Surrendered

by Monica James

  The lights have dimmed, but I can clearly see the three bimbos, standing behind her, holding onto their microphones, heads bowed low.

  What the hell are they doing? They look like they’re backup singers for a wannabe Taylor Swift.

  All my questions are answered when a bright spotlight shines down on Indie, and as soon as the music starts, she raises her fist in the air and begins tapping her foot in sync to the beat.

  She spins around and begins singing, “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne. She points at Jasper, and curls her finger, beckoning him to come to her.

  You’ve got to be shitting me!

  Jasper groans and throws his head back in frustration, while I am about to commit first degree murder!

  “That’s it! She’s going down,” sneers V, standing up abruptly.

  But Lucas grabs onto her hand and pulls her back down.

  As Indie gets to the chorus, she and her entourage, who are her backup singers (vomit), begin scaling the stairs like they’re performing on Broadway. Then, if that isn’t bad enough, as Indie descends the last step, she stops and bends, and begins flicking her hair from side to side. Total stripper move.

  This is ridiculous. If I wasn’t seething, I would find this quite amusing.

  She starts a shakedown of her entire body, shimmying and gyrating so inappropriately, that I witness a mother cover her son’s eyes, mortified. She glides over to some poor chump, and places her stilettoed boot in between his legs. She then leans forward, and begins driving her hips into his face while looking at Jasper seductively, singing about how much she doesn’t like his girlfriend.

  The poor guy, whose face will need a scrub down, top to bottom, is looking at his female companion, with his hands raised and a, ‘What the fuck,’ look on his face. His friend looks like she’s about to slam her fist into Indie’s revolving pelvis.

  I hear ya, sista!

  After Indie has finished blinding the poor innocent bystander with her rotating crotch, she begins a preppy dance move while clicking her fingers down low, and sidestepping over to our table. She stands in front of Jasper and commences shaking her hips, Shakira style. I almost gag on how absurd she looks.

  Jasper takes a big swig of beer, and I can tell by his body language he’s had enough.

  As she leans forward, hands braced on the edge of the table while singing how she should be Jasper’s girlfriend, Jasper takes a hold of my hand and pulls me up hastily, kicking back his chair.

  Danielle looks up at us and glares. “Where are you going?”

  “Home,” Jasper replies coldly.

  Sadly, Indie and her threesome have other ideas.

  They begin clapping over their heads so loudly, that it amplifies into the microphone, which squeals in protest. But that doesn’t stop Indie, as she makes her intentions clear that she won’t let Jasper leave by leaping towards him, attempting to clutch the scruff of his shirt.

  He shrugs out of her grip and walks away from her, dragging me along behind him, but she only quickens her step and corners him so he can’t move around her.

  He backs up against the wall as she pushes herself up against him, singing inches away from his face.

  That’s it!

  I’m about to grab the microphone and shove it down her throat, but Jasper pushes her away, yelling furiously, “Back off, Indie! Seriously, get a clue. I don’t want you!”

  Because the microphone is still on, Jasper’s words echo loudly, and so does Indie’s gasp.

  Thankfully, the DJ switches off her microphone and puts on some pop song as a distraction, but everyone’s eyes are still glued to the drama unfolding before them.

  Indie throws down the mic, stomping her foot repeatedly.

  “Jasper, how can you talk to me like that? I’ve known you since we were kids. I’ve loved you since then,” she adds, her lower lip trembling.

  “You don’t love me,” Jasper sneers. “You only want me because for once, you can’t have me. And you never will, not ever again.”

  “Jasper, this isn’t you talking,” Danielle says from behind Indie.

  As she glares at me over Indie’s shoulder, my last tether of patience snaps.

  “Who is, then, Danielle?” I ask, challenging her to answer.

  She purses her lips, narrowing her cold blue eyes at me. “You damn well know who.”

  Well, well. I can see why she and Indie are BFF. They are both total bitches!

  “Mom, you need to walk away before you say something you regret,” Jasper sneers, putting his arm around my waist.

