavy.”

  “Now, get out of here and go sort your face.”

  “But—”

  “No, Liam. You need to give her space. You all do.”

  “But what if she’s not here in the morning?”

  “She’s not going anywhere.”

  “Hmmm…you said that last time.”

  “Just go.” She pins me with a look that stops any further argument, and BJ and I start to leave. “You, too,” she says, pointing a stern look at her fiancé.

  “Me?” he asks innocently.

  “Yes, you. Give us some space.”

  Dec looks gutted as he follows us out of Nic’s house.

  We walk towards the sea in silence. The events of today run around my head; thoughts of whether we should have dealt with things differently make me question everything, but every time the image of her covered in blood fills my mind, I know that I’d do it all over again. Anything for her.

  “Wanna drink?” BJ asks, nodding over to the shack.

  “Yeah, but not there. Let’s just go home. I’ve got a bottle of Jack to keep us company.”

  BJ’s never been much of a talker, but something about tonight has made me question what his life might have been like before we met. He’s all about the partying and having a good time. I never really stopped to question it before, but after everything, I can’t help the words falling from my lips. “What was that all about today?”

  “What?” he asks innocently, draining his glass.

  “The need to go after Liv’s boyfriend.”

  “He hurt her—well, his brother did. I will not stand by and watch any woman be treated like that by a man, no matter who he is.” His anger is palpable, and I can’t help thinking there’s so much more to it.

  His eyes find mine and I see a vulnerability in them that makes me swallow any more questions. BJ’s got secrets. Secrets he’s not going to open up about.

  “Okay…well, to revenge,” I say lifting my glass and breaking the sudden tension surrounding us. It’s clear he has nothing more to say on the subject, but the shadows in his eyes tell another story, one I hope he’s able to reveal one day.

  I lay in bed later that night. The room’s spinning from the Jack we knocked back out on the patio as we silently stared into the night, lost in our thoughts. My face throbs where he managed to get a good couple of punches in, but it’s nothing I can’t cope with. The image of her in my mind, battered and bruised, hurts more. Every muscle in my body is tense as I fight to stay put. My need to go to her and make sure she stays here this time is all consuming. I will not allow her to go back and put herself in danger, no matter what happens between us.

  Chapter Seven

  Olivia

  The alarm clock wakes me at 8am the next morning, and it takes me a few seconds to register why the voice talking to me is familiar. It’s Liam. The radio’s tuned to his morning show, and I sigh as his smooth voice washes over me. I tell myself I’m being ridiculous, but I swear I can hear the defeat and regret in his voice. For the first time since last night, I allow myself to feel grateful for what they did. It may have been misguided and stupid, but ultimately they were trying to protect me, and I can’t really argue with that—even if I am still livid they did it.

  Turning over, I curl into the pillow, trying not to put too much weight on any of my bruises, and I allow the sound of his deep voice filling my ears to relax me. The time we spent together all those weeks ago runs through my mind.

  I don’t really hear what he’s talking about until one question registers in my mind. “Have you ever done anything reckless for love? If the answer’s yes, call in. We’d love to hear your stories. Were you forgiven, or was it the end?” His voice takes on a deep, sombre tone, and I can’t help wondering if yesterday’s events spurred on this topic of conversation or whether it’s just a coincidence. I curl up in a ball and listen to the few stories his listeners call in with. Each time they say they were forgiven for their actions, Liam’s voice lightens a little. Of course I’m going to forgive him; I can’t hold it over him forever. He was only trying to protect me, after all, but I’m not ready just yet. His actions last night were thoughtless and reckless. I might not want to admit it, but I need him, and I need him safe. When he hits play on his next song, I can’t help but think he’s directing it personally to me as I listen to Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’. It feels like he’s trying to tell me everything he’s feeling—everything he wants—in those few lyrics.

  * * *

  I spend the next week hibernating inside Nic’s house, using any excuse I can think of not to allow her to drag me out into the big wide world beyond the front door. But I know I can’t keep up this recluse act much longer. This is her house. I need to allow her and Dec some space.

  “Morning, how
are you feeling?” Nic asks when she joins me in the kitchen where I’m making my morning coffee.

  “Better. The pain’s almost gone, and my face isn’t looking so bad.”

