Surrendered

by Monica James

  My heart sinks further. The last few words are so ironic, I have to laugh.

  It’s perfect, baby.

  It’s anything but.

  I try my best to fake a smile, because I can’t ruin this moment for Jasper.

  “I’m so proud of you, Jasper.”

  The look on Jasper’s face is one of pure happiness.

  How the hell can I tell him now?

  “So what’s going on tonight?” I ask, remembering his conversation with Lucas.

  “Andy is throwing a party at Marian’s beach house. It’s gonna be huge,” he replies, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

  Jasper walks over to his phone and begins scrolling through his numbers. “I better get my shit organized. Get someone to cover my shift.”

  He turns in the direction of the bathroom and stops, spinning around to face me.

  “Shit, Ava, we were totally having a conversation before Lucas called. What were you going to tell me?”

  Looking at him, it takes all my willpower not to crumple into a heap of tears.

  “Oh, nothing. It can wait,” I reply, surprised I haven’t choked on my words.

  Whether Jasper is riding on cloud nine or he believes me, I will never know. But he gives me a big smile and heads into the bathroom, not pressing the issue.

  As soon as I hear the water running, I slump back onto the pillow in defeat.

  I’m certain my friend has a bottomless pit for a stomach.

  As I’m watching her pile topping after topping onto her rye bread in her kitchen, I wish I had her appetite. I haven’t eaten a thing all day, and I doubt I’ll be able to stomach anything ever again.

  “I agree, timing not cool. But Ava, seriously, you need to just do it,” says V while squashing down a whole baby beet onto her leaning pile of condiments.

  “I know, V, and I was going to do it today. Then your husband called and rained on my parade,” I answer, playing with the coffee mug that sits in front of me.

  V looks at her sandwich, which is about to collapse, and decides another piece of cheddar will balance it out.

  “Oh, Ava, please. If it wasn’t Lucas, you’d have used another excuse. Just do it already. Ha, well I guess you wouldn’t be in this position if you didn’t,” she replies with a smirk.

  I scrunch up my face, puzzled by her comment.

  She looks over at me, using her knife as a gesturing tool. “You know, ‘do it.’” She laughs at her inappropriate, lame joke.

  I’m glad someone is finding this funny.

  Rubbing my temples, I groan. “You are not helping.”

  V shrugs and completes her sandwich with an alfalfa sprout.

  She looks at it proudly. “And you went to school for this shit. Look at that,” she says, her lips all but smacking at the meal before her.

  She picks up the monster of a sandwich with both hands and carefully places it onto a plate, which looks dwarfed by its colossal size.

  She takes a seat across from me and I eye her lunch.

  “Have fun eating that.” I smirk when I notice the beetroot has bled through the bread.

  V picks it up while giving me a smug look. It collapses just before it reaches her mouth.

  I can’t help but laugh. “Karma’s a bitch, or in your case, a soggy sandwich.”

  She pouts and I laugh harder. Who would have thought a soggy sandwich in my best friend’s kitchen would cheer me up?

  V pushes away her plate and crosses her arms over her chest.

  “What are you wearing tonight?” she asks, ignoring my chuckling.

  That stops my laughing. I haven’t given it much thought and I really should, seeing as I would like to wear something show stopping for Jasper.

  “I’m not sure. I hate everything I own,” I confess.

  V cocks an eyebrow at me and a big smirk spreads across her heart shaped face.

  “Shopping?” she asks, hopeful I will say yes.

  I can’t say no to that face. “Sure, why the hell not. I better make use of this body,” I say, gesturing mockingly to my figure. “Before all I can fit into are baggy sweats and maternity bras.”

  V laughs hysterically, nodding. “Shit, you’re going to be a mini Buddha!”

  Gee, some best friend.

  Okay, I take it back.

  My best friend is never short of good ideas. Her suggestion of shopping was a brilliant idea.

  As I’m gazing at my reflection in the full length mirror on the back of V’s wardrobe door, I like what I see.