  “No, Jasper, it’s fine. Let her speak,” I say calmly, because this is a discussion well over due, and I’m sick of pretending.

  Let’s do this.

  “Oh believe me, you won’t like what I have to say.” Danielle snickers while pointing her bony finger my way.

  “Mom, I mean it, quit it,” Jasper implores, pulling me closer to his side.

  “Look what she’s done to you, Jasper! Turned you against your family,” Danielle says while wrapping her arm around Indie, who is sniffling.

  “No, Mom, you did that. With all this drama and bullshit. Who the hell do you think you are? This person,” he says, jolting me against him. “She is my family. She would never make me feel as uncomfortable as you have tonight.”

  Danielle’s mouth pops open, but she quickly regains her composure. “But I am your mother. I’m your flesh and blood.”

  Jasper laughs bitterly. “Do you think you can just come into my life and pretend like everything is okay? I’ve forgiven you, but I haven’t forgotten what a shitty mom you were. And when you pull shit like tonight, I really regret giving you a second chance.”

  “I’m trying to make amends,” Danielle cries, tears pricking her icy eyes.

  I have no doubt these tears are staged. She realizes she cannot win this battle with Jasper, so she’s resorted to playing the sympathy card, hoping he’ll fall for it.

  But thankfully, he doesn’t.

  “I know you are, and that’s why I’ve turned a blind eye to all the drama. But no more. You hear me? Ava has always been there for me. Not you, but her.” Jasper is seething, and I can see the veins at his temple straining as he clenches his jaw.

  Danielle is quiet and lowers her head into her hands.

  “See what you’ve done!” Indie comforts a crying Danielle. “You’re a little whore!” Indie snarls. “Jasper will get sick of you. You’ll be a distant memory in six months’ time, mark my words,” she spits, walking closer and getting into my face.

  I’m so ready for this. I lunge forward, ready to take her on, but Jasper steps between us.

  “Enough! You take another step, Indie, and I will end you.”

  Both Indie and Danielle gasp, because Jasper is dead serious.

  I see security approaching, so I pull Jasper back, as he has leaned forward, fists clenched. “C’mon, Jasper, let’s go.”

  He stares from his mom to Indie and nods. “We’re done here.”

  Jasper’s mom sobs and yells at him, “So you’re choosing her over me?”

  Jasper’s mouth turns up into a smile, which is dripping with malice. “There was never a choice to make. It’ll always be her. It’ll always be us.”

  My heart swells to the size of a mountain.

  Danielle’s face drops as she reaches for Jasper. “How could you? I’m your mother.”

  It’s her final plea, but it’s about to backfire on her, because I know what Jasper is about to say, and funnily enough, I don’t stop him.

  “Well, I’m about to be a father. And unlike you, I’m doing what’s best for my child.”

  At that precise moment, the music stops and its official, everyone now knows that I’m pregnant.

  I thought when this moment occurred I would be shy and withdrawn. But how things pan out in your mind are usually totally different to how they pan out in real life. This is one of those moments.

  I raise my head proudly and meet the challenging stares of Ind
ie and Danielle head on.

  Indie looks as if she’s just been told Botox and extensions have been deemed illegal. Her eyes are bulging out of her head, and if her mouth dropped any lower, I’d be able to see what she had for lunch.

  But Indie’s reaction isn’t the one that has me hiding behind Jasper.

  No, it’s Danielle’s.

  She looks absolutely livid.

  She also looks like she’s going to strangle me. Her hands have formed into claws and I can see a tick pulsate under her right eye. This is not a normal reaction of a grandmother-to-be. This is the reaction of someone who would be tried in court and found guilty of infanticide!

  “Jasper, let’s go,” I mumble, a little concerned for my safety.

  Jasper nods, giving his mother one final look. “Okay.”

  And with that, we leave.

  The car ride back to Jasper’s house is just depressing.

  Jasper has been silent since we left Harmonies, and I’m afraid he’ll never speak again.

  I don’t know what to say to him, because there are simply no words to express how sorry I am, that his birthday has gone down as the worst in history.