  “It’s a million times better,” she agrees when I look over at her. My swelling’s practically gone, and what were blue and purple bruises are now a dirty yellow colour. I’m sure I’d look totally normal if I were to put some make up on. But make up means I might have to leave the house, and I’m more than happy in here.

  “Hey, Liv,” Dec rumbles behind me, and when I turn again to look, he has his arms wrapped around Nic’s waist as he nibbles on the skin of her neck. Her eyes flutter closed as she sighs softly. A fresh shot of jealously washes through me just like it does every time I see them together. It’s a harsh reminder of what I don’t have but so desperately want. I want to be a man’s everything, I always have. Although, after everything that’s happened, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to trust a man ever again.

  I thought David was my knight in shining armour. A mutual uni friend set us up, but I was so busy with work that I kept him at arm’s length. That was, until we were on a night out together. I was at the bar in a club in Cardiff, waiting to be served and chatting to another customer, when he came barging over and ripped my drink out of my hands. I was pissed off. I’d been dancing all night and I was gasping. Turned out he watched the guy I was talking to spike it and he was saving me from the inevitable. The irony isn’t lost on me that that’s how we started yet we almost ended with him witnessing the exact thing that could have happened that night, only at the hands of his own brother. I was grateful, so I agreed to a date, and I guess the rest is history, as they say. Now, I’m in my best friend’s kitchen, with my stuff upstairs in a series of bin bags, trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my life.

  I know that I should probably ring my parents, tell them a cut down version of the truth and move back home. I could cover my remaining bruises and they’d be none the wiser, but I can’t think of anything more awful than having my mother breathing down my neck every day. If I’m really honest with myself, this is where I want to be, surrounded by people who accepted me the second I arrived, and who’ve protected me in a way I’ve never experienced before.

  Liam’s face flashes through my mind and I feel a little guilty about shutting him out this week. I know he’s desperate to see me. I’ve heard him begging Nic at the front door, but she kept to her word and didn’t allow him inside. Of course, I want to see him—that’s not the issue. The problem is that I’m scared. I know I’m going to take one look at him and he’s going to want more. I do, too. I have since the moment I first saw him. But what if, after everything, I’m not the person he thinks I am? What if it turns out that I’m not what he wants? I’m not sure I can cope with the rejection.

  “Liv?” Nic asks with a laugh.

  “Yeah, sorry.”

  “Come and sit down. We want to talk to you about something.”

  Glancing between her and Dec, my apprehension soon turns to a belly full of nerves.

  “Wha…what?”

  “It’s nothing to worry about. It’s just an idea we’ve had.”

  “Okay…” I grab my mug from the side and join them at the table.

  “So…Dec’s basically moved in here now, which means his room at the house is empty. We were wondering if you’d like it.”

  My eyes flick between the two of them but I’m too shocked to say anything.

  “Rent free,” Dec adds. “It’s just sitting there empty, so if it means you get some space to restart your life, then it’s all yours.” Tears begin to sting my eyes the more Dec talks. “It’s the best room in the house—views of the ocean, a balcony…”

  “Are you serious?” I ask, eventually finding my voice, even if it is a little gravelly.

  “Of course. Being stuck here in that little room with us isn’t a long-term solution, and we know how much it is to rent around here.”

  “That would be amazing. Thank you so much.”

  “You’re more than welcome. I’m sure the guys will love having a woman around.”

  The mention of who I’d be living with brings my earlier thoughts back to the surface. “I’m…uh…not sure they’ll—”

  “They’ll be fine. Just don’t let them walk all over you and expect you to do all the cleaning or any of that shit.”

  “Do they know about this?”

  “Not yet, but it’s my house. I can do what I want. They’ll be jealous as fuck as they’ve both had dibs on my room since we got together. We can move you in as soon as you’re ready. Nic’s already been over and cleaned it for you.”

  I’m utterly speechless. It’s more than anyone’s ever done for me, but the thought of living with BJ and Liam has my heart pounding.

  “What’s wrong?” Nic asks, seeing my panic.

  “It’s just…I’m not sure…I’m sorry.” Pushing the chair out behind me, I run from the room and up to the safety of my bedroom.

  It’s only a couple of minutes before a soft knock sounds out around the room. “Liv, can I come in?”