  I have opted for sexy, but casual, and chosen a royal blue A-line short crepe dress with a v-neck. And although it isn’t indecently short, I’ll have to ensure I don’t drop anything, because there’s no way I can bend down without flashing everyone in a five mile radius.

  The skirt is pleated, and although it pinches my midriff, I love it. My hair is simply styled, opting for it to be half up, half down. And my makeup is the usual¸ nothing heavy, but I have placed emphasis on my lips with a light pink lip-gloss.

  “You sexy bitch.” V smiles at me over my shoulder in the mirror. “Jasper is not going to be able to keep his hands off of you.” She witnesses the alarm in my face and laughs. “Google, Ava, make it your best friend. If we weren’t running late, I’d be all over finding out if you can bump uglies.”

  “It’s fine.” I shrug her crass comment off because I don’t want to think about it.

  “Oh yeah, like you’re not clawing at the walls,” V jokes while slipping on her cardigan.

  I laugh it off, but make a mental note to get onto Google as soon as possible.

  Peering up at the glass mansion before me, a thousand memories of this place assault my memory bank.

  The way I fit in Jasper’s arms for the first time will always be my most treasured memory. That night I knew that nothing between us would be the same ever again. I may have stupidly denied it, but from that night forward I was his, and I always have been ever since.

  “Stop with the reminiscing and let’s go,” V says, linking her arm through mine.

  “You can see your man and make new memories the quicker we get inside,” V jokes, slightly out of breath, as the walk up the hill is freakin’ steep.

  She’s right. I know I’m procrastinating as I’m scared to see Jasper. The longer I leave not telling him, the harder it gets.

  When we finally reach the front door and step into the extravagance, I take a deep breath for two reasons. One, I’m so outta shape and the windy driveway has given me a serious stitch, and two, I’ve just spotted Jasper talking to some blonde across the room.

  The fact some tramp is pawing him hungrily doesn’t bother me like it usually would.

  Kudos to me.

  But the fact I am impervious to her wandering hands is because of the way Jasper looks.

  There is only word that can describe him.

  Epic.

  I scan down his body and then back up again, not believing the exceptional sight before me.

  He has rolled the sleeves of a white button down shirt up past the elbows, exposing his taut forearms, and the shirt is tucked loosely into his tight fitting black jeans. And of course my eyes can’t help but linger on the parts of his body that the snug jeans emphasize.

  My gaze creeps further up his torso and I almost gag on my tongue when I see a thin black tie sitting slackly around his neck, giving him a casual, yet sophisticated look. And if that isn’t mouth watering enough, the first two buttons of his shirt are undone, calling attention to his chiseled upper body.

  Just when I thought he couldn’t possibly get any hotter, I see that his hair sits in an untidy, but styled mess, just the way I like. Mental images of me fisting that hair swarm my senses. And I have to remind myself we’re in the company of others, because in about five seconds, I’m going to push him into a closet and do unspeakable things to his face.

  As I meet his eyes, Jasper is totally aware that I have been intentionally eye-fucking him. But as he rewards me with a big dim
pled grin, I know he doesn’t mind one bit. I dare say he relishes in the thought that I am all but drooling over myself.

  Sadly, V’s squeal interrupts my inappropriate thoughts of defiling my boyfriend in public.

  “Hi, husband,” V chirps while Lucas wraps his big arms around his wife, kissing the side of her neck.

  I totally ignore them as my eyes are glued to Jasper, who’s walking towards me like an apparition of a Sex God.

  As soon as he’s a few feet away, I am assaulted by his familiar, warm smell, and holy hell, my hormones are prepped and ready to give Jasper his own personal lap dance.

  He wraps his long fingers around my waist, pulling me close so I’m flush against his hard body, and then he smashes his lips to mine. No words are needed as our actions speak louder than words.

  He deepens the kiss by wrapping a hand in my hair, pulling me closer to his mouth. I’m breathless from the intensity of his embrace, but I don’t care. Moaning when he slips in his tongue, my legs begin to tremble when he claims my mouth as his own.