  But there are also no words to express how proud I am of him, and how grateful I am, to be such an integral part of his life.

  I never expected him to choose me over his mom, because I was happy to play nice with her. I would have ignored the snide remarks and kept my mouth shut because I knew how much it meant to Jasper for us to get along. It’s too bad Danielle couldn’t do the same.

  We pull into his driveway and he hurriedly exits without a word, slamming the car door behind him.

  I quickly unsnap my seatbelt and follow, but I stay a few steps behind, not wanting to crowd him, as he has that damn, unreadable look that I hate.

  As we ascend the stairs, his silence frightens me, but I quietly follow him into the house, hoping he’ll speak to me.

  “Jasper?” I ask softly when he tears off his jacket, throwing it onto the recliner. He begins pacing.

  I wait for a response, or a glance, but he doesn’t and I begin to think the worst.

  Watching him pace the room is giving me sea legs, so I plonk onto the edge of the sofa and curl my legs underneath me, silently begging him to talk to me.

  After a few minutes he finally speaks. “I’m sorry, Ava.”

  “Sorry?” I question on a gulp as I look up at him timidly. I’m terrified to find out what he is apologizing for.

  Jasper nods and his head dangles low, his posture is that of a defeated man.

  “For forcing this on you. My mom hasn’t changed. She’s still the same selfish person she was when I was a kid. She never gave you a chance, and I just thought that maybe…” His voice falters, but he continues, “That maybe things in my life could go right for once, you know.”

  Even though he can’t see me, I nod, because I completely understand.

  “And I’m sorry I told her about our baby. I just—” He turns his back on me, and my stomach fills with knots.

  “Ssshh, you have nothing to be sorry for,” I say with conviction, jumping up from the couch and rushing over to him.

  But he won’t turn to face me, and I won’t force him.

  “I just… I don’t know what to do, Ava. She’s my mom and you’re—” he pauses. “You’re my everything. I can’t lose you, I just can’t. But I can’t expect you to stick around when she’s treating you like shit.”

  I really don’t like where he’s going with this conversation. So I put as much passion and honesty into my response.

  “Hey, I’m not going anywhere, you hear me? Yes, your mom is a total bitch, and yes, she hates me. But I love you, and she comes with you, so I just have to deal. I’d rather deal with her than not have you in my life, Jasper. I can’t do that. Not ever again,” I whisper sadly.

  He turns to me quickly when he hears the catch in my voice.

  “Hey, hey,” he says, searching my eyes. “No talk about us being apart, okay?”

  I nod, wiping my nose on the back of my hand.

  “What did you mean about me not sticking around, then?”

  I can see him choosing his words carefully as he replies, “I don’t expect you to put up with my mom treating you like dirt.”

  “But—” I interrupt, but he doesn’t let me finish.

  “So, if she can’t deal with us being together… then I’m done with her.”

  “What?” I ask, stunned. “Jasper, no, she’s your mom. You can’t just cut ties.”

  “Yes, I can. I’ve lived without her for most of my life, I can do so again. But you,” he says, stepping closer until we’re toe to toe.

  “I cannot. I will not,” he adds with conviction while giving his head a firm shake.

  I don’t know what to say, because this man in front of me surprises me every day with his love and dedication. But giving up his mom for me, it’s something I know he’ll regret.

  “But—” I refute, looking into his big blue eyes.

  “No buts. The day I met you was the beginning of my life. Before I met you, my life was just a bleak existence of habit and routine. I was only surviving because I had to. But now, I’m surviving because I want to. I want to because of you,” he says, his fingertips brushing over my cheeks.

  Jasper has said some beautiful things to me in the past, but this, this is just too much. I can feel the tears approaching, and before they fall Jasper wraps me in his arms. I bury my head into his neck, crying.

  He rubs my back, soothing me while I cry, thinking how fucked up this situation is. I also cry for him, while he remains my pillar of strength.

  After I’m done slobbering everywhere, I pull back, wiping away my runaway tears with the back of my hand.