  “Yeah,” I breathe so quietly that she can’t have heard, but she lets herself in regardless.

  Sitting myself up, I lean back against the headboard, hugging my knees to my chest.

  Nic walks to the end of the bed before crawling up until she’s squeezed in beside me. She sits there in silence for the longest time. I don’t really want to talk, but I find the words falling from my lips, anyway.

  “I’m scared.” My voice is barely a whisper.

  “I know. But you’re safe here,” she says, not understanding what I mean.

  “I know I am. I’m not worried about him finding me. I’m scared of Liam,” I admit.

  “What, why?” She’s shocked, her voice giving her away before she turns to me, her brows drawn together. “Liam would never hurt you.”

  “Not intentionally,” I whisper as I stare at the wall ahead.

  “Liv?” The heat of her hand on my forearm forces me to look back at her.

  “I just…I know he wants more, and…” I trail off. My head’s such a mess, I’m not sure I can vocalise my thoughts.

  “You’re scared you won’t be what he needs?” Nic finishes for me.

  “Yeah. How’d you know?”

  “I can see it every time you look at him. Liam’s not David, Liv. He’s loyal, he’s determined, and most importantly, he’s got a massive heart. He doesn’t flaunt it around like BJ. He’s never told me why but I think he just wants the real thing, something a little more meaningful. He’d never push you into something you’re not ready for.”

  “But it’s so intense.”

  “Just tell him to cool it if it gets too much.”

  “Not him. Us. When we’re together, it’s just…ugh…I don’t know.” I drop my forehead to my knees as I try to get my thoughts together.

  “Just give it time, Liv. Stop worrying about what might happen and enjoy being here and not having to look over your shoulder every two seconds. If something is meant to happen with Liam, then it will. Stop putting pressure on yourself to be okay. You’ve just been through something massive; give yourself the time you need to deal with it all.”

  “But what if I can’t trust a man again?” I ask the question that’s really been bothering me. Every night, I wake up in a cold sweat, my skin prickling as I remember what it felt like when he touched me. What if I can’t cope with a man’s touch? What if it always reminds me of his disgusting hands on me?

  “If a man deserves your trust, he has to earn it. Whether that’s Liam or someone else you meet. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself to forget what happened. It’s only been a week. Just take each day as it comes. Let him in, let him be your friend. He won’t push unless you ask for it.”

  I rest back against the headboard and let out a long breath as I try to put my thoughts aside and focus on what Nic’s just said. I know she’s right, but rational thinking is
n’t my speciality right now.

  “Okay. You’re right.”

  “I know,” she states proudly. “So, how do you feel about moving to Dec’s house, really?”

  I let the question roll around my head for a few minutes. I’ve only been there once, but the memories make my lips twitch into a small smile. The house is massive but so homely at the same time—not what you’d expect from a bachelor pad, but it’s definitely a place I can see myself living in.

  “Good, actually. Plus, it’s time I got out of your hair.”

  “This isn’t about us. You’re more than welcome to stay as long as you need. We just thought you might want the space. This room’s barely more than a cupboard at best,” she says with a laugh.

  “Okay, let’s do this.” Jumping from the bed, I start grabbing the few things I have floating around the room.

  “Now?”

  “Now. Before I change my mind.”

  “Liv, I really mean it, you don’t—”

  “I’m joking. I’m ready.” I think.

  * * *

  Nic and Dec help me carry my few bags to my car before they follow me to the house. I tell them it’s not necessary, but they insist on getting me settled. As I pull up on the driveway, I realise the house is much bigger than I remembered. It’s got huge windows to make the most of the bay beyond, and a giant black front door. It looks like a perfect family home and nothing like the bachelor pad it really is.

  I’m lost in my thoughts, staring up at the brickwork, when Nic scares the shit out of me by looking through the car window. I scream in fright and my heart races in panic. I’m immediately transported back to that night last week when the door crashed open behind me.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Resting my head back for a few seconds, I take a deep breath and try to remind myself that I’m here and safe. I hate how that bastard still has an effect on me, but as much as I want to forget about that whole nightmare, I think I’d be kidding myself to think it’s going to happen overnight. He got himself deep inside my mind, and he knew it.