  A loud wolf whistle alerts me to where I am, so I pull my lips away just before Jasper can deepen the kiss. I’m panting in wanton need and if I don’t break away now, I won’t be able to stop.

  Jasper half-heartedly lets me go, but still has a hold of my hair.

  His big blue eyes soften as they search my face. “How did I get so lucky? You are so fucking beautiful. Every time I see you, you take my breath away.”

  My mouth parts as I am touched by his words.

  He asked how he got so lucky. But he’s got it all wrong, because I’m the lucky one.

  “Well, you look pretty good yourself,” I smile looking down at his attire, toying with the end of his tie.

  Jasper smirks. “Glad you approve.”

  “I approve of anything you wear or don’t wear,” I add cheekily.

  Jasper’s eyes instantly heat at my comment.

  “Well, the latter part I can definitely manage. Speaking of which,” he says, pulling me closer into him. He lays a single kiss on my neck, just under my right ear, and that single action is enough to leave me clawing at him like a cat in heat.

  “You. Me. Tonight. Naked?” he says in a mere whisper.

  The images swimming around in my head are spreading goose bumps all over my body, but those images are sadly interrupted by a malicious snicker.

  “There you are,” sneers the blonde girl I saw pawing Jasper earlier.

  She looks at me challengingly, while crossing her arms over her bountiful chest, cocking a sculptured eyebrow.

  Oh bitch, please. You’re not even on a blimp on my radar. Compared to Indie, this girl looks like Mother Theresa.

  I give Jasper a quick peck on the cheek. “I’m going to go find V, who no doubt is raiding the liquor cabinet.”

  Jasper nods, giving me a small smile.

  I know he has to humor these girls, because at the end of the day they are his fans, and this, sadly, is one of the cons of being a rock star.

  “I’m holding you to your promise,” I say, full of assurance.

  Jasper smirks. “Yeah?”

  “You betcha,” I reply quickly, returning his grin.

  Random girl looks between us like conversational ping pong.

  “What promise? What’s she talking about, Jasper?” she asks, and I nearly reach forward to yank out her extensions when I hear Jasper’s name pass through her pouty lips.

  I take two steps away from her, before I toss over my shoulder, “The promise to fuck his brains out tonight.”

  And I take great satisfaction in seeing her mouth pop open and Jasper shaking his head with a dimpled smile.

  “Bye, lover,” I say, blowing him a kiss.

  Walking off smugly, I make sure I leave him with a clear view of my ass wiggling away from him.

  I chuckle to myself, thinking how much fun that was and how proud I am for not caving and running away. In the past, I would have let that girl get to me, but now, I find it all quite comical.

  After searching for my troublemaker of a friend for about five minutes, I finally find her.

  “Ava!” she screams, pulling the beer bong away from her ruby lips. “Come support me. I’m about to prove to the boys that I can drink more than them.”

  I chuckle as I approach.

  “V—” but she doesn’t let me finish.

  “Hold this,” she says, yanking off her bag and shoving it into my chest. She rolls up the sleeves of her cardigan and smirks. “Time to get serious.”

  After twenty minutes of watching V get absolutely sloshed, I decide to save my friend. “C’mon, Miss. I think you’ve had enough.”

  I walk over to where she stands in the kitchen, surrounded by random people. She has beer dripping down her chin, and that damn plastic pipe is still attached to her hand.

  Lucas lets out a loud chuckle while wrapping his hands around her tiny waist. “Ava’s right, babe.”

  V hiccups. “You’re just jealous,” she slurs, pointing her finger into his amused face.

  Lucas and I humor her. “Yes, we’re jealous. Now come outside and get some fresh air.”

  Lucas nods, his shaggy hair slipping into his eyes. “Come on, Bub, let me help you.”

  V shakes her head and sways. “I can walk out by myself you know. I have two left feet.”

  Lucas and I laugh at her drunkenness, and her position of beer bong queen is quickly challenged by some airhead who pries the hose from V’s hands.

  “Hey!” V yells, ready to play tug of war with this brunette bimbo.