  “I still haven’t given you your birthday present.” I sniff.

  Jasper looks at his watch and smiles. “It’s past midnight. Not my birthday anymore.”

  “Even so,” I say, while I unwrap myself from his arms and search through my bag. As my fingers pass over it, I take a deep breath. I’m nervous he won’t like it.

  Holding it in my closed fist, I place my hand behind my back apprehensively.

  “If you don’t like it, or think its lame, I understand,” I mumble.

  Jasper holds out his palm, cocking his eyebrow with a smirk. “Hand it over.”

  Taking a deep breath, I drop the black velvet box into his outstretched palm.

  He looks at it and studies it closely, while I’m about to hyperventilate.

  I shuffle from foot to foot and Jasper chuckles, finally putting me out of my misery. The box hinges whine in protest when he opens the box. I close my eyes, afraid he’s going to hate it.

  After a few moments of stillness, I bravely crack open an eye to look at him.

  He looks, well… he looks speechless.

  “Don’t you like it?” I ask when taking in his stunned expression.

  Jasper’s head snaps up like he’s awoken from a dream.

  He meets my eyes and swallows. “Ava, I… I love it. Thank you.”

  His long, elegant fingers pry the simple, silver ring out from its white pouch, and I swear I see him falter. He’s holding the ring between his pointer finger and thumb, and is about to slip it onto his middle finger, but I stop him.

  “It’s engraved.”

  He halts, slowly drawing it closer so he can read it.

  It is only one word, but that one word equates to a million words strung together.

  His eyes flick to mine, and he reads out the inscription with pride. “Surrendered.”

  I give him a small nod, and my chest bursts in glee when I see how happy my gift has made him.

  “I surrender to you, Jasper White. My heart, my soul, me… has surrendered to you.”

  Jasper bites his lip and exhales deeply before he replies, “You are my miracle.”

  “Ditto.”

  He slips the ring onto his right middle finger. It looks perfect. Jasper is not one for jew
elry, as apart from his watch, he doesn’t wear any. But this simple, yet elegant, handcrafted sterling silver ring sits stunningly on his long, slender finger.

  “Happy birthday, Jasper.” I smile, relieved he likes his gift.

  “Thank you, baby. Best birthday ever,” he replies, holding his hand out in front of him while examining the ring.

  I raise my eyebrow at him and he lets out a small chuckle, meeting my eyes.

  “Even the sucky parts were bearable because I was with you,” he adds huskily as he hooks his thumb into my belt loop, pulling me towards him.

  “Kiss me,” I whisper when I am inches away from his wet, inviting mouth.

  Jasper licks his upper lip quickly, and before smashing his lips to mine, he gasps, “With pleasure.”

  Waking to an empty bed isn’t unusual, as Jasper is a night owl, and I often go to sleep before him. But it concerns me, as Jasper’s side of the bed looks as if someone has had an epileptic fit in it. The sheet is creased and crinkled, and the woolen blanket has been kicked towards the end of the bed. I can tell by the disarray that Jasper has tossed and turned and not caught a wink of sleep.

  Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I peer over at the red numbers on the clock radio, which read, 3:35a.m. I can hear the light rain pitter-patter on the roof, and I wonder where Jasper is.

  Quickly slipping out of bed and pulling on my Ugg boots, I grab Jasper’s sweater off the back of the chair because it’s freezing.

  I search around the house, but come up empty. His truck keys are still on the kitchen counter, so I know he hasn’t gone for a drive. Panic sets in and I grab his keys, ready to search the streets for him, just in case he’s gone for a walk to clear his head.

  Just as I’m about to charge through the front door, I see a red ember glowing through the front window.

  Jasper.

  Trying not to race through the living room, I attempt to act as casual as possible when I open the door quietly.

  Jasper is sitting on the top porch step, topless and in black sweatpants, his feet bare. His head is bowed, hanging limply, with his long hair spilling over his brow and face. His hands are resting loosely between his legs, and he, without a thought, places the cigarette between his lips, drawing in a drag without really tasting it.