  “C’mon, V, I have something really important to tell you,” I state, lying through my teeth. I know this will get her outside in an instant.

  “Oh! Why didn’t you say sooner?” she says, tossing the bong hose at the brunette and hurling her arm around my neck.

  Grabbing onto her wrist, I look over at Lucas, who mouths, “Thank you.”

  I give him a reassuring smile and push through the crowd.

  “You, young lady, need to come with a warning,” I joke, thankful the swarm of people let V and I through.

  V laughs hysterically. “You are my bestest friend, Ava Thompson, and I wuv you.”

  “You wuv me?” I ask, laughing at her pronunciation.

  My laugh dies however when I see the throng of patrons blocking my exit. When did all these people arrive? I wonder as I look at the endless amount of bodies mingling around the house.

  “Excuse me!” I yell to be heard over the music.

  I’m still holding onto V’s arm, which is around my neck, and I’m using my other hand to part the sea of unmoving people in front of us.

  Finally, after shoving my way through two brick shithouses, I look up and my heart plummets to the floor as the sight before me turns my stomach with nausea and pure fury.

  Indie has her arms wrapped around Jasper’s neck, her lips way too close to his mouth for my liking. Jasper is turning his head away, attempting to pry her fingers off the back of his neck, but she won’t let up.

  My face contorts in rage, and if I wasn’t holding onto V, I would be storming over there, giving her the beat down she deserves once and for all.

  V sees my fascination and follows my line of sight.

  “You’ve got to be shitting me!” V yells. “I’ve had enough of this bitch!” She shrugs out of my hold, screaming at the top of her lungs.

  “Keep your hands to yourself, you fucking home wrecker!”

  Indie turns, her high ponytail flicking like a whip. She glares at V and then her daggers are directed at me. That’s it! Game on!

  I flick a glance to Jasper, who looks mortified, and as he meets my eyes, he knows it’s on.

  Happy patrons have turned to look at the commotion, and I swear the music has dimmed slightly, preparing for the approaching smack down.

  Lucas is by V’s side in an instant, trying to calm down his angry, drunk wife, but she swats his hands away. I’m by her side, and I feel my fists clench of their own a
ccord.

  Indie’s hackles flare up as she takes a small step towards me and V. “Call me that again. I dare you,” she sneers, lunging for V.

  I see Jasper spring at Indie, his face absolutely livid, but Indie is stopped in her tracks as Lucas latches onto her arm, putting himself between V and Indie.

  “If you so much as touch her… you and I will have a problem,” he spits.

  In that moment, I could hug the hell out of him.

  “Walk away, Indie. Now,” Lucas commands, pinning her with a look dipped in venom.

  I have never seen this murderous side of Lucas, and Indie mustn’t be as dumb as she looks, because she backs away, tail between her legs, storming outside.

  Lucas looks at V, who is about to charge after her.

  “C’mon, V, it’s over. Let’s go home,” Lucas says, grabbing her arm lightly, but she rips out of his grip, eyes wild. Suddenly, I don’t like that look one bit. Narrowing her eyes, she glares at Jasper, whose face is twisted in rage and frustration.

  She points her finger at him, wielding it like a weapon. “How about you man the fuck up, Jasper, and tell that tramp once and for all to go to hell!”

  Jasper looks taken aback, and even though I agree with her, now is not the right time to discuss this.

  “V!” I reprimand, as I know what’s about to happen, but I’m powerless to stop it. She ignores me like I haven’t spoken.

  “Be a man and stick up for Ava, for fuck’s sake! You were man enough to get her pregnant, so how about you man up where it matters!”

  In this moment, everything freezes, and my eyes are the only things that move, taking in the chaos before them.

  V is looking at me, open mouthed, when the realization of what she’s just said sinks in.

  I watch as Lucas grabs V protectively, pushing her behind him, knowing that she’s going to cop an ear bashing.

  My eyes then move over to some random girl, who’s looking between us with a Fight! Fight! Fight! expression plastered all over her drunken face.

  Some couple to her left are eating each other’s faces off, totally oblivious to the drama unfolding before them.